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  1. #21
    Minecraft Widow
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nan View Post

    Why do fish swim in schools? Because they can't walk in schools.
    And tomorrow's joke comes from Nan!
    Cigarettes are like squirrels. They are perfectly harmless until you put one in your mouth and light it on fire. -- @ciggybuttz on Twitter

  2. #22
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    what happens when you cross an elephant and a rhinicerous?

    Elephino!

  3. #23
    Just me
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    Quote Originally Posted by skateycat View Post
    And tomorrow's joke comes from Nan!
    If this is to end in fire
    Then we will all burn together

  4. #24

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    Quote Originally Posted by PeterG View Post
    If you are an American outside of the bathroom, what are you in the bathroom?
    European.
    My nephew told this one when he was in second grade and got a note sent home from his teacher and a visit to the principal for "inappropriateness"
    "Me, cutie/chicken, the egg cup, I am the hammer of my spoon!"--Jen_Faith translation

  5. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by lanne View Post
    what happens when you cross an elephant and a rhinicerous?

    Elephino!
    Using this one today!
    Cigarettes are like squirrels. They are perfectly harmless until you put one in your mouth and light it on fire. -- @ciggybuttz on Twitter

  6. #26
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    Little skateycat got out of school early yesterday and lunch was at home. Elephino gave me a chance to use my linguist training and whip out a three-line translation for the answer to the joke.
    Cigarettes are like squirrels. They are perfectly harmless until you put one in your mouth and light it on fire. -- @ciggybuttz on Twitter

  7. #27

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    What do you call a cow with now legs? Ground beef.

    What crime did the peanut complain about? He was a-salted.

    What did the mommy tomato say to her slow baby tomato? Ketchup!
    "The practice of sport is a human right. Every individual must have the possibility of practicing sport, without discrimination of any kind and in the Olympic spirit, which requires mutual understanding with a spirit of friendship, solidarity and fair play." –Olympic Charter

  8. #28

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    Why did the elephant have 3 white sneakers and one yellow sneaker?

    He forgot to lift his leg.

  9. #29
    AYS's snark-sponge
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    What happened to the butcher who backed into the meat grinder?

    He got a little behind in his work.
    Congratulations 2014 World Ice Dance Champions Anna Cappellini & Luca Lanotte!!!

  10. #30
    Argle-Bargle-ist
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    Not sure how old your son is, so I'm not sure if this joke would work for him. But I think it's a good one anyway:

    An executive was interviewing a young woman for a position in his company. He wanted to learn something about her personality, so he asked, "if you could have a conversation with anyone, living or dead, who would it be?"

    She quickly responded, "The living one."
    It's official. I am madly in love with Meryl Davis.

  11. #31
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    Post your favorite kid-friendly joke (I put jokes & in little skateycat's lunch

    Quote Originally Posted by Southpaw View Post
    Why couldn't the cyclops open a school?

    Because he had only one pupil.
    Writing this joke up for tomorrow's lunch!
    Cigarettes are like squirrels. They are perfectly harmless until you put one in your mouth and light it on fire. -- @ciggybuttz on Twitter

  12. #32
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    Talking

    I think I'll be working through some of PeterG's jokes for the rest of the month. Next week is a holiday, oh wait. If I send him to spring break camp I still have to make him lunch!

    Good thing you all posted so many funny jokes!

    Quote Originally Posted by PeterG View Post

    What do you get when you cross a motorcycle with a joke book?
    A Yamahahahaha!


    What happens when a frog is parked illegally?
    It’s toad away.


    What kind of car does Luke Skywalker drive?
    A Toy Yoda.

    Did you hear about the man who stayed up all night trying to find out where the sun went?
    It finally dawned on him.


    Where do little cows eat?
    In the calf-ateria.

    What did the mother buffalo say to her baby when he went off to school?
    Bison.

    What did the monster eat after the dentist pulled out his tooth?
    The dentist.

    Knock-knock.
    Who’s there?
    Zombies.
    Zombies who?
    Zombies make honey and zombies don’t.

    Knock-knock.
    Who’s there?
    Jess.
    Jess who?
    Jess me.

    Knock-knock.
    Who’s there?
    Avenue
    Avenue who?
    Avenue heard this joke before?

    Knock-knock.
    Who’s there?
    Someone too short to ring the bell.
    Cigarettes are like squirrels. They are perfectly harmless until you put one in your mouth and light it on fire. -- @ciggybuttz on Twitter

  13. #33
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    A few more from the Laffy Taffy jar:

    Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide.

    What does a 500 pound parakeet say? TWEET!!

    What happened to the wind? It blew away.

    Why is your nose in the middle of your face? Because it's the scenter.

    What kind of candy gets the giggles? Laffy Taffy!
    If this is to end in fire
    Then we will all burn together

  14. #34

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    I saw this one on Facebook:

    What do you call a motorcycle that likes to tell jokes?

    A Yamahahahaha!
    -Brian
    "Michelle would never be caught with sausage grease staining her Vera Wang." - rfisher

  15. #35
    Saint Smugpawski
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    Quote Originally Posted by skateycat View Post
    Writing this joke up for tomorrow's lunch!
    Thank you, thank you, take my sushi, please!
    The fastest thing out of New Jersey since Tricky Nicky in a Muscovian handbasket

  16. #36

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    What was Eeyore looking at in the toilet?

    He was looking at Pooh.

  17. #37
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    The first joke I can remember being told as a kid was What has four wheels and flies? A garbage truck.

    Not exactly kid-appropriate, but this one always makes me laugh: A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walked into a bar. None of them saw it.

  18. #38
    Argle-Bargle-ist
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    Quote Originally Posted by PeterG View Post
    What do you get when you cross a motorcycle with a joke book?
    A Yamahahahaha!
    Quote Originally Posted by BigB08822 View Post
    I saw this one on Facebook:

    What do you call a motorcycle that likes to tell jokes?

    A Yamahahahaha!
    Brian never listens to me.............
    It's official. I am madly in love with Meryl Davis.

  19. #39
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    Quote Originally Posted by PeterG View Post
    Brian never listens to me.............
    Awww, Gee PeterG.

  20. #40

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    What is grey and has a trunk?

    A mouse on vacation.
    "Me, cutie/chicken, the egg cup, I am the hammer of my spoon!"--Jen_Faith translation

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