Page 2 of 3 FirstFirst 123 LastLast
Results 21 to 40 of 54
  1. 02-07-2013, 08:39 AM #21
    skateycat
    skateycat is offline
    Zamboni Zombie
    Join Date
    Nov 2001
    Location
    In a happy archivist void!
    Posts
    1,346
    vCash
    402
    Rep Power
    67
    Quote Originally Posted by Nan View Post

    Why do fish swim in schools? Because they can't walk in schools.
    And tomorrow's joke comes from Nan!
    Cigarettes are like squirrels. They are perfectly harmless until you put one in your mouth and light it on fire. -- @ciggybuttz on Twitter
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  2. 02-07-2013, 02:36 PM #22
    lanne
    lanne is offline
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
    Posts
    15
    vCash
    500
    Rep Power
    0
    what happens when you cross an elephant and a rhinicerous?

    Elephino!
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  3. 02-07-2013, 05:25 PM #23
    Nan
    Nan is offline
    Just me
    Join Date
    Nov 2002
    Location
    no place special
    Posts
    6,672
    vCash
    9383
    Rep Power
    99
    Quote Originally Posted by skateycat View Post
    And tomorrow's joke comes from Nan!
    Am I there yet?
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  4. 02-07-2013, 06:44 PM #24
    suep1963
    suep1963 is offline
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    out of the recliner at last
    Age
    49
    Posts
    7,645
    vCash
    500
    Rep Power
    0
    Quote Originally Posted by PeterG View Post
    If you are an American outside of the bathroom, what are you in the bathroom?
    European.
    My nephew told this one when he was in second grade and got a note sent home from his teacher and a visit to the principal for "inappropriateness"
    "Me, cutie/chicken, the egg cup, I am the hammer of my spoon!"--Jen_Faith translation
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  5. 02-08-2013, 09:45 PM #25
    skateycat
    skateycat is offline
    Zamboni Zombie
    Join Date
    Nov 2001
    Location
    In a happy archivist void!
    Posts
    1,346
    vCash
    402
    Rep Power
    67
    Quote Originally Posted by lanne View Post
    what happens when you cross an elephant and a rhinicerous?

    Elephino!
    Using this one today!
    Cigarettes are like squirrels. They are perfectly harmless until you put one in your mouth and light it on fire. -- @ciggybuttz on Twitter
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  6. 02-09-2013, 05:55 PM #26
    skateycat
    skateycat is offline
    Zamboni Zombie
    Join Date
    Nov 2001
    Location
    In a happy archivist void!
    Posts
    1,346
    vCash
    402
    Rep Power
    67
    Little skateycat got out of school early yesterday and lunch was at home. Elephino gave me a chance to use my linguist training and whip out a three-line translation for the answer to the joke.
    Cigarettes are like squirrels. They are perfectly harmless until you put one in your mouth and light it on fire. -- @ciggybuttz on Twitter
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  7. 02-09-2013, 06:55 PM #27
    Matryeshka
    Matryeshka is offline
    Join Date
    Jul 2002
    Location
    Ranger M, 5/12-11/24/2012
    Age
    33
    Posts
    11,693
    vCash
    500
    Rep Power
    134
    What do you call a cow with now legs? Ground beef.

    What crime did the peanut complain about? He was a-salted.

    What did the mommy tomato say to her slow baby tomato? Ketchup!
    When hugging a grammar nazi, I always say "there, their, they're."
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  8. 02-09-2013, 08:09 PM #28
    DORISPULASKI
    DORISPULASKI is offline
    Join Date
    Mar 2002
    Location
    Staring at the ocean, anywhere anytime
    Posts
    9,030
    vCash
    500
    Rep Power
    91
    Why did the elephant have 3 white sneakers and one yellow sneaker?

    He forgot to lift his leg.
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  9. 02-09-2013, 08:12 PM #29
    BlueRidge
    BlueRidge is offline
    AYS's snark-sponge
    Join Date
    May 2002
    Location
    riding the Ashley & Gracie bandwagon to the Olys
    Posts
    38,883
    vCash
    500
    Rep Power
    252
    What happened to the butcher who backed into the meat grinder?

    He got a little behind in his work.
    the Founders ...left us the keys to a system of self-government, the tools to do big things and important things together that we could not possibly do alone --Barack Obama
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  10. 02-11-2013, 12:10 AM #30
    PeterG
    PeterG is offline
    these r the good times
    Join Date
    Jun 2002
    Location
    Vancouver, BC
    Age
    49
    Posts
    7,108
    vCash
    400
    Rep Power
    598
    Not sure how old your son is, so I'm not sure if this joke would work for him. But I think it's a good one anyway:

    An executive was interviewing a young woman for a position in his company. He wanted to learn something about her personality, so he asked, "if you could have a conversation with anyone, living or dead, who would it be?"

    She quickly responded, "The living one."
    I'm off to the Patrick Chan threads...where you can watch a molehill become a mountain in seconds!!!
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  11. 02-11-2013, 08:26 AM #31
    skateycat
    skateycat is offline
    Zamboni Zombie
    Join Date
    Nov 2001
    Location
    In a happy archivist void!
    Posts
    1,346
    vCash
    402
    Rep Power
    67

    Post your favorite kid-friendly joke (I put jokes & in little skateycat's lunch

    Quote Originally Posted by Southpaw View Post
    Why couldn't the cyclops open a school?

    Because he had only one pupil.
    Writing this joke up for tomorrow's lunch!
    Cigarettes are like squirrels. They are perfectly harmless until you put one in your mouth and light it on fire. -- @ciggybuttz on Twitter
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  12. 02-12-2013, 08:58 AM #32
    skateycat
    skateycat is offline
    Zamboni Zombie
    Join Date
    Nov 2001
    Location
    In a happy archivist void!
    Posts
    1,346
    vCash
    402
    Rep Power
    67

    Talking

    I think I'll be working through some of PeterG's jokes for the rest of the month. Next week is a holiday, oh wait. If I send him to spring break camp I still have to make him lunch!

    Good thing you all posted so many funny jokes!

    Quote Originally Posted by PeterG View Post

    What do you get when you cross a motorcycle with a joke book?
    A Yamahahahaha!


    What happens when a frog is parked illegally?
    It’s toad away.


    What kind of car does Luke Skywalker drive?
    A Toy Yoda.

    Did you hear about the man who stayed up all night trying to find out where the sun went?
    It finally dawned on him.


    Where do little cows eat?
    In the calf-ateria.

    What did the mother buffalo say to her baby when he went off to school?
    Bison.

    What did the monster eat after the dentist pulled out his tooth?
    The dentist.

    Knock-knock.
    Who’s there?
    Zombies.
    Zombies who?
    Zombies make honey and zombies don’t.

    Knock-knock.
    Who’s there?
    Jess.
    Jess who?
    Jess me.

    Knock-knock.
    Who’s there?
    Avenue
    Avenue who?
    Avenue heard this joke before?

    Knock-knock.
    Who’s there?
    Someone too short to ring the bell.
    Cigarettes are like squirrels. They are perfectly harmless until you put one in your mouth and light it on fire. -- @ciggybuttz on Twitter
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  13. 02-12-2013, 05:26 PM #33
    Nan
    Nan is offline
    Just me
    Join Date
    Nov 2002
    Location
    no place special
    Posts
    6,672
    vCash
    9383
    Rep Power
    99
    A few more from the Laffy Taffy jar:

    Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide.

    What does a 500 pound parakeet say? TWEET!!

    What happened to the wind? It blew away.

    Why is your nose in the middle of your face? Because it's the scenter.

    What kind of candy gets the giggles? Laffy Taffy!
    Am I there yet?
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  14. 02-12-2013, 06:35 PM #34
    BigB08822
    BigB08822 is offline
    Join Date
    Mar 2003
    Location
    Top Secret FSU Witness Protection Location
    Age
    30
    Posts
    19,428
    vCash
    500
    Rep Power
    286
    I saw this one on Facebook:

    What do you call a motorcycle that likes to tell jokes?

    A Yamahahahaha!
    -Brian
    "Michelle would never be caught with sausage grease staining her Vera Wang." - rfisher
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  15. 02-12-2013, 07:05 PM #35
    Southpaw
    Southpaw is online now
    Saint Smugpawski
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Cutting Down Privet Because Food Prices Are Going Up Next Year
    Posts
    10,113
    vCash
    500
    Rep Power
    288
    Quote Originally Posted by skateycat View Post
    Writing this joke up for tomorrow's lunch!
    Thank you, thank you, take my sushi, please!
    The fastest thing out of New Jersey since Tricky Nicky in a Muscovian handbasket
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  16. 02-12-2013, 07:14 PM #36
    skipaway
    skipaway is offline
    Join Date
    May 2002
    Age
    50
    Posts
    6,897
    vCash
    500
    Rep Power
    407
    What was Eeyore looking at in the toilet?

    He was looking at Pooh.
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  17. 02-12-2013, 08:28 PM #37
    Fridge_Break
    Fridge_Break is offline
    Bleeding Green
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Location
    The Swamp
    Age
    26
    Posts
    7,262
    vCash
    500
    Rep Power
    194
    The first joke I can remember being told as a kid was What has four wheels and flies? A garbage truck.

    Not exactly kid-appropriate, but this one always makes me laugh: A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walked into a bar. None of them saw it.
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  18. 02-12-2013, 08:36 PM #38
    PeterG
    PeterG is offline
    these r the good times
    Join Date
    Jun 2002
    Location
    Vancouver, BC
    Age
    49
    Posts
    7,108
    vCash
    400
    Rep Power
    598
    Quote Originally Posted by PeterG View Post
    What do you get when you cross a motorcycle with a joke book?
    A Yamahahahaha!
    Quote Originally Posted by BigB08822 View Post
    I saw this one on Facebook:

    What do you call a motorcycle that likes to tell jokes?

    A Yamahahahaha!
    Brian never listens to me.............
    I'm off to the Patrick Chan threads...where you can watch a molehill become a mountain in seconds!!!
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  19. 02-12-2013, 08:45 PM #39
    DarrellH
    DarrellH is offline
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Posts
    4,123
    vCash
    500
    Rep Power
    0
    Quote Originally Posted by PeterG View Post
    Brian never listens to me.............
    Awww, Gee PeterG.
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  20. 02-13-2013, 05:26 PM #40
    suep1963
    suep1963 is offline
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    out of the recliner at last
    Age
    49
    Posts
    7,645
    vCash
    500
    Rep Power
    0
    What is grey and has a trunk?

    A mouse on vacation.
    "Me, cutie/chicken, the egg cup, I am the hammer of my spoon!"--Jen_Faith translation
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
Page 2 of 3 FirstFirst 123 LastLast
« Previous Thread | Next Thread »

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

Forum Rules