Lent

[Spun Silver]

Well, Lent is also the season of "almsgiving" and a lot of people link that to fasting. Figure out how much you save by giving up booze or whatever, and give it away creatively. Last year I sent mine to some Italian nuns in Egypt where Christians are so endangered... they work with refugees from Sudan... but you could just as well keep your eyes open and when you see someone on the street in obvious poverty, just walk up, say something kind, and hand them an envelope with a God bless. Trust me, it will give you a spiritual glow all through Lent and after, and will send a ray of love into the world.

[Marge_Simpson]

Another thing I've done for Lent (with varying degrees of success ) is to follow the "Complaint Free World" guidelines:

http://www.acomplaintfreeworld.org/

[Angelskates]

Another thing I've done for Lent (with varying degrees of success ) is to follow the "Complaint Free World" guidelines:

http://www.acomplaintfreeworld.org/

I mostly complain in writing so I don't know if that counts...

[PDilemma]

It is not healthy to bottle up grief, pain and discomfort.

Asking people to not fuss about every little thing all day long is one thing, but suggesting that "grief, pain and discomfort" be left unspoken and unaddressed is not a good thing. My father kept his pain and discomfort to himself for several months last year. The result was cancer not being diagnosed in a timely manner. But he wasn't putting out negative energy by complaining while that tumor grew unchallenged. He wouldn't have had to move his bracelet. *eyeroll*

[maatTheViking]

It is not healthy to bottle up grief, pain and discomfort.

Asking people to not fuss about every little thing all day long is one thing, but suggesting that "grief, pain and discomfort" be left unspoken and unaddressed is not a good thing. My father kept his pain and discomfort to himself for several months last year. The result was cancer not being diagnosed in a timely manner. But he wasn't putting out negative energy by complaining while that tumor grew unchallenged. He wouldn't have had to move his bracelet. *eyeroll*

That was my thought when I read on the website.

I could definitely get behind not complaining all the time ( I know I do that too much), but expressing pain, grief and discomfort is healthy.
There is a difference between whining and expressing your emotions.

[Angelskates]

It is not healthy to bottle up grief, pain and discomfort.

Asking people to not fuss about every little thing all day long is one thing, but suggesting that "grief, pain and discomfort" be left unspoken and unaddressed is not a good thing. My father kept his pain and discomfort to himself for several months last year. The result was cancer not being diagnosed in a timely manner. But he wasn't putting out negative energy by complaining while that tumor grew unchallenged. He wouldn't have had to move his bracelet. *eyeroll*

From the FAQ's:

To "Complain" is defined as "to express pain, grief, or discontent." Surely, it makes sense to express pain, grief or discontent occasionally but most people do so constantly. In so doing, they are talking and thinking about what they do not want in their life and, thereby, attracting more pain, grief and discontent. Instead, think and talk about what you are grateful for. Talk about what you DO want and not what you DON'T want.

It sounds to me like they're encouraging people not to complain for the sake of it. I think saying "My back hurts, so I am going to do x, y, and x." is fine. Saying your back hurts all the time without doing something about it maybe isn't. It also says "complaining, gossiping or criticizing" are what they like people to recognise. I think it's important to recognise the complaining, gossiping or criticizing and do something about it. They do encourage people to talk about what they want. You dad could have said he was in pain and wanted it to go away and therefore receive treatment (or do something else), and that would be fine.

I think in general people (including myself) complain too much without looking at the positives and being grateful, or what I can do about the situation/s I am complaining about.

[PDilemma]

The entire tone of that site is "are you grieving for someone or something? If so, shut up."

I am not in favor of complaining by any means. The last school I taught full time in had a culture of out of control complaining among the students and it needed to be stopped. If you gave these teenagers free pizza, they complained about it not being from their favorite pizza place. If you gave them a free t-shirt, they complained about the color. (And both of those things happened quite literally and more than once). That is ridiculous and unnecessary complaining. But no one should ever be told to repress genuine emotions of grief, pain or discomfort. Ever. And the loss of a loved one or the pain of watching someone dear to you go through cancer and many other difficult circumstances are not something you can necessarily "do something about". You can't bring that person back and you can't cure cancer personally. To say you are not allowed to talk about it unless you are "doing something about it" is one more way of telling hurting people to just shut up and smile.

It is a complete lack of empathy and compassion.

[Angelskates]

The entire tone of that site is "are you grieving for someone or something? If so, shut up."

I am not in favor of complaining by any means. The last school I taught full time in had a culture of out of control complaining among the students and it needed to be stopped. If you gave these teenagers free pizza, they complained about it not being from their favorite pizza place. If you gave them a free t-shirt, they complained about the color. (And both of those things happened quite literally and more than once). That is ridiculous and unnecessary complaining. But no one should ever be told to repress genuine emotions of grief, pain or discomfort. Ever. And the loss of a loved one or the pain of watching someone dear to you go through cancer and many other difficult circumstances are not something you can necessarily "do something about". You can't bring that person back and you can't cure cancer personally. To say you are not allowed to talk about it unless you are "doing something about it" is one more way of telling hurting people to just shut up and smile.

It is a complete lack of empathy and compassion.

Wow, I read it so differently. Firstly, I don't think it lacks empathy or compassion, it asks one to focus on oneself for starters, and not others complaining. And secondly, I think there's always something one can *do* to express pain, grief and suffering, whether its loss of a loved one or physical or emotional pain. I also think for that that whatever I choose to do I'd a healthier way of me dealing with it rather than complaining out loud. I complain a lot in writing (I journal a lot!) merely to get it out so I don't have to bother other people AND because it helps me figure out what I can do about the issues, and make a plan of action. I think we should be more aware of our complaining, I don't think we need to repress grief or pain, but we do need to be aware of it, and yes, work through it, IMO. Everyone's different, but I see the site as having a positive message. I can see why it wouldn't suit everyone, but nothing ever can.

[Marge_Simpson]

The book explains the plan a lot better than the website, and has helped me a lot, especially at work.
After reading the book, I became aware of something I hadn't really picked up on before: If one of us went into a complaint along the lines of "OMG, it was so crazy in here last night! I had 3 patients bleeding out at the same time and then this idiot doctor reported me for not answering the phone fast enough!", it didn't end there. Another person would say, "You think that's bad? This morning I had to work alone because everyone else called in sick and I had 4 patients bleeding out!" Etc etc.
If someone goes into a rant like that now, I commiserate, but I curb the impulse to respond with a complaint of my own.

I admit, I don't have much patience for people who constantly complain about their aches and pains. I have health problems of my own, but I generally never discuss this unless I am specifically asked. What is the point? Moaning about my problems is not going to make them disappear.

[MacMadame]

I don't know if it's a great idea or a horrible one but there is a colored rubber bracelet involved so I automatically hate it.

[Angelskates]

I don't know if it's a great idea or a horrible one but there is a colored rubber bracelet involved so I automatically hate it.

Yeah, I'd never get the bracelet

Marge_Simpson, I get caught in that too. Comparing complaints. I dropped a friend last year because she constantly complained and couldn't deal with me not agreeing with or supporting her complaints, or accept me trying to help find solutions. She wanted her problems, and she was part of every complaint. She chose not to do anything, and I ended up finding her way too negative to be around.

I'm very analytical and definitely find writing helps me, but also bringing things up with friends in almost brain storming session. Even when I had/have serious health problems, I try to see them more like challenges and ask myself and friends what can be done. In one such session, we decided that someone would come and cook dinner for me for a period of time. Since then I'm become more grateful for my friends, and more practical in my problem solving for both myself and others. Nothing bugs me more than hearing "I'll pray for you" as an cop out to actually helping practically, or making an effort that can be seen, even a phone call or text to say they just prayed...but I am trying to stop complaining about that!!

[Angelskates]

Craft Hope has put up their project, and I excited that I'm going to do it! I've contacted them because there's no way I'm going to post them to the US when I live here and I know the founders of New Hope Foundation. I'm hoping to set up a China group and I wouldn't mind being the contact person. Thanks so much for the suggestion, Marge!

[Marge_Simpson]

I'm going to do the project, too. I've never made a bib before, but if I can make myself a skirt, I can certainly do a bib.

[Angelskates]

I'm going to do the project, too. I've never made a bib before, but if I can make myself a skirt, I can certainly do a bib.

I've never sewed from scratch But now's a great time to learn! I'm going to write to the parents of my students to see if they can participate. My interfaith group have all okay'd it, even the guys!

Craft Hope have said its great that I can be the contact person for Asia

[Marge_Simpson]

Anita, that's so cool. I hope you realize you are going to receive a LOT of boxes in the mail. (check out the photos on their Facebook page, especially the sock monkeys. Unfortunately you can't see MY sock monkeys in the photos. They were quite debonair and had knitted scarves made by my coworker)
Can you ask if they will accept handmade toys as well as bibs? I participated in the last project (the stuffed toys) and still have lots of supplies left over.

[Angelskates]

Oh, I don't think I'll get so many from Beijing/China/Asia...people mostly already have their charity they support here. But I have plenty of storage anyway. I'll email NHF this week and ask them, but I think they'd accept homemade toys if you can get them here. Will Craft Hope send things that are not part of the project, though?

[Marge_Simpson]

I will ask them, but if not, do YOUR kids need any toys?

[Angelskates]

I will ask them, but if not, do YOUR kids need any toys?

Nope, we're set, thanks!

[Angelskates]

Is anyone planning to have pancakes tomorrow?

[paskatefan]

I have some questions for everyone involved in this thread. I'm Jewish, so Lent is not part of our religious practice. Is Lent observed by all Christians, regardless of denomination, or is it only observed by Catholics. Same question for Ash Wednesday - is it just observed among Catholics, or do the other denominations observe it as well?