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  1. #521

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    I think the difficult thing here is there is no answer. Even if he and his mother were alive to tell us what happened, how could there be a "why"? At least one that makes sense. 'Cause it doesn't make sense. He was crazy. We could find a more PC word, or a clinical diagnosis that someone made or a thought that someone had........but at the end of the day, he was nuts.

    I am not saying he wasn't troubled, or didn't come from a broken home, or might or might have not had Aspburgers or whatever. There was some portal in his brain that said this was ok.

    I bet we all have stories or circumstances. (I sure do........I was joking the other day, that my life was too nuts to even qualify for "My Life is a Lifetime Movie".) There is a brake that normal people access. Murderers, for whatever reason, override "normal" and replace it with totally self serving rationalizations for what they want to do.

    There is (IMO) bad and evil in the world. This was a broken person. And, unless there is a vaccine available to prevent it, searching for a reason is a futile action. He did it because he could. He did it because he wanted to. He did it because he was angry. He did it because he wanted to be "heard" and felt he wasn't being. And, he did it 'cause he didn't care about anything but himself. What more is there to know.

    BTW - I think the same answers apply to Susan Smith, Drove her two kids into a pond and left them to die.

    Seung-Hui Cho Virginia Tech

    Harris & Klebold Columbine

    Charles Roberts - Nichols Mine

    Lastly, IMO anyone who murders anyone (not kill, but murders) is nuts. We search so hard for answers, but it is incomprehensible. And, frankly, I would worry more if I did understand.
    DH - and that's just my opinion

  2. #522

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    I wanted to share this article about Nancy and Adam Lanza, which I found even-handed and informative:
    http://www.cnn.com/2012/12/16/us/con...html?hpt=hp_t2

  3. #523
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    Quote Originally Posted by BlueRidge View Post
    Sparks, have you had any experience with therapy dogs or their handlers? I haven't but I have a very hard time believing they aren't well aware that not all folks want to be around dogs and prepared to make sure no one who doesn't is frightened by the therapy dogs.
    I keep reading these posts. It appears that the people (adults/kids) went up to the dogs who were just sitting there, not the other way around. I am sure if someone was afraid of them, they would not make them get any closer! I think there are more people who appreciate and would be helped by the dogs than not. But nobody is forcing them to interact.

    (Coming from a dog lover who has sat down in the driveway to make a runaway dog come over, opened the passenger door at a stoplight on a busy street and called a dog to get in before she got hit and we took her to a shelter after driving around for an hour looking for someone looking for a dog, actually got out of my car once (not a busy street) to help 2 boys catch their dog who I trapped between my legs so they could get his collar back on.)

  4. #524
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    Quote Originally Posted by taf2002 View Post
    Have you read any of the articles about the shootings or any of the interviews? If so, you are part of the problem. So am I. We call them vultures but then we voratiously read what they wrote & we look at the photos they took obtrusively. Some media people don't know where to draw the line but the majority of the press are just doing the job of informing the public, a job WE want them to do.
    Yes, I know. They give us what we want, huh? I haven't watched any coverage since Sunday afternoon, except what has passed by on the regular news. It just galls me that they would go to a neighbor of someone who has lost a precious little granddaughter to ask them................what? "How do you think the "blanks" feel about losing their granddaughter?" And to call their church? And to stand out in the dark across a busy street to point out the church. They report this on the NEWS????? Did anybody call the church of that monster creep? No they talk to teachers and people who haven't seen him for 10 years and ask their opinions of why he did it. Geez.

  5. #525
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    Quote Originally Posted by skatesindreams View Post
    I wanted to share this article about Nancy and Adam Lanza, which I found even-handed and informative:
    http://www.cnn.com/2012/12/16/us/con...html?hpt=hp_t2
    Very interesting, thanks for sharing.

    I find myself struggling with the issue of privacy vs the public's right to know (or the emotional need to know as a means of understanding and closure, or just curiosity). On the one hand I see that especially in horrific, emotional cases like this, the only way we can move on is to gain enough understanding for closure. Collectively, we also need to know so we can understand and do something so that history doesn't repeat itself. I also see where acquaintances - sounds like several in the article - feel the need to defend someone or at least present an alternate view of the murderer and his mother.

    On the other hand, are the details of this family's life our business? The father and brother are still alive, and now the whole world knows intimate details about their family, including financial information. And perhaps worse is the information the world doesn't know but now speculates on and judges on (ie the wisdom of a parent exposing her troubled child to guns, what kind of brother doesn't see his younger brother in two years, what caused the divorce, etc). I can't even imagine what it would be like if something terrible happened in my own family, and as I struggled to understand, ran through emotions of confusion, sorrow, anger, guilt, and grieved, I read quotes from neighbours, contractors who had been in my house, former babysitters, classmates and others about me and my family. Sure it might be nice to have someone say something nice or help balance the negative stuff, but I still wouldn't want to see people talking about me publicly like that.

  6. #526

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    Since there is so little "factual" information at this point, even the authorities question "secondary" sources - never mind the media.
    It's a pity that other family members have the details of their lives open to scrutiny after these events.
    Unfortunately, it's a consequence of asking "Why"?; which is natural, under the circumstances.

  7. #527
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    Quote Originally Posted by Karina1974 View Post
    OK, we all get it. You are not one of the survivors of this incident, though, so why you need to go on and on about your own fears about dogs is beyond me (& others I'm sure). The fact that they are doing this is really none of your concern, so stop making a big deal over it, because it doesn't affect you personally. And even if you were a survivor of the shooting, they don't force anyone to interact with the dogs, & you wouldn't be hurting anyone's feelings when you tell them you want no part of it.
    Thank you!!

    Quote Originally Posted by BlueRidge View Post
    ITA. I heard from a counselor that the Asperger's community as she called it is very concerned about it being linked to the shooter with no evidence.

    I'm just not seeing anything in the media's reports of what may be known about the shooter that provides any information that I think could allow people to diagnose what the shooter may have suffered from, if that were ever a good idea anyway.

    I did see the no-pain syndrome thing but I don't know what that was based on. I know nothing about that but the NY Times recently had an article about a girl suffering from it and it was all about how she had to constantly be protected from hurting herself.
    I'll bet the Asperger's community's very concerned from the events of the last few days. If I was the parent of a child who was just newly diagnosed, I'd be terrified tell anyone right now just due to all of the coverage and what's that's done. Even though people *should* know better, sometimes we don't sadly.

    Quote Originally Posted by BlueRidge View Post
    Sparks, have you had any experience with therapy dogs or their handlers? I haven't but I have a very hard time believing they aren't well aware that not all folks want to be around dogs and prepared to make sure no one who doesn't is frightened by the therapy dogs.
    I've had experience w/them and believe me, they are very well trained in order to deal w/people who are scared of dogs. In fact, we were asked by our Nurse first if it was okay and if not, then that was okay too. The program was just starting at the hospital I was at, but there is nothing to lift the spirit like a furry four legged buddy whining to have her tummy rubbed. Especially at Christmas time.

    Quote Originally Posted by Rob View Post
    He smashed his hard drive before he left the house so it is unclear whether they can recover much data (if it contains any explanation at all).

    And I doubt the dog handlers are dumping dogs on people who don't want to be with the dogs. For me, a dog is nice, but a purring cat would be even better.

    All I can say is that if I ever do something evil, I wonder what people I haven't spoken to in 15 or 20 years will say about it.
    I don't know....Those computer forensic experts can sometimes produce miracles when it comes to getting something from nothing. I'd also love a purring cat, but the visit from the Collie mix that one time was just as great. Your last sentence though...In this day and age of instant celebrity, it's sad who will come out of the woodwork claiming to be "a friend" when in reality, they really haven't had much to do w/each other in years.

    But it's a "friend" claiming to know "something", so...

    Quote Originally Posted by BlueRidge View Post
    Are there therapy cats? It would seem like there would be.
    There are now, but not as many because as all of us Cat People know...Cats are not trainable and we are not their Owners. We're their Staff!!

    My Great Uncle and Aunt were also in a Nursing Home that had two resident cats who were nothing but two ol lovey buggies. We visited once on a really hot day and they had their really big fan on in their room. About five minutes into our visit, the one cat who was a long hair came on the run, skidded in front of the fan, then just flopped over w/her legs up w/this long sigh of "Finally!!"

    We nearly hit the floor laughing.

    What's that got to do w/the topic of the thread? Nothing, but thought we needed a smile along w/my answer to BlueRidge.

  8. #528
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    Read the NY Daily News this morning over breakfast. Top story on the website was about Vicki Soto's funeral. Paul Simon was there (the article said he knows the Sotos through his sister-in-law), and he got up midway through the funeral and did an acoustic version of "The Sound of Silence" which apparently was Vicki's favorite song.

  9. #529

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    The real problem is that there has been very little progress on the treatment of mental illness and there are very few resources. A lot of mental illnesses begin in the teen years, and by the time you realize there is a serious problem that discipline won't solve, the teen is an adult, unable to make their own decisions but legally on their own.

    Adam was apparently troubled all his life but no one knew what to do about it. I question his mother's judgment giving him access to guns but I sympathize with the isolation she must have felt dealing with him on her own. Adam was also reputed to be exceptionally smart so it is possible that he simply outwitted her in any attempt to keep guns away from him. He likely could have outwitted any contract security guards as well. The school was locked when he approached, he simply shot the door down.

  10. #530

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    A very interesting and enlightening view of Adam Lanza's situation; by someone who has Asperger's syndrome:
    http://ireport.cnn.com/docs/DOC-898151

  11. #531
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    Quote Originally Posted by Prancer View Post
    They plan everything about the killings, he says, except how to get away.

    "It's about suicide," Welner says. "It's about tying one's masculinity to destruction."


    Read more: http://www.businessinsider.com/scien...#ixzz2FX6KURsI
    That is a really interesting article. I guess there are different schools of thought, but the psychiatrist I saw on TV doesn't think it is all about suicide and destruction for all mass shooters. He said that while there are some who intend to die in a blaze of destruction, many don't think about suicide or planning an escape because they think they are going to walk back out the door they came in or get back in the car they drove there in. And this time, they will be popular and make friends. He was introduced as the only mental health professionals outside of the law enforcement context that the Harris and Klebold families agreed to speak to. I wish I had gotten his name. Of course he said there isn't just one profile -- many do intend to commit suicide and often leave notes. Of those that don't leave notes, he believes that many think they'll be cured of their problems. This article's description of Michael Carneal sound similar to his theory: http://www.cnn.com/2012/12/17/opinio...ers/index.html Carneal did not commit suicide, but he thinks some of the ones that do did not plan to do so.

    I don't think there are answers, but there is context. Maybe I am interested because we had one of these at the company where I work (at another location in another state, not in my actual office building). One of our employees killed 6 and injured 8-9 at his plant. Totally disgusting and unspeakable.
    I think I will have a snack and take a nap before I eat and go to sleep.

  12. #532

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  13. #533
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    Quote Originally Posted by AragornElessar View Post
    My Great Uncle and Aunt were also in a Nursing Home that had two resident cats who were nothing but two ol lovey buggies. We visited once on a really hot day and they had their really big fan on in their room. About five minutes into our visit, the one cat who was a long hair came on the run, skidded in front of the fan, then just flopped over w/her legs up w/this long sigh of "Finally!!"
    My cat does that in front of the A/C in the summer after she's been out in the heat. Charges in and flops right in front of it. Really hilarious.
    I think I will have a snack and take a nap before I eat and go to sleep.

  14. #534
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    Quote Originally Posted by skipaway View Post
    Well...It is a Fox affliliate, so sadly not that surprising they would do a "story" such as that.

  15. #535
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    Unless someone else posted this and I missed it --

    At 9:30 this morning there will be a national moment of silence for the shooting victims.

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    Happening now. So, sad. Just an FYI, AOL is respecting a moment of silence. Cannot go to mail for a moment.

  17. #537
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    Quote Originally Posted by Karina1974 View Post
    Unless someone else posted this and I missed it --

    At 9:30 this morning there will be a national moment of silence for the shooting victims.
    Oh my goodness, that was so moving. It lasted such a long time while the bells rang.
    I think I will have a snack and take a nap before I eat and go to sleep.

  18. #538
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    Quote Originally Posted by cruisin View Post
    Happening now. So, sad. Just an FYI, AOL is respecting a moment of silence. Cannot go to mail for a moment.
    I'm the receptionist at my place of employment, and they told me not to put any phone calls through during that time. I think all of our customers were observing the MOS too, because I didn't get any calls for about 5 minutes after 9:30. Interesting that no formal announcement was made about it - I heard about it from our billing/inventory clerk, not from the sales manager who is in charge when our president isn't here (he's home sick) - yet the whole office was quiet.

  19. #539
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stormy View Post
    Many, many listings of the victims names and ages have included the mother. She isn't being ignored as a victim in what I am reading.

    That is true, but there was no bell for her today. I can see it both ways. Apparently, around Newtown, the tributes that are popping up mostly do not include her. http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/n...other/1783917/ It sounds like people don't blame her for her son's actions, but they are angry that she permitted him access to guns. It is understandable.

    I for one hope she didn't know what hit her.
    I think I will have a snack and take a nap before I eat and go to sleep.

  20. #540
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    Quote Originally Posted by Karina1974 View Post
    Unless someone else posted this and I missed it --

    At 9:30 this morning there will be a national moment of silence for the shooting victims.
    wow, this is the first I've heard of it. it certainly wasn't observed in my workplace. Maybe it was just 9:30am EST?
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    A: Competition forums on the board are available to those with a Season Pass or a premium membership How to View Kiss & Cry

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