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  1. #21

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    That was a beautiful tribute. I'm crying here. I'm so sorry for your loss.

  2. #22
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    ((((Matry))))

    I know how you feel - our beloved bunny passed away after almost ten years just a few months ago, shortly after I left for grad school. The way it worked out it was very sudden and I'll always regret that I never got to say goodbye to her. I didn't get to see her spot in the backyard until I got back for Thanksgiving a few days ago and whoever said that it's so hard around the holidays is right.

    I'm glad you had some wonderful times with her - she was lucky to have you.

  3. #23

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    ((((Matry))))

  4. #24
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    That was a beautiful tribute to your friend and furbaby. I wish everyone could have the same kind of love for their animals.

  5. #25
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    i had trouble finishing reading your tribute. It brought tears to my eyes. Thanks for sharing.

  6. #26
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    ((Matry)) RIP Ranger
    Crows and Eville SQUIRRELS love peanuts!

  7. #27
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    I'm truly sorry for your loss, Matry. RIP Ranger, doggie non pareil and pup extraordinaire.
    "I miss footwork that has any kind of a discernible pattern. The goal of a step sequence should not be for a skater to show the same ice coverage as a Zamboni and take about as much time as an ice resurface. " ~ Zemgirl, reflecting on a pre-IJS straight line sequence

  8. #28

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    Thank you for your kind words. It helps, but I just feel so sad and horribly heavy and empty at the same time. Meal time was hard--just a year and a half ago, I was getting down three bowls, and now we're down to one. There was no furry feet to greet me this morning or excited yips as I came down the stairs. I don't need to wake up at 7:00 to let them out, but I did anyway and it felt wrong to just roll over and go back to sleep without letting a dog out first (the family dog keeps hours like my dad--stays up late, sleeps late). It's also like relosing Daisy. They were a matched set, and Ranger took such good care of her when she had a seizure. Ranger was my link to her, and a promise to continue caring for her, and now they're both really gone. I feel cheated; so much of my time was spent taking care of Daisy, I feel like Ranger was neglected somehwat (though she was more neurotic and active; she was not a pet me, pet me, pet me all the time dog) while Daisy was alive, and Ranger was such a majestic, fabulous dog and I just feel cheated we both didn't get more time together, and I just wish I could go back and just do more--more car rides, more dog parks, more squeaky toys, even if Daisy couldn't go.

    Even though I know it's so wrong, I feel so resentful towards the family dog, Pepper. She's 18, she's lived a good long life and really only enjoys food and sleeping now. She's not very mobile, and the day is approaching where we'll have to make the decision to put her down not because she's sick but because she can no longer walk. Why couldn't it be that dog? Even a month ago, Ranger was so vivacious and full of life and chasing squirrels (or trying to) and bringing me toys and stealing bits of food. I can barely look at the family dog withoug being ANGRY. She also just sits there and sleeps except when there's food like the bottom hasn't fallen out of the world. I know it's irrational, but I can't seem to get past it.

    While I don't have the sense of overwhelming guilt or anger at a vet for Ranger's death like I did at Daisy's, I feel so much sadder and my grief is so much deeper. She was my protector--squirrels, postmen, lawn cutters, but also more serious--drunk frat boys used to try to come into my apartment when I lived in Tigerland, and Ranger would give the most vicious growl (Daisy too) and would throw herself at the door to keep them out (the lock didn't work really well and neither did the dead bolt). They kept me feeling a sense of safety and security when there was a serial killer loose in Baton Rouge and targeting female LSU students. We ecavuated hurricanes together, and they moved with me so many times. They were part of my life in so many ways.

    I can't watch skating because of those damn ASPCA commercials. I can't look at the computer desk because that was Ranger's favorite spot to take a long afternoon nap. Since they followed us everywhere, we had dog beds in every room of the house, and I can't stand seeing all those empty beds. The cat is going room-by-room looking for Raner and meowing horribly.

    Anyway, thanks for letting me rant/be sad here. Currently, the pet thread is just too much for me to go into. I've given myself a time limit--I am having her cremated and we can pick up her ashes next Thursday. We're going to spread the ashes next to the pear tree in the rye grass (Ranger and Daisy loved rye grass; they'd sit and sun themselves on a nice day) and bury her leash there on Saturday and after that I'm going to make a concerted effort to not grieve. Daisy's leash is buried under the pear next to it. We're going to turn both the doggies' collars into Christmas ornaments and put them on the tree this year.
    "The practice of sport is a human right. Every individual must have the possibility of practicing sport, without discrimination of any kind and in the Olympic spirit, which requires mutual understanding with a spirit of friendship, solidarity and fair play." –Olympic Charter

  9. #29

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    Matry,
    It sounds like you have a good plan. Just give yourself the time to really grieve, whatever you need. The anger and grief will pass and then there will be only happy memories. Aw that your cat knows Ranger is gone and is mourning her. Give her an extra pat when you are able...

  10. #30
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    Matry, let yourself grieve. An era of your life has ended. One thing I can promise you is there will come a day when another pup will call you theirs. The most difficult part of having an animal in your life is the reality that they are only there for a short time and it's painful when that time ends. And then one day a puppy makes you laugh again. I was certain I would not get another dog when my Akita died, but two Poodles are taking up most of my sofa as I type this. But, in the mean time, it's OK to be sad.
    Those who never succeed themselves are always the first to tell you how.

  11. #31
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    (((((matry)))))

  12. #32

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    Quote Originally Posted by Buzz View Post
    i had trouble finishing reading your tribute. It brought tears to my eyes. Thanks for sharing.
    Seconding this.

    Matry, I have some idea of what you are going through.
    I lost my beloved cat, Ruby, last week at age 14.
    Knowing that she is at peace; and suffering no longer, really helps.
    May memories of what a loving "furbaby" Ranger was comfort you; even as you grieve.
    You were blessed to have found one another.

  13. #33

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    Matry, that was beautiful.
    I'm so sorry for your loss. Ranger was a beautiful, loved dog.

  14. #34
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    Quote Originally Posted by Matryeshka View Post
    Even though I know it's so wrong, I feel so resentful towards the family dog, Pepper. She's 18, she's lived a good long life and really only enjoys food and sleeping now. She's not very mobile, and the day is approaching where we'll have to make the decision to put her down not because she's sick but because she can no longer walk. Why couldn't it be that dog? Even a month ago, Ranger was so vivacious and full of life and chasing squirrels (or trying to) and bringing me toys and stealing bits of food. I can barely look at the family dog withoug being ANGRY. She also just sits there and sleeps except when there's food like the bottom hasn't fallen out of the world. I know it's irrational, but I can't seem to get past it.
    When we lost our beagle Chas (two weeks from cancer diagnoses to death), we also had another beagle at the time who was chronically unhealthy. We always expected to lose him young because he had Cushings disease, and because of this it was always hard to think of him as being special because we always expected him to be gone soon. The dear old thing lived well into his teens, dying just last year. Yet there was our always healthy, vibrant Chas gone so quick. While I didn't resent Humphrey for being there, I did massively miss Chas. It didn't quite seem fair. After Chas' death, Humphrey kind of stepped up and having him around really did help the feelings of loss - he was able to in his own little Humphrey way help to fill the void. I can understand your feelings of anger, but please try to let/keep the family dog in your life. You may just find out that it really helps.

    I am having her cremated and we can pick up her ashes next Thursday. We're going to spread the ashes next to the pear tree in the rye grass (Ranger and Daisy loved rye grass; they'd sit and sun themselves on a nice day) and bury her leash there on Saturday and after that I'm going to make a concerted effort to not grieve. Daisy's leash is buried under the pear next to it. We're going to turn both the doggies' collars into Christmas ornaments and put them on the tree this year.
    We have all of our dogs' ashes buried in a flower garden. April, our first dog that we got in England and brought back to the US with us - Rossut Queen was her Kennel Club name and she was royalty to her toenails. Buddy, a yellow dog who was dumber than stone and all the happier for it. He went way too young. Floppy, my steadfast companion who was a wonderful family dog. Chas, the puppy of my son's early years and a merry soul. Humphrey, who loved - absolutely loved- everything and everybody despite the health problems that plagued him. Missing is Bandit, who in his old age disappeared into the woods one day and never came back, but he is not forgotten. The flowers grow happily above them, and seeing them reminds me of the happy days with them. I hope you will eventually have the same happiness with the pear tree. (((Matry)))
    Last edited by purple skates; 11-26-2012 at 12:00 AM.

  15. #35

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    RIP Ranger! What a special friend.
    -Brian
    "Michelle would never be caught with sausage grease staining her Vera Wang." - rfisher

  16. #36
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    (((Matryeshka))) How lucky you and Ranger were to find each other.

  17. #37

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    Thank you for sharing this beautiful tribute with us and my sincere condolences on your loss.
    "I hit him with my shoes... if he had given me the medal like I told him to, I wouldn't have had to hit him!" -- 8-year-old Rhoda Penmark in "The Bad Seed"

  18. #38

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    I'm so sorry Matry, and RIP wonderful Ranger. Your list of all the things that made Ranger special was wonderful.

    My best dog in the world, a lab/shepherd cross, was diagnosed with diabetes at 9 years and soon became blind, then spent four additional years with us, most of them with me in my home office. Managing her diabetes was not easy and many times we thought she was down for the count, but she rallied. She was a stubborn and willful dog - once I found her a block and a half away from the house, taking herself for a walk to the park. She remained the same after becoming blind and diabetic. Her back legs got weak and eventually she had to toddle around like a chicken to piddle (couldn't squat), but that nor anything else stopped her from enjoying life. he enjoyed life to the very end, not being anywhere as limited by her blindness as we had expected.

    Unlike, you I had time to prepare, and I was grateful for that. Her hind legs finally gave out (stroke, we think) and that day we loaded her up on snacks. She was on the vet's table with her tongue in a peanut butter jar when she passed on.
    Last edited by Japanfan; 11-26-2012 at 11:35 AM.

  19. #39
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    Quote Originally Posted by Japanfan View Post
    She was on the vet's table with her tongue in a peanut butter jar when she passed on.
    What a lovely memory.
    3539 and counting.

    Slightly Wounding Banana list cont: MacMadame.

  20. #40

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    Matry, that was a beautiful tribute. I, too had the BEST DOG IN THE WORLD in a lab/shepherd mix, who was apparently wonderfully healthy and taken too soon due to cancer (gone in a snap; nothing could be done). dh and I cried hard every day for at least a week, and when I went to pick up his ashes I burst into tears again. It was very hard to get over. (((Matry))) Take all the time you need to grieve, and don't let anyone tell you it was "just a dog."
    BARK LESS. WAG MORE.

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