How would you resolve this conflict?

[allezfred]

As did C&C Music Factory......

[PrincessLeppard]

EVERYBODY DANCE NOW!

c'mon, let's sweat....

[escaflowne9282]

This reminds me, I was super greedy this Thanksgiving, so I think I'm gonna do the elliptical for about an hour today.

[Alex Forrest]

I find it interesting that AF usually works out on old clothes from good will, but on the one day he leaves his wet, mildewing clothes in his friends car and they get thrown out, he is wearing expensive work out wear. As Arsenio Hall used to say, "Things that make you go hmmm."

Well, I usually only work out at the gym 3 times per week, sometimes more if I'm not too tired. I didn't regularly wear that outfit, because I didn't want to have to wash it so much, so maybe a couple times a month. Yeah, it was bad luck that I was wearing that on the one day I left the clothes in his car. I also have two other workout outfits that are very nice too that I wear when I want a boost. It's not like the one that got thrown out was the one and only nice workout outfit I have. I've left clothes at his house several times before though, and never had them thrown out. So this situation was not the one time I ever left something with him. It's not a big deal. I just won't ever leave anything at his home anymore. Problem solved. Moving along.

[milanessa]

It's not a big deal.

You sure tried to make it one.

[Alex Forrest]

You sure tried to make it one.

Maybe you interpreted it that way. That isn't how it played out in the real world. Sorry to post my feelings on here. I figured an anonymous message board gave me a cover to vent and get advice without getting my friends involved. I got the advice, and dealt with the situation without much drama. Even when I called him I was calm and just said "You know, X, I'm pretty upset that you did this, and I do think that you should reimburse me for those items". He obviously agreed, and came over in a few minutes. I expressed to him how my feelings were hurt, and we moved on. I think that's what adults do. No drama, no raised voices or accusations or "HOW COULD YOU?!"s, just a resolution of a simple conflict.

[Sparks]

Look back at the thread title. You asked...

[michiruwater]

I just want to clarify, AF, that my issues with what you posted had nothing to do with your issues with what your friend did. I would never have thrown out the clothes, and I think your friend/acquaintance/whatever was completely in the wrong. What I took issue with was you being melodramatic, per usual, by using the word 'sociopath', and continuing to bitch about how you planned on cutting out said friend after he compensated you for the items he threw out.

And I mean, just now you post that you resolved it when he paid you, but then there are multiple posts on this thread where you made it clear it was not at all resolved. You're inconsistent and dramatic and it's irritating.

And you've been told this before, in the equally melodramatic, hyperbolic thread about your dad on that ridiculous dating website, but if you post crap like this on a public message board you should probably expect people to tell you things you don't want to hear. Duh.

[taf2002]

I just want to clarify, AF, that my issues with what you posted had nothing to do with your issues with what your friend did. I would never have thrown out the clothes, and I think your friend/acquaintance/whatever was completely in the wrong. What I took issue with was you being melodramatic, per usual, by using the word 'sociopath', and continuing to bitch about how you planned on cutting out said friend after he compensated you for the items he threw out.

And I mean, just now you post that you resolved it when he paid you, but then there are multiple posts on this thread where you made it clear it was not at all resolved. You're inconsistent and dramatic and it's irritating.

And you've been told this before, in the equally melodramatic, hyperbolic thread about your dad on that ridiculous dating website, but if you post crap like this on a public message board you should probably expect people to tell you things you don't want to hear. Duh.

You're absolutely correct. Case in point:

"He obviously agreed, and came over in a few minutes. I expressed to him how my feelings were hurt, and we moved on."

You moved on???? You didn't even let him in the door! I don't call that moving on. I guess if he had groveled it would have been alright.

[Alex Forrest]

And you've been told this before, in the equally melodramatic, hyperbolic thread about your dad on that ridiculous dating website, but if you post crap like this on a public message board you should probably expect people to tell you things you don't want to hear. Duh.

Yeah, I suppose you are correct. I do put it out there don't I, but I am thick-skinned enough. I don't mind hearing things I don't want to hear. I never should have said he was like a sociopath, that was pushing it. I did get some very good advice here, and I thank those that offered it to me. Had I not posted this thread, I probably would have not have asked to be reimbursed and just let it go, and simmer in private. In real life I avoid conflict like the plague, and so many times I just let things go. I've started becoming more assertive little by little so I don't feel shat on. I am pleased with the way it all worked out, so thanks for helping out. I finally got ahold of my parents earlier and told them what happened, and my Mom's response was "What in the world?!!" and she was appropriately dumbfounded and angry like I was. It sucks what happened, but it's over, we hung out today no problems. And I know that no matter what I write on here, there are going to be many people who will be automatically insulting and looking for the worst. It's not a 'duh' for me, I expect it. My posting history has not been the nicest or the most sound so I do deserve it, but I've tried to change that, and have left mostly negative comments off of here. Trying to live more in line with "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all." It's more enjoyable that way. I've enjoyed the feedback, and try to improve myself. So thanks.

[misskarne]

I finally got ahold of my parents earlier and told them what happened, and my Mom's response was "What in the world?!!" and she was appropriately dumbfounded and angry like I was.

Well, thankyou for admitting at last that all you were fishing for was a bunch of people to post in here "ZOMG THAT'S AWFUL U SHUD TTLY NEVA TALK 2 HIM AGEN!" and have them backing your every OTT statement with total sympathy.

[michiruwater]

Well, thankyou for admitting at last that all you were fishing for was a bunch of people to post in here "ZOMG THAT'S AWFUL U SHUD TTLY NEVA TALK 2 HIM AGEN!" and have them backing your every OTT statement with total sympathy.

Well, to be fair, he actually already said that on Page 2:

I do appreciate the responses. I suppose I just wanted reassurance that I was right to be angry and upset. Thanks.

[Alex Forrest]

Yes, you're a drama queen. It's actually quite funny so keep on posting.

What's funny, Mila, is that you are a joke on this board. I was SS way back when. That you are calling me out is kind of hilarious. So yeah, I'll change my bio to "Badly permed cranky chick, and FSU appointed drama queen". I have a sense of humor and have always been self-deprecating. I'm in on the joke. You will still be struggling with anyone having any respect for your posts. Either acquire a sense of humor and stop being a bitch, or just get a frackin life. No one takes you seriously anyway Mila. I actually think it is quite funny to see your weak posts dissected into oblivion to show the moron you are. Seriously Mila, you do tend to come across as an airhead or an uberbatch. Your attempts at bullying or just flat out batchiness is evident and either funny or kind of sad.

I know I said I try to be nice, but Mila has been putting me on and riding my ass for a while now, to the point of my discomfort whenever I log on here and I'm pretty thick skinned as this is an anonymous board. She deserves it. Keep posting, Mila, because many of us do get a laugh at your ridiculousness. You poor thing. *hug* As if.

[milanessa]

[Wyliefan]

I know I said I try to be nice . . . I'm pretty thick skinned . . .

You keep using those words. I do not think they mean what you think they mean.

[taf2002]

What's funny, Mila, is that you are a joke on this board. I was SS way back when. That you are calling me out is kind of hilarious. So yeah, I'll change my bio to "Badly permed cranky chick, and FSU appointed drama queen". I have a sense of humor and have always been self-deprecating. I'm in on the joke. You will still be struggling with anyone having any respect for your posts. Either acquire a sense of humor and stop being a bitch, or just get a frackin life. No one takes you seriously anyway Mila. I actually think it is quite funny to see your weak posts dissected into oblivion to show the moron you are. Seriously Mila, you do tend to come across as an airhead or an uberbatch. Your attempts at bullying or just flat out batchiness is evident and either funny or kind of sad.

I know I said I try to be nice, but Mila has been putting me on and riding my ass for a while now, to the point of my discomfort whenever I log on here and I'm pretty thick skinned as this is an anonymous board. She deserves it. Keep posting, Mila, because many of us do get a laugh at your ridiculousness. You poor thing. *hug* As if.

Yeah, milanessa is the joke. You keep telling that to yourself.

[numbers123]

What's funny, Mila, is that you are a joke on this board. I was SS way back when. That you are calling me out is kind of hilarious. So yeah, I'll change my bio to "Badly permed cranky chick, and FSU appointed drama queen". I have a sense of humor and have always been self-deprecating. I'm in on the joke. You will still be struggling with anyone having any respect for your posts. Either acquire a sense of humor and stop being a bitch, or just get a frackin life. No one takes you seriously anyway Mila. I actually think it is quite funny to see your weak posts dissected into oblivion to show the moron you are. Seriously Mila, you do tend to come across as an airhead or an uberbatch. Your attempts at bullying or just flat out batchiness is evident and either funny or kind of sad.

Hhhmmmm. Sounds like I've read these words somewhere recently . I've never thought that milanessa has been a batch or someone I don't respect or the most hated poster. I do find myself disagreeing with her at times, but never bitchy or hateful. And FWIW - even when I disagree with her, I respect her as someone who gives appropriate advice. YMMV

[cruisin]

Well, here's my 2 cents, for what it's worth.

Alex accidentally left his gym bag in a friend's car. Yes, it had expensive things in it, but clearly he has other work out clothes, to fill in. So, I can see where he might not feel urgency to get it back ASAP. Also, he had no reason to believe that his friend would throw the clothes away. He wouldn't call to see if the bag was in the car, he knew it was. He knew he was seeing the friend in a few days and figured he'd get his bag at that time. He probably did not realize that the clothes smelled so bad, and he had put them in a plastic bag. So, I don't think Alex did anything wrong there. The friend also knew Alex would be there in a few days. The friend could have taken the gym bag out of the car and stowed it outside or in the garage. It was absolutely wrong to throw out another person's possessions. Moving forward, Alex got reimbursed for his loss. I don't get the impression that anything had happened in the past to make Alex feel that the friend was not trustworthy. I can see being upset that the friend threw out the clothes, but he paid for them. As far as not saying sorry, he pretty much did that by paying for the stuff.

So, Alex, I don't think you did anything wrong by leaving your bag, we all forget things. I do think your friend screwed up by throwing out your stuff. I think that he apologized by paying for it. And, I think you should not be taking this as a trust issue. You're friends, the clothes are not that important. Let him in your house, I don't think he'll do anything deliberate to hurt you or your things. And, FTR, I don't think your friend is a sociopath or any 'path. I think he used poor judgement. We all do sometimes.

[antmanb]

Hhhmmmm. Sounds like I've read these words somewhere recently .

I thought the same thing, has AF outed their pseud?!

[sk8er1964]

I thought the same thing, has AF outed their pseud?!

I had the same thought.