Names You Will NEVER Give Your Children

[gkelly]

There are plenty of names that are perfectly normal and acceptable for other people to name their kids but that I would never use because they're associated with religions I don't belong to. E.g., I would never name my child Christina or Muhammed. Or even something like Veronica or Madeleine.

Nor would I name a child Mark, etc., after my mother Marcia -- I wouldn't want to celebrate war (Mars). On the other hand, I would consider naming a son Dmitri.

[Jenny]

I know a kid named McKenna, and I'm guessing it's a family name. Problem is, the kid is a boy (is it just me, or is that not one's first guess?), with long blonde hair and quite cute. I'm sure when he gets to school age everyone is going to think he's a girl.

[Twilight1]

Moses or Apple. No offense Gwenyth Paltrow

[loulou]

La-a. Pronounced Ladasha. Really. The mother was upset with the school staff for not being able to pronounce it.

Did you tell her missing consonants were making the job harder?

Lolita is a beautiful name that I would never feel comfortable using, though I wish it didn't have that connotation.

It's not one of my absolute favourites, but Lolita is indeed a pretty nice name. Was it at the beginning of the book (sorry, I read it a long time ago) that Nabokov said - I googled it:

Lo-lee-ta: the tip of the tongue taking a trip of three steps down the palate to tap, at three, on the teeth. Lo. Lee. Ta

I was in some highschool with brother and sister Sun Ra and Tantra. I was once introduced with brother and sister Blue and Strawberry.

[liv]

I think names are ridiculous if they have apostrophes in them. Those are usually used when letters are missing, like in don't for do not... so what is missing in those names? I also dislike names starting with La or Le... like LaShawn... it makes it sound French and not even the French do that unless it's a last name and has a purpose.

[Nan]

The woman I shared a hospital room with when I had my third daughter was very soft spoken, so when the official came in to register her child's name, I don't really know what she said or how she spelled it, but the response from the official was, "Sweetheart, there has to be a vowel in there somewhere."

[TheGirlCanSkate]

The thing about a ' or a - in a name is that the government won't recognize it. My daughter's social security card has it off as well as other legal documents. I knew it going in. The - was to honor my best friend (she has a -) and she rolled her eyes and said WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT TO HER????? Also Gerber won't recognize it - you can get a free silver plated engraved spoon from them and they sent it without the -. So the La-a of the world are really just Laa.

[aliceanne]

Yeah, I've met a La-a too. It baffles me that that must mean that someone heard of someone named La-a and thought, "that's so awesome!" And more than one person, at that...

These are less inflammatory and are actual names, but I hate the names Myrtle, Ethel, and Mildred. I just see a short 80-year-old woman with white hair when I read or hear them and I would never name a child any of those names. I feel similarly about Dolores, but I would also see the Harry Potter character

And then there are pretty names that I could never use. I knew a Peyton once and every person around my parent's age would get a funny look on their face and start talking about how they could never name a child Peyton because of Peyton's Place. Which I haven't seen, so I don't get the reasoning behind it, but I've heard it so many times that I now have it firmly in my mind that I should never name a child Peyton Lolita is a beautiful name that I would never feel comfortable using, though I wish it didn't have that connotation.

Oh I could see Mildred or Edna making a comeback. They were top of the list in the early 20th century, plus they have that ever popular unisex vibe. When I was school age Emily, Sarah, and Ava were considered quite dowdy. Robin, Karen, and Susan were the most popular names. I knew one Emily who always introduced herself by saying "I know, I know Emily reminds you of an old lady with a cat!".

I always thought Dolores was a very dramatic name (Latin for sorrow).

I don't think Agnes or Gertrude have ever gone away. There always seems to be one around.

[danceronice]

The woman I shared a hospital room with when I had my third daughter was very soft spoken, so when the official came in to register her child's name, I don't really know what she said or how she spelled it, but the response from the official was, "Sweetheart, there has to be a vowel in there somewhere."

ROTFL....though technically, if she used Y a lot....

I have used a lot of names I like (Marcus/Mark, Alan, Kevin, Josef/Joszef, Juliet, Elaine, Nadia/Nadezhda) on book characters and would feel odd using them on a child. (And yes, clearly, I prefer old-world names with old-world spellings.) I cannot STAND trendy names, or names that don't include a reasonable amount of vowels. Family tree names are problematic as some of them aren't English-speaker friendly, though I've always liked my great-grandmother's name (Michaelina, usually went by Lena) and the perverse part of me likes Stanislas as it doesn't get more Polish than that (though undoubtedly like my oldest uncle it would end up Anglicized to Stanley.) Also a fan of Abigail, Laura, Mary, and of Ian, Malcolm, John, and Michael. Rebecca is a good one, as I have a good friend named Rebecca.

[gkelly]

The thing about a ' or a - in a name is that the government won't recognize it. My daughter's social security card has it off as well as other legal documents. I knew it going in. The - was to honor my best friend (she has a -) and she rolled her eyes and said WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT TO HER????? Also Gerber won't recognize it - you can get a free silver plated engraved spoon from them and they sent it without the -. So the La-a of the world are really just Laa.

Really? So the government would consider Mary-Kate and Jim-Bob to be MaryKate and JimBob?

[KikiSashaFan]

I don't think Agnes or Gertrude have ever gone away. There always seems to be one around.

I used to work at a job where you had to wear a name tag, and if you forgot yours you had to wear one that said Gertrude. No one ever forgot more than once

[Jenny]

I think names are ridiculous if they have apostrophes in them. Those are usually used when letters are missing, like in don't for do not... so what is missing in those names? I also dislike names starting with La or Le... like LaShawn... it makes it sound French and not even the French do that unless it's a last name and has a purpose.

Actually that one I believe has a reason - as I understand it, the prefix le or la and I think also de is of African origins and means "of god" - thus the popularity among African Americans for names that begin with those letters. Given that it's technically a prefix, marking it with an apostrophe or hyphen makes some sense, rather than as a separate word, which can be confusing for forms and dbases. I think in the past it was usually just blended with the rest of the name, but I can see why it's become popular to highlight it given its meaning.

[cygnus]

I think names are ridiculous if they have apostrophes in them. Those are usually used when letters are missing, like in don't for do not... so what is missing in those names? I also dislike names starting with La or Le... like LaShawn... it makes it sound French and not even the French do that unless it's a last name and has a purpose.

Friends of mine named their daughter L'lyn (pronounced "Ellen"), which is not even the correct use of the apostrophe, as there is no missing letter between the l's. The poor child will have a rough time with her name, as computers often won't reorganize the punctuation, and nobody can pronounce it let alone spell it.

[TheGirlCanSkate]

Mary Kate and Jim Bob. They put in a space. So my daughter would be something like Mary Kate Elise Davenport instead of Mary-Kate Elise Davenport. She goes by Mary-Kate at school, on anything we write out.

[mkats]

I remember we played a basketball team once that had a player on it named God'sGift (his parents were missionaries).

[skatingfan5]

I remember we played a basketball team once that had a player on it named God'sGift (his parents were missionaries).

THey could have saved the poor kid some teasing and just named him Jonathan (which means gift from God), but I suppose they were going for something less subtle.

[Cachoo]

I went to college with a guy named King James Version.

So everyone called him King?

[MacMadame]

Funny, Karen is one of my favorite names, probably because I had two very close childhood friends with that name.

You are lucky. Most of the Karens I know are beetches.

As for the apostrophe, it's not just for missing letters. In other languages it's a glottal stop. And also sometimes just a pause.

[Badams]

A friend of mine was determined to name his child Chinacat Sunflower. Thank GOD they had a boy first, and grew up before the girl came. LOL!

[julieann]

I think the name is Nevaeh, which is heaven spelled backwards. Of course some people can't spell and don't know better, like Oprah was from the bilblical name Orpah. I've seen a Disteny (ouch), Serinety (double ouch).

I love how Oprah was born Orpah and since no one could pronounce it, Oprah is what they called her and she kept it. I doubt most would get it right anyway.

I don't care for the names 'Apple' or 'Free'. I met an Apple tonight and she's Chinese. Chinese people often adopt cute or unusual names for their English name. But this girl, she was cute as an Apple and the name suited her. But you can't count on that when a child is newborn.

I don't think Apple is anymore stupid than Penney or Paige. I just wouldn't name a newborn Bruce or Russell, it works for an adult but not a little baby.

What about the parents who get so lazy they just name their boy 'Guy'?