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  1. #1

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    New York Teen's Suicide b/c of Bullying

    Will It Ever Stop?

    Just makes me sick.

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    In this case the girl jumped in front of classmates. My heart goes out to her struggle but to do it front of others is awful. I witnessed a man jump in front of a subway in Toronto and had flashbacks and anxiety for months. Reading this, just brings me back to that. No kid should have to see that...and that girl should not have been bullied to a place where she felt she had to do that. :-(
    ~I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it.~ (Charles R. Swindoll)

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    Quote Originally Posted by Twilight1 View Post
    In this case the girl jumped in front of classmates. My heart goes out to her struggle but to do it front of others is awful. I witnessed a man jump in front of a subway in Toronto and had flashbacks and anxiety for months. Reading this, just brings me back to that. No kid should have to see that...and that girl should not have been bullied to a place where she felt she had to do that. :-(
    ((Twilight1)) that must have been so traumatic for you, I know I would have anxiety attacks & nightmares if I saw the same thing.

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    I took a look at the article to see if I would find what I thought I would. And I did! Big picture of her, details of what happened to her but no mention of the guys who did it except for the fact they were football players! The rapists get to slither off and pretend it never happened! I do not condone lynch mobs but why are these people never held accountable? We need to shift our focus. Rape and bullying have become our culture.

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    Twilight, I too had the same experience in a TO subway (it was an older woman in my case). BIG HUGS to you ..

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    I asked this in another thread, but what the hell are the parents of these bullies doing wrong? If your kid's a bully, you messed up as a parent. Obnoxiousness as an adult you might be able to explain by "events led the personality to be shaped that way", but if a kid is a total douchebag, that's pretty much on the parents. (Chris Rock had a bit about that, basically saying "If your daughter winds up on the pole, you f**ked up as a dad.")

    Is it a mixture of the self-esteem movement encouraging outrageous egos in kids, and lack of discipline from being your kid's "friend" instead of their parent, combined with social media technology?

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    Quote Originally Posted by susan6 View Post
    Is it a mixture of the self-esteem movement encouraging outrageous egos in kids, and lack of discipline from being your kid's "friend" instead of their parent, combined with social media technology?
    Oh yes, it's definitely whatever parenting style you hate that causes bullying.

    Of course we can't forget to blame the latest technology. Because before social media, no one ever bullied anyone. And everything a kid does until he's 18 is the parents fault as well because parents have total control over their children at all times and kids have no free will of their own, especially teenagers.

    Look, to be serious, all these issues are complex. There isn't one reason kids bully or one parenting style that causes it. I think that's pretty clear from all the posts in all the recent threads about bulling from people who were bullied or did bully. Definitely the structure of school contributes greatly because people who lack control often try to get control in other ways and bullying is a way to exert your control. Plus often times the ones doing it don't realize that's what they are doing. Also bullying takes not just a single bully to start things but a ton of other kids and adults to both keep it going and to contribute. If you have 100 kids torturing another kid, do you really think that every one of them was parented the exact same way and has the exact same problems? That isn't logical. With that many kids contributing, there has to be a complex sociological situation going on with many motives and many types of kids involved.

    Finally, the problem is compounded by the fact that we seem to call any trouble one kid has with other kids bullying. Look at this case... this girl was RAPED. And not just raped, but GANG RAPED. What does that have to do with bullying? Gang raping someone is not "bullying." It's sexual assault and it should bring jail time and to call it bullying is perverse.
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    MacMadame: I was going to say, she wasn't bullied, she was GANG RAPED. That's not stuffing someone in a locker, that's felony sexual assault. There probably aren't any pictures or names of the boys involved because of pending criminal investigations.

    As for jumping in front of her classmates, if it was fellow students who did it and passed the video around, maybe she wanted to make a point. If so, well, honestly, good for her-don't let her classmates off the hook with something neat and far away. Apparently intellectually understanding you can drive someone to suicide doesn't sink in, maybe graphic example will.

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    is there another article because this one doesnt say that she was raped but some posts say she was
    Last edited by my little pony; 10-28-2012 at 10:28 PM.
    I feel like I'm in a dream. But it can't be a dream because there are no boy dancers!

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    She had sex with 4 boys from the football team who taped it and passed the video around
    ~I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it.~ (Charles R. Swindoll)

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    Quote Originally Posted by MacMadame View Post
    Oh yes, it's definitely whatever parenting style you hate that causes bullying.

    Of course we can't forget to blame the latest technology. Because before social media, no one ever bullied anyone. And everything a kid does until he's 18 is the parents fault as well because parents have total control over their children at all times and kids have no free will of their own, especially teenagers.

    Look, to be serious, all these issues are complex. There isn't one reason kids bully or one parenting style that causes it. I think that's pretty clear from all the posts in all the recent threads about bulling from people who were bullied or did bully. Definitely the structure of school contributes greatly because people who lack control often try to get control in other ways and bullying is a way to exert your control. Plus often times the ones doing it don't realize that's what they are doing. Also bullying takes not just a single bully to start things but a ton of other kids and adults to both keep it going and to contribute. If you have 100 kids torturing another kid, do you really think that every one of them was parented the exact same way and has the exact same problems? That isn't logical. With that many kids contributing, there has to be a complex sociological situation going on with many motives and many types of kids involved.

    Finally, the problem is compounded by the fact that we seem to call any trouble one kid has with other kids bullying. Look at this case... this girl was RAPED. And not just raped, but GANG RAPED. What does that have to do with bullying? Gang raping someone is not "bullying." It's sexual assault and it should bring jail time and to call it bullying is perverse.
    Well said!

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    Quote Originally Posted by MacMadame View Post
    Oh yes, it's definitely whatever parenting style you hate that causes bullying.

    Of course we can't forget to blame the latest technology. Because before social media, no one ever bullied anyone. And everything a kid does until he's 18 is the parents fault as well because parents have total control over their children at all times and kids have no free will of their own, especially teenagers.

    Look, to be serious, all these issues are complex. There isn't one reason kids bully or one parenting style that causes it. I think that's pretty clear from all the posts in all the recent threads about bulling from people who were bullied or did bully. Definitely the structure of school contributes greatly because people who lack control often try to get control in other ways and bullying is a way to exert your control. Plus often times the ones doing it don't realize that's what they are doing. Also bullying takes not just a single bully to start things but a ton of other kids and adults to both keep it going and to contribute. If you have 100 kids torturing another kid, do you really think that every one of them was parented the exact same way and has the exact same problems? That isn't logical. With that many kids contributing, there has to be a complex sociological situation going on with many motives and many types of kids involved.

    Finally, the problem is compounded by the fact that we seem to call any trouble one kid has with other kids bullying. Look at this case... this girl was RAPED. And not just raped, but GANG RAPED. What does that have to do with bullying? Gang raping someone is not "bullying." It's sexual assault and it should bring jail time and to call it bullying is perverse.
    Well said indeed.

    I was teased/bullied. In primary school. Nothing on this scale, I was just the awkward, bookish girl with a temper people picked on.
    While the worst bullies often had non involved parents, other issues at school (such as compensating for being less book smart), many were normal, good kids with good parents.
    My best friend was a guy, and while he didn't contribute, he didn't stop people - you were not friends with a girl, and other silly stuff.
    Then there was another girl who suddenly was picked on, and even though I regretted it, I joined in - nice not to be the target. She was a different disposition than me, and transferred schools. I felt so bad, but I learned a valuable lesson.

    This case is obviously terrible, and involving older kids and sex - but I think people's general herd mentality play a factor. I honestly see it in office environment too - while it is not bullying, it is was easier to agree that so and so's communication style is annoying, and he asks too many stupid questions. And then people look strange at you when he does something smart and useful and you call it out the next time some one complains about him.
    'Office gossip' I guess it is.

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    http://www.nydailynews.com/new-york/...icle-1.1191808

    That doesn't read like she was raped. If she was, it should be on record, shouldn't it?

    That said, it doesn't change anything about the fact that the guys wouldn't leave her alone afterwards, taped it apparently without her consent and distributed it! The guys definitely need to pay for it.

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    Quote Originally Posted by ballettmaus View Post
    http://www.nydailynews.com/new-york/...icle-1.1191808

    That doesn't read like she was raped. If she was, it should be on record, shouldn't it?

    That said, it doesn't change anything about the fact that the guys wouldn't leave her alone afterwards, taped it apparently without her consent and distributed it! The guys definitely need to pay for it.
    Similar in nature to the case of Tyler Clementi, a gay student at Rutgers. He was unknowingly video taped by his roommate, the tape gets passed around and he commits suicide. Ravi, the roommate is convicted and given 30 days. This was done under NJ's hate crimes law. I wonder if NY will attempt to prosecute any of the football players, though not under a hate crimes definition.

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    Quote Originally Posted by skipaway View Post
    Similar in nature to the case of Tyler Clementi, a gay student at Rutgers. He was unknowingly video taped by his roommate, the tape gets passed around and he commits suicide. Ravi, the roommate is convicted and given 30 days. This was done under NJ's hate crimes law. I wonder if NY will attempt to prosecute any of the football players, though not under a hate crimes definition.
    Clementi was not taped, he was spied on.
    3539 and counting.

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  16. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by Scrufflet View Post
    The rapists get to slither off and pretend it never happened!
    Quote Originally Posted by MacMadame View Post
    Look at this case... this girl was RAPED.
    Quote Originally Posted by danceronice View Post
    ...I was going to say, she wasn't bullied, she was GANG RAPED. That's not stuffing someone in a locker, that's felony sexual assault.
    I read the linked article of the original poster's and did not see mention of rape. Why have three people posted that Felicia Garcia was raped?
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    I think some people are saying that Felicia was raped is because she was 15 and the guys she had sex with were 17? Maybe under the law it's defined as rape when the guys are considered adult and the girl was under-aged?

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    Sex with a person between the ages of 15 and 17 is a misdemeanor in New York City, if the perpetrator is at least 16, which I believe all of the football players were. So they all committed a misdemeanor.

    It seems like every time something like this pops up, people get confused. Wiki actually has a very thorough article explaining each state's age of consent laws.

    Additionally, if they really did tape the act and distribute the tape, they could all ostensibly be slapped with a child pornography charge. I don't know the specifics of that.

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    The article I read talked about her being forced to have sex. It seems other articles say something else. So maybe she wasn't gang raped. If those articles are true, it seems more like she was "slut shamed". IOW, the guys got a pat on the back for being players while she was given a hard time for being a "slut" even though they all did the same thing -- have some sort of group sex with multiple partners.

    I think this is a slightly different problem than traditional bullying but given that sometimes girls are slut shamed when they are virgins (i.e., people spread lies about them), I can see why some would consider it a type of bullying, maybe a sub-genre.
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    The double standard set between men/ women really peeves me off. If a guy slept with 4 girls in a night and it was recorded he would be a hero but because it is a girl she is a slut. Gawd that irks me.

    Victim blaming also pisses me off. Those 4 guys are murderers and they probably think it is a big joke.

    Disgusting beyond words.
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