Father Pickets School Over His Son's "Bullying"

[AragornElessar]

Yahoo ~ Texas Father Pickets School Over Son's Alleged "Bullying"

The quotation marks are mine, as I *hate* the term, because "bullying" isn't what's going on in our schools. Physical, Emotional and Psychological Abuse is what's going on and I believe if we used the proper terms, then perhaps we might finally make some headway. The word "Bullying" IMO is nothing but a cover up word to use in order not to face reality.

To say I went through Hell and still to this day trying to deal w/the long term effects is an understatement. I can't even imagine what the kids today are dealing w/thanks to the Social Media explosion.

Good on this Dad for supporting his son and picketing this school. I can't even think how worse this must be for him, having come back from serving in Afghanistan/Iraq and seeing what he's seen and then this happening?

From the sound of things, it was well known and had been going on for years, but when Max finally had enough *he's* the one who gets punished. Yeah, that makes perfect sense and teaches our kids just so much.

Anyway...Just thought I'd post this to see what others think.

[Alex Forrest]

It's funny you would start this thread. I just watched (like three days ago) this movie called "Cyberbully". It was of course an over the top, operatic, nonsensical afterschool special on so-called bullying. You can find it on Youtube.

Remember the Judy Blume book "Blubber"? Awful. I'm glad Judy tackled the subject of bullying.

There IS a difference to being picked on, and being bullied, IMO. Which is why that flick "Cyberbully" angered me so much. But whatever, you grow up, you succeed, you win.

[orbitz]

The term bullying is so overused now that it's often difficult now to tell what is considered bullying anymore. The boy was supposedly bullied by the same kid for several years. What had the teachers or the father done during those years to address the bullying?

[luenatic]

I just watched "That's what I Am" last night. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1606180/plotsummary Bullying drives me nuts!

[PeterG]

I'm always when a big (and important) part of the story is missing. One would assume over the course of the three years of bullying, the student and/or his parents would have been in contact with school administrators about what was happening. But this report makes it sound like a student was picked on for three years and then snapped (and nothing else happened). It ends up being a story that does not make sense (which makes it harder to take seriously...)

[judiz]

I'm always when a big (and important) part of the story is missing. One would assume over the course of the three years of bullying, the student and/or his parents would have been in contact with school administrators about what was happening. But this report makes it sound like a student was picked on for three years and then snapped (and nothing else happened). It ends up being a story that does not make sense (which makes it harder to take seriously...)

Maybe the student never told anyone he was being bullied out of fear that "tattling" make it worse. I was bullied constantly in school (I had a speech impediment, I was shy and I was ugly). I didn't tell my mom about the bullying and teasing until last year when she ran into one of my former classmates and couldn't stop talking about how sweet he was. (I'm 50 years old). Not every kid has the Cosby family where they can tell anything and it will instantly get better.

[AragornElessar]

And not every school will do anything either. I went through Hell my entire Public and High School career. Including the tip of the iceberg, which was overhearing this one group of kids plotting on the best way to get the right angles when they pushed me down the stairs so I'd break my neck. Since due to my visual impairment, no periphal vision, I'd never see them coming after all, so it was the perfect way to get rid of me forever.

The Principal's reaction? To keep smiling and being the positive person I am and everything would be just fine. My Mom finally had to go to the Head of the Board of Education to finally get something done, and even that wasn't much thanks to this bastard. He made sure of that.

This after I forget how many shoves into lockers and down the stairs I had to endure over the years. Not even allowing me to leave five minutes early helped, because only a very few of the teachers would allow it. I even once had to go through a "Now Honey, is Mom or Dad hurting you at home?" "talk" w/an ER Nurse because one of these encounters had left me w/such a badly twisted ankle, we needed to make sure it hadn't been broken. When I took off my pants in order for the X Ray to be done, the amount of brusing on my legs set alarm bells off. Rightfully so I might add.

However, when I said Mom and Dad would never hurt me, but it was the kids at School who were, she brushed it off. It was "Oh, you're being picked on. It happens to everyone." and that was the end of that.

I had to watch my Dad break down at our kitchen sink crying and saying that *he* couldn't take it anymore after I'd come home from yet another day of Hell School. Try living w/that memory and the guilt that goes w/it

Just what can the parents/a parent do when the people in charge won't do a thing? So don't automatically "assume" a piece of the story's missing because you doubt the story of the parent when the School "says" they did all they could to resolve the situation. What else are they going to say when something like this hits the Media? Of course they're going to say the parent was wrong/we did all we could to resolve the situation even if they didn't.

I'll say it again, until we start calling what's happening by it's proper term, abuse, I doubt anything will ever be done.

[PeterG]

So don't automatically "assume" a piece of the story's missing because you doubt the story of the parent when the School "says" they did all they could to resolve the situation.

I'm not assuming anything or doubting anyone. I'm saying the news story was faulty in that it should have said that the child/family reported the abuse to the school on a regular basis or that part of the abuse of the child was that if he told school officials or his family what was happening...then the bullies would do something that scared him into silence.

I was bullied in school as well. I was burned with scalding hot lamps used in science class, kicked in the head, shoved into lockers, had my personal belongings taken/torn apart/thrown down the hallway and teased by both students and teachers about my gender/sexuality. School staff were either pretty useless or were abusers themselves. My Dad's reaction was to get me to lift weights. My Mom did some stuff, but taking action seemed useless on my part so I just got used to taking it.

[Alex Forrest]

Though I retched at the Cyberbully flick, I think it did bring awareness to a problem. Nowadays this issue is taken seriously. I don't think a parent should contact the student's counselor or principal or superintendent. I think their legal counsel should. That would stop the bullying during school hours STAT. Without a doubt.

This is a FS board. I would assume many members are gay and were tortured in school for it. At least now, GET A LAWYER, it will stop. You will win.

And PeterG, you have had gender issues? I volunteer at the GLBT clinic. And yet you repeatedly try to denigrate me on this forum? Don't worry, I'm strong and now understand your issues. Just stop trying to denigrate me here, mmkay? I'd help you in a second, so stop insulting me. You are better than that. It's like the bullied finding someone else to bully. Sick stuff. God bless.

ETA: Here is the Lifetime idea of 'cyberbullying'. Notice how the gay student offers her compassion and says he's been cyberbullied himself, being called fag, fruit, homo. And all the girl says is "But you're gay". Her pain at being called a slut online even though she's a virgin just is so much worse. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bKrUvahMz1w

[PeterG]

I have sent you a private message, Alex.

[MacMadame]

Though I retched at the Cyberbully flick, I think it did bring awareness to a problem. Nowadays this issue is taken seriously. I don't think a parent should contact the student's counselor or principal or superintendent. I think their legal counsel should. That would stop the bullying during school hours STAT. Without a doubt.

Well I doubt. A lot.

[Mayra]

Like MacMadame, I have my doubts as well.

I was just reading that Amanada Todd the Canadian teenager who posted a youtube video chronicling her bullying experience, has committed suicide. This is just so heartbreaking to me.

[Twilight1]

Bullies will bully whether at school or elsewhere. Bullied students will get cornered if the people are relentless enough.

Amanda Todd is the latest tragedy. She flashed her boobs online 3 years ago and the slimeball who got a pic followed her to 3 schools to spread the picture around. She was atrosized and beaten up to the point she finally hung herself.

I hope they find the sadistic jerk who started this.

[Really]

I hope they find the sadistic jerk who started this.

What can be done to him? He shared a digital image she freely gave. Morally and ethically, he's a slimeball, but there was nothing illegal in sharing the image, unless they can get him for child porn. I would hope the cretins who encouraged her to kill herself could be held accountable, and the ones who beat her up and posted the video.

I continually stress to my students that once they put things out 'there,' they have no way of getting it back. None, zip, no how, no way. They are their own first line of defense when it comes to their digital footprint, whether it's on a computer or on their cellphones.

Like Amanda's parents, I hope people use her tragic story as a lesson for young people on several fronts: a) the devastating impact of bullying; and b) the importance of being prudent in what they put online. Unfortunately, schools can only control what happens in school, during school hours. I know of schools that *have* disciplined students who bullied others via texting or Facebook, but only when it was proven the bullying took place during the school day. Parents also have to take control of what their children are doing online -- the schools can't do it alone, and can't be held responsible for what students do outside of school hours, away from the building.

It takes a village to raise a child, and the village has to take collective responsibility for the wellbeing of ALL the children, ALL the time.

[Twilight1]

They can get him for child pornography. Amanda was in grade 7 or 8 when she flashed her boobs. He distributed it. He also cyber stalked her and all because she wouldn't give him a show when he tried to bribe her with the photo he had of her.

[Really]

Then I hope they get him -- and all the others. I just read an article on my RSS news feed that says the RCMP are now investigating what happened online before her death. I'm hoping they'll be able to do something with it.

In the meantime, parents, PLEASE talk to your kids about their online presence and the potential ramifications of sharing too much. Please. One Amanda Todd is one too many.

[TheGirlCanSkate]

Poor kid.

I do hope that the person who threatened her in the first place has legal issues and is not a minor so his name doesn't stay anonymous.

I am sure that there will always be bullies, but I do hope more technology ethics classes become more mainstream so kids can have a better understanding of what they are doing.

My little one likes to use online artwork sharing, it was very hard for me to get her to understand that the person on the other end could be nothing like who they say they are and it's not worth the risk. And I don't think she understands it more than "going to that website makes mom worried that I'm not safe."

[milanessa]

I'm incredibly thankful that my kids were not adolescents or teenagers when the internet became so ubiquitous. Not so much about my son, he's a pretty private person and ponders a lot about things before he acts but my daughter is impulsive and considered herself a "free spirit". I could see her having got caught up in something.

[aliceanne]

Then I hope they get him -- and all the others. I just read an article on my RSS news feed that says the RCMP are now investigating what happened online before her death. I'm hoping they'll be able to do something with it.

In the meantime, parents, PLEASE talk to your kids about their online presence and the potential ramifications of sharing too much. Please. One Amanda Todd is one too many.

I'm not sure what anyone can do to protect their online presence. Anyone with a cellphone can take a picture of you and post it online. Even if you never post about yourself on Facebook your friends and relatives do. My cousins are into genealogy and post all sorts of misinformation on the Family Tree website. I notice some people posting full names, place and date of birth for living as well as deceased relatives on this site. My employer posts my work address, phone, and email on their website. With the DMV and universities selling your home address to marketers it isn't hard for a robot on one of these "find a person" sites to scan the Internet and put it all together.

[milanessa]

But most of these stories involve sexting. Does your workplace put your boobs front and center, aliceanne?