Just need somewhere to talk today. Life has been pretty difficult for the last year and a half. My mom was diagnosed with a very aggressive form of cancer and died six months to the day later. Her illness was tragic and terrible. The one year anniversary of her death is approaching. My father has not coped well and it's created much grief and strained relationships in my family. I planned a beautiful trip to Italy with a friend (was supposed to be there now), but the trip was cancelled because my friend's mom was diagnosed with lung cancer. Good think the trip was cancelled, because I have since made a trip to emergency and I'm waiting to have my gallbladder removed (no doubt, I'm quite sure stress is a contributing factor). I'm stressed about surgery and struggling day to day -- with pain and dealing with the fact that I can't eat any fat or spicy foods (no alcohol, no opportunity to go out with friends for a meal). And, yesterday I learned that a friend (not one of my best friends, but still a very beautiful person) passed away while on holiday with her husband in Europe. It is thought to be an accidental drowning but there are more questions than answers at this point. I'm just home from my best friends house (who was closer to the woman who died than I was), and she is in rough shape. She helped to care for the children yesterday after they learned of their mother's death. An unthinkable tragedy.
With the exception of my beautiful niece and nephew who are the joys of my life, when I look around all I see is stress, grief, and loss. It's been so long since I have really felt more than brief moments of happiness. It feels like life is never going to be good again -- I joke that I have a dark cloud that is following me around. I don't want to be self-centred, because that's not who I am. I know it could always be worse and everyone has things in life that they struggle with, but life has not been kind this year.
I've been working really hard to take care of myself -- I've been to see a counsellor, I've been exercising, eating well, sleeping regularly, talking with friends, doing things I enjoy, etc... But, I'm so tired. I feel like I want to crawl into bed and pull the covers over my head for a little while.
Anyone have any words of comfort or strength today. Any words of advice to help during these dark days...