Michelle Kwan is engaged!!

[FiveRinger]

For those who were claiming how "business like" and non lovey-dovey the announcement of Michelle's engagement was, here's something from PEOPLE that would seem to contradict their view:Love at first sight and magnetic connections would seem to be the antithesis of business-like.

Ice Alisa was right....Vera Wang it is!

[skatesindreams]

I saw that earlier.
I'm sure that whatever Vera/Michelle decide, Michelle will be a beautiful bride.

[sk9tingfan]

Ice Alisa was right....Vera Wang it is!

Was there ever any doubt about this? I can still remember all of the women at the 2003 US Figure Skating Championship literally hanging over the boards to see how Michelle's short program costume was designed.

[DreamSkates]

Congrats to Michelle. My goodness, she's 32 "already". Of course she would marry someone with high accomplishment - equals out the relationship! She probably wouldn't find a man interesting who hadn't accomplished much - he has to keep up with the Kween of course.

[ballettmaus]

Congrats to Michelle. My goodness, she's 32 "already". Of course she would marry someone with high accomplishment - equals out the relationship! She probably wouldn't find a man interesting who hadn't accomplished much - he has to keep up with the Kween of course.

That sounds very narrow minded and I truly doubt she fell for him because he was accomplished. He could probably have waited tables in a diner if the personality and character were right. There are far more important things in life than accomplishments; he needs to be trustworthy and worthy of her love and he can be that whoever he is and whatever he accomplished and she always struck me as someone who doesn't look for obvious but inner values. Which I find far more important anyway.

[Anita18]

That sounds very narrow minded and I truly doubt she fell for him because he was accomplished. He could probably have waited tables in a diner if the personality and character were right. There are far more important things in life than accomplishments; he needs to be trustworthy and worthy of her love and he can be that whoever he is and whatever he accomplished and she always struck me as someone who doesn't look for obvious but inner values. Which I find far more important anyway.

DreamSkates probably worded it the most awkward way possible, but every ambitious person I know also desires a partner who is as ambitious as they are. It's not accomplishments on paper, but ambition. I find that in all of my friends and relatives, every couple matches the other in ambition level. If not, the less ambitious partner is the trophy spouse and it's not an equal partnership. It's certainly not impossible to find someone as ambitious as you are, who's also trustworthy and considerate and worthy of love. Love encompasses all of those things.

For someone like Michelle, I simply don't think a waiter who spent his free time playing video games would catch her attention, as kind-hearted as they might be. Anyone who believes otherwise is living in a fairy tale.

[Frau Muller]

Michelle's sister, Karen, certainly fell in love with a guy with ALL possible qualities, Peter O: accomplished and handsome! The Kwan Sisters have done very well for themselves! I'm sure that Danny approves, too.

[orbitz]

For someone like Michelle, I simply don't think a waiter who spent his free time playing video games would catch her attention, as kind-hearted as they might be. Anyone who believes otherwise is living in a fairy tale.

What about a waiter who spend his free time raising money and awareness to combat homelessness in America ... AND plays guitar and sings ... AND used to be a nationally ranked skater ... AND plan to attend Harvard medical school?

[luenatic]

What about a waiter who spend his free time raising money and awareness to combat homelessness in America ... AND plays guitar and sings ... AND used to be a nationally ranked skater ... AND plan to attend Harvard medical school?

UMBS Go Blue, are you reading?

[skatingfan5]

What about a waiter who spend his free time raising money and awareness to combat homelessness in America ... AND plays guitar and sings ... AND used to be a nationally ranked skater ... AND plan to attend Harvard medical school?

That certainly sounds like someone who is both accomplished AND very ambitious. The job waiting tables is probably just to earn some money for med school -- if he's personable and good-looking he could earn very generous tips.

[Anita18]

What about a waiter who spend his free time raising money and awareness to combat homelessness in America ... AND plays guitar and sings ... AND used to be a nationally ranked skater ... AND plan to attend Harvard medical school?

Sounds ambitious to me.

[MacMadame]

DreamSkates probably worded it the most awkward way possible, but every ambitious person I know also desires a partner who is as ambitious as they are.

You need to broaden your friendship pool. There are plenty of ambitious people who don't want a spouse as ambitious as them because then the relationship has two alpha dogs. They want someone who complements them in the relationship rather than competes with them.

[luenatic]

You need to broaden your friendship pool. There are plenty of ambitious people who don't want a spouse as ambitious as them because then the relationship has two alpha dogs. They want someone who complements them in the relationship rather than competes with them.

Like Cher and Rob Camilletti (who worked in a bagel shop)?

[skatingfan5]

Like Cher and Rob Camilletti (who worked in a bagel shop)?

Like Liz Taylor and Larry Fortensky? Married at Neverland Ranch ... why oh why did that marriage never last?

[MacMadame]

Liz Taylor was also married to Richard Burton (twice!) who was as ambitious as she was. So clearly she has something else going on when it comes to why she didn't stay married.

[Same with Cher who was married to Sonny Bono who was clearly ambitious.]

I was thinking more like a hot-shot Silicon Valley tech type who worked 60-80 hour weeks on a regular basis married to someone with a 9-5 job that is just a job and not a career. Or maybe married to a SAHM or SAHD.

[In fact, I'd say an ambitious career man married to a SAHM is more the norm than two ambitious career people married to each other. How ambitious the SAHM is about things outside a career varies, but the happy ones seem to be more dialed down than the super ambitious are.]

[Anita18]

You need to broaden your friendship pool. There are plenty of ambitious people who don't want a spouse as ambitious as them because then the relationship has two alpha dogs. They want someone who complements them in the relationship rather than competes with them.

It works when they're not working in the same field. And of course two true-blue alphas will probably spend more time fighting than getting along. There are always periods when one spouse is in the spotlight more than the other, and they'd have to be okay with that. (This is where many celebrity marriages fail, I bet.) I was not surprised when Hillary Clinton decided to stay with Bill, for one. They are both incredibly intelligent, ambitious people, but both are fine with the other being in the spotlight.

I do have relatives who are divorced, that are both doctors. She cared more about her career than the kids. In that case, I don't think it was necessarily her ambition per se, but her prioritizing her career ambition over her family. Most of all, they disagreed over how to raise the children.

I do think the equally-ambitious couples are definitely more common among the younger generation, the ones that are fine with bucking the traditional career-husband-with-SAHM marriage.

[PDilemma]

I do think the equally-ambitious couples are definitely more common among the younger generation, the ones that are fine with bucking the traditional career-husband-with-SAHM marriage.

The degree to which a "career-husband-with-SAHM" is traditional is highly debatable. Contrary to the popular notion that every household was like the Cleavers until some random undefined point in the "60s", throughout history, women worked. Women worked alongside their husbands to run farms and family businesses, worked on estates just like men in medieval/feudal times, and worked in factories in large numbers (and at lower wages than men) during and after the industrial revolution.

And in my "older generation," I know exactly ONE couple that could be described as "career-husband-with-SAHM". I know several couples in which the wife makes a larger salary than the husband. One friend is cutting her work hours by 20% to have one extra day a week with her children soon and will still make a higher salary than her husband. I also can't think of too many of my peers whose mothers did not work for all or most of their childhoods in the 1970s and 1980s--hardly women of your generation.

[Anita18]

The degree to which a "career-husband-with-SAHM" is traditional is highly debatable. Contrary to the popular notion that every household was like the Cleavers until some random undefined point in the "60s", throughout history, women worked. Women worked alongside their husbands to run farms and family businesses, worked on estates just like men in medieval/feudal times, and worked in factories in large numbers (and at lower wages than men) during and after the industrial revolution.

And in my "older generation," I know exactly ONE couple that could be described as "career-husband-with-SAHM". I know several couples in which the wife makes a larger salary than the husband. One friend is cutting her work hours by 20% to have one extra day a week with her children soon and will still make a higher salary than her husband. I also can't think of too many of my peers whose mothers did not work for all or most of their childhoods in the 1970s and 1980s--hardly women of your generation.

I know couples like you describe. My mom is close friends with a lady in her 50s who works next to her husband on a farm. All hands on deck with a life like that!

Even so, many still think it's traditional and are still raised with that thinking. I have a friend whose husband won't support her dreams of going back to school. Her job is to stay home and clean and cook and take care of the children. It's bad enough in his eyes that she's working at all. They're both in their early 30s.

[VIETgrlTerifa]

I'm with Kwan and Anita. I need a guy to have some ambitions in life. I just find that it's harder to make it work and have someone who's willing to truly understand you unless he shares the goals you have. The opposite may work for people who don't want to be "defined" by their careers or overall life goals, but that's not me. Plus, it's not about money or status but just goals. I know people who have taken "traditional" higher paths who are with people who aren't as "accomplished" but they share a common value system and goal. They just went about achieving those things in different ways and they compliment each other. However, if one has certain ambitions then I can see them not wanting to be with someone who doesn't. Being a good and nice person just isn't enough for some people because there are a lot of people like that who are just content. That's fine, but not everyone wants that.

Obviously, Kwan wanted someone who shared similar goals as her and it steered in the direction of public diplomacy and international sevice among many other things. Kwan wouldn't have studied international relations and taken on jobs with the state department if she wasn't interested in that and I think it's quite obvious that Mr. Pell complimented her in that aspect. Lucky for her, everything else also fit into place.

[Frau Muller]

, ....Kwan wouldn't have studied international relations and taken on jobs with the state department if .....

Oh, does Michelle now have a job at the State Dept? She does guest p.r. gigs for the White House, for Mrs Obama's 'get fit' initiative. Before, she was a 'goodwill ambassador' under Condoleeza Rice, even before she studied Int'l Diplomacy. I don't recall reading that she now has a job in the State Dept, which would entail having to pass the For Service Officer exam (or being a political appointee).

p.s. Of course, she can -- on her own merits or through Clay Pell -- maybe nab a nice potical appointment at a cushy Mission (not in the Middle East just yet, please!) She can just bypass the exam! She is DA KWEEN!!!