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  1. #381
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    OK, here goes, michiru:
    ...AND NOW OUR NEXT CONTENDER FOR MISS ATLANTIC CITY ICE Capades 1995 here at the fan-tas-tic new Trump Hotel & Casino, Atlantic City. New Jersey, ladiez 'n' gentlemen here is a little-girl skater who is truly little no word but exquisite! angelic! fan-tas-tic! there is a gasp from the audience what a luscious site: platinum-blond cotton-candy hair cascading in curls she's wearing a black-lace Spanish veil mantilla d'you call it? qui-ite a dramatic costume for a five-year old on the most eye-catching of this fan-tas-tic evening the audience is truly appreciative! this little skater is a real pro left shoulder daringly bared tight black sequined bodice black taffeta skirt very very short black lace matching panties peeking out beneath black eyelet stockings and sexy bleack leather high-top skates like boots with crimson applique roses!

    Look at those skate-blades flash this little girl is skating/dancing to the pulse quickening Latin beat "Begin the Bequine" applause for MISS BLISS RAMPIKE of Fair Hills, New Jersey... then follow her titles earned in 1994 and 1995, etc. and back to the skater [look at those graceful glides Miss Bliss is positively angelic the crowd adores her ah! a near-perfect spin triple figure-eights and is it a jump spin? and Miss Bliss Rampike has executed the tricky maneuver bravely this might be the highlight so far of our evening here at Trump Hotel & Casino the audience is at the edge of their seats fierce competition for the gold trophy $5,000 prize, photo and resume on all Trump Hotel& Casino promotional materials for a solid year The Don himself is rumored to be in the audience in-cog-nit-o

    could be, ladiez 'n' gentlemen we have here a future Olympic gold medalist a future Sonja Henie....ooops spoke too soon did I just a wee falter a moment's hesitation quickly the skater has recovered from wobbling now spinning on two skates without wobbling now a traveling spin hold your breath ladiez 'n' gentlemen this can be tricky judges are taking note judges are impressed judges will factor in the difficulty of these maneuvers in their scoring now is it? a flying spin such a sweet smile! but the mantilla seems to be slipping from Bliss' head who looks like a--jump spin--executed a little uncertainly is Bliss favoring her left ankle? rumors of a previous injury to that ankle this is a brave little girl....matilla is on the ice lets hope Bliss's skates don't get tangled in the gosh-darn thing now a flying spin no hesitating wincing when she lands on her left skate....a second flying leap...
    I think I've had enough. Not responsible for the syntax, btw.

    I assume "flying spin" is a flying camel. And a figure 8. I thought there were done with figures by then. I am guessing the "flying leap" may be the split falling leaf of Kwan's fame. I can't figure out what a jump spin is, why a traveling spin is a good thing and why a skater would wear black lace panties under her dress. On another occasion Bliss wore white lace panties. I see how it suits JCO's purpose as an example of sexualization of young children but it would have helped to be a bit more realistic. There's enough icky stuff going on in figure skating to feed her stories.
    Last edited by IceAlisa; 11-16-2012 at 07:01 AM.
    "Nature is a damp, inconvenient sort of place where birds and animals wander about uncooked."

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  2. #382

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    Quote Originally Posted by IceAlisa View Post
    OK, here goes, michiru:
    ...AND NOW OUR NEXT CONTENDER FOR MISS ATLANTIC CITY ICE Capades 1995 here at the fan-tas-tic new Trump Hotel & Casino, Atlantic City. New Jersey, ladiez 'n' gentlemen here is a little-girl skater who is truly little no word but exquisite! angelic! fan-tas-tic! there is a gasp from the audience what a luscious site: platinum-blond cotton-candy hair cascading in curls she's wearing a black-lace Spanish veil mantilla d'you call it? qui-ite a dramatic costume for a five-year old on the most eye-catching of this fan-tas-tic evening the audience is truly appreciative! this little skater is a real pro left shoulder daringly bared tight black sequined bodice black taffeta skirt very very short black lace matching panties peeking out beneath black eyelet stockings and sexy bleack leather high-top skates like boots with crimson applique roses!*

    Look at those skate-blades flash this little girl is skating/dancing to the pulse quickening Latin beat "Begin the Bequine" applause for MISS BLISS RAMPIKE of Fair Hills, New Jersey... then follow her titles earned in 1994 and 1995, etc. and back to the skater [look at those graceful glides Miss Bliss is positively angelic the crowd adores her ah! a near-perfect spin triple figure-eights and is it a jump spin? and Miss Bliss Rampike has executed the tricky maneuver bravely this might be the highlight so far of our evening here at Trump Hotel & Casino the audience is at the edge of their seats fierce competition for the gold trophy $5,000 prize, photo and resume on all Trump Hotel& Casino promotional materials for a solid year The Don himself is rumored to be in the audience in-cog-nit-o*

    could be, ladiez 'n' gentlemen we have here a future Olympic gold medalist a future Sonja Henie....ooops spoke too soon did I just a wee falter a moment's hesitation quickly the skater has recovered from wobbling now spinning on two skates without wobbling now a traveling spin hold your breath ladiez 'n' gentlemen this can be tricky judges are taking note judges are impressed judges will factor in the difficulty of these maneuvers in their scoring now is it? a flying spin such a sweet smile! but the mantilla seems to be slipping from Bliss' head who looks like a--jump spin--executed a little uncertainly is Bliss favoring her left ankle? rumors of a previous injury to that ankle this is a brave little girl....matilla is on the ice lets hope Bliss's skates don't get tangled in the gosh-darn thing now a flying spin no hesitating wincing when she lands on her left skate....a second flying leap...
    I think I've had enough. Not responsible for the syntax, btw.

    I assume "flying spin" is a flying camel. And a figure 8. I thought there were done with figures by then. I can't figure out what a jump spin is, why a traveling spin is a good thing and why would a skater wear black lace panties under her dress. On another occasion Bliss wore white lace panties.
    I'm torn between and . I hope the rest of it is better than this, that was just painful and the tone sounds like it's set in the 1940s-50s, which it obviously isn't. I know people gush over JCO, but the few books I've tried by her didn't work for me at all and helped convince me to look to genre fiction. I guess I'm not high-brow enough for the literary stuff.

    Leaving aside the hilariously wrong descriptions of the skating, I have never heard of people so excited by a competition for five year olds (unless it's their parents).

    I see how it suits JCO's purpose as an example of sexualization of young children but it would have helped to be a bit more realistic. There's enough icky stuff going on in figure skating to feed her stories.
    Exactly.

    Thank you for reading this so we won't have to.

  3. #383
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    I actually like her work and this is the typically weird and visceral JCO stuff so far. But she didn't do her due diligence when it comes to skating. And what a treasure trove of inspirational creepy/tragic/sexual/exploitative tales she would have uncovered there to inspire her! She only had to try. We are here.
    "Nature is a damp, inconvenient sort of place where birds and animals wander about uncooked."

    from Speedy Death

  4. #384

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    Lol maybe it served her writing to make up a lot of stuff rather than use real terms. watching some skating and then coming up with your own names for things just to make it yours. But why wouldn't she care to get it right?

  5. #385

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    Quote Originally Posted by IceAlisa View Post
    I actually like her work and this is the typically weird and visceral JCO stuff so far. But she didn't do her due diligence when it comes to skating. And what a treasure trove of inspirational creepy/tragic/sexual/exploitative tales she would have uncovered there to inspire her! She only had to try. We are here.
    I'd have helped even though I dislike her writing

    As I wrote, I mainly read genre fiction and within that, romance. I won't deny there's a lot of poor writing and research in my preferred genre, too, but then the authors don't get the sort of acclaim for their work that literary authors do. And it is certainly possible to find beautifully written romance novels that are based on solid research - at the very least, I can't imagine any of the authors I like writing a description like that.

  6. #386
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    The only reason I can think of is that the commentator was clueless by intention. Remember the movie Best In Show and the clueless guy commentating, saying the most inappropriate, hilarious things while having no idea about the dogs being shown, the show rules, etc, in short was completely out of the loop? And suffering from severe foot-in-mouth disease? Maybe that's the type announcer she had in mind, someone freelancing, not really giving a flutz about skating. Just needed to hype the crowd for all the wrong reasons.

    Or may be she was just feeling lazy.
    "Nature is a damp, inconvenient sort of place where birds and animals wander about uncooked."

    from Speedy Death

  7. #387

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    Quote Originally Posted by IceAlisa View Post
    The only reason I can think of is that the commentator was clueless by intention. Remember the movie Best In Show and the clueless guy commentating, saying the most inappropriate, hilarious things while having no idea about the dogs being shown, the show rules, etc, in short was completely out of the loop? And suffering from severe foot-in-mouth disease? Maybe that's the type announcer she had in mind, someone freelancing, not really giving a flutz about skating. Just needed to hype the crowd for all the wrong reasons.

    Or may be she was just feeling lazy.
    What, at such an important event as Miss Atlantic City Ice Capades 1995?

    The tone of it was just so off; it sounded like something out of Hush Hush Magazine in Ellroy's LA Confidential, over the top and not of the time in which her story is set.

    I suspect your second interpretation is the correct one - if she'd one the research, she'd have known that skating competition =/= beauty pageants, and that skating has its own share of problems, but they are not the same ones. If she wanted to include both stage parents and the sexualization of very young girls, then skating just wasn't the best choice; maybe she should have stuck with the original world of pageants. Though that would have been a bit too literal and unimaginative.

    Of course, being JCO, she can do whatever she wants and plenty of people will still think it's amazing work. I suspect she's well aware of that, and does do whatever she wants. Which can be a good thing, but I don't think it was in this case.

  8. #388
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    Wow, I chuckled a little but mostly I just cringed. It really does sound like 1950 Thanks for taking the time to type it up!

    I would love it if it was meant to be in the style of Best In Show (God, thank you for reminding me of that, I need to go look that up later tonight!), but I also think she was just lazy - or possibly didn't understand whatever research she did do. I don't know. It's just not accurate even a little.

    I love the idea of Donald Trump watched a skating competition for 5-year-olds though. It's so wtf.

  9. #389

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    The writing style alone reminded me why I'd given up on JCO years ago. The skating description, however, is just bad. If I find it in a book sale cheap enough, though, it will go onto my shelf of Bad Skating Fiction, along with the classic "Skates for Marty" and a Nancy Drew mystery set at Nationals that had ladies, men and pairs all warming up on the same ice together just before the competition.
    "You just can't underestimate the power of positive underwear." 2013 Fruit of the Loom ad

  10. #390
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    Quote Originally Posted by Prancer View Post
    Dear Barnes and Noble:

    I received your letter today informing me that my membership discount will no longer apply to Nook Books.
    You got a member discount on ebooks? Are you sure it didn't say the discount on Nook *devices* was ending? Because that is the case in the timeframe you mentioned.

  11. #391

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    Speaking of Nook, José Saramago's Blindness is the Nook Daily deal ($2.99). Definitely a good grab at that price.

  12. #392
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spinner View Post
    You got a member discount on ebooks? Are you sure it didn't say the discount on Nook *devices* was ending? Because that is the case in the timeframe you mentioned.
    D'oh, you are right. And I get my e-book discount from using my credit card.

    I'll just be....over there. Somewhere. Reading quietly.
    Trolling dates all the way back to 397 B.C. - People began following Plato around and would make fart noises after everything he said.

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    Prancer...was...wrong?

    Prancer was wrong.

    That sentence looks odd. I don't like this scary new world.

  14. #394
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    Quote Originally Posted by danceronice View Post
    Get a Latin dictionary. It will make some bits more understandable (you don't NEED them necessarily, but it makes it better.)
    Once upon a time I studied Latin, so I suppose I'm all set on that account.

    Quote Originally Posted by jamesy View Post
    Prancer...was...wrong?

    Prancer was wrong.

    That sentence looks odd. I don't like this scary new world.
    Me neither. The world shook for a moment!

    Fallvatten was a very quick read and a very good one. I'm now reading Gillian Flynn's first book (Sharp Objects), but so far (at about 25%) I'm a bit meh about it.

    I felt a bit sorry for myself yesterday and ordered Cloud Atlas, the newest Laini Taylor book and a hardcover version of Neil Gaiman's Neverwhere (I've pretty much loved my paperback copy to death). I should read Jeannette Winterson's Oranges are not the Only Fruit next, because I borrowed it from a friend who might want it back at some point.

  15. #395

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    Quote Originally Posted by Evilynn View Post
    I'm now reading Gillian Flynn's first book (Sharp Objects), but so far (at about 25%) I'm a bit meh about it.
    I read Sharp Objects a few weeks ago and agree it was a bit meh. There were bits of it I found interesting, some that were a bit too gruesome for my tastes, and I found the ending was all a bit too weird. I bought it in tandem with Dark Places, but haven't been rushing to read that one. I guess it took her a couple of books before she hit her stride with Gone Girl.

    After it was mentioned in the LHOTP thread, I picked up The Wilder Life, which was very good, and that inspired me to go back and re-read some of the Laura Ingalls Wilder biographies that I have, which has been a lot of fun and reminded me of my desire to go visit all of the different LIW houses. Although what impressed me the most about The Wilder Life was that the author's boyfriend (or husband?) was willing to go on all of these adventures with her. That guy's a keeper!

  16. #396
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    Quote Originally Posted by michiruwater View Post
    Wow, I chuckled a little but mostly I just cringed. It really does sound like 1950.
    And yet it's the 1990's and she creates the atmosphere of the 50s pretty relentlessly. Pancake make up--I don't think it was very popular in the 90s. There are other references that seem to be anachronistic: the names Bix, Biffy, Mildred, Trix, Edna Louise, Betsy, etc. Nary a Jennifer. What kind of names are these, JCO? Certainly not the names of the 90s. There were a couple of names she got right like Skyler and Tyler--these were popular back then but they are far and between. It was as if JCO didn't get out much in the 90s and just went by what she knew. But there were a couple of Michelle Kwan mentions so she wasn't that much under the rock after all.

    And what's with her obsession with the lace panties female skaters wear under their costumes. They are not panties and they are certainly not lace. I know why she is doing it but she is just wrong.
    "Nature is a damp, inconvenient sort of place where birds and animals wander about uncooked."

    from Speedy Death

  17. #397

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    Rot & Ruin and Dust and Decay are two pretty awesome zombie novels. And who doesn't love an awesome zombie novel? With the exception of Spinner?

  18. #398
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    Quote Originally Posted by Prancer View Post
    D'oh, you are right. And I get my e-book discount from using my credit card.

    I'll just be....over there. Somewhere. Reading quietly.
    Have some more coffee That said, do you use the B&N Mastercard? If so their 5% back on all B&N purchases is a smart way to roundabout-ly discount ebooks. Never thought of that!

  19. #399
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    Quote Originally Posted by IceAlisa View Post
    And yet it's the 1990's and she creates the atmosphere of the 50s pretty relentlessly. Pancake make up--I don't think it was very popular in the 90s. There are other references that seem to be anachronistic: the names Bix, Biffy, Mildred, Trix, Edna Louise, Betsy, etc. Nary a Jennifer.
    Who named their child Mildred or Edna Louise anytime after 1956??

    Quote Originally Posted by IceAlisa View Post
    But there were a couple of Michelle Kwan mentions so she wasn't that much under the rock after all.
    Didn't you say 1995 though? Was Kwan that big a name already in 1995? I thought 1996 was her breakout year? I was a kid then so I have no memory basis for when Michelle became well-known in first the FS world and then as a household name.

    Quote Originally Posted by IceAlisa View Post
    And what's with her obsession with the lace panties female skaters wear under their costumes. They are not panties and they are certainly not lace. I know why she is doing it but she is just wrong.
    Yeah, that made me feel super awkward. It's not like there aren't enough gender stereotypes in figure skating already that should could have played with

  20. #400
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spinner View Post
    Have some more coffee That said, do you use the B&N Mastercard? If so their 5% back on all B&N purchases is a smart way to roundabout-ly discount ebooks. Never thought of that!
    I do! Plus they send me gift cards regularly, which I use to buy MORE ebooks. .
    Trolling dates all the way back to 397 B.C. - People began following Plato around and would make fart noises after everything he said.

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