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  1. #41

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    I heard about a new one this weekend (and yes, a professional photographer was involved) - a "reveal the sex of the unborn baby party". You get the test done and get the results in a sealed envelope, and give the envelope to a baker. S/he then peeks inside to see if it's a boy or a girl, and then makes a layered cake with pink or blue icing inside, and puts plain white icing over the whole cake.

    Then at the party the expectant mom cuts into the cake and reveals the icing color, everybody oohs and aahs, and eats cake and celebrates. And then sits around choosing possible names for the new arrival.

    A friend of mine actually had to go to one of these, and she thought it was awful. She and I were comparing notes, and neither of us had heard of anything like this before. Is this some new opportunity for brides to get their photos taken yet again, or some kind of plot by the baking and/or photography industries?
    Last edited by overedge; 08-28-2012 at 02:33 AM. Reason: korected speling
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  2. #42

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    As much as I love cake (and would do just about anything to get a really, really good piece of cake) I think the only way you'd get me to go to something like this is if the mom-to-be was near and dear to my heart.
    "Me, cutie/chicken, the egg cup, I am the hammer of my spoon!"--Jen_Faith translation

  3. #43
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    Unbelievable and very sad. That is just so tragic.
    Angie
    “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” ~ Thomas A. Edison

  4. #44
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    A couple of my friends are photographers. A large portion of their business is engagements, which are usually much cheaper than weddings. Apparently for new professional photographers that is the way to establish yourselves. Start with engagements and work your way up to weddings. The photos they showed me are beautiful, but yeah, very cheesy.

    I didn't have any engagement photos taken. Or wedding photos. Heck, I didn't really have a real wedding. But now I am beginning to think I want some professional pictures while I am still young and pretty. I know, very cheesy thought.

    Quote Originally Posted by overedge View Post
    I heard about a new one this weekend (and yes, a professional photographer was involved) - a "reveal the sex of the unborn baby party". You get the test done and get the results in a sealed envelope, and give the envelope to a baker. S/he then peeks inside to see if it's a boy or a girl, and then makes a layered cake with pink or blue icing inside, and puts plain white icing over the whole cake.

    Then at the party the expectant mom cuts into the cake and reveals the icing color, everybody oohs and aahs, and eats cake and celebrates. And then sits around choosing possible names for the new arrival.
    I went to one of those. The couple did it in the silliest way. It was a girl and they decorated everything blue and asked people to "guess" what it was. The only person they managed to trick was their own young daughter, who totally believed she was going to have a baby brother.

  5. #45
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    First let me say that I hate weddings even as a guest. I do find engagement and many wedding and pregnancy, etc. photos tacky (among other things). I think Genevieve's post helped me realize why I hate the whole brouhaha so much, and why I've never dreamed of being a princess at my own ball (aww...). It's just not me.

    Having said that... In defense of the engagement, wedding, pregnancy and even "the morning after" photos, it doesn't really matter how they look to anyone else than the couple in question. Those pictures are for them, for their enjoyment, etc. They may seem tacky to us, self-indulgent (that they should be, no?) or even creepy, but so what? They're not to be hanged in a gallery or studied, they're a keepsake for people who are in it. That's pretty much it.

    To me a good wedding photographer is kind of like a journalist. They are there to capture an event, a meaningful moment in time. They're not there to judge or make sure the bride's shoes are nicely lit. My friend's wedding photographer was an "artist" who took photos of things more than of people. She was beyond pissed. Especially since she's a no-nonsense person and not in the least sentimental. How may pictures of your wedding bands or the dinner table or the bride's shoes or her dress can you have?

    I've been asked to shoot weddings a few times and I never agreed mainly because I'm not a professional photographer, let alone a professional wedding photographer and wouldn't want to ruin anyone's special moment. But if I ever agree to shoot one, that's exactly how I'm going to do it, like a journalist looking in on a moment in time. Any "product placement" kind of photos they can count on might be the food, because I do like photographing food. Not many pictures of you rigidly posing with your groom's father and your bitter mother-in-law, and the family members you don't even know, either.

    I've seen some quite good visually and aesthetically wedding photos, but when you look at the photographer's website you usually see that they recycle everything from one couple to another. The places, the props, the poses, the lighting, etc. To me, they're actually the worst possible kind of engagement/wedding photos as they're not showing people but props. But that's just me. I'm sure some (if not most) couples love it. And that's what matters if you're in a wedding photography business.

  6. #46
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    Quote Originally Posted by my little pony View Post
    my least favorite engagement photos are the ones where they both wear a white button down shirt or a black turtleneck
    You mean like this? :p

  7. #47
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    Quote Originally Posted by mkats View Post
    You mean like this? :p
    yes, i like to pretend i never saw that since i kind of like them

    i remember a friend of mine telling me that her engagement photographer was really original and did really innovative things - only to be presented with a picture of the two of them in matching gap shirts
    I feel like I'm in a dream. But it can't be a dream because there are no boy dancers!

  8. #48
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    Quote Originally Posted by Skittl1321 View Post
    ...So I see no problem with trash the dress if that is something you'd like to do.
    I actually don't see a problem with the trashing of the dress - if it's something the couple wants to do, even get a couple of friends to come over and help, or take pictures or whatever. It's the professional photography staging that irks me to no end. it's not actually about trashing the dress; it's about getting photographic proof of something ZANY and seemingly spontaneous, that's just as staged and fake as those insipid morning after photos. The photograph is far more important than the experience. It's an ANTM "pretty ugly" photo shoot fantasy for the masses gone horribly wrong.
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  9. #49
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rafter View Post
    Agree. Why any woman would think that anyone wants to see a photo of her large (and usually bare) belly is beyond me.

    Then again, I'm one of those people who does not find pregnancy attractive.
    Thank God, I thought I was the only one. Deep down I plan that if I even wind up pregnant, we are having a Victorian pregnancy, ignoring the elephant (-sized creature) in the room and not discussing the matter until there is a healthy baby resultant (and if there isn't, not discussing it at all.) I would definitely NOT want a photographer involved. I definitely have ZERO interest in seeing photos of other people pregnant, unless there's something medically interesting about it. (I don't mean giving birth, I mean oddities and such.)

    But I don't like pregnancy. Or babies, particularly. It's all too messy and uncouth.

    Regarding "trash the dress", I think SOME brides use the term for post-wedding photo shoots that, while they might not intentionally and actively destroy it, would stain it or get it dirty in ways that are probably not worth trying to clean it. I know a few people who've referred to photo shoots riding their horse in their dress as "trash the dress", even though the only real damage was horse hair and dirt stains on the skirt. Otherwise...well, I've paid a LOT of money for MANY dresses, in which I basically engage in athletic activities.

    Engagement photos, I guess I can see doing a portrait or something. At least something decent to send to the paper with the engagement announcement. I did see ONE series of them that...well, they were Twilight-themed, and it was on Wedinator on icanhascheezburger. 'Nuff said.

  10. #50
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    Quote Originally Posted by PDilemma View Post
    You know, you don't have to take "lovey-dovey frolicking in the city/forest engagement" pictures if you don't want to. You really don't. A man or woman with a camera cannot force you to do any of that. I'm not understanding the insistence that that is the only possible engagement photo. Unless people are taking the "shoot" part of a photo shoot too literally and think that the photographer has the power of life or death in his/her hands and can order you to "frolic or die".

    Not a single frolic on our engagement disc. Nothing even close to one.
    Oh I know. But knowing my fiance, the only facial expression he could have pulled off during an engagement photoshoot (where he was not skateboarding) would be one of and disgust.

    It's just me, I guess. I don't really get the point of hiring a professional photographer if you're just gonna be wearing regular clothes and looking like you're doing pretty regular things. I'd want to make it more special, you know?

    Hence the skatepark in wedding attire idea.

    Quote Originally Posted by WindSpirit View Post
    To me a good wedding photographer is kind of like a journalist. They are there to capture an event, a meaningful moment in time. They're not there to judge or make sure the bride's shoes are nicely lit. My friend's wedding photographer was an "artist" who took photos of things more than of people. She was beyond pissed. Especially since she's a no-nonsense person and not in the least sentimental. How may pictures of your wedding bands or the dinner table or the bride's shoes or her dress can you have?
    I'm actually going to have a super-DIY wedding and I hope my photographer captures some of my DIY centerpieces in an artistic way. I'm already crocheting the doilies!

    But yes, just pics of an empty reception hall is boring too. Photographs of people eating is not very attractive, IMO. I'm also not a fan of formal posed photos so I generally have no idea how my wedding photography is going to go. Aside from my DIY centerpieces.
    Last edited by Anita18; 08-28-2012 at 05:47 AM.

  11. #51
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    Quote Originally Posted by WindSpirit View Post

    Having said that... In defense of the engagement, wedding, pregnancy and even "the morning after" photos, it doesn't really matter how they look to anyone else than the couple in question. Those pictures are for them, for their enjoyment, etc. They may seem tacky to us, self-indulgent (that they should be, no?) or even creepy, but so what? They're not to be hanged in a gallery or studied, they're a keepsake for people who are in it. That's pretty much it.
    If they are a private keepsake for the people in them, then we wouldn't know if they were tacky, unless someone invaded their privacy. Once they put them out there, there's a huge chance they will be and mocked.
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  12. #52

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    I have no idea who started the "everyone wear a white t-shirt" trend for family and couple shoots, but that surely is one of the strangest ideas, photographically....

    I'm a photographer who does shoot weddings. I don't do trash the dress shoots, and I've never done a pregnancy shoot either. Engagement shoots are tremendously difficult. Somehow, couples appear to want a full set of varied pictures, despite the fact there are only two of them wearing boring clothes and in a boring place (the worst one I did was when a couple insisted on holding it one evening in their front room. The light was terrible. Their front-room was plain. They wore clothes matching their wallpaper. Yet they wanted something that would look like it could feature in vogue...).

    I personally love city pictures for engagements, it means you can introduce more subjects and start telling a bit of a story. If a couple just wants a nice portrait to put on their invitations, then lets just do a nice portrait to put on an invitation.... with the term "engagement shoot", there's the implication of expecting something more elaborate.

    Of course, certain poses are "recycled" from one wedding to the next. Couples ask for them! They see a portfolio and say "I want that picture". ..

    The photojournalistic approach to wedding photography has almost become standard nowadays - suits me fine.
    What does bother me in this thread is that people are taking the whole thing way too seriously. Wedding photography should be fun for the couple and their guests - so what if some of it is cheesy? We're not producing pieces to be hung in the Guggenheim.

  13. #53
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    Quote Originally Posted by Anita18 View Post
    I did not endure hardship, but nevertheless I too was raised with the mindset that one does not waste anything.
    Quote Originally Posted by ballettmaus View Post
    I hadn't heard of trashing a dress before but let me get this straight. These people buy dresses that cost hundreds, even thousands of dollars and just because they figure they won't wear them again they ruin them?
    I guess that makes it official - people still have too much money, even in economic crisis and they have no idea what money's worth anymore. Geez.
    My mom still has her dress. It didn't cost a fortune and I certainly won't wear it. But I think there's something about it that makes her not be able to throw it out.

    Regardless, this is tragic and shouldn't happen to anyone. So horrible for her new husband and family!
    Quote Originally Posted by BaileyCatts View Post
    Yep. They totally destroy the dress taking the pictures. Cut them up, rip and tear them, roll around in the mud and ocean, spray paint them ... its crazy some of the pictures I've seen online. Just google it and you will find some photo shoots. My thought is ... hey spoiled princess, why don't you sell your dress to someone who would like a nice dress but could never afford to pay $6,000+ for a dress, or donate it to a charity, or put it in a consignment shop, or sell it to a dress outlet shop, or something other than completely destroy a dress you wore for about 6 hours. Total waste.


    Amen to that! I watch that Say Yes to the Dress show and it amazes me the little spoiled brats who march in there and announce their dress budget is $5,000+. Insane. I know someone who paid for her whole damn wedding with $5,000 and it was very lovely. And her dress was more gorgeous than the $5,000+ monstrosities I see on Say Yes to the Dress.
    Quote Originally Posted by numbers123 View Post
    There are some volunteers for NICUs who take donated wedding gowns and make burial clothing for infants who have died in the NICU. While it sounds macabre, it is really appreciated by the families. Most are in shock and are in deep grief states. The cost of burying an infant isn't nearly what it is for adults, but you would be surprised at the cost. Someone donating a beautiful gown for you to do this/take pictures or have a memory of someones generosity means a great deal to those parents. One wedding gown can make many premie gowns. Your dress is used for good and not for the landfill.

    But genevieve is right - it is a sign of the ME, ME, ME mentality.
    I hadn't heard a thing about this trend until reading this thread. What a tragic loss for the family! I hope this puts an end to it!

  14. #54
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    Quote Originally Posted by paskatefan View Post
    I hadn't heard a thing about this trend until reading this thread. What a tragic loss for the family! I hope this puts an end to it!
    Well it wasn't the trend that killed the bride. It was where they decided to stage it. There must have been a strong current when they all went into the water, and it was deep enough that the bride drowned. It was a stupid thing to do. I'm sure if they had decided to trash the dress at a pig farm, for example, the bride would still be alive.

  15. #55
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    Everyone on this thread really needs to visit http://youarenotaphotographer.com/


    Fabulous site.


    (I wish I had frolicking engagement pictures. We had ours taken at Sears...needed something to put in the paper with the announcement. I do like the photo though.)

  16. #56
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    Quote Originally Posted by Anita18 View Post
    I'm actually going to have a super-DIY wedding and I hope my photographer captures some of my DIY centerpieces in an artistic way. I'm already crocheting the doilies!

    But yes, just pics of an empty reception hall is boring too. Photographs of people eating is not very attractive, IMO. I'm also not a fan of formal posed photos so I generally have no idea how my wedding photography is going to go. Aside from my DIY centerpieces.
    Talk to your photographer and tell him/her what you want. It's your wedding, you're paying for the pictures and you should get what you want.

    BTW, I didn't mean people eating. I meant, the food only. Food photography is quite a big business. I also happen to think food is an aesthetically-pleasing subject. I kind of joked about photographing food at a wedding, though. Unless it was awesome visually. Same goes for wedding reception halls. I've some decorated so beautifully they definitely deserved to be photographed.

    Quote Originally Posted by kwanfan1818 View Post
    If they are a private keepsake for the people in them, then we wouldn't know if they were tacky, unless someone invaded their privacy. Once they put them out there, there's a huge chance they will be and mocked.
    I didn't say they were a private keepsake. Only that they're a keepsake. Couples can do with them what they want, and nowadays lots of people put private pictures of everything that goes in their lives online. If someone thinks the photos are bad, they're free to mock them, of course. If I were the couple, though, I wouldn't give a crap what other people think about my photos. If I liked them that would be enough for me. That was my point, with this kind of photography you have only two people to please: your subjects. It doesn't matter if you please anyone else.

  17. #57
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    Quote Originally Posted by danceronice View Post
    Thank God, I thought I was the only one. Deep down I plan that if I even wind up pregnant, we are having a Victorian pregnancy, ignoring the elephant (-sized creature) in the room and not discussing the matter until there is a healthy baby resultant (and if there isn't, not discussing it at all.) I would definitely NOT want a photographer involved. I definitely have ZERO interest in seeing photos of other people pregnant, unless there's something medically interesting about it. (I don't mean giving birth, I mean oddities and such.)

    But I don't like pregnancy. Or babies, particularly. It's all too messy and uncouth.
    I so agree with you. And I've had two babies.

  18. #58

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    Quote Originally Posted by WindSpirit View Post
    Talk to your photographer and tell him/her what you want. It's your wedding, you're paying for the pictures and you should get what you want.
    .
    Well, to an extent. Your photographer should be allowed to use his professional discretion as well. It's pretty much impossible to do a semi-decent job of shooting a wedding if you have a list of 50 must-take shots and 137 combinations of family members to catch.

    If you chose a photographer with a style you like, there should be some things to your taste in the 300+ proofs you end up with.

  19. #59
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    Quote Originally Posted by Skittl1321 View Post
    Everyone on this thread really needs to visit http://youarenotaphotographer.com/


    Fabulous site.
    At first I thought they were ragging on amateur photographers, which seemed somewhat harsh. Then I realized that all these photos came from someone who claimed to be a professional.

  20. #60
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    Quote Originally Posted by millyskate View Post
    Well, to an extent. Your photographer should be allowed to use his professional discretion as well.
    If by professional discretion you mean their knowledge of composition, lighting, etc., I agree. If you're talking about a wedding photographer taking the kinds of shots s/he wants and those s/he seems suitable, like it happened in my friend's case (more shots of shoes, bands, tables than people; something she didn't want at all), I don't agree.

    It's pretty much impossible to do a semi-decent job of shooting a wedding if you have a list of 50 must-take shots and 137 combinations of family members to catch.
    No one said that. Let's not go into extremes. I think a couple should study other pictures of the wedding photographer they plan to hire (and mainly to see whether they can take good pictures) and discuss their vision with him/her to see how much the photographer can accommodate them. If either side doesn't like what the other is saying/asking, they're free to find someone else.

    If you chose a photographer with a style you like, there should be some things to your taste in the 300+ proofs you end up with.
    "There should be"? What if it isn't? I wouldn't play that lottery for the price wedding photographers are asking.

    There should be some give and take on both sides, but definitely more on the photographer's side. If you both discuss what you want and you agree to take the job, you're there for them. Or you're going to refuse to take a picture the couple is asking you to take at her their wedding?

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