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  1. #1
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    Online dating advice

    It's official: I am divorced, and am kicking around the idea of dating casually. Relationship was over quite a few months ago, and I am completely over it. Not looking to jump right back in the deep end, but would enjoy some company.

    Did the registration with Plenty of Fish to increase my odds of meeting someone compatible, as I do meet people live as well, but the responses I have been getting haven't been encouraging, to say the least. Are the pay sites any better?

    I am 40, and looking for someone about 37-47.

    I also did the labourious questionaire for E-Harmony, and immediately started getting matches for men in their late fifties and sixties, so I don't think that one will work. No, I do not enjoy classic rock (unless nineties rock has become classic) nor Corvettes and photos of you when you had hair, or being only five years older than your children.

    Any suggestions?

  2. #2
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    just watch out for any lesser gays

  3. #3
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    I met my fiance on Plenty of Fish, so it isn't impossible to find someone compatible on a free site. It probably takes more time though. I was on there for I think 3 years, casually looking through profiles and reading messages, going on a date or two, before I met my fiance. I mean, I probably deleted 70% of the messages that came into my box because the guy obviously didn't read my profile.

    I think on a paid site, you might give yourself more pressure to date and get into a relationship because you're paying for it. Depends on your attitude though. If you want to jump right in and get to dating (instead of just reading profiles and filtering messages), then a paid site would be better. But I was perfectly fine taking it slow.

    My fiance's friend found his now-wife on Eharmony. It was hilarious - they both took the compatibility test and were 100% with each other. She actually messaged him and said, "Hey, we're 100% compatible, we should go out." And that was that.

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    Lol. Gay men in Wilton Manors tend to date gay men. I'm starting to think this whole lesser gay thing is an urban myth. Not one gay man has ever tried to marry me. Not even one. What's wrong with me?

    I probably deleted 70% of the messages that came into my box because the guy obviously didn't read my profile.
    A 30% success rate sounds pretty good. I would just like to meet people casually for now. I must have looked at 100 profiles in the past week, but they're so offputting. No baggage, no games, no drama, must not live more than 10 miles from me, even though I am obese you must be thin, must love reptiles.....Ugh. It doesn't help that I look for spelling errors and misuse of caps. Then again, shouldn't you take enough care to make sure your profile is appealing and error free before you post it?
    Last edited by leesaleesa; 08-16-2012 at 01:13 AM.

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by leesaleesa View Post
    A 30% success rate sounds pretty good. I would just like to meet people casually for now. I must have looked at 100 profiles in the past week, but they're so offputting. No baggage, no games, no drama, must not live more than 10 miles from me, even though I am obese you must be thin, must love reptiles.....Ugh. It doesn't help that I look for spelling errors and misuse of caps. Then again, shouldn't you take enough care to make sure your profile is appealing and error free before you post it?
    No, I did the same thing. Checked for grammar and such. It was helpful to have a thing for shy awkward nerds.

    Maybe it was more like 90% overall discard rate. I don't remember anymore. It's been 4 years. Definitely takes time and patience. After a while, reading profiles and messages was actually pretty fun.

    And from what I hear, Plenty of Fish has gotten more full of weirdos, so I must have lucked out back then.

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    It was helpful to have a thing for shy awkward nerds
    I adore shy, awkward nerds, but I think they are terrified of me.

    Where does one go to find these nerds? I could take a Xanax and tie my hands to my side to keep from over talking and wildy gesticulating.

    I just checked my matches, and one is a biker friend. He's a fun guy to have a drink with in a group setting, but so not a match.

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by leesaleesa View Post
    I adore shy, awkward nerds, but I think they are terrified of me.

    Where does one go to find these nerds? I could take a Xanax and tie my hands to my side to keep from over talking and wildy gesticulating.
    LOL, I don't think that's it. I "interpretive dance" everything I say.

    It helps if you live near Caltech, for one. Although my fiance didn't go to Caltech, I dated a few guys who did.

    Well, they ARE shy and awkward, so you have to message them yourself! I maintain that I messaged my fiance first, although he says he might have. Well, back then Plenty of Fish deleted messages older than 2 weeks, so now we'll never know.

  8. #8

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    Watch out for anyone who calls themselves Macho Man (I had someone of that name contact me via a dating site. Needless to say I did not respond).
    When you are up to your arse in alligators it is difficult to remember you were only meant to be draining the swamp.

  9. #9
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    Watch out for anyone who calls themselves Macho Man
    Surely it was tongue in cheek? On the other hand, he probably thinks he's the shit.

    I've already been yelled at by DanMarinoLookalike2285 and INEED2BWITHUNOW, and been called fat by a Ron Jeremy look a like who probably doesn't know he looks like Ron Jeremy. Let's just say he's rotund, to be polite. All for looking at their profiles and not leaing a message. I didn't see any nerds. Then again, Ft Lauderdale isn't known for it's intellectuals, but someone has to do IT, right?

    I think I've found another book subject.

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by leesaleesa View Post
    I've already been yelled at by DanMarinoLookalike2285 and INEED2BWITHUNOW, and been called fat by a Ron Jeremy look a like who probably doesn't know he looks like Ron Jeremy. Let's just say he's rotund, to be polite. All for looking at their profiles and not leaing a message. I didn't see any nerds. Then again, Ft Lauderdale isn't known for it's intellectuals, but someone has to do IT, right?

    I think I've found another book subject.
    Yeeeah, if you were near the Kennedy Space Center, you could bag yourself a NASA scientist. Not sure what sort of nerds you're gonna find in Ft Lauderdale.

    IT guys aren't ALL that nerdy, IMO. The real nerds are making more money as engineers.

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    I need to find someone who likes shy, awkward nerds.

  12. #12

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    Quote Originally Posted by leesaleesa View Post
    Surely it was tongue in cheek? On the other hand, he probably thinks he's the shit.
    No it was actually quite serious. And now that you mention it he had the Ron Jeremy look about him . I don't think he read profiles very carefully either because if he had really read mine he should have twigged that I was none of those things that he was looking for (such as I am not a romantic person).
    When you are up to your arse in alligators it is difficult to remember you were only meant to be draining the swamp.

  13. #13

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    Quote Originally Posted by leesaleesa View Post

    I've already been yelled at by DanMarinoLookalike2285 and INEED2BWITHUNOW, and been called fat by a Ron Jeremy look a like who probably doesn't know he looks like Ron Jeremy. Let's just say he's rotund, to be polite. All for looking at their profiles and not leaing a message. I didn't see any nerds. Then again, Ft Lauderdale isn't known for it's intellectuals, but someone has to do IT, right?

    I think I've found another book subject.
    You need to keep updating us on this. Already sounds very interesting and will give us hours of entertainment.
    When you are up to your arse in alligators it is difficult to remember you were only meant to be draining the swamp.

  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by leesaleesa View Post
    Any suggestions?
    Ah, the online dating scene. Avoid the ones who define themselves as Wiccans or Pagans. It's internet code for "I'm an unattractive narcissist who wants to appear spiritual but can't follow the rules of a real religion."

  15. #15

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    A couple of years ago, I found reading profiles for potential dates so disheartening yet hilarious that I started an "Adventures in Online Dating" blog. It's truly amusing going through some of those profiles.

    My funniest experience (it's the one entitled "Adventures in Online Dating #2").
    Give me one more quiet night, before this loud morning gets it right, and does me in.
    ~DC

  16. #16
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    I tried Match.com and out of hundreds of guys, I found one I was attracted to. We emailed a couple times, and he told me the co. he worked for and his last name. At first he seemed nice, but then he came up with this. Hey, I know this is a weird question, but what type of underwear do you wear? Says, he just wants to learn more about me, and can tell alot by the underwear. I replied back with this. FYI, I am a lady and therefore will not answer your underwear question. The guy was in his 50's and acted like he was in his 20's.

    I found out, he lied about his age by 10 yrs., was not a "social" drinker, but after locating him on twitter....discovered he is clearly an alcoholic. The picture he posted was when he probably was in his 40's. His picture on twitter was very different. Glad I never met him!

  17. #17

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    OMG Kruss - the Kurt Russell Lookalike!
    When you are up to your arse in alligators it is difficult to remember you were only meant to be draining the swamp.

  18. #18

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    Quote Originally Posted by Aussie Willy View Post
    OMG Kruss - the Kurt Russell Lookalike!
    Wasn't that hilarious??? I howled when I first read it. Think I should have snapped him up?
    Give me one more quiet night, before this loud morning gets it right, and does me in.
    ~DC

  19. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ice Queen View Post
    I tried Match.com and out of hundreds of guys, I found one I was attracted to. We emailed a couple times, and he told me the co. he worked for and his last name. At first he seemed nice, but then he came up with this. Hey, I know this is a weird question, but what type of underwear do you wear? Says, he just wants to learn more about me, and can tell alot by the underwear. I replied back with this. FYI, I am a lady and therefore will not answer your underwear question. The guy was in his 50's and acted like he was in his 20's.

    I found out, he lied about his age by 10 yrs., was not a "social" drinker, but after locating him on twitter....discovered he is clearly an alcoholic. The picture he posted was when he probably was in his 40's. His picture on twitter was very different. Glad I never met him!
    Hey at least he prefaced the question with that! The first (and last) time I was on Lavalife, I had guy ask me, "How are your feet?" Even before "Hi how are you? Wanna chat?"

  20. #20

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    Quote Originally Posted by Kruss View Post
    Wasn't that hilarious??? I howled when I first read it. Think I should have snapped him up?
    Oh most definately.

    My warning signs always go up when someone says that they have a fantastic sense of humour and are a really funny guy. Hmmm isn't that for me to judge?
    When you are up to your arse in alligators it is difficult to remember you were only meant to be draining the swamp.

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