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  1. #501

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    A friend of mine asked me to post this since we're both Israeli and basically have no professional-looking clothes She is moving to Boston next month for a couple of years and is trying to line up a visiting researcher position. Basically she needs some advice re putting together a basic professional wardrobe at a reasonable cost - any suggestions of where to shop, what to buy, etc.?

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    Well, it's been a week and a half since the wedding. Still feeling blue. So much planning. So much anticipation. So much excitement. Now it's over, and I don't know how it went so fast. I still have this feeling of having been there but that I wasn't there. Like I was wrapped in gauze. I hope that goes away. I know I had a wonderful time and it was beautiful, but it feels surreal. I wish it was still ahead of us. I suspect that part of my sadness is feeling like a big chunk of my life is over. The wedding was symbolic of the fact that my daughter now has her own family. Don't get me wrong, I am thrilled for her. She married her soulmate, and his family is incredible. But, there is a sense of loss. A wanting to go back to when she was little and we were the center of her universe. I suppose this is pretty normal for parents of brides and grooms. Any other moms, who's kids are married felt like this?

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    Congrats cruisin! Having read your attire/design advice over the years, I can only imagine how impeccably stylish the wedding was. Very best to you and your daughter

    IME, weddings are bittersweet affairs for parents. There's lots of joy and anticipation, but a lingering melancholy as well. Just hang in there--it gets better!


    For Zemgirl, idk of places to shop in Israel, but in the US, just go to a discount store like TJ Maxx or Ross and get some wardrobe basics like a couple of white (or black) blouses, a couple suit jackets, and a few dress slacks/skirts. Keep them in neutral colors so they can be mixed and matched. No need to go to a specialty shop/boutique store for any of that. Once she settles in, she can see how formal the attire is where she'll be, and she can shop accordingly.

  4. #504

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    (((((crusin))))))

  5. #505

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    Quote Originally Posted by agalisgv View Post
    For Zemgirl, idk of places to shop in Israel, but in the US, just go to a discount store like TJ Maxx or Ross and get some wardrobe basics like a couple of white (or black) blouses, a couple suit jackets, and a few dress slacks/skirts. Keep them in neutral colors so they can be mixed and matched. No need to go to a specialty shop/boutique store for any of that. Once she settles in, she can see how formal the attire is where she'll be, and she can shop accordingly.
    Thanks - I did mean in the US, there's no point in shopping for anything here: not enough to choose from, too pricey, and nothing that would really hold up to a New England winter. She and her husband are not going to take much with them and she will need to interview at a couple of places pretty much as soon as they arrive, so she'll definitely need to figure out the whole what to wear/where to buy thing quickly.

  6. #506
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zemgirl View Post
    A friend of mine asked me to post this since we're both Israeli and basically have no professional-looking clothes She is moving to Boston next month for a couple of years and is trying to line up a visiting researcher position. Basically she needs some advice re putting together a basic professional wardrobe at a reasonable cost - any suggestions of where to shop, what to buy, etc.?
    Boston is on the conservative side, even in academic researcher positions. I'm there a few times a year and we have close connections with various institutes at Harvard, BU and such. My stepbrother works with MIT researchers.

    Tell your friend to look at the Ann Taylor and Talbots websites but NOT to buy anything there unless it is deeply discounted. Once she has the idea of American professional dressing, go to TJ Maxx, Ross, Target or H&M and buy the same styles, much cheaper.

    In Israel there are almost no places selling these kinds of clothes, I know. The fashionable designers of Tel Aviv are too casual and funky for Boston and the ordinary stores way too casual. Even your newscasters have major boobage spilling out of their clothes!

    If you're starting from scratch, I'll repeat what PRkid and I bought for her starting work wardrobe:

    2 pairs work slacks
    2 nice (not mini) skirts
    1 black blazer
    1 conservative black dress that could be dressed up for cocktails if necessary
    four blouses/tops
    1 closed-toe pair of low heeled black pumps
    scarf, low-key jewelry, neutral cardigan sweater for when the blazer is too dressy

    Of course, I also work in a conservative city. For Miami or San Francisco I think the basics would be somewhat different.

    On another note, I actually bought a pair of Target curvy jeans yesterday. For $27 they are quite nice, although being between sizes at the moment I probably erred in buying the 10, they stretched out a lot during last night's Nats game. But hell, at that price, in the washer and dryer they go.
    "Youth and vigor is no match for age and deceit." -- Prancer

  7. #507

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    Quote Originally Posted by PRlady View Post
    Boston is on the conservative side, even in academic researcher positions. I'm there a few times a year and we have close connections with various institutes at Harvard, BU and such. My stepbrother works with MIT researchers.

    Tell your friend to look at the Ann Taylor and Talbots websites but NOT to buy anything there unless it is deeply discounted. Once she has the idea of American professional dressing, go to TJ Maxx, Ross, Target or H&M and buy the same styles, much cheaper.

    In Israel there are almost no places selling these kinds of clothes, I know. The fashionable designers of Tel Aviv are too casual and funky for Boston and the ordinary stores way too casual. Even your newscasters have major boobage spilling out of their clothes!

    If you're starting from scratch, I'll repeat what PRkid and I bought for her starting work wardrobe:

    2 pairs work slacks
    2 nice (not mini) skirts
    1 black blazer
    1 conservative black dress that could be dressed up for cocktails if necessary
    four blouses/tops
    1 closed-toe pair of low heeled black pumps
    scarf, low-key jewelry, neutral cardigan sweater for when the blazer is too dressy
    Thanks! Transitioning from Israeli academia to the US version is a challenge in many ways

    As for the list, here is what I have from it:
    1 nice pair of slacks
    A few nice blouses
    Low key jewelry
    My black dress might qualify, I'm not sure.

    I have a lot of skirts, cardigans and slacks that are fine for Israel but wouldn't cut it anywhere more formal. And my shoe situation is dire.

  8. #508
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zemgirl View Post
    Thanks! Transitioning from Israeli academia to the US version is a challenge in many ways

    As for the list, here is what I have from it:
    1 nice pair of slacks
    A few nice blouses
    Low key jewelry
    My black dress might qualify, I'm not sure.

    I have a lot of skirts, cardigans and slacks that are fine for Israel but wouldn't cut it anywhere more formal. And my shoe situation is dire.
    Well, you have ME in person but not until February.

    Israeli shoes suck for these purposes. Either they are ****-me-slut shoes or chalutznik sandals. When are you coming here?
    "Youth and vigor is no match for age and deceit." -- Prancer

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    For shoes I'd just go to Payless for a pair. They are cheap, but better quality than Target/Walmart.

    Eventually you can shop at the major discount racks at department stores for shoes. Also TJ Maxx will have stuff available.

    There's a huge TJ Maxx in downtown Boston--you should be able to get everything you need there.

  10. #510
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    Quote Originally Posted by agalisgv View Post
    Congrats cruisin! Having read your attire/design advice over the years, I can only imagine how impeccably stylish the wedding was. Very best to you and your daughter

    IME, weddings are bittersweet affairs for parents. There's lots of joy and anticipation, but a lingering melancholy as well. Just hang in there--it gets better!
    Quote Originally Posted by skatesindreams View Post
    (((((crusin))))))
    Thanks! It's such a strange feeling. The day, itself was real time. The girls got to the venue around 10:00am for hair and make-up. I did my own, so I got there around 12:00. The groom's Mom got there around 1:00. So, it was a very nice afternoon. We did a "First Look", where the groom stood at the bottom of the spiral staircase and turned to see my daughter as she came down the stairs, instead of seeing her for the first time when she walked down the aisle. We did that so that we could go to the cocktail hour. However, the family (aunts, uncles, cousins) photos took most of the cocktail hour, in spite of our great planning. So, I never even saw the food, how it was presented, or got to mingle and greet. Then, by the time we got introduced for the reception it was a half hour into the reception. Realistically, we only had about 3.5 hours. It makes me sad that I missed things that were so carefully planned. The ceremony, itself was beautiful. Overlooking the golf course, with a brook. Their vows were goose bump inspiring. They looked at each other with so much love. It was really breathtaking! But, the reception seems like I was only partly there. I remember bits and pieces, but can't remember chunks of it. I don't know why, since I only had 2 glasses of champaign over the course of 6 hours. I spent the whole two weeks before the wedding telling myself, don't get overwhelmed, relax, take it all in. I think I put so much pressure on myself to take it all in, that my brain shut down. I'm hoping that once the professional photos are up, I will remember more. I did dance a lot. But, I did not get around to most of the tables to greet people, simply because I lost track of time. I would love to post some photos but don't know how.

  11. #511
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    If it's any consolation, cruisin, I felt like that at my own wedding. IRL I am a shy person, most comfortable in small, intimate groups. Big groups of people freak me out (nope, not going to Burning Man any time soon) and our wedding was pretty big. It was beautiful, or so they tell me but for me it was a total blur. I lost track of time too.
    Last edited by IceAlisa; 09-20-2013 at 02:53 AM.
    "Nature is a damp, inconvenient sort of place where birds and animals wander about uncooked."

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  12. #512
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    You guys are scaring me about PRkid's wedding in two years. Cruisin, go to picasa and open a free account and put your photos there for everyone to see! Even I can do it and we know how techno-astute I am....

    Karma came back and bit me another way. Remember how I sent IceAlisa a link to the Boden catalog and she ended up buying a summer dress there? I've now bought two winter dresses there myself. The first one was a shot in the dark, then it came and it looks SO good and it is SO comfortable to wear, so I ordered another one.

    Just what I need, another catalog company to love.
    "Youth and vigor is no match for age and deceit." -- Prancer

  13. #513
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    Mwa ha hahahaha. Justice!
    "Nature is a damp, inconvenient sort of place where birds and animals wander about uncooked."

    from Speedy Death

  14. #514
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    Quote Originally Posted by cruisin View Post
    Well, it's been a week and a half since the wedding. Still feeling blue. So much planning. So much anticipation. So much excitement. Now it's over, and I don't know how it went so fast. I still have this feeling of having been there but that I wasn't there. Like I was wrapped in gauze. I hope that goes away.
    ((((((cruisin)))))) I think it's quite normal, actually, to feel a sense of emptiness after an event which you spent so much time planning and anticipating. It's almost like the law of gravity - what goes up must come down. And unfortunately in this case it's your mood. And it's also a major life transition for you as your "baby" has left the nest. But I hope that there will be many more milestones in your life for you to celebrate, and until then, try to keep busy.

    Quote Originally Posted by IceAlisa View Post
    I am a shy person
    Does.not.compute. I have always pictured you otherwise.
    "I miss footwork that has any kind of a discernible pattern. The goal of a step sequence should not be for a skater to show the same ice coverage as a Zamboni and take about as much time as an ice resurface. " ~ Zemgirl, reflecting on a pre-IJS straight line sequence

  15. #515

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    Quote Originally Posted by BittyBug View Post
    ((((((cruisin)))))) I think it's quite normal, actually, to feel a sense of emptiness after an event which you spent so much time planning and anticipating. It's almost like the law of gravity - what goes up must come down. And unfortunately in this case it's your mood. And it's also a major life transition for you as your "baby" has left the nest. But I hope that there will be many more milestones in your life for you to celebrate, and until then, try to keep busy.
    You spoke for me.

    crusin, it would be surprising if you didn't feel as you do.
    The wedding -- and all that led up to it -- was a life-changing event.
    Give yourself time to decompress.
    Soon enough you'll find your footing; and another "consuming interest" will present itself.

  16. #516

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    So I had these on in the store

    Fabulous Red Boots

    and didn't get them. Because I'm supposed to be not shopping.

    But they are damn cute.

  17. #517
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    So now that I'm down several sizes (10 - 12) I have been buying a new wardrobe and I got a little black pencil skirt down to the knee.. and really looks great with lots of my existing jackets etc., But what a friggin pain in the ass to get into my vehicle.. I drive an SUV and I'm short - so each time I get in I have to hike up my skirt Must admit though I'm so pleased that pencil skirts are back in style as looks good when many figures.. PL love those boots..
    Thanks to PI .. I discovered I'm actually a Nontheist

    "Love is better than Anger, Hope is better than fear" Jack Layton 1950-2011

  18. #518
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    Quote Originally Posted by cruisin View Post
    Well, it's been a week and a half since the wedding. Still feeling blue. So much planning. So much anticipation. So much excitement. Now it's over, and I don't know how it went so fast. I still have this feeling of having been there but that I wasn't there. Like I was wrapped in gauze. I hope that goes away. I know I had a wonderful time and it was beautiful, but it feels surreal. I wish it was still ahead of us. I suspect that part of my sadness is feeling like a big chunk of my life is over. The wedding was symbolic of the fact that my daughter now has her own family. Don't get me wrong, I am thrilled for her. She married her soulmate, and his family is incredible. But, there is a sense of loss. A wanting to go back to when she was little and we were the center of her universe. I suppose this is pretty normal for parents of brides and grooms. Any other moms, who's kids are married felt like this?
    I think I avoided this because I was in the middle of my final projects the weekend of my wedding. Didn't have much time to take stock and figure out what to do, because it was back to the grind! My mom had fun helping me craft, but I'm not sure if she felt that kind of emptiness. She always has tons of other crafty things to do on her plate to fill up any finished projects.

    I'm not even sad that my honeymoon's over, even though I had a fantastic, relaxing time. Because I had multiple projects waiting for me when I got back. Is that the sign of a workaholic?

  19. #519
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    Quote Originally Posted by PrincessLeppard View Post
    So I had these on in the store

    Fabulous Red Boots

    and didn't get them. Because I'm supposed to be not shopping.

    But they are damn cute.
    They are damn cute, PL.
    Quote Originally Posted by BittyBug View Post
    .

    Does.not.compute. I have always pictured you otherwise.
    Well, I am not shy around here or in small groups of people I know. But in large groups, I am pretty quiet. And especially can't stand being the center of attention in a large group of strangers like my own wedding. OTOH, I don't have a problem teaching a large group of people I don't know, as long as I don't have to socialize with them.
    "Nature is a damp, inconvenient sort of place where birds and animals wander about uncooked."

    from Speedy Death

  20. #520
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    I can't believe this is happening. But here is Pippa Middleton wearing a hideous dress: http://omg.yahoo.com/photos/what-wer...013-slideshow/
    "Nature is a damp, inconvenient sort of place where birds and animals wander about uncooked."

    from Speedy Death

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