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Thread: London Voiding!

  1. #61
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    Since Fred hasn't (yet) posted the promised review of the ice show, I thought I'd link to this article from a Russian source that includes a video: http://rbth.ru/articles/2012/08/07/r...ena_17119.html
    Can't skate but love to watch

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    Just got back from London yesterday. It was an EXHAUSTING experience but I enjoyed my time there. The Olympic park was impressive and the British crowd were amazing!

    My highlight is sitting in the Olympic Park live area watching Murray win the gold with the crowd cheering. Funniest thing, I was chatting with this English guy sitting beside me and he said "We'll let Murray to be British today. The next time he loses he's back being a Scot."

    Now my goal will be to save enough money to actually attend an opening ceremony at the Olympics...

  3. #63
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    Quote Originally Posted by walei View Post
    J, I was chatting with this English guy sitting beside me and he said "We'll let Murray to be British today. The next time he loses he's back being a Scot." :.


  4. #64
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    Quote Originally Posted by Alixana View Post
    Totally OT but when you work in healthcare, "London voiding" has a whole different meaning!
    That's what popped into my head as well.
    "Nature is a damp, inconvenient sort of place where birds and animals wander about uncooked."

    from Speedy Death

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    Quote Originally Posted by victorskid View Post
    Since Fred hasn't (yet) posted the promised review of the ice show
    I've been busy!

    I'll try to do it before the Olympics end.....
    To think that fun is simple fun, while earnest things are earnest, proves all too plain that neither one thou truthfully discernest.

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    Small Stories Of A Big City - A Review

    Cast and characters (and my descriptions ):

    Tatiana Navka - She (Bar slut in chief)
    Roman Kostomarov - He (Boy from the wrong side of the rink)
    Alexei Yagudin - Gambler (Leader of the pack)
    Alexei Tikhonov - Tramp (Chaplinesque Angel)
    Maxim Shabalin - Gambler's Companion (Lesser Gambler 1)
    Maxim Staviski - Gambler's Companion (Lesser Gambler 2)
    Oksana Domnina - Friend (Supporting bar slut 1)
    Albena Denkova - Friend (Supporting bar slut 2)
    Maria Petrova - A Girl In Despair (About the state of her hair)
    Povilas Vanagas - Inventor (Robot porn director)
    Margarita Drobiazko - Inventor's Wife (Bored housewife)
    Elena Leonova & Andrei Khvalko - Cyber Eve & Cyber Adam (Robot pornstars)
    Tatiana Totmianina - A Province Girl (Standing on every street corner)
    Maxim Marinin - Passer-by (Country boy in the big city)
    Irina Slutskaya - The Doll From The Girl's Dream (Nobody puts Barbie in the corner!)
    Vladimir Besedin & Alexei Polishuk - Policemen (Bobby 1 & Bobby 2)
    Assorted skaters and dancers

    Prologue - Far from the madding choreo

    The show opens with skaters and dancers moving frenetically, but not really doing anything or going anywhere. More or less like a Morosov free programme.

    In the middle of the chaos, Tramp Tikhonov is lying passed out on a park bench probably still recovering from the massive bender he went on when he was allowed to retire.

    He does a little Chaplin routine to entertain us all and show he's one of the good guys.

    Act 1 Scene 1 - Sluts R Us

    The action moves to a seedy bar of the kind that skaters congregrate to on the last night of Worlds. Gambler Yagudin arrives with Sexy Crossovers Navka for a night out with his gambling friends and their suitably attired ladies. Gambler finds better things to do than Navka so she is passed between his friends to dance as suggestively as they please.

    The bar obviously does not have a strict door policy as Skint Kostomarov somehow finds his way in, locks eyes with Navka and it's lust at first sight. Gambler Yagudin is not pleased although it's fair to say he was a bit of an eejit for thinking an ice dancer wouldn't do the dirty on him at the first opportunity.

    TBC
    To think that fun is simple fun, while earnest things are earnest, proves all too plain that neither one thou truthfully discernest.

  7. #67
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    "You must spread some reputation around before giving it to allezfred again."
    Can't skate but love to watch

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    Act 1 Scene 2 - Hands Off My Navka

    Gambler Yagudin is not impressed with Poor Boy Kostomarov and he rounds up his buddies Sticks Staviski and Shinsplints Shabalin to rough the interloper up when he appears at the casino. They chuck him out, but like most men he doesn't know when to quit while he's ahead. This ain't going to end well.

    Act 1 Scene 3 - There's One On Every Street Corner

    Travelling Totmianina arrives in the big smoke with her oversized bag and bumps into Marinin who is in sales. Angel Tikhonov tries to hook them up, but the crowd gets in the way and they lose their grip of each other (which has happened before innit ).

    Act 1 Scene 4 - This Is The Bit Where The Stars Take A Rest

    Lots of frenetic dancing and flailing about. It's called "Mechanical Morning" which sounds vaguely rude.

    Act 1 Scene 5 - The Seeds Of Skating Divorce

    Inventor Vanagas is working feverishly away on a robot mannequin making sure it is anatomically correct. Housewife Drobiazko tries to grab his attention with her scratchy skating, but to no avail. Vanagas is clearly working with earplugs on. Drobiazko storms off to commit adultery with whoever she partners on a celebrity ice dancing show. The couple's little brat is woken by the commotion, but Daddy Vanagas sends her back to bed.

    Act 1 Scene 6 - Toys Gone Wild

    Lil' Brat is in her bedroom hugging her pink dolly and falls asleep. Daddy Vanagas has clearly slipped an LSD tab into her glass of milk as her toys come alive. There's Staviski dressed as a teddy bear, cyclists on ice and pink bobbies. It's like London Pride without the bare-assed chaps! Dancing doll Slutskaya has lost the ability to do a Biellmann on both legs though.

    Act 1 Scene 7 - Gambler Gets Angry And You Won't Like Him When He Gets Angry

    Angel Tikhonov is lounging on his park bench when he spies Nympho Navka and Poor Boy Kostomarov having their own dangerous liaison. It's just like Hampstead Heath. Unfortunately, Gambler Yagudin has followed them and he has brought along his Hell's Angels complete with motorbikes. It's all a bit Szabolcs Vidrai circa 1997. Tikhonov calls for help and Heaven's Angel do battle with their EVILLE counterparts. Meanwhile Yagudin spies a knife that someone thoughtfully left for him and stabs Kostomarov. Navka screams "Noooooooooooooooooooooo" and is clearly on course for some sort of nomination for overacting.

    Act 1 Scene 8 - If All The Navkas Jumped Off A Cliff Would You Do It Too?

    With her lover gone and in a million depressions, Navka scales a bridge which probably isn't the best idea when you are wearing ice skates. She's about to jump off when Angel Tikhonov appears and persuades her not to. Or reminds her that she forgot to turn the oven off at home. Navka lives!

    TBC
    To think that fun is simple fun, while earnest things are earnest, proves all too plain that neither one thou truthfully discernest.

  9. #69
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    Loving it
    Can't skate but love to watch

  10. #70
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    Hands off my Navka! New rep level? X needs to get their hands off allezfred's Navka! Or something.

  11. #71
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    Bumping this up in hopes that fred will finish it.
    If this is to end in fire
    Then we will all burn together

  12. #72

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    This is priceless. Can't wait to read the rest. Thanks so much, allezfred!

  13. #73
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    I was banned from the living room by my daughter and husband because I was laughing so hard. waiting breathlessly for the grande finale!

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    Act 2 Scene 1 - Would You Adam & Eve It?

    Inventor Vanagas is finally ready to introduce his latest creations Cyborg Adam & Cyborg Eve to his friends/those who would come to the opening of an envelope. These robots have human emotions which means that because they are surrounded by skaters they'll soon start partying and bedhopping. Angel Tikhonov is a cater waiter for the night for some reason and he spills a tray of champagne flutes on the Mr. & Mrs. Borg. Ooops! The cheap fizz causes a short circuit and the Borgs try to kill each other and then Inventor Vanagas. The guests are so like whatevs and leave the party.

    Act 2 Scene 2 - Return of the Wandering Slut

    Housewife Drobiazko comes home. Probably because whoever she ended up with couldn't stand the scratching any more. She reconciles with Inventor as misery loves company and they need to think of their child belatedly. All is well that ends well until the next celebrity skating show anyway.

    Act 2 Scene 3 - Another Suitcase In Another Hall

    Bar Slut Navka isn't going to take things lying down any more. Which will be a nice change. She has packed her bags and is going off in search of a new life. Gambler Yagudin is racked with guilt over killing Poor Boy Kostomarov (bit late for that now buddy!) and tries to persuade her to give him one more try. Navka is having none of it and is going to find Him. That'll be the third gravestone on the left then, love.

    TBC
    To think that fun is simple fun, while earnest things are earnest, proves all too plain that neither one thou truthfully discernest.

  15. #75

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    Fred, this is priceless

  16. #76
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    Love it!
    If this is to end in fire
    Then we will all burn together

  17. #77
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    Act 2 Scene 4 – Firestarter! Twisted Firestarter!

    Gambler Yagudin is all by himself after his Navka has flown the coop. He fancies a bit of pyro so he burns anything that comes to hand – photos, letters, evidence he ever skated “One Banana”. And burns his casino down proving that skaters (and I’m looking at you Kurt Browning) should never play with fire!

    Act 2 Scene 5 – I Feel Like Chicken Tonight

    Busy city street with coming and going than a Plushenko footwork sequence. Salesman Marinin dressed in a chicken suit is trying to sell his books, but no-one is buying. It’s probably because he doesn’t carry “Fifty Shades of Grey”. Since the whole saving lives hasn’t worked out exactly too well, Angel Tikhonov is trying his hand at busking. Chicken Marinin figures if he can’t sell books he may as well dance. Well there is nothing more that people love than a dancing chicken and soon his books are flying off his cart. Peasant Girl Totmianina appears on her corner and she and Marinin live happily ever after to skate in denim and with questionable hairstyles.

    Act 2 Scene 6 – Call The Police

    Angel Tikhonov has inherited Marinin’s book cart. Unbeknownst to him, selling books has become illegal in the last 10 seconds and he is pursued by acrobatic policemen.

    Act 2 Scene 7 – Midnight Train To Georgia (Which Is Close To Sochi)

    Flogging books hasn’t worked out for Angel Tikhonov so now he’s a fare inspector at a railway station. All the characters from the stories are coincidentally off on journeys. There’s Chicken Marinin and Peasant Girl Totmianina off to find another corner. Inventor Vanagas and his family are trying to get away from celebrity skating shows. Forlorn Navka is waiting it seems in vain for her true love/lust to arrive. But in a twist worthy of Bobby Ewing emerging from the shower in “Dallas”, Poor Boy Kostomarov is alive! Everyone else takes their trains, but the reunited couple stay put and shortly after seal their future together with a marriage of convenience.

    Epilogue – Skatin’ In The Rain

    Angel Tikhonov can now go home as his work here is done. Rather unnecessarily since we are in the UK, the rain has been brought inside and the cast performs some moves under a sprinkler system. Navka succeeds in having an unbroken frown from start to finish as clearly getting this kind of wet is not her favourite activity.

    The End
    To think that fun is simple fun, while earnest things are earnest, proves all too plain that neither one thou truthfully discernest.

  18. #78
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    fred!

    Thank you.
    If this is to end in fire
    Then we will all burn together

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