Well, my teenage sister Ashley, has run away for the third time. The first two times it was shortly before Christmas, and my parents knew she was at her boyfriend's house so they just drove there and brought her back the same day. This time around there isn't anything they can do because Friday was her 18th birthday.
She claims that she's depressed and "can't stand" living with my parents because they are "too strict" and are "insensitive". I personally think that's a crock of sh*t. If anything my parents have been far too lenient with her. She's the baby, she has always gotten her way, she can do no wrong. She has a sour attitude towards my parents, myself, and our other two sisters. None of us can hold a conversation with her without her saying something nasty, negative, or rude. Basically she just goes all "emo" every time the littlest thing doesn't go her way, and I think she's just using this so-called "depression" to manipulate my parents.
My parents have let her boyfriend make himself at home at their house, at the discomfort and expense of our other sisters who dislike him and feel uncomfortable with him around everyday. They asked my parents to limit his visits to 2 times a week, and they did nothing. They brought him to my apartment for a visit WITHOUT even asking me if that was ok, if it weren't for my older sister telling me about his coming I wouldn't have known. I asked my mother not to bring him, as I wanted family only time (my OWN boyfriend was not even invited for this particular visit) and she said it would be rude to un-invite him, he was like family, and brought him anyway. My parents took him out to dinner with them, on family trips and outings, and basically put out three of their other children to spoil their precious baby and her boyfriend.
My sisters and I don't like him because he has made some rude remarks about my parents "harsh rules", my two other sisters, and tells numerous lies and untrue stories. He posted on facebook that my Dad's rules were "f***ing stupid" and had said all sorts of expletives about my mother as well, and really for no reason considering how generous my parents were to him. Ashley's grades have plummeted since dating him, her behavior has worsened, and now she has put my family through endless drama threatening to kill herself and running away multiple times.
I'm at the end of my rope because as angry as I am with Ashley, I'm almost as equally angry with my parents. My sisters and I told them from the beginning he rubbed us the wrong way, and was making inappropriate comments. We told them that they should be keeping an eye on them and setting boundaries. They should talk to her about having a boyfriend for the first time, having sex, ect. They just hand waived it and said "oh she's a smart kid! She'll figure it out!" YES. She's so smart that she dropped out of high school with only 3 months to go, and dumped her family for an unwashed miscreant that has no job, no car, no education!!!
Now I have to deal with my mother whining and wailing about the whole situation. We told our parents the first two times she ran away to set boundaries, take away her computer, cell phone, ect. And they said "well she promised not to run away again!!" so they didn't even really do anything proactive to help the situation. My mom is going through menopause, and she's hysterical about it all. As much as I want to be supportive, I offered my support before, and it was thrown back in my face. I know Ashley will come back eventually when her and the loser boyfriend run out of money. I want to tell my parents if they let her back in that house they will never see me there again. I'm done with Ashley, unless or until she cleans up her act. It's not fair to my other sisters who live in the same home (one of whom has a mild autism) to have to get the shaft in favor of someone who could clearly care less about them.
At this point I don't really know what to say to my sister if she comes back, or even my mother, who I'm quite angry at, but at the same time I do feel for her. I'm trying to be supportive/understanding, but in all honesty it's really hard to not say "I TOLD YOU SO!!!!"
If anyone else has been through a similar situation, or is good with advice in general...I sure could use some