I think one of the keys for family members who become caretakers is to educate yourself and remember that it is the pathology speaking or acting. There is a reason Alzheimer's wards keep family away from the patient for a considerable time period. The staff doesn't take things personally and adhere to a schedule. Family often want the parent of their childhood back and their own frustration and anxiety can make a bad situation worse. Join a support group if one is near by. You'll learn from others in similar situations. And most of all, accept the person of today because the person of the past is gone. Once you can do that, you'll be able to deal with what comes each day.