Page 3 of 3 FirstFirst 123
Results 41 to 46 of 46
  1. #41
    Satisfied skating fan
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    Looking for a pairs team to split up
    Posts
    40,214
    vCash
    600
    Rep Power
    42549
    I think one of the keys for family members who become caretakers is to educate yourself and remember that it is the pathology speaking or acting. There is a reason Alzheimer's wards keep family away from the patient for a considerable time period. The staff doesn't take things personally and adhere to a schedule. Family often want the parent of their childhood back and their own frustration and anxiety can make a bad situation worse. Join a support group if one is near by. You'll learn from others in similar situations. And most of all, accept the person of today because the person of the past is gone. Once you can do that, you'll be able to deal with what comes each day.
    Those who never succeed themselves are always the first to tell you how.

  2. #42
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Posts
    227
    vCash
    500
    Rep Power
    0
    My mother asked to go home forever ( she can only say a few words now ) and she was in her on home. She was talking about the home she grew up in with her mom and dad. Although someone once said that they were asking to be safe. I'm not sure about that. Unplug the stove, I worked with someone who's mother caught the house on fire with the stove. I read on the alz. board about someone's father left the house and got lost. They found him lying in water and he eventually died. It's just so hard to watch them constantly and it's hard to trust others to not take advantage of them. You will never know what is the truth and what is in their minds. So sad and so very very hard.

  3. #43

    Join Date
    Nov 2002
    Location
    Colorado
    Posts
    5,962
    vCash
    500
    Rep Power
    7850
    AnnM --I'd seriously consider requesting a conservatorship so that she can't do something unreasonable with her money based on the paranoia.

  4. #44

    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Two places! Atlanta suburbs and in the North Georgia Mountains
    Posts
    3,815
    vCash
    500
    Rep Power
    2089
    I have to say this as someone in the epicenter of a dementia situation. It is so hard to do all the obvious things people tell you to do. They are right, of course. But then Dad says, "Give me another week to get that paperwork..." and it becomes a month. Or "Let's get a nurse to come in.." and it never happens even after you do the calling. If you aren't the medical executor, you have no power. Everyone gives great advice, and it is so much appreciated. But being right here....it's not that easy.

  5. #45

    Join Date
    Aug 2004
    Location
    new york
    Posts
    1,572
    vCash
    500
    Rep Power
    2066
    Quote Originally Posted by Holley Calmes View Post
    I have to say this as someone in the epicenter of a dementia situation. It is so hard to do all the obvious things people tell you to do. They are right, of course. But then Dad says, "Give me another week to get that paperwork..." and it becomes a month. Or "Let's get a nurse to come in.." and it never happens even after you do the calling. If you aren't the medical executor, you have no power. Everyone gives great advice, and it is so much appreciated. But being right here....it's not that easy.
    I've been the one given well meaning advice, and I've been the one to give it.

    You're absolutely right. Only the person directly involved knows just what's going on.

  6. #46
    Bountifully Enmeshed
    Join Date
    Apr 2001
    Location
    At the Christmas Bizarre
    Posts
    38,154
    vCash
    250
    Rep Power
    46687
    Quote Originally Posted by Holley Calmes View Post
    I have to say this as someone in the epicenter of a dementia situation. It is so hard to do all the obvious things people tell you to do. They are right, of course. But then Dad says, "Give me another week to get that paperwork..." and it becomes a month. Or "Let's get a nurse to come in.." and it never happens even after you do the calling. If you aren't the medical executor, you have no power. Everyone gives great advice, and it is so much appreciated. But being right here....it's not that easy.
    Even if you have the medical power of attorney, you cannot force your parent to see a doctor. You really can't do anything until you have an official, written diagnosis from a physician saying that the parent has dementia and is incompetent to make medical decisions. That has to be the first step, and it's usually a massive chore.

    Been there, done that, know exactly what you mean about people giving advice. But I'm going to give some anyway--focus all your attention on getting an official diagnosis of dementia. Until then, you can't do a thing. After that, all kinds of people will help. But no one can do anything for you until you have that diagnosis.
    "The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources."-- Albert Einstein.

Page 3 of 3 FirstFirst 123

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •