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  1. #41
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    Quote Originally Posted by millyskate View Post
    If neighbours are difficult, the only way is to kill them with niceness. Go round with a massive giggly friendly smile on your face, bring them some random gift ("we've been given waaay too many fruits and can't eat them all, would you like some" or something)...

    Apologize for making too much noise with your lawnmower, then as you leave ":and by the way, I wanted to ask you a maaassive favour, I'm really sorry to ask you this, I have a phobia of dog poop, and I've been finding some on my lawn. I think it must some kids from down the road with their dog, and I'm going to try and watch to catch them, but if it happens when I'm not there and you see them, could you like, tell them to pick it up.
    And I think that the other day, I know you didn't do it on purpose and it doesn't matter, but I think just once your dog did it too and because you see I'm such an idiot and I have this phobia of dog poop, I 'd really appreciate your help".

    Exit with dizzy smile of appreciation for having such wonderful neighbours. Visit other neighbours with fruit to make the point you are not singling them out.
    Why do all that? They would just laugh and think you're nuts.

  2. #42
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    Quote Originally Posted by maatTheViking View Post
    Did you actually ask them? They might not realise that it is an issue, or that the dog even does it (some peopl ehave no imagination)

    I also think, even if they are annoying people, setting up a sign, or involving the HOA *without* talking to them first is extremely passive agressive, and would annoy me to no end.
    If someone's dog was constantly pooping on my lawn, making sure they're not annoyed by my attempts to make them stop would be pretty low on my priority list.

    Granted, not having your dog poop on other people's lawn should be pretty self-explainatory, but I think to avoid a war, start by please asking them to take care of it.
    now if they don't, then give 'hints', or involve the HOA. At least you started civily.

    I know from myself that I am much less likely to follow a reasonalbe request if it is delivered in a roundabout passive agressive way than just straight up.
    In general I'd agree with you. In this case, I don't know.

    Some (and quite a few) people react very badly to confrontation, especially if it involves someone telling them they're doing something wrong. Putting up a sign seems like general, non confrontation way of sending them and everyone else a message. They will still receive the information but without feeling singled out.

    BTW, I don't see anything uncivil by putting up a sign or even contacting the HOA (that would be my last resort, though). If anything leaving your dog's poop on someone's lawn is uncivil. Slinging the poop back to the offender's yard would be uncivil, too, but not inexcusable. One could argue that since the perpetrators don't pick up their dog's poop on your lawn, they don't think having poop on a lawn is a bad thing.

    Anyway, if I had that problem I would try to resolve it in 1. the most efficient and 2. easiest for me way. If that means I would have to placate the dog's owners a little bit, I would, but I don't see a reason why I would have to get out of my way to make sure someone doesn't get annoyed by me trying to correct their bad behavior. I'm already annoyed by your bad behavior, do I care if you get annoyed by me trying to stop it? Not really.

  3. #43

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    Quote Originally Posted by WindSpirit View Post
    If someone's dog was constantly pooping on my lawn, making sure they're not annoyed by my attempts to make them stop would be pretty low on my priority list.

    In general I'd agree with you. In this case, I don't know.

    Some (and quite a few) people react very badly to confrontation, especially if it involves someone telling them they're doing something wrong. Putting up a sign seems like general, non confrontation way of sending them and everyone else a message. They will still receive the information but without feeling singled out.

    BTW, I don't see anything uncivil by putting up a sign or even contacting the HOA (that would be my last resort, though). If anything leaving your dog's poop on someone's lawn is uncivil. Slinging the poop back to the offender's yard would be uncivil, too, but not inexcusable. One could argue that since the perpetrators don't pick up their dog's poop on your lawn, they don't think having poop on a lawn is a bad thing.

    Anyway, if I had that problem I would try to resolve it in 1. the most efficient and 2. easiest for me way. If that means I would have to placate the dog's owners a little bit, I would, but I don't see a reason why I would have to get out of my way to make sure someone doesn't get annoyed by me trying to correct their bad behavior. I'm already annoyed by your bad behavior, do I care if you get annoyed by me trying to stop it? Not really.
    Well I see what you mean, putting up a sign is sure nice and civil

    But, IMO, I am not sure it will correct the behavior - in my mind they might rationalize that it doesn't apply to them, or their dog doesn't do it, or they might become spiteful by a sublte approch.

    another way to spin my suggestion was to tell them that you have this issue, and let you know if they see any dogs doing it! That might make them change the behavior without 'loosing face'.

    I guess it really depends on the personality types of the persons involved.
    Last edited by maatTheViking; 05-25-2012 at 04:40 AM.

  4. #44

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    Quote Originally Posted by WindSpirit View Post
    If someone's dog was constantly pooping on my lawn, making sure they're not annoyed by my attempts to make them stop would be pretty low on my priority list.
    It really depends on whose yard it is.

    I got involved in an abused dog situation some years ago and the result of that was a neighbour burning down my husband's car - a vintage convertable - and a second arson attempt on one of our vehicles. Of course we could never prove it, but we knew who it was.

    We had just moved here and didn't know this neighbour four houses down. When they got their new puppy I could see the dog from my porch and went over to say hello. Only later did I realize that the dog was of those condemned to a life in the backyard tethered to a short chain and that the owner had had one such other dog for many years, which he beat with a 2 by 4 when he tried to breed it.

    After meeting me, the puppy would cry when he saw me come out on the porch. I went over to bring him a blanket one night when it was freezing and had the misfortune of meeting the owner, who subsequently blamed me when the dog disappeared. I didn't take the dog, but did tip off a Rotti rescue (the dog was a Rotti Doberman cross).

    In retrospect I dearly wish I had been subversive rather than up front. I'm relieved I didn't have to live for years observing an abused/neglected dog down the street, but wish we hadn't had to pay a price for my naivete. And, we were just very lucky that the owner/neighbour didn't poison our dog - or do something to us - but instead went for the cars.

    In short, some neighbours should be feared rather than confronted.
    Last edited by Japanfan; 05-25-2012 at 06:55 AM.

  5. #45
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    Quote Originally Posted by Japanfan View Post
    It really depends on whose yard it is.

    I got involved in an abused dog situation some years ago and the result of that was a neighbour burning down my husband's car - a vintage convertable - and a second arson attempt on one of our vehicles. Of course we could never prove it, but we knew who it was.

    We had just moved here and didn't know this neighbour four houses down. When they got their new puppy I could see the dog from my porch and went over to say hello. Only later did I realize that the dog was of those condemned to a life in the backyard tethered to a short chain and that the owner had had one such other dog for many years, which he beat with a 2 by 4 when he tried to breed it.

    After meeting me, the puppy would cry when he saw me come out on the porch. I went over to bring him a blanket one night when it was freezing and had the misfortune of meeting the owner, who subsequently blamed me when the dog disappeared. I didn't take the dog, but did tip off a Rotti rescue (the dog was a Rotti Doberman cross).

    In retrospect I dearly wish I had been subversive rather than up front. I'm relieved I didn't have to live for years observing an abused/neglected dog down the street, but wish we hadn't had to pay a price for my naivete. And, we were just very lucky that the owner/neighbour didn't poison our dog - or do something to us - but instead went for the cars.

    In short, some neighbours should be feared rather than confronted.
    Did you get the police involved?

  6. #46
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    Here's an example of how NOT to handle the situation:

    My daughter & I were walking our dogs one evening last week. We live on a nice boulevard street that has the park in the center. A newer neighbor we don't know approached us as we walked in the park by her house demanding to know if we had bags for our dogs, because "someone" had stepped in poop in the park, or someone might step in it sometime in the future, blah, blah, blah...

    My daughter said "Yes we do, as always. Thanks for reminding us."
    But she couldn't help sounding a little sarcastic since the woman couldn't tell that the female dog was squatting to pee, not poop.

    I pointed out being confrontational & intrusive is probably not the best approach for the results she wants to achieve, so she might want to reserve such comments toward neighbors she hasn't met yet until *after* the dog had actually done her business & there is some kind of problem. I also let her know we also pick up trash whenever we see it in the park, and feed, fertilize & trim the rose bush in front of our house so it blooms nicely all summer long, and in return we only ask to be able to enjoy our evening walk around the park without being rudely interrupted.

    Most people in my neighborhood have pets and are a lot more relaxed & cooperative. I guess I should be glad I haven't had a neighbor like that one yet, but I hope she's not going to be an on-going nuisance because she doesn't like pets.

  7. #47

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    Quote Originally Posted by maatTheViking View Post
    Did you actually ask them? They might not realise that it is an issue, or that the dog even does it (some peopl ehave no imagination)

    I also think, even if they are annoying people, setting up a sign, or involving the HOA *without* talking to them first is extremely passive agressive, and would annoy me to no end.
    Granted, not having your dog poop on other people's lawn should be pretty self-explainatory, but I think to avoid a war, start by please asking them to take care of it.
    now if they don't, then give 'hints', or involve the HOA. At least you started civily.

    I know from myself that I am much less likely to follow a reasonalbe request if it is delivered in a roundabout passive agressive way than just straight up.
    According to my local police this is a bad idea. I've been told never to talk to neighbors if they are doing something inconsiderant that is against the law/ordinance. They say to call the Code Compliance dept & report it. The police will talk to your neighbor about it & the 1st time won't cite them. But now it's on record that they've been warned. Another up side to doing it this way is that they are less likely to retaliate against you since they don't know who reported them.

    I have neighbors behind me (our driveways both back onto an alley) who often park cars partly behind my driveway making it hard for me to back out. When they 1st moved here I went over to talk to them. I thought maybe they weren't aware this was a problem for me. After I was cussed out & told I was a stupid bitch who shouldn't be driving if I didn't know how to back, I did call the police. I was told it's legal to park in the alley but not directly behind someone's drive. I can have them towed. But they are such unpleasant people in other ways that I am afraid of what they would do to my property since they would know it was me reporting them. I just back & turn, back & turn, until I can get out of my drive. Maybe I should just back up real fast & crash into the side of their car.

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