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  1. #81

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    Goodness Jenny had a very rough time. I knew about the bulimia but
    not the cutting. Her blog entries certainly is powerful stuff. I commend her for having the courage to write and publish what she went through.

    Thanks for posting Sylvia.

  2. #82

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    Jennifers blog is so candid and moving, as a one time bulimia sufferer it struck a chord and I hope her ability to share her story so openly all help others realise they can move forward and beat this disease and more importantly find ways to learn to build self esteem.

  3. #83
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    I am so impressed with her blog now. She has really grown up. Good luck to her.
    I will not be ignored! -Me

  4. #84

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    Holy cow, the crap that girl has been through. It's a miracle she survived.
    Charter member of the "We Always Believed in Ashley" Club and the "We Believe in Ricky" Club
    Old, lonely, pathos-hungry, and extremely gullible

  5. #85

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    gifted woman

    Jenny is a beautiful young woman with a unique gift for writting about the difficulties of life in a warm communicative way for others to share, contemplate, and learn from. Very special person, who in my opinion has earned a gold medal for each blog, and that is at the World level.
    Marci

  6. #86

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    Reading Jenny's blogs always makes me terribly upset. It's great that she's sharing these emotions and experiences but my heart aches for her. And I'm not saying these experiences are exaggerated or untrue, but I'm always sad that her experience as a skater comes across as being so negative. It doesn't have to be that way. I myself was an elite skater, I know many elite skaters that competed to the highest level, including the Olympics, and most of them aren't so miserable. Yes, skating is brutal and unforgiving but usually there is an underlying sense of love for the sport. I never feel the love for skating from Jenny's posts, obligation yes, need to please yes, but not so much the love.

    It's such a shame, it's a beautiful sport that can give you so many opportunities and make you feel so... amazing. There were plenty of painful moments and sacrifices for me, but in the end I'm so happy for all the time I spent in the rink. I wouldn't trade it for the world. In my experience, that's what it's like for most skaters, otherwise no one would stick with it. I hope that people don't read this and think this is how it has to be. If your experience is like this, there's something wrong. Skating shouldn't be an exercise in torture, it shouldn't be something you regret for the rest of your life. It should be something that enriches your life, not ruins it. I'm so sorry Jenny sees it that way.

  7. #87

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    ^^^
    Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

  8. #88

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    Quote Originally Posted by Wyliefan View Post
    Holy cow, the crap that girl has been through. It's a miracle she survived.
    No kidding. I am that when her parents and coaches found out about her eating disorder, she didn't get any help. What kind of foolishness is that? Even if she was managing to skate well regardless, no accomplishment in skating is worth the sacrifice of your child's or student's long-term health.
    You should never write words with numbers. Unless you're seven. Or your name is Prince. - "Weird Al" Yankovic, "Word Crimes"

  9. #89
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    Quote Originally Posted by triple_toe View Post
    Reading Jenny's blogs always makes me terribly upset. It's great that she's sharing these emotions and experiences but my heart aches for her. And I'm not saying these experiences are exaggerated or untrue, but I'm always sad that her experience as a skater comes across as being so negative. It doesn't have to be that way. I myself was an elite skater, I know many elite skaters that competed to the highest level, including the Olympics, and most of them aren't so miserable. Yes, skating is brutal and unforgiving but usually there is an underlying sense of love for the sport. I never feel the love for skating from Jenny's posts, obligation yes, need to please yes, but not so much the love.

    It's such a shame, it's a beautiful sport that can give you so many opportunities and make you feel so... amazing. There were plenty of painful moments and sacrifices for me, but in the end I'm so happy for all the time I spent in the rink. I wouldn't trade it for the world. In my experience, that's what it's like for most skaters, otherwise no one would stick with it. I hope that people don't read this and think this is how it has to be. If your experience is like this, there's something wrong. Skating shouldn't be an exercise in torture, it shouldn't be something you regret for the rest of your life. It should be something that enriches your life, not ruins it. I'm so sorry Jenny sees it that way.
    This latest post hit the exact problem, though, didn't it? It was all about pleasing her mother. And whether it was her mother's intention or not, what she communicated to Jenny was that winning skating comps was the way she earned maternal love and losing them meant she wouldn't have it. It is extremely sad. But that kind of dysfunction is not isolated to skating or elite sports. I had high school students who felt like they had to get straight A's and academic accolades to earn their parents' love and approval. There was one family where the two daughters had eating disorders and one wrote a poem for my English class about how she, her sister and brother had to compete to win the most honors and awards because whoever had the most would win their parents' love. And it had nothing to do with sports. Any time parents live through their children's achievements, no matter what area it is in, things can end up this way and kids can be damaged.

  10. #90

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    Quote Originally Posted by triple_toe View Post
    Reading Jenny's blogs always makes me terribly upset. It's great that she's sharing these emotions and experiences but my heart aches for her. And I'm not saying these experiences are exaggerated or untrue, but I'm always sad that her experience as a skater comes across as being so negative. It doesn't have to be that way. I myself was an elite skater, I know many elite skaters that competed to the highest level, including the Olympics, and most of them aren't so miserable. Yes, skating is brutal and unforgiving but usually there is an underlying sense of love for the sport. I never feel the love for skating from Jenny's posts, obligation yes, need to please yes, but not so much the love.

    It's such a shame, it's a beautiful sport that can give you so many opportunities and make you feel so... amazing. There were plenty of painful moments and sacrifices for me, but in the end I'm so happy for all the time I spent in the rink. I wouldn't trade it for the world. In my experience, that's what it's like for most skaters, otherwise no one would stick with it. I hope that people don't read this and think this is how it has to be. If your experience is like this, there's something wrong. Skating shouldn't be an exercise in torture, it shouldn't be something you regret for the rest of your life. It should be something that enriches your life, not ruins it. I'm so sorry Jenny sees it that way.
    Everyone has different experiences but it is the combination of all those posting about those experiences that can provide a semblence of balance. Whilst it is very uncomfortable for yourself to read these, what she is writing will probably help many who are in the same situation.
    When you are up to your arse in alligators it is difficult to remember you were only meant to be draining the swamp.

  11. #91

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    Quote Originally Posted by triple_toe View Post
    Reading Jenny's blogs always makes me terribly upset. It's great that she's sharing these emotions and experiences but my heart aches for her. And I'm not saying these experiences are exaggerated or untrue, but I'm always sad that her experience as a skater comes across as being so negative. It doesn't have to be that way. I myself was an elite skater, I know many elite skaters that competed to the highest level, including the Olympics, and most of them aren't so miserable. Yes, skating is brutal and unforgiving but usually there is an underlying sense of love for the sport. I never feel the love for skating from Jenny's posts, obligation yes, need to please yes, but not so much the love.

    It's such a shame, it's a beautiful sport that can give you so many opportunities and make you feel so... amazing. There were plenty of painful moments and sacrifices for me, but in the end I'm so happy for all the time I spent in the rink. I wouldn't trade it for the world. In my experience, that's what it's like for most skaters, otherwise no one would stick with it. I hope that people don't read this and think this is how it has to be. If your experience is like this, there's something wrong. Skating shouldn't be an exercise in torture, it shouldn't be something you regret for the rest of your life. It should be something that enriches your life, not ruins it. I'm so sorry Jenny sees it that way.
    I wouldn't really connect her struggles too much with the skating world. Female + self-image problems + eating disorder + self-harm to release pressure + alcohol abuse + interpersonal problems --- if a patient came to me with this story, my reaction would not be "the external factors of your life cause your problems". While I believe that certain aspects of the skating world can fuel certain problems (and probably did here) and that a certain style of parenting can also contribute to the outbreak of disorders, this whole story sounds more like an underlying personality structure, that might have caused problems no matter what.

    That is not supposed to take away from Ms. Kirk. Everyone who educates others honestly and openly about mental health problems is a hero in my book. And this lady got herself help, she got better and now educates others and generally wants people to be more open about their problems. Kudos to her.

  12. #92

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    I'm not in any way saying she shouldn't be writing these or that they won't help anyone. I'm just saying it's too bad her experiences were so negative when there is the potential for so much joy to be gained from skating. I think it's important to understand that her circumstances were exceptional and stemmed from beyond the skating world, and that this kind of thing should never be thought of as normal. My heart goes out to the poor girl, she's really been through the wringer and it's awful that figure skating has brought her so much grief.

    Jenny only knows her own experiences and I only know mine. I just think people should be aware that the horrible, horrible experiences she describes are no where near acceptable and if things like this are happening, someone needs to put a stop to it. It's not ok, it's not "normal". Is figure skating easy? No. It's almost impossibly hard at times, emotionally and physically. But it shouldn't be like this.

    ETA: Gil-Galad, I agree 100% with your post.

  13. #93

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    Not to speak for Jenny, but I have seen posts by her about how much she loves skating...for the sake of skating. I believe it was competition that contributed to her problems. I also like how Jenny takes personal responsibility for her behavior.

  14. #94
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    A few months before I quit skating, my dad and coaches found out about my eating disorder, but nothing was done to get me the help I needed
    WTF!?!

  15. #95

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sparks View Post
    Not to speak for Jenny, but I have seen posts by her about how much she loves skating...for the sake of skating.
    I get that sense from her too.
    Charter member of the "We Always Believed in Ashley" Club and the "We Believe in Ricky" Club
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  16. #96
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    Amazing both she and Lucinda Ruh not only both survived, but are as optimistic as they are.
    In my spare time, I like to interview figure skating legends.

  17. #97
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    Quote Originally Posted by manleywoman View Post
    Amazing both she and Lucinda Ruh not only both survived, but are as optimistic as they are.
    Same.

    Great that Jenny has channelled her experiences into a blossoming career as a journalist, too.

    I hope her essays become a compendium of sorts in the near future.

  18. #98

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    Quote Originally Posted by essence_of_soy View Post
    Great that Jenny has channelled her experiences into a blossoming career as a journalist, too.
    It is in her genes. Her dad is a producer for Frontline on PBS, with an impressive record.

    http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn...041203999.html
    Creating drama!

  19. #99
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    Quote Originally Posted by berthesghost View Post
    WTF!?!
    Very sad when you know her coaches were someone who became a "life" coach and the other one was a legendary and experienced coach at that point. She has worked with the very best in the business and in my opinion coaches need better training on how to deal with eating disorders.

  20. #100
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    The striking thing about all this to me is that she said that no one said she was overweight- she simply fell into the disorder pattern as a last resort of control. Again, I'm sure that this is an extreme case as far as what members of the skating community deal with every day, but I wonder how many more are out there. Perhaps it is more than we think...

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