Jennifer Kirk's blog: "... skating taught me far more than winning and losing"

**Aussie Willy** · 04-30-2012, 04:57 AM

She really is an excellent writer. Straight forward, very articulate and gets the message across very well. Her experience is something that many could relate to and is a really good lesson for life. I hope she has great success with her career.

**winterone** · 04-30-2012, 01:03 PM

q

**Sparks** · 04-30-2012, 09:47 PM

Jenny's latest BLOG

**fenway2** · 04-30-2012, 10:33 PM

I would love to see Jennifer sign a book deal. She has wonderful writing skills and a great skating memoir in her.

**Aussie Willy** · 04-30-2012, 11:14 PM

Totally agree. So many skaters and parents could learn from her experiences.

**mgobluegirl** · 05-01-2012, 02:05 AM

Originally Posted by Aussie Willy

Totally agree. So many skaters and parents could learn from her experiences.

She writes well, and I've enjoyed reading her entries so far, but I really hope skating parents do not read this. I have years of immensely positive memories and experiences that I'd hate for skaters to miss out on because their parents read something like this about skating when they were just starting out in the sport. Not everyone's experience carries these kinds of scars.

I hope writing this blog turns out to be a good healing process for Kirk.

**PDilemma** · 05-01-2012, 04:27 AM

Originally Posted by mgobluegirl

She writes well, and I've enjoyed reading her entries so far, but I really hope skating parents do not read this. I have years of immensely positive memories and experiences that I'd hate for skaters to miss out on because their parents read something like this about skating when they were just starting out in the sport. Not everyone's experience carries these kinds of scars.

I hope writing this blog turns out to be a good healing process for Kirk.

She tends to project her experiences as being the universal experiences of all skaters. I can't see that every skater in history has been motivated so strongly by pleasing a coach. Champions like Kwan, Plush, Slutskaya, Chan, etc...seem to have been very intrinsically motivated to prove themselves not please someone at the boards.

Her blog indicates that Jenny has a people-pleasing personality. I'm sure some other skaters have/do as well. But I highly doubt all of them do.

RD · 05-01-2012, 04:36 AM

It would be interesting to get perspectives of other skaters (or in this case, coaches too). I think she's attempting to heal past wounds by so openly sharing these experiences with us, but I think her overall point would be made stronger if she sought input from other skaters who had similar experiences, felt the same way, or could chime in with their thoughts.

**IceAlisa** · 05-01-2012, 04:47 AM

Originally Posted by PDilemma

She tends to project her experiences as being the universal experiences of all skaters. I can't see that every skater in history has been motivated so strongly by pleasing a coach. Champions like Kwan, Plush, Slutskaya, Chan, etc...seem to have been very intrinsically motivated to prove themselves not please someone at the boards.

Her blog indicates that Jenny has a people-pleasing personality. I'm sure some other skaters have/do as well. But I highly doubt all of them do.

Her blog doesn't indicate that anyone other than herself was trying to please their coaches. When she talks about Kwan she talks about her battle with Perfection, a very different thing. If you recall, Kwan didn't have a coach at the time of her performance at 2002 Olympics.

**PDilemma** · 05-01-2012, 04:53 AM

Originally Posted by IceAlisa

Her blog doesn't indicate that anyone other than herself was trying to please their coaches. When she talks about Kwan she talks about her battle with Perfection, a very different thing. If you recall, Kwan didn't have a coach at the time of her performance at 2002 Olympics.

She makes general statements like these:

Skaters want to please their coaches so badly.

A skater is skating to win not only for him- or herself but always for their coach. Like the relationship so many of us have with our parents, skaters grow up with the innate desire to feel a coach’s love and respect.

**IceAlisa** · 05-01-2012, 04:59 AM

Exactly. This is a general statement. She doesn't name names, just explains the dynamic that I would imagine is common.

**Aussie Willy** · 05-01-2012, 05:30 AM

I think she hits the nail on the head with regards skater relationships with coaches. I have seen so many skaters stay with coaches out of loyalty and obligation rather than the skater truly benefitting out of what the coach is giving them. And sometimes these relationships can be quite disfunctional. It is not just about top level skaters but what I have seen at my local rink.

**skateboy** · 05-01-2012, 06:13 AM

Loved the article. I wish more former competitors felt comfortable discussing their careers--demons and all.

**paskatefan** · 05-01-2012, 10:37 AM

Welcome back to blogging, Jenny!

**Wyliefan** · 05-01-2012, 03:29 PM

Interesting comment from Ricky Dornbush on her piece. He has a good point about learning to work for oneself instead of pleasing the coach. But some of us, I suspect, are the type who are always going to want to please the coach, or the teacher, or the boss. When you're built that way, it's hard to change. I can understand where Jenny was coming from and how devastating it must have been.

Also, remembering what a strong relationship Paul Wylie had with the Scotvolds, I wonder if Evy was just better at coaching male skaters than female ones?

**Yazmeen** · 05-01-2012, 03:45 PM

Gee, was Paul put up on the scale and weighed like Nancy and Jennifer, or did Evy just do that to humiliate his female students into staying thin (and I'm being serious here, not sarcastic, I do wonder about that)?

That entry was presented very beautifully, and fairly, it was certainly not "Evy was a monster" and Jenny and angel. Again, very glad to have her back blogging. I also enjoyed former US competitor Eve Chalom's comments to this blog entry.

**Wyliefan** · 05-01-2012, 03:50 PM

Originally Posted by Yazmeen

Gee, was Paul put up on the scale and weighed like Nancy and Jennifer, or did Evy just do that to humiliate his female students into staying thin (and I'm being serious here, not sarcastic, I do wonder about that)?

That is a good question.

**taf2002** · 05-01-2012, 03:51 PM

Originally Posted by mgobluegirl

She writes well, and I've enjoyed reading her entries so far, but I really hope skating parents do not read this. I have years of immensely positive memories and experiences that I'd hate for skaters to miss out on because their parents read something like this about skating when they were just starting out in the sport. Not everyone's experience carries these kinds of scars.

I hope writing this blog turns out to be a good healing process for Kirk.

I'm not sure I understand your reasoning. If a coach is giving their skaters good experiences & not abusing them, then parents will not intervene & take the skater away from the coach. But I don't see the harm in making parents wary & watchful.

**DickButtonFan** · 05-01-2012, 04:02 PM

It doesn't even make logical sense to refuse a skater to go on the ice if they aren't a certain weight. How are they going to lose any weight then? And I would like to know if Paul was weighted in too.

**NancyNC** · 05-01-2012, 04:23 PM

Originally Posted by DickButtonFan

It doesn't even make logical sense to refuse a skater to go on the ice if they aren't a certain weight. How are they going to lose any weight then?

How? By developing an eating disorder? Or by running for hours on the beach until they have blisters so painful that they have to use ice to numb them before they can wear their skates? Those are just two things that Jenny mentions in the article.

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