How to deal with disapointment (Dancers please chime in!)

[Smiley0884]

OK, so I had a really big dance audition this past Saturday, something I've been preparing all year for, and totally bombed I didn't get adequate rest, wasn't eating right, and my body just gave out. UGH. I'm really beating myself up over this. I can't concentrate at work, and keep playing the situation in my head over and over.

Any dancers here, how did you deal with completely blanking on choreography under pressure situations? I definitely want to go for it again next year, but I can't go to this audition the same way I did this year.

Anyone here ever just have a huge flop in general? How did you deal with it? Any advice would be greatly appreciated

[Aceon6]

Bombed my dance company audition as a college freshman. I think I was too amped and never actually "got" the choreo before it was my turn to solo. I was disappointed for a long time as I knew that I probably wouldn't get a fair eval if I tried again, having been so bad the first time. After a while, the embarrassment faded and I had success with other things.

[genevieve]

I just brushed it off and went back to work.

Think about what you can use from the experience to be better next time - such as making sure you have gotten enough rest and eaten well leading up to the audition. It's all learning. I know it can suck if you live somewhere where there aren't a lot of auditions, or this is the only big paying gig in town or whatever, but obsessing over what went wrong isn't going to help.

Seattle isn't much of an audition town - I used to go to every audition I could make, even when I wasn't interested in the project, just to get used to auditioning and to rejection. And afterwards, I'd commiserate with friends of mine who also hadn't made it

There will be other opportunities, just keep going to class and working on whatever projects come your way. Good luck to you!

[Rob]

Everyone has crappy auditions so you are not alone. My biggest strength as a dancer was that I could learn choreography and remember it after seeing it once. My biggest weakness was that I did not have the prototypical dancers body, and I was not good at dropping 5 for an audition. So I had more than my share of disappointments. You just have to take an "I'll get it/show you next time" attitude and keep plowing along. One thing you might think about -- if you tend to dwell on disappointments or even set yourself up for them (self sabotage - fear of success), or if you tend to suffer from nerves in auditions (which can make you forget the choreography), you might consider some sort of coaching -- like sport psychology or even non-dance job-related coaching that touches on these themes. I took coaching for public speaking, which was not my thing at all -- I used to go totally blank. It worked wonders. I don't just tolerate public speaking now -- I actually like it.

[Smiley0884]

Thanks guys It's nice to hear from other dancers or performers, since while my family and boyfriend have been supportive, they don't really "get" it. I went to this same audition last year for the first time, and while I didn't get picked, I still made it pretty far along in the selection process, and even after not being picked I felt positive about the experience, and hopeful for "next time". It was a huge let down to not make it as far as I did last year, but I know I only have myself to blame.

I probably shouldn't be, but I'm still kind of obsessing since there's a teeny possibility of my being called back this week for a non dancing opportunity (which I would still take in a heart beat).

The worst part is I messed up my OWN choreography that I've been working on for months! Now I know I need to get my head together and stop obsessing and losing sleep (literally!) over small details that don't matter as much as the actual dancing does.

[Garden Kitty]

Not a dancer, but I've done the same kind of thing on other "big auditions" such as interview or presentation opportunity. I agree with what everyone else has said. It may sound trite, but you can only use it as a learning opportunity to make yourself that much better next time. And try not to beat yourself up, everyone has an off day- even when it's supposed to be a big day. I'm sure everyone who is a "success" can share a similar story. Most big skaters have an event they'd just like to forget.

[mkats]

I used to think about my favorite skaters who completely wiped out at a competition and still came back to do well later (Sasha at that cheesefest right before the 2004 GPF, for example...) and know that not all hope is lost for future opportunities.

Good luck

[Angelskates]

I didn't get adequate rest, wasn't eating right, and my body just gave out.

You know that this was wrong, so fix it for next time; start a proper training plan. Also, it's good to try and get watched before the audition by as many people as possible - dance teachers, friends, family. Especially if you're not comfortable dancing in front of them, and if they can critique you.

Is it possible to ask for more information about why you didn't get further? You say it's because you "idn't get adequate rest, wasn't eating right, and my body just gave out", but what did that look like? There were probably other things too, more related to how you actually danced, and those things are always useful to know; little technique things etc. Video and critique yourself if you need to.

I'm sure you know that beating yourself up isn't going to help, so go out to dinner to celebrate it being over, and the start of a new training year. If you think it will take a full year to prepare for the next one, start that plan now - write it down including breaks and down time. It's always good to get advice on training plans, right down to sleeping and rest days, so see if you know anyone who can offer you this Also, get in as much contact as possible, with non-dancing opportunities (it sounds like you're already doing this) still in the dance world.

[mkats]

If you think it will take a full year to prepare for the next one, start that plan now - write it down including breaks and down time. It's always good to get advice on training plans, right down to sleeping and rest days, so see if you know anyone who can offer you this

I remember reading that Moskvina had training plans for her skaters written out, starting 365 days before the Olympics - every single day!

[Aussie Willy]

It is probably worth putting things in perspective to help deal with disappointment. It is only one day in your whole life and whilst at the time it can really eat at you, you will move on, find other opportunities and learn from the experience.

Also having been a driving instructor and skating judge, I have dealt with disappointed students so many times after tests. But usually they didn't pass for the right reasons, not the wrong reasons. And they were generally unprepared to cope with the situation. The best students who passed are the ones who are so well-prepared that they could rise above their nerves and all the other stuff around them and get through it.

I have seen very few students who don't pass the second time.

[dinakt]

Not a dancer here, but I've done auditions a lot. Smiley0884- do you have any chance to do other auditions throughout the year, apart from the yearly "big one'? Often a part of the game is getting used to the idea of being judged on a regular basis. When it happens very rarely, the amount of pressure we put on ourselves can be overwhelming. Even if there are no chances for auditions, perhaps you could put your body and mind through simulated "audition routines", to get used to the nerves, the sleepless nights, the rush of adrenaline. Imagine you are auditioning on day X, and run the routine as you would do it- diet, sleep, practice... Some people are self- assured enough to brush the stress off, the rest of us have to deal. Also, find the "checks" within the routine to remind your body what to do if you blank out- it's engaging a different, more rational/analytical part of mind, to carry you through if body memory gives out.
As for flops- yes. The first year I auditioned I could not sleep at all before the audition days, and as a result got so stressed out about not being rested that nothing would go well. Then, with the repetition, one learns that one can function even with no sleep ( and as a result I started sleeping again- because I realized it would not automatically break me). But it took time. Putting everything into ONE audition is tough.

[Aussie Willy]

Often a part of the game is getting used to the idea of being judged on a regular basis. When it is happens very rarely, an amount of pressure we put on ourselves can be overwhelming.

This is a really good point. Sometimes we may only do things once in a while which is not the best way to prepare.

[ballettmaus]

You know that this was wrong, so fix it for next time; start a proper training plan. Also, it's good to try and get watched before the audition by as many people as possible - dance teachers, friends, family. Especially if you're not comfortable dancing in front of them, and if they can critique you.

Is it possible to ask for more information about why you didn't get further? You say it's because you "idn't get adequate rest, wasn't eating right, and my body just gave out", but what did that look like? There were probably other things too, more related to how you actually danced, and those things are always useful to know; little technique things etc. Video and critique yourself if you need to.

None of that will prevent one from having an "off day" because something as simple as the weather can give you an "off day". Which happened to me today. Weather went from lower thirties to mid-sixties in a day and just the mere thought of moving made me tired today and I felt like I was all over the place in terms of placement.
It's those days you gotta have to push through though in order not to suck when it happens during an audition. Just keep going and fight for turns, jumps etc, when you have a crappy day in class.
And, as others pointed out before, do every single audition that you have the opportunity to do whether you want the job or not.

Definitely keep on dancing even though you're disappointed. Make yourself go and train and just enjoy class and the dancing you get to do in class. Maybe set yourself small goals in class, like adding another turn to your pirouettes or add beats to small jumps, whatever, to have a challenge and also, when it works out, the feel of achievement and that you're going somewhere.
Put everything you have into combinations and grow as a dancer.

Hope you'll get that non-dancing job.

[Angelskates]

None of that will prevent one from having an "off day" because something as simple as the weather can give you an "off day".

Where did I say that it would? The OP could be hit by a bus before the audition begins. There are no guarantees in life, but there are things you can do to better your chances at getting what you want. And I believe all of the things I mentioned will help Smiley0884 do that. There are things that can help you work through "off days" - and you need to work out what that is for you; for some it's resting, for some it's training differently, for some it's working through the "blah" as if it's a regular day, for some (like me), it means making an extra effort to look as if I'm feeling great, and for some it's working twice as hard. Personally, I think blaming the weather for not getting an audition (or having a bad day) is an excuse, because I do think we are in control in how we react to things and we can never be in control of the weather, but we are in control of if we let the weather (or anything else) decide how we're going to feel. Of course, there are exceptions to this, but in general, I think letting outside forces dictate how we're going to feel (or how well we're going to do at things) is a choice for most people.

Smiley0884 needs to think of WHY she didn't eat right and didn't rest up when she knew they were the right things to do for her to prepare. Like another poster said, this is a learning experience.

[ballettmaus]

Where did I say that it would?

I wasn't meaning you had said that, I just had the impression that the OP was concerned about how to avoid an "off day" and I feel there's no way to avoid one, really.

Personally, I think blaming the weather for not getting an audition (or having a bad day) is an excuse, because I do think we are in control in how we react to things and we can never be in control of the weather, but we are in control of if we let the weather (or anything else) decide how we're going to feel.

Well, I may be able to eat an apple or drink caffeine to get my blood pressure up when something like the weather makes it drop but none of that lasts and none of that is going to give my body the energy it lacks. That's something one has to fight through.

And I wasn't meaning that the weather should be blamed, I was just using it as an example to point out how you can be prepared and in the best shape of your life and then something happens the day of that audition and all your preparation goes down the drain. It's all mental then, not physical, because you need to push through the exhaustion or whatever it is and that starts in the head.

[Angelskates]

It's all mental then, not physical, because you need to push through the exhaustion or whatever it is and that starts in the head.

But there are ways of mentally planning as well right? Obviously, there's no exact science (especially for tragedies), but there are definitely strategies one can use to mentally prepare for things, as well as physically prepare for things.

But that's why I asked to OP try to and figure out why she didn't do the things she knew were the right things to do (eat right, rest), because until she does that, it'll be hard to move forward. I don't think the problem is that she didn't eat right or rest well, I think it's that she didn't eat right or rest well, despite knowing she should. Anxiety, self-sabotage, fear of failure, immaturity, inexperience, not caring, not having a plan, or a number of other things - they may be a reason for someone not to do something they know they should do like this, and they're more important to get to the bottom of then actually fixing the "easy" problem.

[Ozzisk8tr]

I had tricks I would use at auditions that would make me stand out. I learnt this after the first couple I did when people who were way less talented than me got the job and I didn't. For example, at the Australasian tour audition for 42nd st there were hundreds and hundreds of dancers that auditioned around the country, so I loosened my tap right before we danced and lo and behold my tap flew off my shoe and they stopped the audition for me. I was most apologetic and they said not to worry as it was just one of those things. They told me to go attach it and join in when I was ready. I fiddled around with my shoe for about 5 - 7 minutes and really watched and learnt the choree, while checking out the competition too. I got the job. Afterwards (during the tour) the stage manager told me they all remembered me as the one whose tap flew off and it was mentioned a lot when they were casting. She laughed but was surprised when I told her I planned the whole thing. I would not recommend this technique to everyone, but it has worked for me time and rime again. I have a funny story about my experience with Susan Stroman at the Australian Crazy for You audition too, ooh, just remembered a funny one from the Original Australian Cats one also. Bottom line though, get over it. As a dancer you are tougher than most. Live up to your profession and just keep going.

[kwanfan1818]

I went to this same audition last year for the first time, and while I didn't get picked, I still made it pretty far along in the selection process, and even after not being picked I felt positive about the experience, and hopeful for "next time". It was a huge let down to not make it as far as I did last year, but I know I only have myself to blame.

This sounds familiar from -- skating. There are many skaters who do very well one year, and, of course, hope to improve, but sometimes it's a step backwards and a learning experience for any number of reasons during the sophomore season.

I think auditioning is brave, and that dinakt's advice is sage.

[Aussie Willy]

I had tricks I would use at auditions that would make me stand out. I learnt this after the first couple I did when people who were way less talented than me got the job and I didn't. For example, at the Australasian tour audition for 42nd st there were hundreds and hundreds of dancers that auditioned around the country, so I loosened my tap right before we danced and lo and behold my tap flew off my shoe and they stopped the audition for me. I was most apologetic and they said not to worry as it was just one of those things. They told me to go attach it and join in when I was ready. I fiddled around with my shoe for about 5 - 7 minutes and really watched and learnt the choree, while checking out the competition too. I got the job. Afterwards (during the tour) the stage manager told me they all remembered me as the one whose tap flew off and it was mentioned a lot when they were casting. She laughed but was surprised when I told her I planned the whole thing. I would not recommend this technique to everyone, but it has worked for me time and rime again. I have a funny story about my experience with Susan Stroman at the Australian Crazy for You audition too, ooh, just remembered a funny one from the Original Australian Cats one also. Bottom line though, get over it. As a dancer you are tougher than most. Live up to your profession and just keep going.

Good thing you didn't take the director's eye out.

[Ozzisk8tr]

Good thing you didn't take the director's eye out.

I should have, he was a wanker.