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  1. #1
    Argle-Bargle-ist
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    Brain-Dead Teen, Only Capable Of Rolling Eyes And Texting, To Be Euthanized

    So sad. We seem to be losing so many youth these days...

    The parents of 13-year old Caitlin Teagart have decided to end her life, saying she can now do nothing but lay on the couch and whine about things being "gay."

    I just don't know what our society is coming to. This kind of thing just didn't happen in my day!
    It's official. I am madly in love with Meryl Davis.

  2. #2

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    This is a fake story.

    If she were brain dead, she wouldn't be able to roll her eyes or anything else.

  3. #3

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    It's The Onion.
    Team Peeps!

  4. #4
    Argle-Bargle-ist
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gazpacho View Post
    This is a fake story.

    If she were brain dead, she wouldn't be able to roll her eyes or anything else.
    Are you sure? Did you watch the entire news story? Why would someone fake something so horrible??
    It's official. I am madly in love with Meryl Davis.

  5. #5

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    Quote Originally Posted by PeterG View Post
    Are you sure? Did you watch the entire news story? Why would someone fake something so horrible??
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NMsLg4jqlJw ....

    I just don't these stories, I find them to be in really bad taste.

  6. #6
    Argle-Bargle-ist
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    Quote Originally Posted by millyskate View Post
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NMsLg4jqlJw ....

    I just don't these stories, I find them to be in really bad taste.
    That is wicked!!! At the end the next story:

    Matthew McConaughey discusses his new conservatory for shirtless actors
    I'm going to have to go hunt that one down!!
    It's official. I am madly in love with Meryl Davis.

  7. #7
    Saint Smugpawski
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    Quote Originally Posted by PeterG View Post
    I just don't know what our society is coming to. This kind of thing just didn't happen in my day!
    I hear ya, Peter. When I was a teenager we got our asses off our couches and went outside and rolled our eyes. Uphill. In both directions. And we didn't wait for mommy to schedule an eye roll date for us, we went outside and walked around and rolled our eyes with the other kids in the neighborhood until it was time for dinner. And then we rolled our eyes WHILE we ate dinner.
    The fastest thing out of New Jersey since Tricky Nicky in a Muscovian handbasket

  8. #8
    drinky typo pbp, closet hugger
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    I'm rolling my eyes right now in sympathy for this poor teen.
    Q: Why can't I read the competition threads?
    A: Competition forums on the board are available to those with a Season Pass or a premium membership How to View Kiss & Cry

  9. #9
    Wandering Goy
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    I have death in my soul for her agonies.
    "Skating fans are not a patient bunch." Dragonlady

  10. #10

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    I thought it was hilarious and had to share it on FB.
    -Brian
    "Michelle would never be caught with sausage grease staining her Vera Wang." - rfisher

  11. #11

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    Quote Originally Posted by Gazpacho View Post
    This is a fake story.

    If she were brain dead, she wouldn't be able to roll her eyes or anything else.
    Quote Originally Posted by PeterG View Post
    Are you sure? Did you watch the entire news story? Why would someone fake something so horrible??
    Oh, Peter!
    -Brian
    "Michelle would never be caught with sausage grease staining her Vera Wang." - rfisher

  12. #12

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    Quote Originally Posted by Southpaw View Post
    I hear ya, Peter. When I was a teenager we got our asses off our couches and went outside and rolled our eyes. Uphill. In both directions. And we didn't wait for mommy to schedule an eye roll date for us, we went outside and walked around and rolled our eyes with the other kids in the neighborhood until it was time for dinner. And then we rolled our eyes WHILE we ate dinner.
    We were so poor we were born without eyes, we had to make our OWN eyes out of Jello, raisins and spit, and THEN roll them.

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rex View Post
    We were so poor we were born without eyes, we had to make our OWN eyes out of Jello, raisins and spit, and THEN roll them.

  14. #14

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    I am forgetting the name of the site that checks stories for their validity. Peter, have you checked this story?(I don't mean to offend you by asking this)

  15. #15

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    This is fantastic. I remember a story The Onion did about Shawn Johnson being put down after breaking her leg

  16. #16
    Saint Smugpawski
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rex View Post
    We were so poor we were born without eyes, we had to make our OWN eyes out of Jello, raisins and spit, and THEN roll them.
    Oh yeah? We were so poor we had to use our Jello eyeballs for dessert when we were done rolling them. Sometimes even BEFORE we were done rolling them. Mama would come by and say "Chile, you git yer eyeballs in that bowl RIGHT now!" Oh yes she did. Mama didn't cotton to no chillin who didn't eat their eyeballs.
    The fastest thing out of New Jersey since Tricky Nicky in a Muscovian handbasket

  17. #17

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    Quote Originally Posted by Vash01 View Post
    I am forgetting the name of the site that checks stories for their validity. Peter, have you checked this story?(I don't mean to offend you by asking this)
    This is very confusing. We should definitely check. It could totally go either way.

  18. #18
    Wandering Goy
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    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Onion

    Peter, dear, you are (edited) a very sly soul.
    "Skating fans are not a patient bunch." Dragonlady

  19. #19
    engaged to dupa
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    Quote Originally Posted by Vash01 View Post
    I am forgetting the name of the site that checks stories for their validity. Peter, have you checked this story?(I don't mean to offend you by asking this)
    It's the Onion - what is there to check?
    3539 and counting.

    Slightly Wounding Banana list cont: MacMadame.

  20. #20
    waiting for Spring :(
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    Quote Originally Posted by milanessa View Post
    It's the Onion - what is there to check?
    international audience might not 'get' it.. Peter - you are very naughty, but I like it
    Thanks to PI .. I discovered I'm actually a Nontheist

    "Love is better than Anger, Hope is better than fear" Jack Layton 1950-2011

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