Parenting Via Facebook

[FigureSpins]

I don't this was the BEST idea, but he does say a number of things that parents of teens bite back on a regular basis because of the "Choose your battles wisely" advice that is the norm today.

http://www.litefm.com/cc-common/main...rticle=9738000

The cigarette is really off-putting, too. *chuckles*


ETA: Just saw the ending - totally out of control and unnecessary. He should have sold it or given it away.
I wonder if the authorities will step in?

[antmanb]

So, the best way to teach your child not to write stupid open letters to your parents on facebook that include swear words is.....to take a computer that he must have paid for, spent time updating and buying new software, and empty a gun into it?

If his daughter lacks intelligence, it is pretty clear where that lack of intelligence comes from

[suep1963]

I've seen this up on facebook--along with the comments of "more parents should do this" and "way to go dad"

so if we suddenly have a run on shotguns, take cover!

[FigureSpins]

I thought the people cheering him on just hadn't watched through to the end; he does start to ramble and repeat himself before he pulls out the gun, so you do lose interest. I started this thread before the end came.

The Facebook friend that posted it thought his solution was far more effective parenting than just getting rid of the laptop! I was surprised by her response, but I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks this is going too far.

To me, his speech was okay parenting, although it was obviously done in anger. Putting it on Facebook was questionable, but he referred to prior situations that apparently had been resolve privately, yet she crossed the line again with him. Tit for tat, well, it works for some people. The gun, though, was crazy and pretty damn scary.

What happens when she does something really bad other than bad-mouthing them, or involves other kids in a keg party or something? Is he going to threaten them with a gun?

This guy's the poster child for gun control. Your 15-year old pisses you off so you video yourself shooting her laptop? Who's the responsible adult here?

[nerdycool]

ETA: Just saw the ending - totally out of control and unnecessary. He should have sold it or given it away.
I wonder if the authorities will step in?

Why should they step in? That gun is most likely registered to him, they appear to live out in the country where gun laws are different than when in town, he is not threatening anyone, nor do I think it implies that he will threaten with a gun in the future, and his target is something he himself bought.

Anyway, a friend of mine posted this on FB, and I watched until the end before commenting. Honestly, I'm of two minds about it. My first response was that it was awesome, because so many parents "take away" something from their child to teach them a lesson, but always give it back in the end, while the child has learned their lesson for maybe a week before they're back at it. This guy ensures that that won't happen. And since his daughter seems to be a repeat offender for this type of thing, merely taking away her laptop for a week doesn't seem like it would work very well.

But on the other hand, he could have just sold it. Shooting it was a little extreme since the punishment didn't really fit the crime, but who knows? Maybe she needed to see it to get it through her head that they're done coddling her, and since she has to pay back the computer, it ensures that she will be finding a job.

[julieann]

Who cares what he did to the laptop? If he rolled over it with his truck would you take his truck away from him too? Extreme…. perhaps, but totally legal.

[Skittl1321]

I don't see any problem with him shooting the laptop, and I HATE guns.

He paid for it, and he paid a lot more to upgrade it the previous day, but he had enough (I can't imagine that letter was the only problem), and the lap top was no more.

No different than when my sister had a pair of SEXY white pants in high school that my Dad paid her $100 for them and then cut them to shreds. Sure he could have donated them, but he wanted to make a point. (Thankfully, the point wasn't taken as "buy slutty clothes and make money")

[BigB08822]

I am kind of torn on this. I think he went a little over the top with shooting the laptop. On the other hand, as someone else mentioned, it is nice to know that by doing that he is sticking to his word and she wont be getting her laptop back in a week. But shooting it, on camera? Kind of too much. The other thing is that her letter was private and posted on her FB. I know it was bad mouthing her parents but adults have to understand the the digital age makes computers and FB like a kids diary. They don't want their parents to see what is on there. Sure, she sounded like a spoiled brat but how much of that is the parents fault? He also said she was 15. I didn't think you could even work at 15, thought you had to be 16. So I am not sure about the obsession with her getting a job. Why not give her more chores and an allowance or just stop buying her nice things and tell her she can buy them when she is 16 and has a job.

[Badams]

Maybe shooting the laptop was over the top, but sometimes it takes something over the top to get through to some kids. No human was hurt. As to the kid wanting something to be private on facebook, like a diary...I think there's another lesson here. Nothing is really private on the internet, no matter how hard you try to keep it private. She gets 2 lessons all wrapped in one. Maybe she will get herself a nice little paper diary with a little lock and key.

[nerdycool]

The other thing is that her letter was private and posted on her FB. I know it was bad mouthing her parents but adults have to understand the the digital age makes computers and FB like a kids diary.

While I understand your point of view, I also have 2 issues with it. One, it should be drilled into every person who uses a computer that nothing is private on the internet. Even if you have super-duper privacy settings, things can be found out if someone really wanted to know. And like the dad said, he works in IT, so she should know better than to think her stuff couldn't be seen by him... especially when she practically invited him to look by asking him to upgrade stuff for her. The second thing is, it's the parents' responsibility to make sure their child isn't up to no good. So while it may have been an accident that he came across this (or not, I don't know), it was ultimately within his rights as a father to intervene.

Sure, she sounded like a spoiled brat but how much of that is the parents fault?

That was one of my impressions also. Kids who grow up being expected to do chores tend to not question it like the daughter was doing. So it made me think that they really didn't give her any work until fairly recently.

He also said she was 15. I didn't think you could even work at 15, thought you had to be 16. So I am not sure about the obsession with her getting a job.

The things you can do are limited (like, you can't work in a kitchen or work a till), but yes, you can legally get a paycheck at age 15. The jobs are more along the lines of busing tables or folding clothes, but they're legal. Or she could be babysitting or mowing lawns. Almost none of them are glamorous, which is why I think she was dragging her feet.

[Prancer]

Gee, I wonder where the daughter got her exhibitionist tendencies.

Not a fan of the "look at me!" school of parenting.

[MacMadame]

So, the best way to teach your child not to write stupid open letters to your parents on facebook that include swear words is.....to take a computer that he must have paid for, spent time updating and buying new software, and empty a gun into it?

If his daughter lacks intelligence, it is pretty clear where that lack of intelligence comes from

I have to admit, I was rather upset when he shot the computer. It's such a WASTE. Yes, it's his and he can do what he wants with his property but I can't help but think about some poor hard-working student out there who can't afford such a nice laptop and could have really gotten a lot out of it.

Gee, I wonder where the daughter got her exhibitionist tendencies.

Not a fan of the "look at me!" school of parenting.

I wonder if he realized what would happen though. He seemed genuinely upset making the video. OTOH, we all know the advice to not write & send emails when you are mad and I think making & posting videos on FB while mad is included in that advice.

[Scintillation]

He reminded me so much of my childhood best friend's father, but he is far too big of an IT geek to ever consider putting a bullet through a computer. He would however make his daughters go move rocks around their land if they ever disrespected him.

It would've been nice to see him give away the laptop to someone else, but I agree that he seemed incredibly upset while making that video. It would've been more effective if he had taken some time to cool down, get his thoughts in order, then sit down and proceed to rip her a new one while giving the laptop away.

[PeterG]

He owns and a gun and is not able to control his anger (over something as simple as his child venting about life not being fair). And he not only doesn't have the intelligence to keep their private life private...but he posts his idiotic behaviour for the world to see.

If this is good parenting...Goddess help us all!

[Prancer]

I wonder if he realized what would happen though. He seemed genuinely upset making the video. OTOH, we all know the advice to not write & send emails when you are mad and I think making & posting videos on FB while mad is included in that advice.

It will be interesting to see if we get an update on this is, say, six months. This kind of thing always draws a lot of applause from the "those darn kids need to taught a lesson and MY dad would have done much worse" crowd, but IME, at least, reacting like this usually makes the rebellion worse. Posting this on his daughter's Facebook feed so her friends can see it is a bad idea in more ways than one, IMO.

[Japanfan]

I didn't like this man at all to be honest, he had a rough edge that was a bit frightening. Nor did I like that he shot the laptop. I'd prefer for guns not to be a tool in disciplining children.

Hannah certainly wasn't very smart to post her rant on Facebook, especially given that her dad is in IT.

On the one hand, I suppose parents can jump on the Faceback bandwagon to communicate with their kids. But on the other hand, I kept thinking that he should have been talking directly to Hannah rather than to a camera. . .

I know teenagers can be difficult. I tormented my own poor parents terribly in my teens.

But it seems to me that there is a major problem here between the father and daughter. If there weren't, would either be sharing their anger and resentment on FB?

[Angelskates]

But it seems to me that there is a major problem here between the father and daughter. If there weren't, would either be sharing their anger and resentment on FB?

And to the world. I keep wondering if they actually want to fix the situation, because it seems to me it's all about attention seeking rather than working on their relationship. What did the father hope to achieve?

[Ozzisk8tr]

So if she gets Dad's gun and shoots him during the night, I wouldn't be surprised. What a pathetic family. So many Americans love of guns is just so frightening to me.

[joeperryfan]

Just my two cents, but is there a chance the father wanted to show his daughter how quickly things spread on the internet and how they are not private at all? Or maybe he really wanted to embarrass her using her own methods. Kids don't understand the extent of what they do online unless it bytes them in the posterior, of course it's also the parents job to explain that nothing is private online.

[FigureSpins]

The father's already posted several responses via Facebook and in interviews.
http://www.facebook.com/tommyjordaniii

In the meantime, once the initial anger passed,... she sat with me reviewing some of the comments that have come in via Facebook and YouTube. One person even suggested collecting the shell casings and auctioning them on eBay. I said I’d do it if it would help contribute to her college fund! When I told her about it, she thought a minute, got a funny calculating expression on her face and said, “in that case you should shoot my phone too. We can use more bullets and I’ll go half-sies with ya on it! It’s not like I’m going to need it any time soon. And I can use the money we get to buy a new one.”

Read more: http://www.litefm.com/cc-common/main...#ixzz1m4X4YCIc

He later recanted this somewhat, saying he wasn't going to let her make money off of the situation. On Facebook, he keeps posting about his fundraising for charity and how people are making donations to the cause.

Probably hoping to make the Telethon later this year.