Help with delicate situation ...

[luenatic]

I could be wrong in reading all these posts... Does the OP want to keep the guy as friend (with benefit)? Like Kristen Wiig and Jon Hamm in Bridesmaids? Except, the OP wants to be in Jon's role?

[OliviaPug]

I could be wrong in reading all these posts... Does the OP want to keep the guy as friend (with benefit)? Like Kristen Wiig and Jon Hamm in Bridesmaids? Except, the OP wants to be in Jon's role?

Yeah, well. I didn't see "Bridesmaids" tho I've been told it's hilarious! Friends with benefits could be good, but I'm afraid to go there because he seems more interested in more than me. If we had similar feelings, I think it could work. I don't want to trounce on anyone's feelings here. I could handle the f-w-b, but I don't know if he could. Should I ask??

O-

[Bev Johnston]

My friend set me up with my now husband. When our relationship got serious, she freaked out on us. Three months before our wedding, she went to our priest to try to get him to stop the wedding.

And now she is the sister-in-law from hell. Turns out, she just wanted to have some fun controlling who her brother dated and already had his next girlfriend picked out. Her idea was to keep him from ever marrying so he would always be at her beck and call.

Not quite as crazy, but my mom married her best friend's brother. Everything was all peachy until they got engaged. My aunt was jealous and said the her brother took her best friend away. They were never close again.

[Bev Johnston]

Yeah, well. I didn't see "Bridesmaids" tho I've been told it's hilarious! Friends with benefits could be good, but I'm afraid to go there because he seems more interested in more than me. If we had similar feelings, I think it could work. I don't want to trounce on anyone's feelings here. I could handle the f-w-b, but I don't know if he could. Should I ask??

O-

Don't do it. That is asking for big trouble, IMO.

[cruisin]

Yeah, well. I didn't see "Bridesmaids" tho I've been told it's hilarious! Friends with benefits could be good, but I'm afraid to go there because he seems more interested in more than me. If we had similar feelings, I think it could work. I don't want to trounce on anyone's feelings here. I could handle the f-w-b, but I don't know if he could. Should I ask??

O-

So, I'm not sure, do you like this guy? Do you think there could be more? Are you just not ready? Or, is it that he has feelings for you, which you don't have for him? If the latter is the case, don't do FWB, in this situation. That could be an issue for his sister - AKA your BFF. And if you're not really interested in him, don't give him hope, again, that could be a problem for sis. If you go into a relationship with the intention of wanting it, that's one thing. But going into it as a FWB could get very "delicate".

[OliviaPug]

cruisin: I like the guy and we have chemistry. That's it. I don't know if there could be more, and I have no intentions. I'm not ready for a relationship; I just wanna have fun. That's my major concern. It's all fun and games until someone gets hurt. I've never been a selfish person in my life, and I don't want to start now. I think the answer is: "Don't do it."

O-

[cruisin]

cruisin: I like the guy and we have chemistry. That's it. I don't know if there could be more, and I have no intentions. I'm not ready for a relationship; I just wanna have fun. That's my major concern. It's all fun and games until someone gets hurt. I've never been a selfish person in my life, and I don't want to start now. I think the answer is: "Don't do it."

O-

Or explain exactly ^^ to him. You like him, but you're not ready. Maybe tell him that you want to date openly with several guys for now. He may be okay with that. Of course he may be okay with it, until he's not. I would just hate to see you pass by a great guy and regret it later.

[OliviaPug]

cruisin: He is a great guy. I'm not pursuing things, but if we happen to see each other or be in the same place at the same time for an event, I will be happy that we see each other. I can't live with regrets. If I did, I'd be regretting my entire 14 year marriage. In addition to my divorce, I had a life-threatening event last year that changed my perspective on things. Whatever will be, will be. It's better for me to just try to live each day the best way I can for myself and those I care about.

O-

[cruisin]

cruisin: He is a great guy. I'm not pursuing things, but if we happen to see each other or be in the same place at the same time for an event, I will be happy that we see each other. I can't live with regrets. If I did, I'd be regretting my entire 14 year marriage. In addition to my divorce, I had a life-threatening event last year that changed my perspective on things. Whatever will be, will be. It's better for me to just try to live each day the best way I can for myself and those I care about.

O-

Sounds like you have this under control. Good for you! I wish you well.