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  1. #1

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    snoopysnake Predicts 2012!

    • Michelle Kwan will be chosen vice presidential candidate at the Republican National Convention, even though she will still be under the required presidential age of 35, and will be sued by Michelle Bachmann for appropriation of her first name.
    • Johnny Weir will become pregnant, by in vitro fertilization, with a baby mink. He will cease to wear fur after this.
    • The 2014 U.S. Figure Skating Championships will be awarded to Truth or Consequences, New Mexico.
    • The 2015 World Figure Skating Championships will be awarded to a melting iceberg near the North Pole. Speedy Cinquanta will cancel them after declining to negotiate TV rights with Santa Claus and a pregnant polar bear.
    • Universal Sports will be available on all TV cable providers, in fact, it will be on the air 24-7 on channels 4-999, replacing virtually all existing programming. It will not show any figure skating, however.
    • Evgeni Plushenko will win 2012 Worlds and will then retire from Men’s singles. However, he will skate the Grand Prix in Ice Dance with his new partner, Alexei Mishin.
    • Patrick Chan will forget to set his alarm clock and will spend 2012 Worlds asleep in his hotel in Nice. He will still win the bronze medal, however.
    • A member of FSU will sue Alex and Maia Shibutani for being brother and sister. Dick Button will be the defense attorney.
    • A cat named Trudy will demonstrate how to correctly do a triple lutz and become a Youtube sensation. She will also team up with Artur Dmetriev, Jr. and win the pairs competition at the Cup of China.
    • Stars on Ice will be purchased by The Boston Red Sox and presented in Fenway Park in November and December for a record-setting 734 shows. Sasha Cohen will wear a Dustin Pedroia shirt and skate to “Dirty Water.” Caroline Zhang will sue Neil Diamond after she is denied a contract to skate to “Sweet Caroline.” Evan Lysacek will be banned from the show by USFS because of winning the 2012 Cy Young award for pitching 16 no-hitters for the Red Sox in September.

  2. #2

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    oh, and feel free to add to my list!

  3. #3

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    Evgeny Plushenko will take the silver medal at Worlds behind Patrick Chan and complain that Chan should not have been allowed to do two quads as one is sufficient to show superiority.

    Sarah Hughes will eliminate spins from her skating show programs because she has an Olympic Gold Medal, why should she do them, and besides, they make her dizzy.

    Tonya Harding will do absolutely nothing that catches the attention of the media in 2012 and will retire to the country to be a stay-at-home mom.

    The Republican presidential candidate will realize that no-one is paying attention to him/her and will graciously bow out and let Michelle Kwan run for both offices.
    "Once you've skated together long enough, and you're really good friends, you can close your eyes, put your hand out and she's right there." Joe Dolkiewicz, 2011 US Novice Pairs Bronze Medalist

  4. #4

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    -Another bug in the ISU computer system will remain undetected throughout the season and result in the following at Worlds:

    - A gold medal in Ice Dance for Scott Moir and Charlie White, while Tessa and Meryl take the silver. The bronze will go to Gorshkova and Butikov's SD outfits, just to make them go away.
    - Patrick Chan winning gold, silver and bronze in the Ladies event.
    -...while Liza Tuktamisheva wins Men's by 47 points thanks to her superior jump content. Daisuke Takahashi settles for silver despite landing two clean quads in the long, and Daisuke's hair takes the bronze.
    - The Pair's event is altogether erased from the database, but gold medals are awarded to Sale and Pelletier, just in case.
    Touching the void.

  5. #5

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    Quote Originally Posted by snoopysnake View Post
    • Michelle Kwan will be chosen vice presidential candidate at the Republican National Convention, even though she will still be under the required presidential age of 35, and will be sued by Michelle Bachmann for appropriation of her first name.
    • Johnny Weir will become pregnant, by in vitro fertilization, with a baby mink. He will cease to wear fur after this.
    • The 2014 U.S. Figure Skating Championships will be awarded to Truth or Consequences, New Mexico.
    • The 2015 World Figure Skating Championships will be awarded to a melting iceberg near the North Pole. Speedy Cinquanta will cancel them after declining to negotiate TV rights with Santa Claus and a pregnant polar bear.
    • Universal Sports will be available on all TV cable providers, in fact, it will be on the air 24-7 on channels 4-999, replacing virtually all existing programming. It will not show any figure skating, however.
    • Evgeni Plushenko will win 2012 Worlds and will then retire from Men’s singles. However, he will skate the Grand Prix in Ice Dance with his new partner, Alexei Mishin.
    • Patrick Chan will forget to set his alarm clock and will spend 2012 Worlds asleep in his hotel in Nice. He will still win the bronze medal, however.
    • A member of FSU will sue Alex and Maia Shibutani for being brother and sister. Dick Button will be the defense attorney.
    • A cat named Trudy will demonstrate how to correctly do a triple lutz and become a Youtube sensation. She will also team up with Artur Dmetriev, Jr. and win the pairs competition at the Cup of China.
    • Stars on Ice will be purchased by The Boston Red Sox and presented in Fenway Park in November and December for a record-setting 734 shows. Sasha Cohen will wear a Dustin Pedroia shirt and skate to “Dirty Water.” Caroline Zhang will sue Neil Diamond after she is denied a contract to skate to “Sweet Caroline.” Evan Lysacek will be banned from the show by USFS because of winning the 2012 Cy Young award for pitching 16 no-hitters for the Red Sox in September.
    Wonderfully charming list! Especially at the fourth one!

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