I got engaged! Unfortunately....

[woodstock]

I'm not a great fan of Littman's now. As for sh*t or get off the pot. The ring only broke on Monday. (And when I decided to keep it around New Year's, after that the ring was a non-issue...until it broke). I certainly have NOT been whining all the month long. Also, we don't live together yet, so I don't see him every day, and I don't feel our ring discussions are appropriate for the telephone, there's too much sentiment and emotion attached to it. Also, he has custody of his young son, so it's not like we can run off to the jeweler at a moments notice to take care of this. As many who have very young kids know, it's a bit tough to have a discussion in a public place when at least one adult is only able to pay half attention to the conversation since they're also monitoring their child. And a trip to the jeweler is not worth requesting favors for babysitting. So quite often these type of things wait until his ex has her custody weekend.

I finally convinced him that we just can't possibly keep this ring (because he goes back and forth on his willingness to return it too). Both on price point of overpaying by at least $1000 it's actual worth, and the fact that the warranty does not cover stone replacement. And it was only by luck that I managed to find the pearl piece when it broke on Monday so it was simply re-glued into place, had I not we would have been paying for a new pearl. He actually is fine with me wearing it until we get married, then having a separate wedding band and putting this one away. He even suggested such yesterday. But this time I held my ground, because no way can I justify him over-paying so much for a ring that will only sit in a box ten months from now, even if he is fine with it.

I'm hoping we don't have much issue with Littman's tomorrow. Based on it still being within 60 days and having broken. The only thing they can really fuss on is the fact it was sized, but having broken afterward I should be able to make them refund us. And I don't want to exchange. In fact, I'm leaning toward no ring at all. Any ring I chose will not really have any meaning or sentiment to it, it would be just spending money to have a pretty thing on my finger. There are better uses for our money than that.

[cruisin]

So quite often these type of things wait until his ex has her custody weekend.

Just don't wait too long. The longer you wait, the harder returning it will be.

and the fact that the warranty does not cover stone replacement. And it was only by luck that I managed to find the pearl piece when it broke on Monday so it was simply re-glued into place, had I not we would have been paying for a new pearl.

Actually, your homeowners would have covered replacing the stone. There is limited jewelry coverage in most homeowner plans. If you had a very valuable piece, you would get an individual rider on that piece.

He actually is fine with me wearing it until we get married, then having a separate wedding band and putting this one away. He even suggested such yesterday. But this time I held my ground, because no way can I justify him over-paying so much for a ring that will only sit in a box ten months from now, even if he is fine with it.

That doesn't seem practical. And, as you've already seen, even limited wear is iffy for this ring.

I'm hoping we don't have much issue with Littman's tomorrow. Based on it still being within 60 days and having broken. The only thing they can really fuss on is the fact it was sized, but having broken afterward I should be able to make them refund us.

My only concern with regard to them reimbursing you, is that you had them fix it. You should have insisted on a refund when it broke and said no to fixing it. You may have to accept an exchange, but don't accept the same ring.

And I don't want to exchange. In fact, I'm leaning toward no ring at all. Any ring I chose will not really have any meaning or sentiment to it, it would be just spending money to have a pretty thing on my finger. There are better uses for our money than that.

Oh, that's how you feel right now. If the two of you go together and pick out a ring, it will have special meaning. Probably more meaning, since you did it together. As my mother would say, don't cut off your nose to spite your face.

[GarrAarghHrumph]

You're going there tomorrow? I wish you the best of luck.

[Japanfan]

And a trip to the jeweler is not worth requesting favors for babysitting. So quite often these type of things wait until his ex has her custody weekend.

Given how hugely important this is to you, and what an ordeal it's been, I would say that babysitting requests are appropriate. If I was a good friend of yours' and lived nearby, I'd have offered already,

Good luck with it woodstock.

[BittyBug]

Last I checked, children are portable. If you want to get this done, you could bring the kid with you.

Message for Woodstock

[cruisin]

^^ How cool would it be, to change the "O" in Do, into an engagement ring? I bet, even Woodstock (given the situation), would find that adorable and funny.

Woodstock, I was thinking, since you have very small fingers, have you considered a pear shaped stone in a simple "Tiffany" setting? It would be narrower than the round or butterfly shapes, you've seen. Pear shapes were a bit "dated" for a while, but they are back in style (big time) now. The ring below is classic. Only sending you to the site for style, I know nothing about it.

http://www.biggestdiamond.com/diamon...-good-cut.html

[woodstock]

The deed is done. And although I know children are obviously portable, it was best we didn't have him with us as things got a bit tense in the return. I think we finally won over our case when we pointed out that the lifetime warranty covered stone replacement, but excluded pearls. And it was the pearl settings that were the issue with the ring.

It also turned out that with tax and cost of the warranty he paid over $2500 for that ring. Yikes. Even if he did so willingly, I just don't feel right for him paying that much, plus the expense of a $1000 wedding band to go with it. Too much money.

The jeweler I went to for consult said he could replicate the ring, custom made for about $1200. So I told my fiance if we ever wanted to for a 5 or 10 year anniversary gift he could have my engagement ring remade in my size, for a much more appropriate price. Then I could use it as a special occasion or once in a while wear anniversary band. And not worry about daily wear and tear. So if he really wanted me to have that specific ring, it's not a lost option for it being something special in the future.

I'm still leaning more towards forgoing an engagement ring. The wedding is about nine months away, no sense buying a ring to wear when I'll have a band soon. And I was thinking of going for a more antique style band that would really work best standing alone. This sort of grabbed my attention

http://www.marleneharriscol.com/cate...ds/WB5625.html

It's flat profile, prong settings, cleanable with a soft brush. Even if I did lose a stone, it would be much easier to replace than a colored flat pearl, and probably not extremely costly as they are small stones. It would just require 6 month checks for the prong stability. And I'm sure one in my size would price even lower as I wear a full size smaller than the ring shown.We'd have to see what our local jeweler can come up with pricewise, but anything would definitely be below the $2500 butterfly ring. Plus this ring is a one and done, I don't see how an engagement ring would work with this band, no sense to buy one for a few months.

And....he's kind of liking it and seeming a bit better spirits over the whole ring deal since I pointed out that the scrollwork in the middle sort of looks like ocean waves. He's considering a bit of a nautical/rope type etching in his wedding band (as he used to be in the navy). I told him it would be kind of nice if our rings linked a little bit in regard to theme as a pair. That idea appealed to him, and I'd much rather have something that defines a bit more unity, rather than our own very individual rings. But he's liking that idea, so hopefully it eases the hurt he felt over having to return the engagement ring.

[kwanfan1818]

Excellent news, woodstock! I think you've come up with a wonderful solution that honors you both.

[PDilemma]

Woodstock...please don't take this as any sort of insult, it is not intended as such....

You have been exceedingly indecisive about all of this, so make sure that you are certain you know what you want before you buy/order another ring!

[woodstock]

Oh, we definitely will. But I think the biggest hurdle is over since the original is returned. Part of the difficulty in it all was his sentiment to having looked specifically for butterflies and paid so much for something he wanted to be special. And then it grew on me as sentimental after wearing it for a month as my engagement ring. Now that we've let go we can move on for something right for both of us (and price, durability, etc).

And we'll be looking for a while. I'll need an expert opinion on the durability of the ring I linked. See if we can get one to try on and look and feel before making any decision. It does appeal to MY tastes though, and once I pointed out the wave aspect he really started to like the idea too. We'll see. No rush. We have nine months to decide. You don't even really need rings to be married, that's more a cultural/preference thing anyway.

[taf2002]

I really like the ring you linked. It's very pretty. And for him getting his money back.

[Anita18]

Sounds like a plan woodstock!

[Kruss]

I love the ring you linked. I have something similar (although in sterling silver and cubic), but I always thought something like that would be a lovely wedding ring. Very easy to wear as the stones are flush, it's very smooth, yet very sparkling. It's a gorgeous design.

[KCC]

I'm glad to hear that you were successful in returning the ring. Hopefully the store did not give you too hard of a time in negotiating the return. And I kind of agree with you on your leaning toward not getting an engagement ring -- if I had to do it again, I would not have gotten one. Certainly it makes sense to think about how the engagement ring and wedding band would fit together. Our wedding bands match, which was really important to me, but it is awkward for me to wear my wedding band with the engagement ring because of the thickness of the wedding band vs. my finger joint. You may have the same issue if you get the thicker "wave" band design that you linked.

I wish you and your fiance the happiest life together!

[TygerTyger]

Try rereading the last paragraph in my previous post.

Yeah..... They aren't going to do that. Reading selectively, and making judgements about your character, just feels so good.

[GarrAarghHrumph]

I'm still leaning more towards forgoing an engagement ring. The wedding is about nine months away, no sense buying a ring to wear when I'll have a band soon. And I was thinking of going for a more antique style band that would really work best standing alone. This sort of grabbed my attention

http://www.marleneharriscol.com/cate...ds/WB5625.html-

Ooooh, I do like that.

[WindSpirit]

The linked ring is very pretty, but there's so much that can go wrong with it, so make it's exactly what you want and that you can wear it to work without worry. It also can't be re-sized, which is kind of bummer, as finger sizes often change during lifetime.

Personally I would probably worry too much about it, so the pleasure of having/wearing it would be quite diminished.

[Angelskates]

Yeah..... They aren't going to do that. Reading selectively, and making judgements about your character, just feels so good.

woodstock changed the paragraph she suggested by reread several times after reading posts below it, does she expect people to keep checking for her edits?

Seriously, the situation is resolved, why the continued animosity when the poster woodstock was referring to wasn't even you?

Woodstock, I'm glad you found a solution. I agree with Windspirit about the ring you linked, and would worry about it needing resizing in the future and not being able to resize it.

[cruisin]

I am not sure why the jeweler is saying the ring cannot be resized. Possibly, they are just saying, they won't resize. That you would have to take it somewhere else. There is a solid block of gold, in the back, that is usually done for the purpose of resizing. The only thing that could be an issue, would be that there are so many small stones. But, a good jeweler could resize that ring and check that the settings are secure.

I think the ring is very pretty and would be fine. As woodstock said, it has a very low profile and should not get in her way when she is working. I would be concerned if the stones went completely around the ring (like an eternity band). But, the back seems to be stoneless. She will have to get it checked periodically. It is pretty easy to tell if a large stone's setting has loosened. But with pave' small stones, it's very hard to tell with the naked eye. Of course, it's much less expensive to replace a 2-3 point stone than a larger one.

As to ring sizes changing one time. My ring size changed when I was pregnant, due to some fluid retention. But, I wear the same size now that I wore when I got married.

[succubus]

Woodstock - I love the ring you just linked, but please take the warnings about resizing seriously. I have a very similar ring (anniv gift from hubby) and didn't get the same warning. My ring finger is only a 3.5 - they only had a 4.5 in stock, told me they could resize it, and 3 or 4 of the diamonds fell out within weeks of resizing. It wasn't my wedding band, so I wasn't even wearing it every day.