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  1. #41
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    I lost my mother a few years ago to cancer. As my friend (who'd lost his mother in the early 70s to cancer) warned me beforehand, the grief never goes away, whether it was 30 years ago or just three, it will always be there. Sometimes you can go hours, then days, then maybe a couple of days, but it's always there. There is nothing like losing your mother. My heart goes out to you.

    One mistake I made was letting my famility dynamic change too dramatically. My mom was the "it" girl for planning and now we've drifted apart.

  2. #42
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    Bailey
    So sorry to hear of your loss, our mothers are important people ( even though they drive us crazy sometimes !!!) yours will be missed by many.

  3. #43

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    Much love to you, Bailey. How wonderful to have a mother who truly loves you and have wonderful memories to treasure. Not all of us are that fortunate. That doesn't alieviate any pain for you, but do know that you were blessed to have her. Very big hugs.

  4. #44

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    Bailey, I am so sorry. Losing a parent is so hard. You've done so much, please go do something for yourself. Get a massage, mani, pedi, hair done - something nice and selfish; you deserve a pampering (FSU orders!)
    "awwww....shades of Janet Lynn" - Dick Button on anyone who makes more than one mistake in their program.

  5. #45

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    I'm so sorry for your loss, but I'm glad you were able to spend the time with her that you did, and also the time with your relatives. That is a gift. Take care of yourself now.

  6. #46

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    My sympathies Bailey, even tho it was a blessing it's never easy. You'll feel pretty raw for a while. Hang in there.

  7. #47
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    My condolences to you and your family Bailey.

    My father passed away last Saturday. He had had Parkinsons for 20 years and in the last two years had had two broken hips, and had become unable to concentrate enough to read or watch television. The nursing home he was a resident in was a wonderful place with very caring staff, but he was soooo looking forward to passing to the next life that I have a hard time being sad for him at all. My mother and I were both with him, and had just read him some of his favourite poetry, and were picking out music when I looked over and said to Mom, "I think he's gone..."

    I, too, found that being with him and seeing the feeling of peace enter the room, was a blessing for me.

    In accordance with his wishes, we did not hold a funeral for him, but we are having a family celebration and commital of his ashes next spring. We are going to read his favourite poem- The Cremation of Sam McGhee, and hire a piper to play Flowers of the Forest, and drink a lot of good wine in his memory.

  8. #48
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    (((((Bailey)))))) I'm so very sorry for your loss. May your Mom rest in peace.

  9. #49

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    I'm very sorry for your loss. You have my thoughts and prayers.
    'Life's hard. It's even harder when you're stupid.'--John Wayne

  10. #50

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    Do you have good photo albums, can you make a memory book of pictures?

  11. #51
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    Thanks again everyone for your kind words and your advice. Yes, I do have a day at the spa booked with a girlfriend before I go back to work -- my dad's gift to me for all the time and care given to my mother. And yes, I am a scrapbooker and a photographer so I have many photos to scrapbook and reflect -- although, not enough by my standard right now... And yes Holley, I know that I was very blessed to have a mother who loved me and cared for me. In a perfect world, everyone would be so lucky. It is one of the thoughts that I hold near my heart to help me understand and accept her loss. It's just strange -- because I've existed in this world my whole life with her as a constant -- to know that I and the world now exists without her presence. But, I definitely understand what you are saying and I wish that every child was so blessed.

  12. #52

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    (((Bailey))) I am so sorry for your loss. As others have said, the loss of a parent is difficult. I lost my mother more than a decade ago and there are days when I call my father's house (he still has the same home phone number) that I expect her to answer the phone.

    Hold fast to your family, your father in particular. I have become especially close to my father and sister since my mother's passing. I'm glad to hear that you have lots of people to surround yourself with when you need it; although there are days/times when you'll want solitude. Take care of yourself.
    The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are--Joseph Campbell

  13. #53
    aka IceSkate98
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    (((Bailey))) My condolences about your mom. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
    Angie
    “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” ~ Thomas A. Edison

  14. #54

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    i am so sorry for your loss.

  15. #55
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    Bailey, I'm sorry for your loss, and I hope that you'll find strength in yourself, your family and friends as you mourn your mom's passing.
    "I miss footwork that has any kind of a discernible pattern. The goal of a step sequence should not be for a skater to show the same ice coverage as a Zamboni and take about as much time as an ice resurface. " ~ Zemgirl, reflecting on a pre-IJS straight line sequence

  16. #56

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    So sorry for your loss.

  17. #57

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    All best thoughts to you, Bailey, at this difficult time. I too lost my mom to cancer almost ten years ago. Very tough but time does help.

  18. #58
    Thunder & Lightning!!!
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    My thoughts & prayers go out to you an all of your family and friends.

    Please take care of yourself during this difficult time.
    Peace & Love, Gypsy
    Even a man who is pure in heart and says his prayers by night, may become a wolf when the wolfbane blooms and the autumn moon is bright.


  19. #59

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    Sorry for you losses, Bailey and RJ Blue.

    My mom died unexpectedly when I was 33 and she was 72. There was no time to say good-bye and I lived had away from her for about 15 years. I was finally at a place where I could spend more time with her and she was gone. I didn't have to deal with with the absence of her constant presence but have never stopped feeling sad about the time we didn't have. I'll see a movie and wish she could have seen it too or think of a conversation I'd like to have had with her. And it's been almost 20 years.

  20. #60
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    So sorry for your loss, Bailey. My condolences go out to you & your family.

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