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  1. #1
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    My Mom just passed away...

    Hello everyone,

    After a very intense six month journey with cancer, my mom lost her battle last weekend. The doctors all say that she had the most aggressive case of myeloma they have ever seen. We were very blessed to share the final few weeks with her at a wonderful palliative care program which allowed us time to say goodbye and prepare for her passing. It's hard to understand, but the final few hours of her life were actually very joyful. She was visited by her oldest and dearest cousins who sat around her bed, sharing stories of her childhood. When they went to leave, she opened her eyes (the doctor said unbelievable, considering she had been non-responsive for days). After they left, we had a chance to tell her that we loved her, tell her that we would be ok, and that it was time to go. Within minutes after we each had our final words with her, she passed away very peacefully. It was strangely, the most tragic and the most beautiful thing that has ever happened in my life.

    The last week has been filled with funeral arrangements, calls from family and friends, etc... but this weekend has been very quiet. A welcome quiet - something that I haven't had for the past six months and something that I've dreamed about. But, it's somewhat unnerving too... Even though I have watched her illness progress and was present at her passing, I feel strangely numb this weekend. It's funny how you can have so much anticipatory grief and yet the finality of her death is still strangely shocking to me.

    I had posted in the spring and was flooded with well wishes and advice. I just wanted to let you know that unfortunately, my mom lost her battle, but also say thank you for the support this community offered last spring.

    Take care everyone

  2. #2

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    I'm so sorry. It was nice that you got to spend those last days telling her how much you loved her.

  3. #3
    Eh?
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    (((Bailey)))

    Thank you for sharing your beautiful thoughts.

  4. #4
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    Very sorry for your loss.
    "The Devil is joining in, and that's never a good sign." Phil Liggett

  5. #5
    engaged to dupa
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    I hope you and your family find the same sort of peace that your mom found at the end, Bailey. Remember the good times but don't be afraid to grieve and be sad. Best of everything to you.
    3539 and counting.

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  6. #6
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    I'm so sorry for your loss, Bailey_.

  7. #7
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    {{{Bailey}}} So sorry for your loss.

  8. #8

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    It hurts so much to lose a loved one. Blessings to you and your family.

  9. #9

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    Thanks for sharing that with us and hugs to you and yours at this time. Sorry for your loss and may she rest in peace.
    “Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none.” William Shakespeare

  10. #10
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    Bailey, I'm so sorry for your loss. I am grateful that you were able to share your mother's last weeks/days/moments with her. I lost my mother in March, she had been ill, but she had gotten better, and it was unexpected. And I had been away for two weeks just before she passed, and didn't get to see her. Regardless of how prepared we are, it is never easy losing a parent. You will feel strangely numb for a while. You will be relieved that her suffering is over, but you will miss her. You will probably feel like there is something you are supposed to be doing for her for a while, especially in light of the last 6 months. There will be times when you go to pick up the phone and call her, then you'll remember. I still do, and it's been 9 months. But, mostly you will remember her love, her care, her friendship. There are times when I remember ways in which she drove me crazy, they make me smile now. She will always be part of you, carry the joy (and the crazy) she was in your life as a gift.

    You have my sincere condolences. (((hugs)))

  11. #11
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    My sympathy on your mother's passing. I'm glad it wasn't too painful an experience for all of you.

  12. #12

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    My sympathy and prayers for you and your family. I'm so very sorry.
    Give me one more quiet night, before this loud morning gets it right, and does me in.
    ~DC

  13. #13

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    I'm sorry. I'm glad your mom was able to pass peacefully under the circumstances, but how awful for this all to transpire in a mere six months. May you be surrounded with love and support in the difficult days ahead.
    "Marge, if you're going to get mad at me every time I do something stupid, then I guess I'm just going to have to stop doing stupid things!" - Homer Simpson in the Mr. Plow episode

  14. #14

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    Bailey, my sincere sympathies to you and your family. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

  15. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cheylana View Post
    how awful for this all to transpire in a mere six months
    It has been a terrible six months. She was first diagnosed on my birthday and passed away six months to the day of her diagnosis. She had surgery on my parent's 40th wedding anniversary and my grandfather (my father's, father) passed away the morning that she was released from hospital following her surgery. And, my brother had a baby the weekend she went into hospital for the final time, exactly two months to the day before she died. We all thought that she would be present for the baby's birth because the chemo seemed to be going ok through the summer. But, then she developed intractable pain and they discovered numerous tumors indicating that the chemo was really not effective. She never really got to see and enjoy the baby except for a few visits to hospital when she was well enough to see him. I have worked a hand-full of weeks in the past six months. It's been an absolutely terrible time -- my family all agree that we want to have a big New Years party because we have to ring in a better year next year!

    Thank you for all your kind words.
    Last edited by Bailey_; 11-19-2011 at 06:36 PM.

  16. #16
    what a glorious day!
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    I'm so sorry, Bailey. My Mom used to say you express your love with actions when your loved one was living, not after they are gone. She would have approved of the way you and your family cared for your mom in her last days, surrounding her with love. My heart goes out to you and your family. May your loving memories sustain you and know that the thoughts of many of us are with you.

  17. #17
    Not summer :(
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    So sorry for your loss...
    Haunting the Princess of Pink since 20/07/11...

  18. #18
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    (((Bailey))) You sound like a very strong and caring person. My thoughts are with you, wishing for your pain to ease.

  19. #19
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    (((Bailey))) I'm so sorry. Sending lots of hugs your way.

  20. #20

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    I'm so sorry for your loss
    Adelina Sotnikova is the 2014 Olympic champion!

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