Butt In or MYOB? - Bulimia
My husband and I were just walking down the beach. An extremely emaciated girl bombed by us, jogging rapidly, and I commented to my husband how obviously anorexic she was and that I felt bad (I was anorexic for awhile about ten years ago). We stopped a few minutes later at the public restroom. I walked in the ladies room, and there was the same girl with her finger down her throat barfing her brains out.
I didn't know what, if anything, to say. I used the toilet and when I came out she was gone. I don't know her from a hole in the wall, but I felt bad. People (friends and strangers) said plenty to me when I got gaunt, and I didn't resent their inquiries, though I didn't "get" them at the time. But of course everyone is different.
My cousin is currently bulimic. It's the big family "secret." I also feel awkward about this situation. We are not super close, but I do see her a couple of times a year. I have tried to open up dialogue about my past experiences, but she doesn't bite. Leave it alone or try to help?
I just feel awful as I sit here right now, knowing the inner pain that girl must be in. She wasn't even model thin, she was starving country famine victim thin, probably about 5'8" or so, 90 pounds or less.
I know, it's not easy. But you could save her life.
It's a hard call and there is no right answer, especially since you don't know the woman. I think most people wouldn't say anything.
Hopefully she has people who care about her that will intervene.
Last edited by Fergus; 10-11-2011 at 12:34 AM.
that you couldn't help the girl on the beach. Hopefully there are others who are worried about her. I did see a girl at the gym who was also starving-country-famine-thin, but she was gingerly lifting weights so I hope she was on the road to recovery.
As for your cousin, it's worth it to give intervention a try since you don't see her that often anyway. I mean, if nobody in the family's saying anything, who is?
You'd certainly know better than I do that acknowledging that there IS a problem is the first (and most difficult) step of recovery. I wish you luck!
If it's the cousin...please just keep giving her the option to talk. She may not be ready but it will be a big deal for her when she is.
How do you know that your cousin is bulimic? If she's sending big hints that she's not trying to hide it, then it's probably a call for help, and you should offer her support. If she's trying to hide it, however, she may deny it if confronted.
She has actually been in therapy for awhile, not out herself willingly, but she has great parents who figured it out (my uncle is portly and my aunt is healthy fit/not parental overdrive/just aware parents). She has been the typical bulumic (i.e., not skinny but puking and binging) but I I noticed recently in Fbook that she's gettting really slim bodywise, so I'm scared she's upping the ante to bulimia/anorexia. She in is college now with no supervision. She's not sending hints and her younger sister (who is normal-sized) covers.
Originally Posted by Gazpacho