My current pet peeve

[judiz]

Why do people go to religious services if all they are going to do is talk to the people sitting next to them?

[barbk]

Why do people go to religious services if all they are going to do is talk to the people sitting next to them?

Unless the people in question are, say, 3, at which point I'd cut them a lot of slack, they're apparently related to the same people who go to movie theaters and talk their way through the films.

[Debbie S]

And why do people feel the need to have everyone in a row stand up, while they come in with 2 small children (carrying one with the other trailing behind them) and then 10 secs later, have everybody stand up again, as they cheerfully say (to the sound of groans and grumbling) that they were just coming in to say hi to someone? Ever heard of the frickin phone?

That happened a few years ago at our previous synagogue. And yeah, the talking (and college kids showing each other pics on their cell phones) happened all the time.

My parents left that synagogue when they moved and now go to a place closer to them. But that place isn't really my style (it's not my mom's either, but my dad likes it) and I don't want to go somewhere else by myself, so I haven't gone to services in a few years. So I'm just home today.

[numbers123]

Why do people go to religious services if all they are going to do is talk to the people sitting next to them?

or text and post on facebook - ex dil did that?
Regarding people who talk to the people sitting next to them - there is a family that sits near me (yeah, I know I could sit somewhere else) - the woman repeats everything that is said or printed or whatever to her husband during the service. AFAIK, he hears and speaks just fine - at least he does during the welcome time.

[Marge_Simpson]

I've never seen this at Mass. Everyone would give the offenders the stare of death.

[Aussie Willy]

Unless the people in question are, say, 3, at which point I'd cut them a lot of slack, they're apparently related to the same people who go to movie theaters and talk their way through the films.

Because rude people are rude people, it doesn't matter if they are religious or not.

[Debbie S]

I've never seen this at Mass. Everyone would give the offenders the stare of death.

My mom gave the woman with small children a death stare, but the woman didn't look too bothered by it.

[ilovepaydays]

And why do people feel the need to have everyone in a row stand up, while they come in with 2 small children (carrying one with the other trailing behind them) and then 10 secs later, have everybody stand up again, as they cheerfully say (to the sound of groans and grumbling) that they were just coming in to say hi to someone? Ever heard of the frickin phone?

How about this: I used to go to a church that had a service that started at 11:00 and would end around 12:45-1:00. This was a church that did A LOT of music before the sermon (which was getting longer as well - to the point where I would be STARVING was the service ended).

I sat in the balcony and there was a couple that every Sunday would come in sometime between Noon & 12:30 and wonder around the balcony and before finding a place to sit. They not only felt the need to come in that late but they needed to sit in their own row and on a far end so they could be completely by themselves away from everyone.

They would then get up after the service and just leave without talking to anyone. I found this to be really weird (and rude to the 1,000+ people who didn't see an issue with the first hour or so of the service).

I asked them why they came in late all the time and they said they only wanted to come in and listen to the sermon. They thought the worship music was too loud and repetitive. (Granted, at one time it was annoying, but it greatly improved.)

I did not ask about the "loner" stuff - Honestly, I got a weird vibe about the husband and wife's relationship.

[Aussie Willy]

I sat in the balcony and there was a couple that every Sunday would come in sometime between Noon & 12:30 and wonder around the balcony and before finding a place to sit. They not only felt the need to come in that late but they needed to sit in their own row and on a far end so they could be completely by themselves away from everyone.

They would then get up after the service and just leave without talking to anyone. I found this to be really weird (and rude to the 1,000+ people who didn't see an issue with the first hour or so of the service).

I asked them why they came in late all the time and they said they only wanted to come in and listen to the sermon. They thought the worship music was too loud and repetitive. (Granted, at one time it was annoying, but it greatly improved.)

I did not ask about the "loner" stuff - Honestly, I got a weird vibe about the husband and wife's relationship.

People probably have their own personal reasons why they go to church and may be they do it for themselves rather than whatever else it offers. Is there a rule that they must engage with other people when they attend? In this case it sounds like they had a justifiable reason for being late because of the music. And isn't religion meant to be about tolerance and accepting people as they are?

When I go the cinema on my own I like to sit as far away from others as possible. Does that make me weird?

[essence_of_soy]

When I go the cinema on my own I like to sit as far away from others as possible. Does that make me weird?

I've been in the reverse situation when cinemas override allocated seating and bunch a dozen strangers together in an almost empty 900 seat theatre.

Now that's weird.

[overedge]

Well, part of most religious services is supposed to be the shared experience, and fellowship among the congregation. That being said, if people are talking while other people are conducting the service, that's just rude. There's plenty of time to talk with your neighbours before and after the service.

[smurfy]

When I go the cinema on my own I like to sit as far away from others as possible. Does that make me weird?

Normal to me. I hate when the theatre is practically empty and someone sits in front of me. One time someone sat next to. I then move! (I usually go to late matinees - 5pm, and maybe 10-20 people go).

[BigB08822]

Normal to me. I hate when the theatre is practically empty and someone sits in front of me. One time someone sat next to. I then move! (I usually go to late matinees - 5pm, and maybe 10-20 people go).

This is a huge pet peeve of mine. I always get to the movie early to sit in the first row (not in the very front but the first row going up the stairs) so that I have a little extra leg room and the ability to prop my legs up on the railing. I also try to go to movies towards the end of their runs so that there wont be a ton of people there. I have had people come in to an otherwise completely empty theater and come down and sit in the seat directly next to me. I know they may want to same row but can't you leave a seat between us? I don't want to fight you for the arm rest.

[Holley Calmes]

Hardly a church, but I went into the ladies room of a Barnes and Noble today only to overhear a loud argument between a woman on her phone and a younger woman-who you could hear somehow over the first woman's phone-as the first woman merrily peed and cursed at the younger woman all at once. I have never in my life been an observer of such a weird situation. A toilet-one end of a conversation uttering obscenities, and overhearing the person on the other end of the phone also uttering obscenities. I did my thing, washed my hands, and was happy to leave.

What IS this world coming to?

[Aussie Willy]

I have had people come in to an otherwise completely empty theater and come down and sit in the seat directly next to me.

This reminds me years ago when I caught a country train (one with compartments that could seat about 8) and I was the only one in there sitting next to the window. I was about 16 at the time. This creepy guy came in and sat right next to me. I absolutely freaked out and I think after about 10 minutes I went and found another compartment to sit in, not a crowded one but I made sure there were other people.

Actually my pet peeve are people who have a cold and won't blow their nose. They keep sucking the snot back in instead of blowing it out. I know it is gross but it is gross having to listen to it. I had a girl I was sitting next to on a crowded train do it and I ended up asking if she wanted a tissue to blow her nose (she already had one). However I think she got the message. But there is a guy near my desk at work who does it as well.

[paskatefan]

Hardly a church, but I went into the ladies room of a Barnes and Noble today only to overhear a loud argument between a woman on her phone and a younger woman-who you could hear somehow over the first woman's phone-as the first woman merrily peed and cursed at the younger woman all at once. I have never in my life been an observer of such a weird situation. A toilet-one end of a conversation uttering obscenities, and overhearing the person on the other end of the phone also uttering obscenities. I did my thing, washed my hands, and was happy to leave.

What IS this world coming to?

Oh, my! That is pathetic.

I felt bad for my rabbi (a very good speaker) at Yom Kippur services yesterday. There was a mass (no pun intended) "exodus" after his sermon, which was between 12;30 PM & 1 PM. I will cut people some slack since the services on Yom Kippur are the longest of the Jewish calendar year (plus the fact that a number of the congregants who live close by probably came back later in the afternoon for the concluding services of the holiday). We don't live in walking distance, rather a 20 minute drive away, and we stayed until about 3:15 PM (at the conclusion of one the the larger segments of the service). I actually enjoy the services and the melodies our cantor uses. I guess what bothered me most was how noisy it got as the rabbi completed his sermon, and the cantor starting chanting the next part of the service. As a whole, the congregants in my synagogue are pretty respectful and participatory in services (so many competent Torah readers, it's amazing), but this yearly "exodus" does make me feel a little uncomfortable. Thankfully it doesn't seem to happen during other holidays and regular Shabbat (Sabbath) services, which end by 12:30 PM (starting at 9:30 AM).

[judiz]

I know all temples do it different, at my temple the memorial service is in between the afternoon service and the concluding service. Last night the Rabbi apologized for "begging" but said "I've been here 40 years, I know you all are going to leave after the memorial service is over, but can some of you please stay for the concluding service?"

[paskatefan]

^ Our Yizkor (memorial) service is at about 4:30 PM. We went home, I attended a closer synagogue's 4 PM Yizkor service, came home, napped until 7:15 PM (shofar blowing time at our home congregation), and then we broke the fast shortly after that.

Our previous synagogue merged with our current one back in 2004, and we were used to having the Yizkor service after the Torah service. Back then the mass "exodus" took place after Yizkor.

[AliasJohnDoe]

When I go the cinema on my own I like to sit as far away from others as possible. Does that make me weird?

It might. I'm weird that way.

I usually go to the cinema alone on a Monday or Tuesday for the early afternoon show, when there are only about 15-20 people in the theatre. I usually have a 10 seat radius of empty seats around me....which I like. And I never go to "Premieres", it's toooo crowded for me. I usually wait for a week or 2 after a films release to go see it.

[PDilemma]

Actually my pet peeve are people who have a cold and won't blow their nose. They keep sucking the snot back in instead of blowing it out. .

This is what teenagers do. I used to hand them tissues when I was a teacher. Most of them would look at me blankly and say "what?" when I did.