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Thread: A bra?!

  1. #41
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    I also don't see the big deal. She wants to wear clothes designed for females. It's not like the next step is sleeping around and smoking pot.

    My grandma bought me a matching bra/panty set when I was about that age but I thought it was embarrassing and wouldn't wear it. If I'd wanted to wear it, my parents would've been fine with it.

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    My MIL used to buy my oldest DD little short sport tops to wear underneath cropped shirts in the summer, so we called them bras when she asked for one. "Oh, you've been wearing those for a long time!"

    For my twins, I went to Belk, which is a good department store, and asked for "training bras." They didn't have anything like it! The lingerie saleswoman said everyone uses sports bras now.

    Kids really are rushed to grow up these days by the world in general. Enjoy the last few years before she DOES need a brassiere and you have to deal with the world of teenagers.

    The latest middle school trend is to wear camisoles instead of brassieres. Some of these girls need far more support and modesty. (They do wear one or more "outer" shirts, well, my kids don't have a choice. Camis on their own aren't allowed - no spaghetti straps or strapless blouses.)
    Last edited by FigureSpins; 09-30-2011 at 03:21 PM.

  3. #43
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    Quote Originally Posted by myhoneyhoney View Post
    I'm not too concerned about that. She's shown me that she can handle it. For example, Labor Day weekend, for some reason a lot of her friends got their ears pierced that weekend. They were showing them to her and telling her she should get hers pierced too. I asked her if she wanted her ears pierced and she looked at me like I was crazy. She exclaimed, "Mommy, they hurt themselves, they put holes in their ears on purpose! Why would I do that?!" To this day she's the only one without "bling" and she hasn't not uttered a peep to change it.
    Quote Originally Posted by myhoneyhoney View Post
    Really, should I be resisting something that will help her cover up? Shouldn't I reserve that for if she wants to cover less?
    ROFLOL! Good for both of you!

    I had a discussion with my BFF (Psychologist/Social Worker) about daughters and Barbie dolls. She made a funny statement about how Barbie is such a poor role model: can't hold a job, is a clothes horse, is fickle with her boyfriend (Ken vs. GI Joe), has lots of nice things, lives in a penthouse and drives a convertible with no visible means of support, money-wise or body-wise, lol. Actually, she called Barbie a slut and a gold-digger.

    I told my BFF that if Barbie could encourage my daughter to brush her hair on her own, that earned her a rent-free room in my house, lol.
    My DD (then 6 or 7) fought us at every turn about toothbrushing, bathing, and wearing untorn, clean clothing. Given her choice, she wanted to look like a neglected street urchin with wild, tangled hair.

  4. #44
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    One of my daughters developed (a lot!) very early, one very late. I let them be the measure if they were ready or not. If it makes her more comfortable, no matter the reason, I think she should have it.
    If this is to end in fire
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  5. #45
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    At some point, even before girls get breast buds, they become self-conscious about their nipples showing through or being outlined inside their clothes. Perhaps that's what's happening to your daughter. IMO, it's just part of becoming aware of your body and soon-to-hit puberty.
    "Nature is a damp, inconvenient sort of place where birds and animals wander about uncooked."

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    Tell her that nowdays a lot of fit, sexy, free women often wear cups, if the dress code is right.

  7. #47

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    Quote Originally Posted by myhoneyhoney View Post
    I'm not too concerned about that. She's shown me that she can handle it.

    She exclaimed, "Mommy, they hurt themselves, they put holes in their ears on purpose! Why would I do that?!" To this day she's the only one without "bling" and she hasn't not uttered a peep to change it.
    Good for her and for you! Hope she holds the same on tattoos or anything "primitive tribal". My parents (back in Russia) used to show me expedition fotos from African, Oceanic and Latin American jungles with natives who had bones in their ears and noses and piercing and tattoos and bird feathers sticking out of various parts of their bodies.... Just looking at those fotos killed my desire for-ever to mutilate myself....

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    I don't know about bras at 8, but your daughter sounds like she is a real sweetheart (wanting to knit caps for premmies), so it sounds like her friends are a good influence. Maybe as some posters have suggested she sees it as a girly thing, not a sexual thing.

  9. #49
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    Quote Originally Posted by FigureSpins View Post
    I had a discussion with my BFF (Psychologist/Social Worker) about daughters and Barbie dolls. She made a funny statement about how Barbie is such a poor role model: can't hold a job, is a clothes horse, is fickle with her boyfriend (Ken vs. GI Joe), has lots of nice things, lives in a penthouse and drives a convertible with no visible means of support, money-wise or body-wise, lol. Actually, she called Barbie a slut and a gold-digger.
    My Barbies never followed the storyline that Mattel gave them. I'm sure my parents were relieved to discover my Barbie having her own apartment in my bookcase and going to work. I switched to using Skipper after a while, because I wanted to make her clothes and I didn't know how to sew darts for Barbie's enormous boobs.

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    Didn't one of the major stores, I think it was Abercrombie, get in trouble last year for having padded--was it bathing suits or bras--for very young girls? Disgusting.

    I think the cami look is fine, they look like cut off undershirts and there is obviously no padding of any sort, but 8 surely is young. Also, the keeping up with the Joneses thing is horrendous, girl or boy (earrings, body piercings, tattoos), now either sex want cell phones, IPods and IPads in 3rd grade. My grandkids are not getting any, although I did say that a one way phone to call Mom could be useful if grandson (9) was dropped off for soccer practice and it started to rain, but daughter won't buy that.

    My one and only granddaughter is allergic to milk. She drank soy, then rice, and now almond milk as a substitute to real milk. But my DIL was adamant about the progression away from soy because she feared it would bring on early maturity, boobs and periods. She's only 6/7, so no progress there yet, thank heavens. But almond milk it is.

  11. #51
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    Quote Originally Posted by michiruwater View Post
    I started at 10 but I also developed quite early.

    No point in buying one until they need them, I think.
    In which case I'd be going around braless even now. But at a certain age it does start to get inappropriate...

    Quote Originally Posted by myhoneyhoney View Post
    oh yeah, we've had that talk already. She was set on having those backpacks/binders/folders with those "tween/teen" stars plastered all over them like her friends are buying but I told her no. I've seen her classmates and wow, almost all the girls have those things, oye! Anyhoo, she knows that just because others do something, it doesn't mean she should also ans she's always been fine with that. For some reason this stuck with her.

    Vesperholly, she doesn't get allowance, the little chicky is flat broke, lol.

    funny, she just asked me to teach her how to knit so she can make baby hats. (I knit preemie caps/booties and donate them to NICU's) Maybe I'll have her do that as "payment" for her new bras.
    That's a good idea - she'll have to pay for something that she doesn't "need" right now.

    And yeah, essence_of_soy has a good point - why spend money where you don't have to? Even kid's bras are kind of expensive!

  12. #52
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    Well, I stopped by Walmart today and got her a pack of these. I know she would LOVE these Hello Kitty ones but they didn't have her size. If she ends up actually wearing the camis I'll order the Hello Kitty ones for her. Knowing her, she'll want to stamp the plain one with her Hello Kitty rubber stamps, lol. I guess I'll have to find some fabric paint.

  13. #53
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    When I was a kid, the girls started getting bras around 10-11 and I was one of the last ones to get one. Even though I was the only kid who had anything to put in one! I thought the whole thing was strange. I was in no hurry to get one and training bras? Just a way to get $$ out of people who had no breast but wish they did was my POV. (I think I was already a mini-hippy. )

    Mini-Mac OTOH was begging for a bra pretty early. I did make her wait longer than she wanted but when her friends started giving her their old ones as hand-me-downs I gave in. Plus, like me, she developed early and now, at 12, she actually needs a bra and can't wear the ones from the little girls department.

    I did put my foot down over the $54 one from Victoria's Secret though. I'm not paying that kind of money for something she's going to grow out of in a matter of months!
    Actual bumper sticker series: Jesus is my co-pilot. Satan is my financial advisor. Budha is my therapist. L. Ron Hubbard owes me $50.

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    I don't buy a bra from victoria's secret unless it's on sale (a good sale) or I have a coupon.

  15. #55
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    The Hello Kitty ones are very cute and age appropriate. This is cute too: http://www.walmart.com/catalog/produ...ndingMethod=rr
    "Nature is a damp, inconvenient sort of place where birds and animals wander about uncooked."

    from Speedy Death

  16. #56
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    Quote Originally Posted by myhoneyhoney View Post
    Well, I stopped by Walmart today and got her a pack of these. I know she would LOVE these Hello Kitty ones but they didn't have her size. If she ends up actually wearing the camis I'll order the Hello Kitty ones for her. Knowing her, she'll want to stamp the plain one with her Hello Kitty rubber stamps, lol. I guess I'll have to find some fabric paint.
    I don't think you'll have to worry about them corrupting your daughter's independent thinking skills. When I was 8 I wanted an Atari and a cassette player. They were all the rage. I got them. And yet, here I am at 41, and I'm perfectly capable of telling someone to go

    Spoiler

    if they try to coerce me into doing something I don't want to do. Some might even say I'm a little TOO capable.
    The fastest thing out of New Jersey since Tricky Nicky in a Muscovian handbasket

  17. #57
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    uh... I'm 35 and still haven't purchased a bra from Victoria's Secret, lol. Target bras work fine for me.

    IceAlisa, those are adorable!

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    My mom actually made me buy bras before I needed them. It was terrible. She took me shopping for my first sports one at 10, and my first padded one at 12 and a half. I didn't start wearing the sports ones until 12 and padded ones at 14. (I'm 16 now and a 28A)

    But since then, I've also realized that it was really really hard for me to swallow the whole concept because I've come to terms with the fact that I'm transgendered. It just felt so wrong, as a child I never saw myself growing up to be a woman, so it's been really weird for me. I now wear a binder to compress my (already small) chest so that it looks male contoured under my everyday clothing. But that's beside the point, and probably way too much information for this thread.

    I guess what I'm saying is that I'm totally supportive of getting her them if they make her more comfortable and she wants them. I think it's really up to the child, and I know that my mom pushing them on me before I was ready was very detrimental, even though I don't embody your typical daughter narrative.

  19. #59
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tinami Amori View Post
    Good for her and for you! Hope she holds the same on tattoos or anything "primitive tribal". My parents (back in Russia) used to show me expedition fotos from African, Oceanic and Latin American jungles with natives who had bones in their ears and noses and piercing and tattoos and bird feathers sticking out of various parts of their bodies.... Just looking at those fotos killed my desire for-ever to mutilate myself....
    If only it worked on the trendy ones who wear the "gauge" earrings. They mutilate their earlobes with stretchers to enlarge the holes - I saw a college boy last weekend whose holes were - no lie - at least a 1/4" in diameter. It looked like he had been shot straight through the head, side-to-side. The "look" just turns my stomach and when my oldest wears them, it makes me want to cry.

  20. #60
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    Quote Originally Posted by vesperholly View Post
    My Barbies never followed the storyline that Mattel gave them. I'm sure my parents were relieved to discover my Barbie having her own apartment in my bookcase and going to work. I switched to using Skipper after a while, because I wanted to make her clothes and I didn't know how to sew darts for Barbie's enormous boobs.
    If you and I had lived nearby growing up, we could have played Barbies together. My and my sister's Barbies didn't follow any Mattel storyline either. Heck, none of them was named Barbie either. Each new doll always got it's own name. Ours also went to work and had real social issues to deal with. It always drove us nuts when other girls came over or if we went to someone else's house and they wanted to play because the other girls always wanted to play either Barbie goes to the mall or Barbie goes out with Ken. We finally got smart about it and when other kids came over, we'd have Mom tell them that she didn't want all of us getting the Barbie things out and making a mess.

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