Russian “Soap”: We are True Friends but must I let your take a baby on our vacatio?

[allezfred]

I'd love to see what $60,000 of dental work looks like.

[escaflowne9282]

I'd love to see what $60,000 of dental work looks like.

Among three people in the US , it likely wouldn't be hard to arrive at .

In any case, Katya sounds like a user and manipulator and an incredible piece of work .

[michiruwater]

Mishka “knew what he was doing” perhaps to the same extend as a young pretty girl who one day dresses sexy and gets date-raped by her high-school boyfriend.

WHAT??

If a boyfriend date-rapes his girlfriend, then what you have is a fcuking scoundrel who did an absolutely unforgivable thing and whom deserves to go to prison. Whether or not she 'dressed sexy', the 'young pretty girl' is 0% to blame for getting raped.

Not in even the same ocean, let alone league, as a man who purposefully marries a woman who acts in the way you've described Katya.

[bek]

Mishka “knew what he was doing” perhaps to the same extend as a young pretty girl who one day dresses sexy and gets date-raped by her high-school boyfriend.

A girl should be able to dress sexy without getting raped. But I will say this Kayta sounds like a real user. There's no reason the son and her daughter couldn't both stay. And the entire concept that she thought her husband should give his stepdaughter 360 K is ludicrious.

Not in even the same ocean, let alone league, as a man who purposefully marries a woman who acts in the way you've described Katya.

I agree with you there not the same thing. But I suspect Kayta didn't act that way when they were dating. A man who has an ex wife who is as congenial as his first wife (with lets not go crazy on dividing assets etc) Is probably not as equipped to deal with a Kayta.

[michiruwater]

Oh, I'm sure she didn't act that way when they were dating. It doesn't matter. It's not even close to the same thing and they cannot be compared.

[Nan]

Mishka “knew what he was doing” perhaps to the same extend as a young pretty girl who one day dresses sexy and gets date-raped by her high-school boyfriend.

I don't want to speak for Tinami, but the way I read this was, "He is not more responsible for getting sucked into this relationship than a girl is who gets date-raped." NOT that a girl who dresses sexy is responsible if she is raped.

[bek]

Oh, I'm sure she didn't act that way when they were dating. It doesn't matter. It's not even close to the same thing and they cannot be compared.

Well Nan actually is right that what Kayta did could be considered in a way fraud. Although He should have seen her true colors along time ago.

[michiruwater]

I don't want to speak for Tinami, but the way I read this was, "He is not more responsible for getting sucked into this relationship than a girl is who gets date-raped." NOT that a girl who dresses sexy is responsible if she is raped.

Then why did she take time to mention that she was dressing in a sexy fashion?

[Andora]

I don't want to speak for Tinami, but the way I read this was, "He is not more responsible for getting sucked into this relationship than a girl is who gets date-raped." NOT that a girl who dresses sexy is responsible if she is raped.

Yeah, I didn't get that from her post at all. And if she didn't mean to say a a woman shares responsibility for being raped, then maybe Tinami could try and phrase things differently.

[Nan]

Then why did she take time to mention that she was dressing in a sexy fashion?

Maybe because some people do blame girls who dress that way for being raped.

[kwanfan1818]

I'd love to see what $60,000 of dental work looks like.

A few crowns, a few tooth implants, maybe some capping per person.

---

I didn't mean that Mishka's pattern was to find a manipulator, but women who take the reins, so to speak. I think it's great that he's recognized his limits and her patterns and has said genug.

It's not that Katya's behavior isn't understandable -- she's doing what she thinks she needs to for herself and her own -- but she's been about as subtle as a cement truck, and maybe she'll realize that her husband wants feel like he counts as part of her own, not just her banker.

[michiruwater]

Maybe because some people do blame girls who dress that way for being raped.

Which is what it sounded like Tinami was saying. I've read the post several times and have yet to make it sound like your angle is what she was going for. It sounds like she was insinuating like a girl who dresses sexily shares blame for her own rape.

[DFJ]

I'd love to see what $60,000 of dental work looks like.

Not difficult to run up a bill like that. Implants will do it easily.

[Vagabond]

It sounds like she was insinuating like a girl who dresses sexily shares blame for her own rape.

It does?

I guess we’re all responsible, ultimately, for choices we make. But I must say, for guys and girls in this circle of people it is sometimes hard in every case to see the “bad guy”.

....

Mishka has never been to Russia since the family left in the 70’s. He does not know the Wolf-World Russia is now. He is a decent person, with decent friends, decent employees, decent clients….. and thinks all people are like that.

It was hard to know that the supposed free-spirited easy-going world-traveler Katya, who said she loves to travel and that’s why she is a stewardess, with an adult daughter living her own life, Katya who said she at an age now where she is looking for a good partner to explore the world with, would be such a grounding pragmatic ill-mannered ambitious leach?

Mishka “knew what he was doing” perhaps to the same extend as a young pretty girl who one day dresses sexy and gets date-raped by her high-school boyfriend.

Tinami can speak for herself, but, as I read it, she was saying that it was hard to see Mishka (or the hypothetical pretty girl) as being bad or responsible for the outcome even if "we’re all responsible, ultimately, for choices we make." Dressing sexy is a choice; being raped isn't. Marrying Katya (who said she was looking for a partner to explore the world with) was a choice, trusting her with the birth control was a choice, but being shackled to a leach and a shrew doesn't appear to be something Mishka chose to do.

[escaflowne9282]

Well Nan actually is right that what Kayta did could be considered in a way fraud. Although He should have seen her true colors along time ago.

Sometimes when you are around someone who is as manipulative as this woman seems to be, you may find that you have let common sense go completely out the window.
I saw a similar situation happen with my father and someone who he considered to be almost like a brother. Without going into too many details ,his "brother" stole from him time and time again and everyone tried to warn him about his true nature. It got very bad before the cord was finally cut.

My former boss, *RBLWSHBD, was also a very manipulative person when it came to his former clients, the people who he was renting his office suite from, his partner, his family, and me. He was able to string people along without any conscience about what he was doing; he promised money he never paid, he never paid his rent when he was supposed to , he constantly borrowed money from relatives and from his partner. He even took on new workers when he knew he couldn't pay them.
Despite all this, it took his being arrested on a bench warrant for check fraud for me to finally stop working for him. AFAIK, his partner and the owners of the suite still haven't cut the cord with him.

Tinami Amori , please tell me that your friend Anya is going to press charges against Katya's Thieveing-ass daughter when she comes to visit. I have no idea in which state you live, but here in NY theft of property in excess of $1000 is considered grand larceny and is a felony!

*Rat Bastard Lawyer who should have been disbarred

[IceAlisa]

Oh my. What a thread, however did I miss it?

As to the original topic: I love to travel but now that I have a child, especially one in elementary school, my travel is limited to his school vacation to child friendly destinations with friends or family who also have kids; or him staying with grandparents; or no travel at all.

When I was getting married, I made it clear that all children were to stay home for the wedding. It's unrealistic to bring small kids to these events and expect them to behave and not disrupt.

However, a friend ignored this and gleefully announced that our wedding will be their kid's social event of the season. I reminded that we've already announced to everyone that this is a no kids wedding. The friend said they cannot attend without their kid. I said I was sorry to hear that. A week before the wedding, the friend changed their mind and announced they were coming sans kid.

As a parent I do realize the universe does not revolve around my son as much as I would wish it would.

Katya sounds like a real tool.

[Tinami Amori]

I'd love to see what $60,000 of dental work looks like.

For 3 adults, living in Russia towards the end of Soviet days and the next 20 years in the “new Russia”, given the level of dental care for an average person, each will have to have all old fillings removed, several root canals, perhaps 7-10 caps, several other procedures and the follow up procedures. So $20,000 (given discount they were offered) per person, with teeth in such condition, is not very much money.

Tinami can speak for herself, but, as I read it, she was saying that it was hard to see Mishka (or the hypothetical pretty girl) as being bad or responsible for the outcome even if "we’re all responsible, ultimately, for choices we make." Dressing sexy is a choice; being raped isn't. Marrying Katya (who said she was looking for a partner to explore the world with) was a choice, trusting her with the birth control was a choice, but being shackled to a leach and a shrew doesn't appear to be something Mishka chose to do.

Tinami is speaking for herself. You understood me correctly. Other interpritations suggesting I said "sexy dress deserves rape" are nothing but provocations.....

Tinami Amori , please tell me that your friend Anya is going to press charges against Katya's Thieveing-ass daughter when she comes to visit. I have no idea in which state you live, but here in NY theft of property in excess of $1000 is considered grand larceny and is a felony!

Mishka paid Anya back for all Katya’s daughter took.

Theoretically Anya could file a suit in small claims court.
- Anya can’t sue Katya. Katya did not take stuff out of the country. Her daughter did.
- Her daughter is not a minor, so Anya would have to serve her.
- Anya would have to serve a foreign citizen, which is difficult and so would be attendance of cour-date.
- Anya would have to prove she “lent only one suite”. While the daughter could be claiming “I thought she gave me her old stuff” and that is is all a “misunderstanding” because Anya was talking to Katya and not daughter about this transaction.
- The daughter would still be responsible for the cost of used items, if judge chose to believe that she took it by mistake but still took it, but not criminal actions.
- and at best Anya would be able to claim is depreciated value of her used gear, and prove the original cost of each item. Since Mishka paid her back, there is no need for a suit.

Also, me being from Russia, and with all my outrage over issues of theft and crime when it comes to others’ property and assets, until you mentioned “suing” ….. it never crossed my mind that this situation is a “court issue”…… . To me it is about “an obnoxious child of one friend who took another friend’s property”….. a totally private matter between families, which is solved very simply by taking the offender’s car keys and driving off with their car, or taking the wallet with credit cards and driver’s license, and returning either one when the debt is paid. I think US courts have real criminals to deal with to be bothered with family matters (nobody owes me money)…..

But, I need to start changing my thinking…… So thank you for reminding me this can be settled in court.

It's not that Katya's behavior isn't understandable -- she's doing what she thinks she needs to for herself and her own -- but she's been about as subtle as a cement truck, and maybe she'll realize that her husband wants feel like he counts as part of her own, not just her banker.

Russian attractive single woman works for Aeroflot as stewardess on Moscow-New York flight exactly for a purpose to find “a banker” or a “sponsor” rather than a “life partner”…. . How do you think she got such thought after routes at MOW-JFK?.... . Many of these “girls” are on a hunt, even the married ones…. if not for a husband then at least for “a good friend” to take them to dinners and shopping during crew layover.

I know that because of my 20-year work with Russian airlines …… Mishka does not know that, and being a good guy he would not believe it on words.

There is an old Russian saying: “Finding a prick to take you all the way to heaven”….

When I was getting married, I made it clear that all children were to stay home for the wedding. It's unrealistic to bring small kids to these events and expect them to behave and not disrupt.
.........
However, a friend ignored this and gleefully announced that our wedding will be their kid's social event of the season.
.........
A week before the wedding, the friend changed their mind and announced they were coming sans kid.

This is the right attitude on your part and the right decision made by the mentioned friends as far as my value system. But you and I obviously believe that children should be planned, and having a child is a personal choice, that while having a child is “normal” not having a child is also “normal”, as well as a right of an individual to chose what and who to accept in one’s private and NORMAL world.

I’ve argued on several occasions with people who believe otherwise:
- that for a human to want and have children is normal, and abnormal not to want or not to have children;
- to have children is not a choice – it must happen, all normal people want children;
- not to have children is a deviation from norm – people with such deviations have less rights and should not limit the “normal” people and their normal family formation even in their own private space.
- That if a person/family without children has/have friends who have children; the family with children (normal family) has priority in their needs and preferences. a) Because they hold the normal family structure opposite to abnormal; b) because friends must make adjustments to the specifics in life of other friends, especially if such adjustments cause by “normal events” such as having a child.

I disagree, of course. I believe that in my private space or plans, I can chose what to accept or not. But I am running out of arguments, mostly with wives of my Russian business associates..... and their 2nd and 3rd wives..... and their secretaries/mistresses ...... and their "other girls".

[marbri]

I just have one request. Can you post the results of the paternity test when they come in? I´m enjoying this soap opera

[Nan]

I just have one request. Can you post the results of the paternity test when they come in? I´m enjoying this soap opera

I'll admit to being curious, too.