How would you react?

[DarrellH]

Pick your battles. Not every one is worth your energy or time.

[Aussie Willy]

Actually he didn't hold the lift. I just got into it quickly and pressed the button to close the doors (made sure there was no one else coming). And that is why he assumed I was on some kind of mission to go and spend money. Because I looked like I was familiar with the lift and looked like I knew what I was doing.

However I don't think I was being rude. I might have been indignant but I actually said it in matter of fact way. He made a factually incorrect comment and I corrected him. There was really nothing more in it than that. And he realised pretty quickly that he had said the wrong thing to the wrong person.

[allezfred]

They're in the same category as the original post in that they are all gender-sterotyped things that some men feel free to say to women who are complete strangers.

It was in a SHOPPING centre fercryingoutloud.

And he realised pretty quickly that he had said the wrong thing to the wrong person.

I'll bet he did.

[Aussie Willy]

They're in the same category as the original post in that they are all gender-sterotyped things that some men feel free to say to women who are complete strangers.

Well there are also a lot of women who say gender-stereotyped things to women too. If it had been a woman who had said what that guy said to me (and I could imagine the initial comment coming from some women as well) I would have probably responded exactly the same way. So when it comes down to it wasn't who said it but rather what was said.

Years ago I had some woman serving at a deli comment to me when I said I was really craving some fetta cheese "well you know what that means" to which I gave her a quizzical look and she had to explain herself. Because obviously when you crave something you must be pregnant! To which I said that was not true and I just felt like some cheese. She was kind of embarrassed. But again another stereotype but this time coming from a woman.

[rfisher]

Nice of him to hold the elevator. I hate being in elevators with strangers so I'd have pushed the close button...

...and then rush off to that sale

Like pushing the close button and pretending you're pushing the open button then saying oops as the door closes in their face. Not that I've ever done that.

[Prancer]

I don't get what your objection to my post is.

Weeeeellllllll. The two comments you cited don't appear to be something that other women in elevators commonly hear from men. Do you hear such things a lot, or are those just two things that have been said to you by two different men? If that is the case, then we basically have three sexist comments made to women in elevators, which means that this

I also have noticed that men in elevators seem to think they have the right to comment about women all the time: "Smile! You'll look prettier!" Or if a woman has a snack in hand "Don't eat that, you'll get fat."

is, at best, something of a.......let's just call it a sweeping generalization.

[Beefcake]

Wow, loosen up Sandy baby! Er, I don't know why this reminded me of that.

But, on topic, please remind me never to show chivalry OR be corny pleasant to some of you women!

Unfortunately, I wouldn't which was which, so I guess I'll need to just look at the ceiling and ignore everyone. Just let the elevator door close always ... and make sure that there is no expression on my face as the door closes, lest that be taken wrongly too.

Next: Unlearn 40 some years of never leaving the toilet seat up.

[rfisher]

I'd hold the door for you Beefy. And I wouldn't play Charlie Brown and slam it shut in your face. Maybe.

[marbri]

Now leaving the toilet seat up, that IS the kind of sh*t that pisses me off

[Tinami Amori]

Years ago I had some woman serving at a deli comment to me when I said I was really craving some fetta cheese "well you know what that means"....

..... and you said "sure I do..... I am Medusa's and Cerberus' love child"..

Look...... so that no man speaks to you in an elevator, next time just twiddle a boomerang between you fingers and stare at his crotch...

[Norlite]

"Smile! You'll look prettier!" Or if a woman has a snack in hand "Don't eat that, you'll get fat."

Suck that beer gut in, you look thinner. Keep that hat on, hides the baldness.

[milanessa]

Suck that beer gut in, you look thinner. Keep that hat on, hides the baldness.

Somehow I don't think you've overheard those.

[mikemba]

Weeeeellllllll. The two comments you cited don't appear to be something that other women in elevators commonly hear from men. Do you hear such things a lot, or are those just two things that have been said to you by two different men? If that is the case, then we basically have three sexist comments made to women in elevators, which means that this



is, at best, something of a.......let's just call it a sweeping generalization.

It was not a sweeping generalization: the first sentence of my post indicated that I have also engaged with enjoyable (inference: not gender sterotyped) conversation with strangers.

I was just one of many posters who added some similar stories to what the original poster said: other women have been called honey; I was told to smile because it would make me look prettier and to not to eat a donut because it might malke me fat. Although some posters did not give examples of the comments men have made they have talked about how they handle the comments. So I was just another person throwing an example or two onto the pile.

Honestly, in many of your posts I have read in the past you seem to purposely try to miss the point of other posters so that you can disagree with them, and you seem to be doing the exact same thing with me. If you'd like to purposely misinterpret my post go ahead; others have seemed to understand it just fine.

[mikemba]

Well there are also a lot of women who say gender-stereotyped things to women too.

I absolutely agree with you.

[Prancer]

It was not a sweeping generalization

Actually, you're right, as a sweeping generalization would first require a generally accepted rule and I don't think "men in elevators seem to think they have the right to comment about women all the time" quite falls into that category.

It must be something else. Hmmm, what could it be? I know there's a term for it.

So I was just another person throwing an example or two onto the pile.

Exactly. You have an example or two, and from this you extrapolate that "men in elevators seem to think they have the right to comment about women all the time."

Again, there's a term that perfectly describes such a statement, but it's escaping me.

Honestly, in many of your posts I have read in the past you seem to purposely try to miss the point of other posters so that you can disagree with them, and you seem to be doing the exact same thing with me. If you'd like to purposely misinterpret my post go ahead; others have seemed to understand it just fine.

I'm terribly sorry; the next time you ask why someone objects to your post in an open discussion, I will do my best to ignore the invitation.

[kwanfan1818]

It was in a SHOPPING centre fercryingoutloud.

The what the feck was he doing there that was supposed to be so different than what she was doing there?

[agalisgv]

Honestly, in many of your posts I have read in the past you seem to purposely try to miss the point of other posters so that you can disagree with them, and you seem to be doing the exact same thing with me.

My impression is Prancer points out the logical inconsistencies in certain people's statements, and certain people get offended by that.

You said men do this all the time, and people challenged you on that. You seem to be conceding these are actually more isolated incidents--which is fine. But that would mean your previous assertion was in fact a sweeping generalization just as Prancer noted.

Either that or a gross stereotype--take your pick.

[mikemba]

Actually, you're right, as a "sweeping generalization" would first require a generally accepted rule and I don't think "men in elevators seem to think they have the right to comment about women all the time" quite falls into that category.

It must be something else. Hmmm, what could it be? I know there's a term for it.



Exactly. You have an example or two, and from this you extrapolate that "men in elevators seem to think they have the right to comment about women all the time."

Again, there's a term that perfectly describes such a statement, but it's escaping me.



I'm terribly sorry; the next time you ask why someone objects to your post in an open discussion, I will do my best to ignore the invitation.

I asked the person I quoted, not you.

When I come to FSU, it's to engage in light-hearted. brief chats. I am not doing my dissertation all over again; I don't thnk providing numeorus examples of supporting data is needed before I offer my thoughts on someone's chance encounter in an elevator.

I, like several people here, offered an opinion and a a few examples. That's what I do on message boards.

Why you are so determined to be mean to someone who threw in a few thoughts is quite bewildering. I do, however, accept the apology you offered. I realize it was sarcastic, but I accept it nonetheless.

Peace, everyone. This thread clearly isn't worth any more of my time.

[Prancer]

My impression is Prancer points out the logical inconsistencies in certain people's statements, and certain people get offended by that.

Why, thank you, agalisgv.

I asked the person I quoted, not you.

It's an open discussion board. If you want to have a private discussion with another poster, you should use the PM function.

I don't thnk providing numeorus examples of supporting data is needed before I offer my thoughts on someone's chance encounter in an elevator.

I don't, either. That wasn't my point at all.

[Japanfan]

Well there are also a lot of women who say gender-stereotyped things to women too. If it had been a woman who had said what that guy said to me (and I could imagine the initial comment coming from some women as well) I would have probably responded exactly the same way. So when it comes down to it wasn't who said it but rather what was said.

I'm even more bothered when women do it because they are usually repeating viewpoints that are used to belittle and diminish women.

I remember when a female cousin told me that our mutual male cousin was pussy*******. This was deeply offensive to me because it one of the most misogynistic words going.