Page 2 of 6 FirstFirst 1234 ... LastLast
Results 21 to 40 of 110
  1. #21

    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Location
    Melbourne, Australia
    Age
    48
    Posts
    17,942
    vCash
    500
    Rep Power
    36617
    Thanks everyone. Some of you responses are brillant. It is moments like this that I wish I had the quickness of mind to come up with something really devastatingly Oscar Wilde funny. But it always happens after the event.

    Quote Originally Posted by taf2002 View Post
    ETA: while we're on the subject, I can't stand to be called little lady, youngun', honey, darling, or the like. These are also demeaning, just like assuming all women are gaga for sales & shopping is. I despise shopping & I have to be forced into a mall. If I was rushing into an elevator it would probably be because I was rushing to get out of there.
    Oh you are not the only one sweetie honey love darling (sorry! ). Those people just really bug me. I let them do it three times and then I tell them how much I hate being called it. Usually in light hearted way, never in a pissed off way, but they usually get the message.

    The other one is a particular nickname that people give me (a variation on my actual name). There are some people I can accept it from but others I can't. I think it is those who assume a sense of familiarity with you that you would much rather them not have, who are the ones I hate doing it and I usually end up telling them so.
    When you are up to your arse in alligators it is difficult to remember you were only meant to be draining the swamp.

  2. #22
    Registered User
    Join Date
    May 2003
    Posts
    12,996
    vCash
    450
    Rep Power
    0
    Ugh, he's an ass of the worst kind. One who thinks he's clever but is just patronizingly stupid.

    I would have either ignored him, or given a


    Also hate the honey, sweetie, dear names from a stranger.


    Quote Originally Posted by genevieve View Post
    I hate people who make asinine comments because they think they're being funny

    Comments which are more often than not insultive. Yet say something equally rude in return, and they get all offended.

    Fools.

  3. #23

    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    Partying with Oda
    Posts
    4,226
    vCash
    1799
    Rep Power
    34903
    From what I can gather, he thought he was being funny. After all, he was inside the elevator and here you come, madly dashing to make it in there before the doors closed. He probably thought the whole thing was funny--if I saw you hightailing it in to the elevator, I might have thought so, too.

  4. #24

    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Location
    Melbourne, Australia
    Age
    48
    Posts
    17,942
    vCash
    500
    Rep Power
    36617
    Quote Originally Posted by skateboy View Post
    From what I can gather, he thought he was being funny. After all, he was inside the elevator and here you come, madly dashing to make it in there before the doors closed. He probably thought the whole thing was funny--if I saw you hightailing it in to the elevator, I might have thought so, too.
    Ah but the question is - would you say what he did?
    When you are up to your arse in alligators it is difficult to remember you were only meant to be draining the swamp.

  5. #25
    Hey, Kool-Aid!
    Join Date
    Jun 2001
    Posts
    11,182
    vCash
    500
    Rep Power
    2492
    Quote Originally Posted by Aussie Willy View Post
    Ah but the question is - would you say what he did?
    You are female. You were in a shopping centre, a place people go to spend money. You were racing to get on an elevator. I would have laughed it off or ignored him, I wouldn't have dumped my issues on him
    Tessa and Scott: Thank you

  6. #26

    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Location
    Melbourne, Australia
    Age
    48
    Posts
    17,942
    vCash
    500
    Rep Power
    36617
    Quote Originally Posted by marbri View Post
    You are female. You were in a shopping centre, a place people go to spend money. You were racing to get on an elevator. I would have laughed it off or ignored him, I wouldn't have dumped my issues on him
    And your point is that the circumstances just lead to the inevitable conclusion that all I do in life is go shopping and spend money?

    I wouldn't construe challenging someone with a stereotype of a comeback to a comment that they placed on me without even knowing me as "dumping my issues on him". If I really wanted to dump on him I could have told him to f*ck off and stop being a pig ignorant sexist sh*thead. But I don't think that would have achieved much would it?
    When you are up to your arse in alligators it is difficult to remember you were only meant to be draining the swamp.

  7. #27

    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Two places! Atlanta suburbs and in the North Georgia Mountains
    Posts
    3,823
    vCash
    500
    Rep Power
    2169
    Quote Originally Posted by marbri View Post
    You are female. You were in a shopping centre, a place people go to spend money. You were racing to get on an elevator. I would have laughed it off or ignored him, I wouldn't have dumped my issues on him
    Why not? He was dumping his issues on AW!! Really! I can't believe you'd let this guy off the hook and chastise, though gently, AW for being disturbed by the encounter.

    OK, my response was to treat him like the insect he was and ignore him with frigid countenance, letting him know he's beneath contempt and not worth a sentence however clever or pithy. And I stand by that.

  8. #28
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Aug 2004
    Posts
    9,802
    vCash
    500
    Rep Power
    0
    Quote Originally Posted by taf2002 View Post
    I wouldn't care if he was joking or not. I don't like when total strangers think they have the right to joke with me, plus his comment was not funny in the least. I think Aussie Willy reacted like I would except I wouldn't have thought of as good a comeback as she did.
    When you take a risk and make a joke at/toward a stranger then you also take the risk that the intended might not take it well also. It happens. Big deal.

  9. #29

    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Posts
    1,173
    vCash
    500
    Rep Power
    0
    I probably would have laughed, unless his body language and tone clearly indicated he wasn't joking and was being a jerk. It was probably funny seeing you run towards the elevator in a big rush, and he was just trying to make a friendly joke.

    I don't know, YMMV obviously, but I can't imagine getting upset over a harmless little comment made in a joking fashion. Even if the joke wasn't funny, or you think it's in bad taste... are you ever going to see the guy again? Why bother to "put him in his place" or let him know you thought it wasn't a good thing to say? It's not like he flashed you his naughty bits or went on some rant about how women are inferior to men. I think your response came off more rude than his initial joke, to be honest.

    Mind you, I don't really think saying rude things to strangers is the way to go even if they said something rude to you first. Why fight rudeness with more rudeness? Be above that and just don't respond if his comment really bothered you that much. And then forget it and move on with your life.

    Also, maybe it's a Canadian thing, but I don't mind dear/honey/love at all, nor do I mind saying hello to strangers or striking up a conversation in the elevator. I almost always get a "What can I get for you, dear?" from the Tim Horton's server. I also usually talk to the cashier at the grocery store about the weather, tell him/her to have a nice day, etc. I find it more pleasant that way. Spread love not hate people!

  10. #30
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Dec 2002
    Location
    Celebrating Jeremy Abbott's FS at 2014 Worlds...
    Posts
    21,222
    vCash
    500
    Rep Power
    0
    Quote Originally Posted by triple_toe View Post
    Also, maybe it's a Canadian thing, but I don't mind dear/honey/love at all, nor do I mind saying hello to strangers or striking up a conversation in the elevator. I almost always get a "What can I get for you, dear?" from the Tim Horton's server. I also usually talk to the cashier at the grocery store about the weather, tell him/her to have a nice day, etc. I find it more pleasant that way. Spread love not hate people!
    Are you sure you aren't really from the Deep South (or were possibly a Southern Belle in a previous life)?

  11. #31

    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Posts
    1,173
    vCash
    500
    Rep Power
    0
    Haha, maybe! I've come to realize that my attitude is not common everywhere, especially on the East Coast of the USA... I've gotten some funny looks . Although generally, people seem to think I'm harmlessly insane so they smile back!

  12. #32

    Join Date
    Mar 2002
    Location
    Vancouver Canada
    Age
    55
    Posts
    12,720
    vCash
    500
    Rep Power
    11600
    Quote Originally Posted by Holley Calmes View Post
    Why not? He was dumping his issues on AW!! Really! I can't believe you'd let this guy off the hook and chastise, though gently, AW for being disturbed by the encounter.

    OK, my response was to treat him like the insect he was and ignore him with frigid countenance, letting him know he's beneath contempt and not worth a sentence however clever or pithy. And I stand by that.
    it would really depend on my mood at the moment. But if a man (or woman for that matters) judges me according to a negative or inaccurate gender stereotype, I might well get offended and reply with something snarky. Comments like that aren't too away from the stereotyped view that the man makes the money and the woman blows it on shopping, and I do find that offensive.

    I remember telling a male worker at the neighbourhood greengrocer that I hated shopping - they didn't have an ingredient I needed and I wasn't happy that I had to go to another store. The guy, who I knew to be a bit of a jerk, replied: "No way!! A woman who doesn't like shopping?"

    I just ignored him at the time, but on another day, I might have told him that in fact, yes, women exist who do not like to shop - it isn't genetic.

  13. #33

    Join Date
    Jul 2001
    Location
    Canada baby!
    Age
    38
    Posts
    7,591
    vCash
    500
    Rep Power
    3318
    I hate malls and shopping in general because of the crowds and people walking slow. I go from point a to point b very fast. I never window shop. I go in, grab what I need to grab then leave. The only exception is the book store. I could spend hours (and have) in a book store.

    If someone said that to me, I would look at them and tell them what I was really doing. If I needed to grab a quick bite, I would say that. I would say it in a good natured way, but stereotyping does drive me a bit crazy.

    My husband and I are the same about shopping. Do it as quick and as painless as possible.

    Christmas shopping is a nightmare to me...which reminds me I should start doing that asap so i don't have to deal with the crowds... lol!!
    ~I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it.~ (Charles R. Swindoll)

  14. #34
    Prick Admin
    Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Location
    Having a kiki
    Posts
    42,416
    vCash
    506
    Rep Power
    26080
    I agree with marbri and triple toe. Is it really worth getting worked up over a fairly innocuous comment from a complete stranger? I mean, you were at a shopping centre.
    To think that fun is simple fun, while earnest things are earnest, proves all too plain that neither one thou truthfully discernest.

  15. #35

    Join Date
    May 2004
    Age
    34
    Posts
    12,788
    vCash
    500
    Rep Power
    36617
    Quote Originally Posted by allezfred View Post
    I agree with marbri and triple toe. Is it really worth getting worked up over a fairly innocuous comment from a complete stranger? I mean, you were at a shopping centre.
    ITA. Why let yourself get annoyed? It's a waste of energy in my opinion.

  16. #36
    Hey, Kool-Aid!
    Join Date
    Jun 2001
    Posts
    11,182
    vCash
    500
    Rep Power
    2492
    Quote Originally Posted by Aussie Willy View Post
    And your point is that the circumstances just lead to the inevitable conclusion that all I do in life is go shopping and spend money?

    I wouldn't construe challenging someone with a stereotype of a comeback to a comment that they placed on me without even knowing me as "dumping my issues on him". If I really wanted to dump on him I could have told him to f*ck off and stop being a pig ignorant sexist sh*thead. But I don't think that would have achieved much would it?
    My point was to respond to your thread titled "How would you react?" I wouldn't overreact
    Tessa and Scott: Thank you

  17. #37

    Join Date
    Mar 2002
    Posts
    4,353
    vCash
    500
    Rep Power
    3933
    I would have let it go. Even you thought it was just an innocuous attempt at humor. When people are just trying to be friendly to me, I try to acknowledge the goodwill, if I think the intent is good. I understand the sexist overtones of what he said, I just think it's such a minor event, I'd smile politely and let it pass.

    Sorry, if the guy was me, I would have regretted that I didn't press close on the elevator door a bit faster. But again, I wouldn't have said 'damn, those elevator doors at this mall just don't close fast enough!' to your face. I would have given you the benefit of the doubt (had a bad day, in a rush etc), just as I think you could done that with him.
    Last edited by FunnyBut; 07-11-2011 at 11:32 AM.

  18. #38

    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Connecticut
    Posts
    1,940
    vCash
    500
    Rep Power
    852
    The biggest stereotyping happened to me when I was about 28 and living in Manhattan. My building had had gas main problems and Con Edison told the maintenance crew not to turn the gas back on until further notice. One of the maintenance turned it on before that and three apartments were severely blown out and three people died in the explosion. I was lucky enough to have been taking an exam at that time and missed the actaul explosion.

    I had some significant smoke damage to my clothes and had an insurance assessor come up to give me an estimate. He looked me up and down and said, "What's the matter, isn't living with Mommy and Daddy good enough for you?" implying that my parents were paying for my apartment's rent! I replied that I had been financially independent since I had been 17 and had this apartment because I was a nurse and needed to be near the hospital. Needless to say, the guy was so embarrassed that he upped my insurance estimate.

    I guess there will always be people who are judgmental.

  19. #39
    drinky typo pbp, closet hugger
    Join Date
    Feb 2003
    Location
    c'est genifique!
    Posts
    29,983
    vCash
    325
    Rep Power
    39317
    Quote Originally Posted by allezfred View Post
    I agree with marbri and triple toe. Is it really worth getting worked up over a fairly innocuous comment from a complete stranger? I mean, you were at a shopping centre.
    Quote Originally Posted by Angelskates View Post
    ITA. Why let yourself get annoyed? It's a waste of energy in my opinion.
    Because the comment is annoying?

    I wouldn't be ruminating over it after the fact, but a simple response to someone's ignorant joke takes no more energy than any other response.
    Q: Why can't I read the competition threads?
    A: Competition forums on the board are available to those with a Season Pass or a premium membership How to View Kiss & Cry

  20. #40

    Join Date
    Feb 2003
    Age
    51
    Posts
    334
    vCash
    500
    Rep Power
    178
    I'd have kept it short & sweet - "Heh, I wish!" I wouldn't bother to explain myself to him.

Page 2 of 6 FirstFirst 1234 ... LastLast

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •