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  1. #1

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    Special Needs Boy Removed From Church Service

    I thought about putting in the PI forum, and it may need to go there.

    Special Needs Boy Removed From Church Service

    I have wondered how often & willing churches would send children out for being too rowdy during a church service, but I never thought they should consider it for a disabled child.

    There were a number of things about this story that disturbed me, and not just from the standpoint of this family with the disabled child.

    1) Why does the front of the church look like a Target store? Oh, yeah, it is your typical megachurch.

    2) There is a story in the New Testament about a paralyzed man being lowered down from the roof by his friends while Jesus was preaching (Mark 2:1-12). Did Jesus send him away because he was a distraction? No, he healed him.

    3) So the mother offered to start a ministry at the church for the disabled and the church's answer was no and "The church focuses on worship, not ministry." Well, there is your main problem right there.

    4) "It is our goal at Elevation to offer a distraction-free environment for all our guests." People going to church are guests. Seriously?

    5) And what else would be a distraction? Singing off-key? Well, I guess I am not welcomed there, either.

    6) I think the mother gave up too quickly by being satisfied by being told that staff was going to receive training. I still would have gotten them the ADA complaint that I'm sure the staff training was a preemptive move against.

    Thoughts?
    Last edited by ilovepaydays; 06-12-2011 at 12:09 PM.

  2. #2

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    very sad.

    And I think ministry IS worship.

  3. #3

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    Don't they have Crying rooms where the parents can here the sermon while making sure their kids aren't heard?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Yehudi View Post
    Don't they have Crying rooms where the parents can here the sermon while making sure their kids aren't heard?
    Not in mega churches. In my previous evangelical life experience, children were expected to always be sent to children's activities or a nursery during services. And obviously, nothing was available for the disabled child.

    It's a fine line between keeping distractions down and not excluding children and families.

    The people who feed their children breakfast (cereal with milk) and read them stories out loud (not even whispering) at our masses, for example, need to be removed. My suggestion to them would be that they could feed the children and read the stories at home and then come to ten o'clock mass when it is all done instead of feeding them and reading stories in the pew at eight o'clock mass.

  5. #5

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    There is a story in the New Testament about a paralyzed man being lowered down from the roof by his friends while Jesus was preaching (Mark 2:1-12).
    Did Jesus send him away because he was a distraction? No, he healed him.
    The church needs an "attitude adjustment".
    They might start by reading that passage.

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    nevermind
    Last edited by taf2002; 06-12-2011 at 05:36 PM. Reason: changed my mind about offering my opinion

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by ilovepaydays View Post
    4) "It is our goal at Elevation to offer a distraction-free environment for all our guests." People going to church are guests. Seriously?
    I find this attitude really disturbing, to call parishioners at a church "guests". They are not visitors to a hotel or a restaurant or a store, who are paying to purchase a product or a service. They are part of the church.
    Who wants to watch rich people eat pizza? They must have loved that in Bangladesh. - Randy Newman on the 2014 Oscars broadcast

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    Quote Originally Posted by overedge View Post
    I find this attitude really disturbing, to call parishioners at a church "guests". They are not visitors to a hotel or a restaurant or a store, who are paying to purchase a product or a service. They are part of the church.
    I think a lot of church members consider themselves to be "guests in God's house" or something of that sort.

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by RockTheTassel View Post
    I think a lot of church members consider themselves to be "guests in God's house" or something of that sort.
    I agree with that perspective, but I still don't like the way the original statement is phrased. It doesn't sound like welcoming all guests to God's house, but more like a commercial customer service policy that is written to give the business an excuse to eject people from the premises.
    Who wants to watch rich people eat pizza? They must have loved that in Bangladesh. - Randy Newman on the 2014 Oscars broadcast

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    Many "Mega-Churches" have adopted the trappings of "commercial establishments" to attract members.

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    Such a sad story. I continue to be dismayed at people treating the handicapped as a nuisance to be silenced, rather than someone that needs help and understanding.

    He's not a 'distraction', he's a 12 year old boy with cerebral palsy.

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    Quote Originally Posted by PDilemma View Post
    Not in mega churches. In my previous evangelical life experience, children were expected to always be sent to children's activities or a nursery during services. And obviously, nothing was available for the disabled child.
    Many evangelical churches, mega- and otherwise, do have crying rooms now. My parents' church does. And both my church and my parents' church have special-needs ministries. I've never been to Elevation and don't know anything about them, so I don't know what they have available, but a lot of churches are stepping up to the plate in this area.
    Charter member of the "We Always Believed in Ashley" Club and the "We Believe in Ricky" Club

  13. #13
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    Isn't removing a child from church the exact opposite of abuse? (I still feel pain from those wooden benches...)

    It's official. I am madly in love with Meryl Davis.

  14. #14

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    Quote Originally Posted by dbell1 View Post
    Such a sad story. I continue to be dismayed at people treating the handicapped as a nuisance to be silenced, rather than someone that needs help and understanding.

    He's not a 'distraction', he's a 12 year old boy with cerebral palsy.
    Well, I am one who thinks it's not fair to everyone else who is sitting there wanting to be part of the service. If a rowdy person-handicapped or not- interrupts my theater experience, I would ask to have them removed.

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    It seems to me a church experience and a theatre experience are very different things.

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    Quote Originally Posted by PDilemma View Post
    Not in mega churches. In my previous evangelical life experience, children were expected to always be sent to children's activities or a nursery during services. And obviously, nothing was available for the disabled child.

    Not all mega churches are like that. Mine has an area in front of the sanctuary where a crying baby could definitely be taken. There are TVs there, so the parent would be able to watch the services from there. We do have nursery and children's ministry as well.

    I think it's horrible that this church removed this child from the services. I know at my church we have several special needs children and adults. There are chairs marked off for them, because it would be easier to move a wheelchair in those areas. We also have Sunday school classes for special needs adults and children.

  17. #17
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    I consider this good for the kid. Save yourself while you can!

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    I really hate when parents of infants and small children continue to sit there while their kids scream their heads off during the sermon. HOWEVER, we are talking about a 12-year old special needs child who really wasn't making that much noise. And even if this church has a crying room, should this young man be banished to the crying room indefinitely? Shame on this church for not stepping to the plate to help a 12-year-old boy get the experience that its other parishioners get!
    Quote Originally Posted by ilovepaydays View Post
    3) So the mother offered to start a ministry at the church for the disabled and the church's answer was no and "The church focuses on worship, not ministry." Well, there is your main problem right there.
    Heh.... Betcha a lot of their focus goes on those little plates that get passed around the sanctuary! Sorry, not a fan of many of these megachurches.....
    "Marge, if you're going to get mad at me every time I do something stupid, then I guess I'm just going to have to stop doing stupid things!" - Homer Simpson in the Mr. Plow episode

  19. #19

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    Quote Originally Posted by Skittl1321 View Post
    It seems to me a church experience and a theatre experience are very different things.
    Not with some mega-churches. Some of their services are very much like attending a performance of some sort. It's really not my cup of tea, but somehow it attracts thousands of people.

    Feeling sorry for this kid and his family and grateful to be in a very kid-friendly church that's sensible about kid noise--not too much, not too little. Parents usually "get it" when their kids are being too rowdy. From my experience with a CP kid very much like the one in the video, I think I'd be able to live with that distraction. Sometimes it's not about hearing every single word up there in the pulpit--sometimes it's about being a loving presence to those around you or being there for something new. It sounds to me like this might be a church that's for Sunday worship only (ie, no other ministries)??

  20. #20

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    From my experience with a CP kid very much like the one in the video, I think I'd be able to live with that distraction.
    Sometimes it's not about hearing every single word up there in the pulpit--sometimes it's about being a loving presence to those around you or being there for something new.
    Thank you!
    It's very important that the child and his parents feel "included"/accepted in their church,
    Not being able to "participate" in corporate worship with the congregation sends the opposite message.

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