"Sissy boy" therapy

[Gazpacho]

Tears are streaming down my face after reading this.

Tears of sorrow for Kirk and his grieving siblings, of course, but mostly tears of anger. Anger at the hateful hypocrite George Reker and those who supported him and the many who still support his belief. Anger at his abusive parents who now blame it all on the therapy. And perhaps above all, anger that some people are so incapable of feeling guilt or culpability that they'll never get a taste of the mental anguish they've put others through.

Sadly, there are Kirk Murphy's created every day. A gay classmate whose parents tried to "correct" him also committed suicide.

A recent FSU thread revealed disdain for parents who are trying to raise a "genderless" child, but whatever potential damage they do surely can't match what Kirk Murphy experienced.

[barbk]

That makes me ill.

[BigB08822]

So sad. Thank you for that article, though. I am in a Sexuality course this summer and we have to find an article to write a short paper on. This will be what I use.

[Rex]

"Dr." Reker needs to be punched in his f****g mouth. What an awful thing to do to someone.

[MR-FAN]

[overedge]

Bad enough that Reker was promoting this twisted "therapy", but even worse that he was a hypocrite on top of this. I didn't realize until I read to the end of the story that he was the anti-gay crusader who claimed that his rentboy was only hired to carry his vacation luggage.

It also sickens me that no one at the university or the funding agency apparently thought anything was wrong with Reker's "study", or had any concerns about the damage it might cause.

[skateboy]

"Dr." Reker needs to be punched in his f****g mouth. What an awful thing to do to someone.

Agreed. As does Kirk's mother who considers herself blameless in this whole incident. Really, really disturbing.

[IceAlisa]

OK, I don't think I want to open that link.

[Ozzisk8tr]

Dreadful. How very sad that things like this can happen. Makes me wonder how these people can sleep at night. I think the parents deserve every bit of unhappiness they get. I do however feel very sorry for the siblings.

[PeterG]

Boys being feminine = female is bad.

Our world needs to get over it's hatred of females.

A recent FSU thread revealed disdain for parents who are trying to raise a "genderless" child, but whatever potential damage they do surely can't match what Kirk Murphy experienced.

What makes you think they are damaging their children? They are doing the opposite of George A. Rekers (I refuse to call him "Dr." Rekers). These parents are loving their children for who they are, regardless of gender. Complete acceptance.

I see very little of that kind of acceptance in the Murphy family...

[Japanfan]

A recent FSU thread revealed disdain for parents who are trying to raise a "genderless" child, but whatever potential damage they do surely can't match what Kirk Murphy experienced.

Trying to raise a "genderless" child simply means that you don't impose beliefs, values and myths about gender on your child. It's not damaging, it's liberating, because it gives children the freedom to be who they really are and a better chance to become well-rounded people. Girls can play with trucks if they like and boys can play with dolls. You can play ball with your daughters and your sons, and make cookies with your daughters and your sons. Good skills are learned in the process for both.

Society genders children enough of its own and does a fair bit of damage in the process. Parents can helps their kids to deal with that or make it even harder.

I'm also bothered by the notion that a boy who likes to play with dolls is going to grow up gay. And by the idea that effeminate = gay. There are plenty of heterosexual men with qualities deemed effeminate and plenty of gay men with qualities deemed macho. Those labels in themselves are damaging.

[antmanb]

I cannot express how angry that article makes me. Disgusted with the mother who is trying to shift the blame. If she feels that sicko "Dr" had any hand in her son's suicide, she should acknowledge equal or more blame.

[Gazpacho]

What makes you think they are damaging their children? They are doing the opposite of George A. Rekers (I refuse to call him "Dr." Rekers). These parents are loving their children for who they are, regardless of gender. Complete acceptance.

I see very little of that kind of acceptance in the Murphy family...

My comment about them damaging their children reflected not my personal opinion but rather some of the comments on the other FSU thread.

The mother's comments in the Murphy case pissed me off like you wouldn't believe.

"Today it would be considered abuse." (talking about the beatings--she calls them spankings --that left him with welts all over his body)

Ma'am, back then it was considered abuse too.

"I blame them for the way his life turned out," she said. "If one person causes another person's death, I don't care if it's 20 or 50 years later, it's the same as murder in my eyes."

I blame YOU just as much. They had him for 10 months. You carried out your abuse and hatred for decades. You call George Reker a murderer, wanna see another murderer? Look in the mirror.

Perhaps that's what angers me the most--the fact that these people are incapable of guilt and culpability.

[Rex]

Boys being feminine = female is bad.

Our world needs to get over it's hatred of females.

And look how "cute" and "sexy" some men (and some women) think it is to wear men's clothes. And how many women in the business world and in politics are told pretty much to "take it like a man". If the situation were reversed, the guy is targeted for ridicule, unless he is doing it for fun or entertainment.

[beepbeep]

Wow, I just... can't
Words fail me on how horrible this is...

[Satellitegirl]

I'm glad that there are more and more people speaking up and telling kids to be themselves, and it gets better as you get older(like in the youtube campaign going on). I hope more of these stories will be prevented .

[aliceanne]

Behaviorist therapy was a big deal in the 70's (B.F. Skinner, Pavlov's dogs, Brave New World). You were supposed to cure the perceived dysfunctional behavior through a system of rewards and punishments. The focus was on changing the behavior, not trying to analyze what caused it.

This seems extreme even for the 70's though. Brothers and sisters frequently play with each others toys when they are young. It's a time to use your imagination and experiment. My parents were pretty traditional and they didn't stress over it.

[PDilemma]

Trying to raise a "genderless" child simply means that you don't impose beliefs, values and myths about gender on your child. It's not damaging, it's liberating, because it gives children the freedom to be who they really are and a better chance to become well-rounded people. Girls can play with trucks if they like and boys can play with dolls. You can play ball with your daughters and your sons, and make cookies with your daughters and your sons. Good skills are learned in the process for both.

You don't have to hide a child's biological sex from the world to do that. I spent every summer playing ball with my dad, while my brother preferred not to. I spent hours sorting baseball cards and going to card shows with my dad--something else my brother was not interested in. My brother and I both spent enough time in the kitchen with mom to learn to cook and are both great cooks. My brother's great disappointment when his baby sister got old enough to play was the discovery that I would indeed play with his toys--including trucks and G.I. Joe. My nephew is 16 now and one of his favorite things is to bake cookies with me in the summer because he's been doing it since he was four and a half.

Yet everyone always knew I was a girl and my brother and nephew were boys. It's the whole hiding of the child's biological sex that is potentially damaging. Children can be raised in a perfectly healthy and natural way to do anything they want regardless of gender stereotypes without the publicity stunt that family is pulling.

[danceronice]

Trying to raise a "genderless" child simply means that you don't impose beliefs, values and myths about gender on your child. It's not damaging, it's liberating, because it gives children the freedom to be who they really are and a better chance to become well-rounded people. Girls can play with trucks if they like and boys can play with dolls. You can play ball with your daughters and your sons, and make cookies with your daughters and your sons. Good skills are learned in the process for both.
.

They're refusing to tell people the child's SEX. Sex is a biological fact, no matter what the brain believes or even what body parts you chop off or sew on or what clothes you wear. Let the kids play with whatever toys they want (I'm a heterosexual female and I played with toy guns and action figures) but don't avoid telling them or anyone else if they're male or female. That is going leave them screwed up and hopelessly confused.

[PDilemma]

They're refusing to tell people the child's SEX. Sex is a biological fact, no matter what the brain believes or even what body parts you chop off or sew on or what clothes you wear. Let the kids play with whatever toys they want (I'm a heterosexual female and I played with toy guns and action figures) but don't avoid telling them or anyone else if they're male or female. That is going leave them screwed up and hopelessly confused.

If that child is female, what message is she being sent by being told that her femaleness is something that must be hidden? Particularly as her brothers' sex was not hidden.