When an invitation says 'No Gifts' do you still bring one?

**sequins** · 06-07-2011, 04:24 AM

I need some help here. I am invited to a 60th anniversary and I was invited over the phone and I was told not to bring a gift, just bring something to eat. It's in the afternoon and it's like a potluck get together, I guess. Anyway I"m wondering when they say 'No Gifts" I know people still bring them and I feel kinda awkward if I don't but really what could they possibly want or need. A card was already sent as their anniversary was a month ago. So what do you do?

**numbers123** · 06-07-2011, 04:30 AM

I would honor the no gifts. My parents had asked the same thing for their wedding anniversary and were a little annoyed by those who brought gifts.

**Holley Calmes** · 06-07-2011, 04:32 AM

Don't bring a gift! They have asked you not to. I'm sure anyone married 60 years has enough "stuff."

If you feel wrong not doing anything-and I understand that-bring flowers or a card. Donate in the name of their favorite charity. Believe me-at this age, people are just happy to see you. The best gift you can give is your presence. Why do we think that our company is not enough? In fact, I think the "no gifts" request is simply saying-"you're all we need!"

**gingercrush** · 06-07-2011, 04:33 AM

Don't send a gift. They're said no gifts so you don't gift.

**sequins** · 06-07-2011, 04:39 AM

Ok Thanks. No gift. I think the same I just wish everyone would honour it. But then that's just me feeling uncomfortable even though I know it's not about me.

**sk8er1964** · 06-07-2011, 04:39 AM

No gift. Your presence is enough.

**pat c** · 06-07-2011, 04:39 AM

Your gift is your presence. Take yourself, some food and have a good time.

**genevieve** · 06-07-2011, 05:17 AM

agree with the no gifts - I think if you really feel uncomfortable not giving a gift you could make a donation in their honor to a charity they either support or that you think would be a good fit for them.

**Anita18** · 06-07-2011, 05:27 AM

Originally Posted by genevieve

agree with the no gifts - I think if you really feel uncomfortable not giving a gift you could make a donation in their honor to a charity they either support or that you think would be a good fit for them.

Yes, in that case it'd be a gift without the actual stuff that people can find annoying to deal with.

**jlai** · 06-07-2011, 05:36 AM

I've told people "no gifts" for years and I still get Xmas and birthday presents. Oh well.

I do get 1 or 2 persons to donate in my name every Xmas and birthday but I really want the donation in lieu of gifts...

But yeah, no gifts means no gifts.

**manhn** · 06-07-2011, 05:37 AM

No gift! When I bought my place, I told people not to give me any housewarming gifts because I didn't want "stuff" in my place (and don't get me started on plants--I hate plants!).

If you really, really, really want to give a gift, a charitable donation is great or a gift certificate to a restaurant. Something easily disposable.

**JasperBoy** · 06-07-2011, 05:57 AM

By all means honour the No Gift request. However, if you have a good photo of the couple, especially with you, put it in an inexpensive frame and give it to them. That is meaningful and personal but not really a gift.

**manhn** · 06-07-2011, 06:07 AM

Originally Posted by JasperBoy

By all means honour the No Gift request. However, if you have a good photo of the couple, especially with you, put it in an inexpensive frame and give it to them. That is meaningful and personal but not really a gift.

Then they have to put the frame in their house. STUFF!

**Aussie Willy** · 06-07-2011, 09:33 AM

Just take the food as they have asked but no gift.

**Aceon6** · 06-07-2011, 12:52 PM

This is a pet peeve of mine. When hosts say "no gifts" they really mean it. If something can't be used AT the event, don't bring it.

**gkelly** · 06-07-2011, 01:06 PM

If they are wine drinkers, you could bring a nice (but not extravagant) bottle of wine along with whatever food dish you bring. Then they can open it and serve it to the group as part of the potluck, or they could consider it a gift and put it aside.

**CynicElle** · 06-07-2011, 01:22 PM

Totally with the "no gifts" crowd. Yes, some people might ignore that, but when I ask for no gifts, I'm always happier with the people who honor my request.

**Jenny** · 06-07-2011, 02:15 PM

I'm not sure I'm with the donation idea - other guests might feel upstaged, and the couple might be uncomfortable because they don't know how to thank you.

I say bring the food, and if you want to do something extra, as Aceon6 said, it should be something for the event - an extra bottle of wine, or some flowers for the couple that can be put on a table, or even a bunch of balloons if they are fun.

The other thing you could do - although I'd say this would mostly be for family or close neighbours - would be to help out with set up, serving, clean up etc.

**mag** · 06-07-2011, 05:54 PM

I agree, no gifts should mean no gifts. It drives me nuts when people take gifts anyway. That said, it is always good manners to show up with a nice bottle of wine and some flowers when you are invited to dinner, so I would do that along with whatever potluck item you are taking. (Sending the flowers in advance is even nicer. Then they don't need to search for a vase while greeting guests!)

If you like taking photos, you could ask in advance if the couple would like you to snap photos of all the guests for them. It is always difficult to take pictures at your own party so they may appreciate the offer.

Have fun!

**Kasey** · 06-07-2011, 06:25 PM

By all means, no gifts means no gifts. Flowers, wine, food (especially since it is a potluck) and good company are all welcome additions I'm sure.

Thread: When an invitation says 'No Gifts' do you still bring one?

Thread Tools

When an invitation says 'No Gifts' do you still bring one?

Posting Permissions