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  1. #41
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    Quote Originally Posted by allezfred View Post
    Google "sex beads" if you're really interested.
    Oh, my!

  2. #42
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    I too got all hot and bothered by the thread title.

    K, leaving now

  3. #43
    drinky typo pbp, closet hugger
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jenny View Post
    Perhaps the most telling thing in the article is that she says they have seen many therapists over the years....
    That was my thought too.
    Q: Why can't I read the competition threads?
    A: Competition forums on the board are available to those with a Season Pass or a premium membership How to View Kiss & Cry

  4. #44
    engaged to dupa
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    Quote Originally Posted by siouxdonym View Post
    I too got all hot and bothered by the thread title.

    K, leaving now
    Enjoy.
    3539 and counting.

    Slightly Wounding Banana list cont: MacMadame.

  5. #45
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    Quote Originally Posted by Twilight1 View Post
    Quoted for truth. I am in my 30's and was actually shocked to know the number of people who really do go outside of their marriage for sex, while staying married and not having sex with their spouse for years.

    My husband's uncle told me once never underestimate debt keeping families together. I laughed at the time, but I really do agree with him now that I am older.
    Well, this guy isn't married to her, but he does live with her. She bought a house over 6 years ago, and he moved in with her a few months later. He used to live not far from me, but he wanted to move back to his hometown because his mother (who's pushing 90) started having heart problems and he wanted to be closer to her than 2 counties away.

    From what I know about this relationship, the main reason he is with her is because she is providing the roof over their head, so any financial problems related to the house will fall on her shoulders, not on his. I remember he and I having a little discussion about male gold diggers some years ago, and I really think that's what he is up to here. He told me once that she has "issues with intimacy" (although he won't say what they are), and he recently admitted to me that there still isn't any physicality there.

  6. #46
    Bountifully Enmeshed
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    Hmm, well, I know two married couples who have sexless marriages. In one case, it's the wife who doesn't want sex and in the other, it's the husband. To the best of my knowledge, finances, positive or negative, don't have a lot to do with why the relationships go on. There are a lot of things that hold relationships together, and some of those things are there.

    But it all seems very lonely and cold to me--not so much because of lack of sex, per se, but because of what that lack means to the person who isn't getting any but wants it.
    "The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources."-- Albert Einstein.

  7. #47
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    http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/327359...relationships/

    It's absolutely none of my business but I wonder what was going on with Jennifer's ex-husband. My first guess was that he is a closeted gay man but then the article mentioned that they had sex three times of week while they were engaged.

  8. #48

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    Quote Originally Posted by Prancer View Post
    Hmm, well, there's the reverse of this, too. What if you were with someone who never wanted sex, as at least one person quoted in the article said? Hands do in a pinch, but it isn't at all the same.

    But even if there's no perfect definition for a "sexless" marriage, everyone seems to agree that they're common. Newsweek estimates that about 15 to 20 percent of couples are in one

    http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/327359...relationships/
    A friend of mine is in the same situation and I think lots of people have been in similar relationships.

    My friend's husband is 12 years older than her(She's 45 and he's 57). My personal opinion is a whole another story. So many women marry older men for whatever reasons and don't think about what happens sexually when you're 50 and he's 62 or alot more older than you.

    Anyway, my friend is really in her sexual prime. She's in the best shape of her life, looks fabulous, libido is good and husband has erectile abd libido issues. He doesn't want to seek help, doesn't want to talk about it; just tells her that "sex isn't everything" and she should just get use to have a sexless marriage as they age. They havent had sex in 3 years.

    In my opinion his behavior is completely unacceptable for a 20 year marriage. I support her, listen to her and encourage her to do what's best for HER. Also,
    he's really telling her to divorce him or cheat on him.

    I think for women, we allow so many things to effect us sexually or sexual desire. If the lack of libido is due a mental issue or depression than it can be helped. However, I believe many women suffer from a lack of desire towards their partner which may not be helped even with therapy.
    "“My bronze feels like gold,” said the bronze medalist Carolina Kostner

  9. #49
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    When I first read the title I was like "Wow, they started at beads and bypassed plugs completely? What a trooper!"

  10. #50

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    I'm almost 48, had a complete hysterectomy 7 years ago am STILL waiting for the decreased sex drive that the doc said to expect. Never happened. It's like I'm perpetually 19 on the inside!

  11. #51

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    This idea smacks of being dreamed up in a committee meeting, and they drew beads to put the idea to a brief test to give it the barest modicum of authenticity. Sort of like Eat, Pray, Love.
    Not to give TMI, but for most women, if we're not in the mood, not only are you not in the mood, but it hurts. Sometimes A LOT. If sex becomes something you associate with pain, you sure as hell aren't going to want to do it more, and I can't see it helping the relationship.

    You go away from FSU for a week, and you sure do find some interesting threads lurking.
    "The practice of sport is a human right. Every individual must have the possibility of practicing sport, without discrimination of any kind and in the Olympic spirit, which requires mutual understanding with a spirit of friendship, solidarity and fair play." –Olympic Charter

  12. #52
    Internet Beyotch
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    So am I the only one who clicked on the link at work without a second thought? (When was the last time there was something NSFW in Time magazine, anyway?)

    But the actual article was offensive, which is worse.
    Actual bumper sticker series: Jesus is my co-pilot. Satan is my financial advisor. Budha is my therapist. L. Ron Hubbard owes me $50.

  13. #53
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    I know most men "slow down" as they get older but 54 seems to be rather young to have his libido completely shut down. I wonder if he has underlying health or emotional issues?

    Quote Originally Posted by topaz View Post
    A friend of mine is in the same situation and I think lots of people have been in similar relationships.

    My friend's husband is 12 years older than her(She's 45 and he's 57). My personal opinion is a whole another story. So many women marry older men for whatever reasons and don't think about what happens sexually when you're 50 and he's 62 or alot more older than you.

    Anyway, my friend is really in her sexual prime. She's in the best shape of her life, looks fabulous, libido is good and husband has erectile abd libido issues. He doesn't want to seek help, doesn't want to talk about it; just tells her that "sex isn't everything" and she should just get use to have a sexless marriage as they age. They havent had sex in 3 years.

    In my opinion his behavior is completely unacceptable for a 20 year marriage. I support her, listen to her and encourage her to do what's best for HER. Also, he's really telling her to divorce him or cheat on him.

    I think for women, we allow so many things to effect us sexually or sexual desire. If the lack of libido is due a mental issue or depression than it can be helped. However, I believe many women suffer from a lack of desire towards their partner which may not be helped even with therapy.

  14. #54
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    Quote Originally Posted by MacMadame View Post
    So am I the only one who clicked on the link at work without a second thought? (When was the last time there was something NSFW in Time magazine, anyway?)
    I didn't even open this thread- since I didn't know what would be discussed in it.

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