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  1. #1

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    Time article: He Wants Sex, She Doesn't. Are Beads the Answer?

    Time article: He Wants Sex, She Doesn't. Are Beads the Answer?

    Thoughts? Even though I know that women (or men) may not want to have sex exactly when their partner wants to, I had a problem with this article (and book) feeding into the stereotypes that men always want sex and women don't really want (or need) it.

    I also think that an arrangement like this wouldn't solve serious issues in a relationship and may just prolong the inevitable: that someone may not be good for you and you need to end the relationship.

    I also think that this is not a good idea if you partner has a background of rape/sexual abuse and intimacy may be more difficult for them as it is.
    Last edited by ilovepaydays; 04-25-2011 at 10:03 PM.

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    I had...different ideas as to what the beads would be used for, given the thread title.

    I think communication is paramount, of course. And some guys are just very picky. Honestly if you're really horny and your partner isn't in the mood, you can take care of yourself. That's what hands are for. It would disturb me if my partner would freely go at it knowing full well that I wasn't in the mood. Being coerced into sex would definitely bother me to the point where I'd think of ending the relationship.

  3. #3

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    Quote Originally Posted by Anita18 View Post
    I had...different ideas as to what the beads would be used for, given the thread title.
    eys, what a manipulative way to get your article read!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Anita18 View Post
    I had...different ideas as to what the beads would be used for, given the thread title.
    Thank goodness I wasn't the only one.
    To think that fun is simple fun, while earnest things are earnest, proves all too plain that neither one thou truthfully discernest.

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    Quote Originally Posted by allezfred View Post
    Thank goodness I wasn't the only one.
    Yeah, surely they could have said token, or something that didnt make this article nsfw sounding.

    I don't like the idea though... it is still essentially one partner demanding, even if they have to wait a bit.

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    Quote Originally Posted by allezfred View Post
    Thank goodness I wasn't the only one.
    Despite the mild assurances, I'm still wary of clicking that link here at work.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Anita18 View Post
    I had...different ideas as to what the beads would be used for, given the thread title.
    Quote Originally Posted by allezfred View Post
    Thank goodness I wasn't the only one.
    I am glad that I wasn't the only one

    Quote Originally Posted by Skittl1321 View Post
    I don't like the idea though... it is still essentially one partner demanding, even if they have to wait a bit.
    I think it is just a "cute" way to market "how I fixed my marriage by sex" book. any guy whose 40th birthday wish is to have sex 40 days in a row is pretty selfish and really not considering what makes a relationship good in the first place. He wants sex, he communicates with words and actions not damn beads.

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    Quote Originally Posted by numbers123 View Post
    I am glad that I wasn't the only one
    We're all filthy pigs.

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by Anita18 View Post
    I had...different ideas as to what the beads would be used for, given the thread title.

    I think communication is paramount, of course. And some guys are just very picky. Honestly if you're really horny and your partner isn't in the mood, you can take care of yourself. That's what hands are for. It would disturb me if my partner would freely go at it knowing full well that I wasn't in the mood. Being coerced into sex would definitely bother me to the point where I'd think of ending the relationship.
    Me too. My mind belongs to gutter.

    Friend of a friend dated a guy who would just scream out of blue his gonads are turning blue and expect to be presented an orifice. Hear the guy keeps getting dumped and has no clue why.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Anita18 View Post
    I think communication is paramount, of course. And some guys are just very picky. Honestly if you're really horny and your partner isn't in the mood, you can take care of yourself. That's what hands are for. It would disturb me if my partner would freely go at it knowing full well that I wasn't in the mood. Being coerced into sex would definitely bother me to the point where I'd think of ending the relationship.
    Hmm, well, there's the reverse of this, too. What if you were with someone who never wanted sex, as at least one person quoted in the article said? Hands do in a pinch, but it isn't at all the same.

    But even if there's no perfect definition for a "sexless" marriage, everyone seems to agree that they're common. Newsweek estimates that about 15 to 20 percent of couples are in one

    http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/327359...relationships/
    Trolling dates all the way back to 397 B.C. - People began following Plato around and would make fart noises after everything he said.

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    I don't totally understand the whole 40 beads thing. What happens when the 40 beads are used up? What's to stop the husband from dropping a bead in the bowl every night?
    "Marge, if you're going to get mad at me every time I do something stupid, then I guess I'm just going to have to stop doing stupid things!" - Homer Simpson in the Mr. Plow episode

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by allezfred View Post
    Thank goodness I wasn't the only one.
    No, you weren't.
    "Nature is a damp, inconvenient sort of place where birds and animals wander about uncooked."

    from Speedy Death

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    Quote Originally Posted by Anita18 View Post
    I had...different ideas as to what the beads would be used for, given the thread title.
    Apparently not . I thought the same thing as well .

    Quote Originally Posted by Spinner View Post
    We're all filthy pigs.
    Should that old adage "great minds think alike" apply here?
    Gun Control is like trying to reduce drunk driving by making it tougher for sober people to buy cars.

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    I didn't open this thread at work just in case. I'm glad I wasn't the only one who was mistaken

  15. #15
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    ^^ This.

  16. #16
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    Um, it looks like pretty much everyone who opened this thread thought the same thing.
    "Nature is a damp, inconvenient sort of place where birds and animals wander about uncooked."

    from Speedy Death

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    Quote Originally Posted by IceAlisa View Post
    Um, it looks like pretty much everyone who opened this thread thought the same thing.
    Of course. That's why we opened it. The actual article is rather nauseating.

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    I think a lot of people left the thread pretty disappointed.

  19. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by Prancer View Post
    Hmm, well, there's the reverse of this, too. What if you were with someone who never wanted sex, as at least one person quoted in the article said? Hands do in a pinch, but it isn't at all the same.

    But even if there's no perfect definition for a "sexless" marriage, everyone seems to agree that they're common. Newsweek estimates that about 15 to 20 percent of couples are in one

    http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/327359...relationships/
    Yeah being married to a truly asexual person would be a quandary, but I don't think demanding it is gonna fix the issue.

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    I thought it was an article that promoted crafts over sex.
    The fastest thing out of New Jersey since Tricky Nicky in a Muscovian handbasket

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