Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast
Results 1 to 20 of 54
  1. #1

    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Location
    Virginia
    Age
    33
    Posts
    3,037
    vCash
    1050
    Rep Power
    31

    Time article: He Wants Sex, She Doesn't. Are Beads the Answer?

    Time article: He Wants Sex, She Doesn't. Are Beads the Answer?

    Thoughts? Even though I know that women (or men) may not want to have sex exactly when their partner wants to, I had a problem with this article (and book) feeding into the stereotypes that men always want sex and women don't really want (or need) it.

    I also think that an arrangement like this wouldn't solve serious issues in a relationship and may just prolong the inevitable: that someone may not be good for you and you need to end the relationship.

    I also think that this is not a good idea if you partner has a background of rape/sexual abuse and intimacy may be more difficult for them as it is.
    Last edited by ilovepaydays; 04-25-2011 at 10:03 PM.

  2. #2
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Apr 2001
    Location
    Rejecting your reality and substituting my own
    Age
    30
    Posts
    11,004
    vCash
    500
    Rep Power
    0
    I had...different ideas as to what the beads would be used for, given the thread title.

    I think communication is paramount, of course. And some guys are just very picky. Honestly if you're really horny and your partner isn't in the mood, you can take care of yourself. That's what hands are for. It would disturb me if my partner would freely go at it knowing full well that I wasn't in the mood. Being coerced into sex would definitely bother me to the point where I'd think of ending the relationship.

  3. #3

    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Posts
    9,925
    vCash
    13051
    Rep Power
    45561
    Quote Originally Posted by Anita18 View Post
    I had...different ideas as to what the beads would be used for, given the thread title.
    eys, what a manipulative way to get your article read!

  4. #4
    Prick Admin
    Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Location
    Having a kiki
    Posts
    42,367
    vCash
    506
    Rep Power
    25076
    Quote Originally Posted by Anita18 View Post
    I had...different ideas as to what the beads would be used for, given the thread title.
    Thank goodness I wasn't the only one.
    To think that fun is simple fun, while earnest things are earnest, proves all too plain that neither one thou truthfully discernest.

  5. #5
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Iowa
    Posts
    11,012
    vCash
    500
    Rep Power
    0
    Quote Originally Posted by allezfred View Post
    Thank goodness I wasn't the only one.
    Yeah, surely they could have said token, or something that didnt make this article nsfw sounding.

    I don't like the idea though... it is still essentially one partner demanding, even if they have to wait a bit.

  6. #6
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Nov 2002
    Location
    California
    Posts
    11,774
    vCash
    500
    Rep Power
    0
    Quote Originally Posted by allezfred View Post
    Thank goodness I wasn't the only one.
    Despite the mild assurances, I'm still wary of clicking that link here at work.

  7. #7
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    Looking for cupcakes
    Posts
    30,765
    vCash
    5550
    Rep Power
    0
    Quote Originally Posted by Anita18 View Post
    I had...different ideas as to what the beads would be used for, given the thread title.
    Quote Originally Posted by allezfred View Post
    Thank goodness I wasn't the only one.
    I am glad that I wasn't the only one

    Quote Originally Posted by Skittl1321 View Post
    I don't like the idea though... it is still essentially one partner demanding, even if they have to wait a bit.
    I think it is just a "cute" way to market "how I fixed my marriage by sex" book. any guy whose 40th birthday wish is to have sex 40 days in a row is pretty selfish and really not considering what makes a relationship good in the first place. He wants sex, he communicates with words and actions not damn beads.

  8. #8
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Dec 2001
    Location
    Chicago
    Age
    42
    Posts
    3,725
    vCash
    500
    Rep Power
    0
    Quote Originally Posted by numbers123 View Post
    I am glad that I wasn't the only one
    We're all filthy pigs.

  9. #9
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Location
    Jersey of course!
    Posts
    997
    vCash
    500
    Rep Power
    4
    Quote Originally Posted by Anita18 View Post
    I had...different ideas as to what the beads would be used for, given the thread title.

    I think communication is paramount, of course. And some guys are just very picky. Honestly if you're really horny and your partner isn't in the mood, you can take care of yourself. That's what hands are for. It would disturb me if my partner would freely go at it knowing full well that I wasn't in the mood. Being coerced into sex would definitely bother me to the point where I'd think of ending the relationship.
    Me too. My mind belongs to gutter.

    Friend of a friend dated a guy who would just scream out of blue his gonads are turning blue and expect to be presented an orifice. Hear the guy keeps getting dumped and has no clue why.

  10. #10
    Bountifully Enmeshed
    Join Date
    Apr 2001
    Location
    At the Christmas Bizarre
    Posts
    38,154
    vCash
    250
    Rep Power
    46687
    Quote Originally Posted by Anita18 View Post
    I think communication is paramount, of course. And some guys are just very picky. Honestly if you're really horny and your partner isn't in the mood, you can take care of yourself. That's what hands are for. It would disturb me if my partner would freely go at it knowing full well that I wasn't in the mood. Being coerced into sex would definitely bother me to the point where I'd think of ending the relationship.
    Hmm, well, there's the reverse of this, too. What if you were with someone who never wanted sex, as at least one person quoted in the article said? Hands do in a pinch, but it isn't at all the same.

    But even if there's no perfect definition for a "sexless" marriage, everyone seems to agree that they're common. Newsweek estimates that about 15 to 20 percent of couples are in one

    http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/327359...relationships/
    "The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources."-- Albert Einstein.

  11. #11

    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Location
    NY/NJ
    Posts
    4,924
    vCash
    500
    Rep Power
    32055
    I don't totally understand the whole 40 beads thing. What happens when the 40 beads are used up? What's to stop the husband from dropping a bead in the bowl every night?
    "Marge, if you're going to get mad at me every time I do something stupid, then I guess I'm just going to have to stop doing stupid things!" - Homer Simpson in the Mr. Plow episode

  12. #12
    Port de bras!!!
    Join Date
    Mar 2002
    Location
    Ravenclaw
    Posts
    30,111
    vCash
    500
    Rep Power
    33169
    Quote Originally Posted by allezfred View Post
    Thank goodness I wasn't the only one.
    No, you weren't.
    "Nature is a damp, inconvenient sort of place where birds and animals wander about uncooked."

    from Speedy Death

  13. #13
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Dec 2002
    Location
    Celebrating Jeremy Abbott's FS at 2014 Worlds...
    Posts
    21,222
    vCash
    500
    Rep Power
    0
    Quote Originally Posted by Anita18 View Post
    I had...different ideas as to what the beads would be used for, given the thread title.
    Apparently not . I thought the same thing as well .

    Quote Originally Posted by Spinner View Post
    We're all filthy pigs.
    Should that old adage "great minds think alike" apply here?

  14. #14
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Apr 2003
    Age
    28
    Posts
    2,827
    vCash
    500
    Rep Power
    1192
    I didn't open this thread at work just in case. I'm glad I wasn't the only one who was mistaken

  15. #15
    Registered User
    Join Date
    May 2002
    Location
    Plotting
    Age
    49
    Posts
    10,332
    vCash
    510
    Rep Power
    0
    ^^ This.

  16. #16
    Port de bras!!!
    Join Date
    Mar 2002
    Location
    Ravenclaw
    Posts
    30,111
    vCash
    500
    Rep Power
    33169
    Um, it looks like pretty much everyone who opened this thread thought the same thing.
    "Nature is a damp, inconvenient sort of place where birds and animals wander about uncooked."

    from Speedy Death

  17. #17

    Join Date
    Dec 2002
    Location
    Alone. With my eyes open.
    Posts
    3,877
    vCash
    500
    Rep Power
    399
    Quote Originally Posted by IceAlisa View Post
    Um, it looks like pretty much everyone who opened this thread thought the same thing.
    Of course. That's why we opened it. The actual article is rather nauseating.

  18. #18

    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Posts
    9,925
    vCash
    13051
    Rep Power
    45561
    I think a lot of people left the thread pretty disappointed.

  19. #19
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Apr 2001
    Location
    Rejecting your reality and substituting my own
    Age
    30
    Posts
    11,004
    vCash
    500
    Rep Power
    0
    Quote Originally Posted by Prancer View Post
    Hmm, well, there's the reverse of this, too. What if you were with someone who never wanted sex, as at least one person quoted in the article said? Hands do in a pinch, but it isn't at all the same.

    But even if there's no perfect definition for a "sexless" marriage, everyone seems to agree that they're common. Newsweek estimates that about 15 to 20 percent of couples are in one

    http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/327359...relationships/
    Yeah being married to a truly asexual person would be a quandary, but I don't think demanding it is gonna fix the issue.

  20. #20
    Saint Smugpawski
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Cutting Down Privet Because Food Prices Are Going Up Next Year
    Posts
    11,717
    vCash
    500
    Rep Power
    33860
    I thought it was an article that promoted crafts over sex.
    The fastest thing out of New Jersey since Tricky Nicky in a Muscovian handbasket

Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •