Barefoot Contessa Refuses to Meet with Make-a-Wish Child

[bek]

Why? She only mentioned facts and her child's disappointment. She didn't make any accusations. Why should she care about Ina Garten's PR, exactly?

How does this help Make a Wish that probably wants confidentiality. i.e they may have situations like this all the time where celebrities are willing to work with them, if their schedules allow it. And may not be so willing to work with them, if every time they say no, its going to be splashed over the internet.

She was being selfish. I can't believe I'm defending celebrities but they probably get tons of charity requests and if they said yes to everyone, probably wouldn't have time for anything else. So they have probably learned to accept what they can feasibly do, and say no to the rest. No one deserves to be publically slammed for not being able to do every good thing they are given an opportunity to do.

[Rex]

Pediatric oncology is heartbreaking. Kudos to people who can do this job.

Yeah it is. My cousin Rafael died from a fast-acting brain tumor back in the 70s. He was dead within a year of his diagnosis. In the end, no matter who is right or wrong, a kid will be dying soon. That is so sad.

[IceAlisa]

Yeah it is. My cousin Rafael died from a fast-acting brain tumor back in the 70s. He was dead within a year of his diagnosis. In the end, no matter who is right or wrong, a kid will be dying soon. That is so sad.

I am so sorry. I cannot imagine what his parents went through. ((((Rex and family)))))

Pediatric cancer can be a cruel roller coaster too, giving false hope and then extinguishing it. And all the while the child suffers through excruciating and ultimately useless treatment.

How does this help Make a Wish that probably wants confidentiality. i.e they may have situations like this all the time where celebrities are willing to work with them, if their schedules allow it.[B] And may not be so willing to work with them, if every time they say no, its going to be splashed over the internet.

She was being selfish.

These are two unconnected statements. Are you saying the mother knew that this would end up a scandal and intentionally wrote about it for attention and to smear Ina Garten? Then why is she asking to move on?

[bek]

I am so sorry. I cannot imagine what his parents went through. ((((Rex and family)))))

Pediatric cancer can be a cruel roller coaster too, giving false hope and then extinguishing it. And all the while the child suffers through excruciating and ultimately useless treatment.




These are two unconnected statements. Are you saying the mother knew that this would end up a scandal and intentionally wrote about it for attention and to smear Ina Garten? Then why is she asking to move on?

How could the mother NOT know that publically stating on the internet that Ina turned her child down twice, might lead to some backlash for Ina. And if she's saying stop now, it may be because she herself has gotten some criticism, and perhaps has also gotten criticism from the Make a Wish Organization herself.

Its not like the mom went and blabbed to her friends, she blabbed to the world.

[IceAlisa]

How could the mother NOT know that publically stating on the internet that Ina turned her child down twice, might lead to some backlash for Ina.

Because likely at the time few people were reading her blog. This looks very much like an unintended consequence. You have absolutely no leg to stand on if you claim she did it knowing/intending it to become a public affair.
And asking for PR foresight from a mother in this situation is frankly, ridiculous. Do you always write about skaters here on FSU with foresight that anyone has access to the forum, save for SS and then anyone who pays has access to that section too?
Do you expect and demand such foresight from all 24,000 members of FSU?

And if she's saying stop now, it may be because she herself has gotten some criticism, and perhaps has also gotten criticism from the Make a Wish Organization herself.

And you know this how? Why do you assume the worst about her but are willing to cut Ina Garten lots of slack?

Its not like the mom went and blabbed to her friends, she blabbed to the world.

She didn't blab--it wasn't a secret. She posted about something that upset her and her terminally ill child. It's called venting.

[BigB08822]

So we can't assume that the mother intended for things to become so public yet we CAN assume that Ina turned down the child out of pure evilness and laziness or whatever reason you want to vilify her for? I don't see how that makes sense. Ideally, we should be doing NEITHER.

[bek]

Well what about the fact that the story was sold to TMZ, and it included a picture of the little boy. Where exactly did TMZ get the picture of the little boy from. Which is why, I'm sort of willing to think the mom went on the public lynching. And reportedly the little boy isn't terminal.

I'd be willing to cut the mother slack, but just say she shouldn't have leaked it. But the TMZ article is ridiculous. Now the mother has reportedly donations on her blog.

[agalisgv]

Many, many people apply and not all can get their wishes granted.

Very true. There are a set amount of wishes that can be granted per month, and there are far more children needing wishes than resources to grant them. These foundations (there are more than one btw) do their best to make a child's wish come true, but there are constraints and limits. It really is a privilege to be granted anything at all.

I should also mention that these wish-making foundations don't just grant wishes--they also run year-round support systems for the children and their families. IMO, that's the best part. There are support groups for both the children and the parents, special outings throughout the year (at least monthly if not weekly), etc. It can really become another family.

How does this help Make a Wish that probably wants confidentiality. i.e they may have situations like this all the time where celebrities are willing to work with them, if their schedules allow it.[B] And may not be so willing to work with them, if every time they say no, its going to be splashed over the internet.[/B ]

This is so very true. MAW and others work via confidentiality. Celebrities in particular get so many requests, foundation organizers try to work quietly behind-the-scenes to make wishes come true. Having private communications between the foundation and a celebrity publicized can really chill future collaborations.

FWIW, foundations like MAW rarely speak directly to a celebrity. Everything is coordinated through the staff who grant requests as scheduling allows. From what was posted, Gartner apparently receives 100 requests every month, so her staff would be charged with sifting through requests to grant.

[IceAlisa]

Well what about the fact that the story was sold to TMZ, and it included a picture of the little boy. Where exactly did TMZ get the picture of the little boy from.

Does TMZ always get pictures with consent? There are articles from many other sources, not just TMZ. What does TMZ have to do with this?

Which is why, I'm sort of willing to think the mom went on the public lynching. And reportedly the little boy isn't terminal.

The survival rate has a very wide range, depending on the type of leukemia.

Having private communications between the foundation and a celebrity publicized can really chill future collaborations.

She didn't post any written/oral communications between the org and Ina's staff. She related her own story. Does MAW require to sign a confidentiality agreement that she violated?

FWIW, foundations like MAW rarely speak directly to a celebrity. Everything is coordinated through the staff who grant requests as scheduling allows. From what was posted, Gartner apparently receives 100 requests every month, so her staff would be charged with sifting through requests to grant.

Yes, that's very likely. What's also likely is that there aren't too many sick children under 10 who idolize Ina Garten. However, if Ina truly wasn't informed of this request and not given a choice to accept, wouldn't her PR people just say so?

[BigB08822]

I don't think TMZ could post a picture of an minor without consent, not without possible legal ramifications.

[agalisgv]

if Ina truly wasn't informed of this request and not given a choice to accept, wouldn't her PR people just say so?

I thought it was posted earlier they said just that. Doesn't seem that people are listening though. Once a story like that gets out, it takes a life of its own unfortunately.

[gladiatorqueen]

So where does she express the bias? Does she say something that isn't true because of it? Of course she is on her child's side but the facts are that they've asked twice, were refused, public outrage followed, Ina caved, they went with the dolphins. I don't see any embellishments on her side, in fact she is asking for calm and to move on.

Actually, like many, she used publicity to get her way. The need for graciousness comes to mind here. NO celebrity is obligated to do anything and this mother should have gracefuly accepted that fact and moved on instead of blogging about it publicly. My god people are stupid and selfish sometimes.

[IceAlisa]

I thought it was posted earlier they said just that. Doesn't seem that people are listening though. Once a story like that gets out, it takes a life of its own unfortunately.

I didn't see that. Could you please link? All I saw is that Ina gets lots of requests from fans and that she can't honor them all and she's worked with Make A Wish in the past. I didn't see anything saying that Ina had no idea about this particular request, that was made twice, btw.

[JJH]

The mother is living in Hell. It's difficult to focus on minor celebrities possible PR inconveniences while one is completely consumed by hospitals, doctors, testing, testing results, treatments, failed treatment, new treatments, new referrals to new doctors, and being responsible for helping the child have as "normal" as possible life in whatever time is left. Trauma differential? The mother is being tortured on the rack. The countess might have a conspicuous pimple on her nose. The mother is losing her child. The countess might possibly briefly be inconvenienced by negative reactions among the community of those who know who she is and care what she does.

[agalisgv]

I didn't see that. Could you please link?

Here was where it was posted in this thread:

I've also read reports that her managing/organizing people turned him down without her ever knowing it and that it wasn't until this all blew up in the media that she became aware

From what I understand, the first request came when Ina was on a 10-month book tour, and the family was informed she wasn't available at that time.

[IceAlisa]

Here was where it was posted in this thread: From what I understand, the first request came when Ina was on a 10-month book tour, and the family was informed she wasn't available at that time.

Yes, but I didn't see any statements from Ina herself.

However, it is reasonable, in fact, extremely likely that Ina wasn't informed. If that's the case, her staff walked into a blunder because they didn't recognize the uniqueness of this request. I am sure she gets lots and lots of requests but as I've said, I really don't think that there are a lot of children with cancer who want to meet Ina and do a show with her. And on top of that, I don't think that such children make this request twice.

So yes, I am absolutely willing to consider that Ina Garten didn't know. But it doesn't mean the mother is a selfish, scheming, vengeful b!tch.

[gladiatorqueen]

I didn't see that. Could you please link? All I saw is that Ina gets lots of requests from fans and that she can't honor them all and she's worked with Make A Wish in the past. I didn't see anything saying that Ina had no idea about this particular request, that was made twice, btw.

Well, actually, the TMZ piece mentions that there were scheduling conflicts in both years that the requests were made.

[agalisgv]

The mother is losing her child.

I believe the illness her child suffers from has a 80% cure rate. The mother has said repeatedly her child is not dying and is not terminal. Many people think MAW and other grant-making foundations only grant wishes to dying children, but that's not the case. In fact, if a child is too sick, they won't qualify for a wish. The point of the wish is to give the child encouragement so they can recover more quickly.

[Wyliefan]

I feel bad for the mother, but why does everyone keep saying the child is dying? According to her blog post that was linked in this thread, he's not dying. She specifically says, "What makes me REALLY sad is how the press has been writing and referring to Enzo as a 'DYING' child or a 'TERMINAL' child making his 'LAST DYING WISH.' Just typing it makes my blood go cold. Enzo is NOT dying or terminal, he IS very sick but he is VERY MUCH alive and the most ALIVE person I have EVER known! . . . Enzo is SO CLOSE to being done with his treatments and we want nothing more then for him to move forward in good health."

Of course, things can change, and as IceAlisa said, there's such a thing as false hope . . . but right now it sounds like "terminal" isn't the case (and thank God for that!).

[IceAlisa]

I believe the illness her child suffers from has a 80% cure rate.

It depends on the cytogenetic problem of the disease. The survival rate can vary from 20- to 80%.

The mother has said repeatedly her child is not dying and is not terminal. Many people think MAW and other grant-making foundations only grant wishes to dying children, but that's not the case. In fact, if a child is too sick, they won't qualify for a wish. The point of the wish is to give the child encouragement so they can recover more quickly.

I am so glad to hear the kid is not dying. However, I still don't see how that makes the mom entitled or selfish. I see nothing that indicates malice in her behavior.