Forgive me, are you a guy or girl? If you are girl and a guy says "Get out before I hit you!!", then I agree this 'threat' is totally unacceptable and you have the absolutely right to report him and get him kicked out of the dorm. However if you are a guy, and you are room mates and this is about cleaning the bathroom, it is just my humble opinion, may be you should have grew a thick skin and stand up for yourself instead of letting it upset you like this, and still after all these years. There are inconsiderate jerks everywhere, why let it get to you?
While I do agree harsh word is wrong and does cause pain, even when they don't mean it. But how else are you going to learn to develop a tolerance level, grow a thick skin, overcame bullies like your room mate, and brave this unfair and harsh world. Everyone experience different levels of extremism in different ways, and parents have a really tough job to prepare their kids for the real world. All human being make mistakes and learn from their mistakes (as Amy seems to have done), but I personally don't think it is fair to criticize anyone without looking at the overall result instead scrutinise the fine details. If you do that, you will miss the bigger picture.
There's no right or wrong way to raise a family, it is just whether your child can grow up to be healthy and happy human beings. Something that is really hard thing to do and all of us continues to strive for, but even if those who had the best child hood EVER with the most amazing supportive parents and loving family, can you honestly say when they grow up and face this harsh world, everything is going to be A-OKAY and they won't develop some sort of problems or neurosis along the way?
What is success. I agree it is a subjective question.
When I mean Amy has proven to be a success, I meant by her personal achievements according to the social conditions of which we all have to abide by regardless of our own personal feelings.
The fact she is a Yale Law Professor with successful and critically well received books in the past, kids who get straight As, a strong family, seems happily married and that I am even here defending her (even I don't agree with her methods) says to me she has achieved at least some level of success. The fact she is admitting her own failings during her book also tells me she is an evolving human beings who actually learn from her own mistakes, and want to better herself. That to me, is a successful human being and not a stereotype as the publisher may lead you to believe inorder to sell books.
Personally I am very iffy about all these new 'Chinese' themed books ever since Amy Tan's deserved successes . They are exploiting the stereotype of Chinese being a mysterious cruel harsh race with little emotions or light heartedness. It is just about selling books, but hopefully the smart reader can read between the lines.