This is a topic I wanted to discuss as a spin-off from the "Frank vs. Mirai" thread.
MR-FAN mentioned this article and writer:
I personally found the article fascinating, if a little appalling at the same time. There is an extremely strong case for instilling discipline, perseverance, and confidence in your child to teach them that they can work hard and achieve whatever they want. Now, I hate to be contrary to Ms. Chua, because I am almost certain that she is far more intelligent than I am. (My parents weren't particularly brilliant or educated, while Amy's father, according to Wikipedia, "is an Electrical Engineering and Computer Sciences professor at the University of California, Berkeley and is known as the father of nonlinear circuit theory, cellular neural networks, and discovered the memristor." ) The major points on which I agree with her are that things are most fun when you get good at them, and that children (well, young children) don't necessarily learn discipline on their own, so that it's up to the parent to take control at that stage. However, her LAST paragraph is what I feel is the best of the contrasting parenting philosophies she cites:
I can't see why combining both isn't possible? It would seem to me that the combination is ideal.Western parents try to respect their children's individuality, encouraging them to pursue their true passions, supporting their choices, and providing positive reinforcement and a nurturing environment. By contrast, the Chinese believe that the best way to protect their children is by preparing them for the future, letting them see what they're capable of, and arming them with skills, work habits and inner confidence that no one can ever take away.
Also, I do not understand the obsession with either just the violin or piano. Why just those two for choices?
Anyway, how would you categorize the successes or failures of the "Chinese Mothering" style of parents of figure skaters?
For example, Tiffany Chin would count, to me, as one of the worst examples of how Chinese Mothering fails. Something was a little "off" about Mira Leung, as well.
Would Yu-Na Kim count as an example of successful Chinese Mothering? (but then again, she was coached by Orser who taught her to take it easy, and Wilson may also be a moderating, confounding element.)
Danny Kwan and Kristi's parents seem like moderates to me. Both Michelle and Kristi seemed to have a lot of discipline, but clearly truly enjoyed themselves out on the ice.
Any insights into Asada's parents would be welcome. I imagine they weren't strict disciplinarians, but at the same time,they probably didn't need to discipline her much. She seems to be a naturally happy hard worker.
And outside of skating, anyone hear of any good examples of Chinese Mothering, or Moderate Mothering? I really think the middle way is the best way. Discipline is important, but so is some freedom, choice, exploration and passion.