Friend was assaulted/possibly raped - what to say/do?

[CantALoop]

Thanks everyone for your advice. My friend said that she would come in today but she didn't show up, so I left a message on her phone saying that I'll continue to handle things here and am there to lend help if she needs.

Since you do work with her, helping her explain the situaiton to the boss would be helpful. Additionally, you could help by being on rumor patrol.

I told our boss that a very personal emergency happened and it would be much better to let my friend tell her. My boss is really empathic to her employees and students, so she was more concerned than angry that X wasn't at work. She asked me if I knew what happened, and I said, "From the nature of the situation, I think the difficulty of this situation is at a personal level where it would be best explained by X herself"

You're right about being on rumor patrol. Some coworkers are already like at that she's missed two days of work. It's tough coming up with an excuse without causing further curiosity or nosiness. A mutual friend at work was really concerned, so I told her to give X a call in private just to check in.

My first thought is she will probably need therapy in the future - not saying you should suggest it to her - but I think she will have a lot of trouble dealing with this on her own. I only suggest therapy because this is a horrifying event and sometimes people develop PTSD from stuff like this.

She will and is obviously going through a lot of emotions. There will be moments when she remembers certain details because of a sound, word, sight, smell, etc.

X is a spunky, effervescent girl, which is why it was extremely troubling when she seemed subdued and vague as she described the situation yesterday. You're probably right - she's so headstrong that she probably wouldn't think to reach out for therapy. I did call around and mentioned in my message that if she ever thinks she needs assistance, campus does offer confidential counseling services she can use for free.

The PTSD and emotional scars that assault/rape victims is why I'm handling this very delicately, and asking for advice (I knew I could count on FSU for a great assortment of opinions ). It's quite a mental task to choose the right words to say/do in order to not trigger any memories of whatever happened.

It's so complicated because I want to help, yet I know I have to give her space, but I don't want her to think her friends are distant or uncaring as well.

[Vash01]

Cantaloop,

You are a wonderful friend. I am sure your friend really appreciates that.