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  1. #1

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    Are you a cuddly sleeper?

    Yes, this has been brought up on Friends and Everybody Loves Raymond, but here goes...

    I absolutely hate being cuddled when I'm trying to sleep. It just makes me stay awake. The other day I had to get up early for a really important work day. My boyfriend and I went to bed around 11:30 the night before. He fell asleep quickly, but it was taking me longer because he was snuggled up to me. I tried to break away and actually did.

    After about a half-hour I was just about to drift off to sleep, when he suddenly rolls over and puts his leg over mine. So I'm lying there for another hour, attemping to get free without waking him up. I manage to get onto my side and am just about to drift off to sleep, when he turns and puts both arms around me. Wide awake again. This went on until 3:30 in the morning (I had to be up at 6:30).

    Finally I got out of bed, took a blanket and curled up on the living room couch. Managed to fall asleep by about 4:00 a.m.

    Boyfriend wakes up @5:30, comes out and asks me why I'm sleeping on the couch (depriving me of even more sleep in the process). He acts apologetic and hurt and wants me to come back to bed, so I do. He falls asleep immediately and starts the cuddling again. I ended up with about two hours of sleep, with a 12-hour day ahead of me requiring a tremendous amount of mental (and a fair amount of physical) energy. I got through it, but it was VERY tough and not pleasant.

    We haven't fought over this or anything, in fact he felt really bad about it the next day. But this has to stop. I just need to get some SLEEP!

    Can anyone else identify?

  2. #2
    Mad for mangelwurzels
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    I can't sleep with anyone touching me. Some of my friends say the same, or that they can only doze in snatches while in contact with another body. The idea of 'falling asleep in each other's arms' is very romantic but I doubt it's very common.
    Be with me always—take any form—drive me mad! only do not leave me in this abyss, where I cannot find you! Oh, God! it is unutterable! I cannot live without my life! I cannot live without my soul!"

  3. #3
    Bountifully Enmeshed
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    Quote Originally Posted by skateboy View Post
    Can anyone else identify?
    Me.

    It's hard to say "Get off me" in a kindly, impersonal way.

    What I do is twitch a lot (not intentionally, just trying to get comfortable). It annoys my husband and he moves away.
    Trolling dates all the way back to 397 B.C. - People began following Plato around and would make fart noises after everything he said.

  4. #4
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    Skateboy, I feel your pain. Having said that, I'd like a nice husband to cuddle up to at night.

    Anyway, this thread reminds me of an episode of The Golden Girls where Dorothy and Sophia are forced to share a bed.

    Dorothy keeps tossing and turning all night, prompting her mother to say, "Would you knock it off. I'd get more sleep on Space Mountain."

  5. #5

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    I like to spoon in bed, but a good fork is way better. But seriously, I sleep back to back with my SO and we may touch butts for a second, but don't touch me once I've pulled away or you'll discover my wrath. My problem is my partner snores, so every morning without fail at 5:00 ish I kick him out and make him go to another room. Does he not realize I need my beauty sleep?
    I guess the hard thing for a lot of people to accept is why God would allow me to go running through their yards, yelling and spinning around.


  6. #6

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    I am not a cuddler. I can't stand anyone touching me, or in fact, sleeping in the same bed with me.

    You can see that this does not bode well for a long term relationship....

  7. #7

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    Quote Originally Posted by PrincessLeppard View Post
    I am not a cuddler. I can't stand anyone touching me, or in fact, sleeping in the same bed with me.

    You can see that this does not bode well for a long term relationship....
    Isn't that why they had all those single beds in the old movies?

    I'm the same - can't stand cuddling, but the cat doesn't bother me.
    OTOH snoring makes me a bit snarly - apparently I have a real temper over that.

  8. #8
    Mad for mangelwurzels
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    I love cuddling! Just not when it's time for sleep.
    Be with me always—take any form—drive me mad! only do not leave me in this abyss, where I cannot find you! Oh, God! it is unutterable! I cannot live without my life! I cannot live without my soul!"

  9. #9

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    I'm a cuddler in bed, thankfully Mr Antmanb is also a cuddler.

    Actually though i think we fall asleep cuddling and then move apart once we're asleep. I'm always too warm in bed so invariably end up with feet and arms out from under the duvet to regulate my heat.

    Ant

  10. #10

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    Maybe the problem is the idea that if people are together they have to be in the same bed every night. I'm finding more and more couples with strong relationships that have no problem saying that one of them will be sleeping in another room that night. No arguments, it's just for nights described above. There's nothing wrong with saying I need a night apart to get some solid sleep.

    BTW, I am not a cuddley at all . Even the part of sitting with someone's arm around me for too long makes me fidget.
    "Half the harm that is done in this world is due to people who want to feel important. They don't mean to do harm -- but the harm does not interest them. Or they do not see it, or they justify it because they are absorbed in the endless struggle to think well of themselves." – T.S. Eliot

  11. #11

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    My bed is a no cuddling zone (unless I initiate it, of course!)
    Nubka - Unpaid Slave Laborer...

  12. #12
    Skating Pairs with Drew
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    No! Can't stand it. Get out of my bed and go home...unless you are a cat. Cat cuddles are just fine.

  13. #13
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    I'm like that too...when I'm trying to sleep, I can't be "cuddled." Touching an arm or a leg doesn't bother me, but when it's someone smack up against you, yeah I enjoy that when I want to cuddle, but I'm physically unable to sleep that way. I always had to tell my ex to move back over to his side. It's cute at first, and then you just start getting irritated, even though you know that they're doing it in their sleep most times.

    Spooning isn't too bad, as long as they don't drape their leg over me. But even then, I'm hot natured most times at night, so I get too warm/sweaty/uncomfortable. I wish I *could* sleep that way....just can't. My Mom has the jump leg syndrome, and I must have inherited that some, because I need to be able to stretch out and move a little before I settle in and sleep.

  14. #14
    gold dust woman
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    I used to need space when sleeping, but I've grown accustomed to cuddling during the night. Not all night, but in the winter, I use my husband for extra warmth. In the summer, I'm more hands off, and so is he. I never thought I'd get used to sleeping with someone else in the bed, but I did.

  15. #15

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    A cute story: Shortly after my husband passed away (who was a great cuddler BTW), I was visiting my sister in another town and slept over. In the middle of the night I woke and there was a big body next to mine......In my sleepy haze, I shockingly thought "who the hell is in bed with me? Well, it turns out it was Toby, their very large 2 yr old golden retriever..........he was my bed partner for the rest of my stay there. almost as good a cuddler as was my hubby.

    My boyfriend of a couple of years now likes to cuddle too, but only for a little while, then it's time to role over and sleep. For several years there was no-one to cuddle with and I missed it.
    Addicted to FSU

  16. #16

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    I'm very much like a cat in that respect. I want to cuddle when I want to. When I'm done cuddling, go away. If you want to cuddle and I don't...goodluck to you! My hubby loves it.

  17. #17
    Alissa Fan Forever
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    I get too hot and uncomfortable with another persons body heat. But I did "spoon" regularly from 1984-1998 because it made someone else happy. Since then, I have a king size bed all to myself and I rather like it. But I'd give anything to have my spoon back(he died in 1998).

  18. #18

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    I like to cuddle at some points in the night, especially now that it's cold. Like Veronika mentioned, cuddling helps to keep me warm. My husband also puts his leg over me sometimes because it helps him to sleep. However, that begins to hurt after a while and I have to roll over so he moves his leg. I can't cuddle all night though. After a while, I have to roll over to my own side. I can't sleep on the same side all night thus I'll have to un-cuddle at some point.

    @mpal2: IA. Sometimes, you do need to sleep alone. Sometimes, my husband does and I remember the first few times he did it my feelings were hurt. But now, I don't take it personally. Also, I sometimes like to sleep alone. Now that my husband works first shift, we sleep together every night and I admit that sometimes I miss sleeping by myself but not enough to sleep on the couch.
    "If people are looking for guarantees, they should buy appliances at Sears and stay away from human relationships."~Prancer

  19. #19

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    I am the same way. I can not sleep with anyone touching me. However, I am mean about it. My BF says that if he tries to snuggle with me in my sleep, I give him a very swift kick. I don't usually even wake up despite being a very light sleeper.
    -Brian
    "Michelle would never be caught with sausage grease staining her Vera Wang." - rfisher

  20. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by orientalplane View Post
    I can't sleep with anyone touching me. Some of my friends say the same, or that they can only doze in snatches while in contact with another body. The idea of 'falling asleep in each other's arms' is very romantic but I doubt it's very common.
    I'm good with falling asleep in each other's arms. I usually don't stay there though. I think it more has to do with me being perpetually cold though to be honest.

    Quote Originally Posted by mpal2 View Post
    Maybe the problem is the idea that if people are together they have to be in the same bed every night. I'm finding more and more couples with strong relationships that have no problem saying that one of them will be sleeping in another room that night. No arguments, it's just for nights described above. There's nothing wrong with saying I need a night apart to get some solid sleep.
    .
    My parents rarely sleep in the same bed. They sleep way better apart. They've been married 36 years so I guess it works
    "Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try Again. Fail again. Fail better." -- Samuel Beckett

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