Random Wedding Questions: Need a guest perspective (threads merged)

[Murdoch]

Ok FSU crowd, I have more faith in this bunch than anyone else... so -

I am working on the program for the church for our wedding. Unfortunately, musically, I am not doing what most people do and so I can't figure out the wording/set up of how it should look.

Here is what is going to happen:

Song One:
Grandmother's escorted in
Groom's parents down the aisle
Groom and groomsmen enter

Song Two:
Bridesmaids enter
Bride enters with mother and grandfather (I don't want my own song!)

Any idea what this should look like on the program? I have no idea where the word processional should go or what music should be listed...

TIA!

[Murdoch]

Ok, there are a few things I am contemplating - but don't know whether or not to do them. So, random questions - think as a wedding guest!

1) I was contemplating doing programs for the reception, but I have a lot of faith in our MC, plus there are surprises along the way. Do you like to know how much of the program is left, don't know, don't care?

2) We are doing a buffet dinner - people say I need menus (I will withhold my response). Do you like to know what your choices are before you get up there (especially since you can then plan the lay of the land on your plate), or you like a surprise or you don't care?

3) There is a break between the church and the reception, which is apparently becoming more and more taboo... but we have planned something in between at the bar we met at - unfortunately kids cannot be involved, though this doesn't effect alot of our guests. FMIL thinks I should plan something for families too (again I will withhold my response). Thoughts?

4) The decor. How much does the decor of the hall REALLY matter? It looks pretty when you walk in, the tables are colorful, and I didn't do table runners, I used rose petals instead... my mother wants table runners. I think it would be too much color (our colors are lime green and purple - say HELLO to popping color everywhere)... I told her it won't matter. People will remember the band and the food. Thoughts?

Ok - done with wedding surveys now... Cheers!

[nubka]

I've never been to a wedding were there was a printed program. It seems alright the way you have it - just take off the I'm not having music part. I wouldn't explain about not having music, just don't have it.

[PDilemma]

1) I did not do any sort of program for the reception. Let your MC and/or DJ handle it. People generally know what to expect anyway.

2) If the caterer or event manager organizes the buffet with enough space for people to get through and keeps them coming in a good--but not too quick pace--they shouldn't need menus. We didn't do it. People were just happy they were being fed a decent meal. (I can't tell you the number of weddings I have been to with Lilliputian portions of finger food served at dinner time!)

3) That is a problem for guests with kids. Will the reception hall be open for them? If it is, make sure someone is there to welcome them and that drinks are available. If not, you need to have an idea for them at least.

4) We had the country club decorate for the reception. White table cloths, candle center pieces, linen napkins in our colors. That was it. It looked simple and elegant. Too much can be tacky. So I would definitely say less is more.

My biggest advice is to let go of all of it that morning. Don't worry about organizing any more that day or about who is doing what. Relax and enjoy your wedding. I know so many women who say they spent the whole day worrying about the next thing going exactly right that they didn't ever just enjoy the moment. Don't let that happen!

Congrats!!!

[PrincessLeppard]

1. No programs
2. No menu. It's a freakin' buffet. People are just going to overload their plates anyway.
3. Maybe provide a sitter for the kids if the adults want to come to the bar? Beyond that, they chose to have kids, they can make their own plans. It's not about them and their kids.
4. I don't give a crap about decor. I want food.

[millyskate]

I'd say...
1. No programs needed for the reception
2. I do like having menus. Especially when you're not sure what the dish is just by looking at it...
3. Maybe you can think of something the kids can do in the interval. Doesn't need to be something fancy, but depending on their ages, getting someone to supervise them while they make cards/ a work of art/prepare a song for the bride and groom or something... I went to a wedding where that was done, and it worked well.
4. I like nicely decorated reception rooms. But if the hall already looks nice, and you have petals n stuff... you don't need to overdo it. If you feel table runners are over the top, they probably are.

[Jojo]

1. Programs aren't necessary. At the reception, people are relaxed and just go with the flow.
2. No menu necessary for the buffet. I've MC'ed once, and as part of my spiel, I talked about the buffet, the main components, and gave advice as to how to make the most of the limited real estate on your plate (i.e. bun in the pocket, pick up cutlery last, focus on the meat... just something to get a chuckle out of people)
3. If you invited those guests and their children, it's up to you to make sure that all your guests are taken care of between the ceremony and reception. So you'll have to make sure that there's something for those who bring their kids, and their kidlets of course.
4. Decor - less is more. Those are bright, attention-getting colours. A tiny bit in the room will go a long way.

Good luck and tell us what you decide.

[pat c]

1. No programs
2. No menu - unless you know of someone who has a food allergy, than it might be nice to give them a heads up.
3. We've gone to weddings when our kids were little, we dealt with a break in between the wedding and the reception. Parents will deal.
4. Go with what you want. If you want less, do less.

Aside, people can get a little silly with decorations. We went to one where they had an aisle runner. I thought it was over the top.

[Habs]

1. No programs for the reception. Our MC and DJ were both terrific so it wasn't necessary for us at all.
2. No menu for the buffet. It's a buffet
3. I would let the guests with kids take care of themselves. It's not up to you to be the cruise director in between the ceremony and reception. As someone mentioned, it would be nice if they can get into the reception site a bit earlier (and make refreshments available!) but beyond that, I wouldn't worry about it.
4. Less is more with the decor. Don't overdo it - tasteful is good! We didn't do much decorating beyond centrepieces (very small) on the tables and some flowers by the guest book table. The room didn't need it.

[PDilemma]

This is what ours looked like on the section for the ceremony. The names were not in parentheses. (I removed their names here). Our parents, grandparents, attendants, etc...were listed on the page before--we used a tri-fold.

The Wedding Mass

Processional
“Canon in D” & “Allegro Maestoso”

Liturgy of the Word
Genesis 2:18-24
Psalm 148
Colossians 3:12-17
John 15:12-16
The Homily
The Rite of Marriage
Exchange of Vows
Exchange of Rings
Prayers of the Faithful
Unity Candle
“We Stand Together”
(Vocalists names)

Liturgy of the Eucharist
Preparation of the Altar
“Ave Maria” (vocalist)
Communion Meditation
“How Beautiful” (vocalist)

Concluding Rite & Recessional
“Ode to Joy”

[PDilemma]

I would add that it was spaced more than that

[Twilight1]

1. No program for reception.
2. A board that has the menu on entry would be nice...(I like to know what I am in for lol!) but not necessary.
3. If entertainment was set for the other guests, IMHO, it seems unfair to exclude other guests with children esp if you invited them to be a part of the day. I can only speak for myself when I say that I would be offended by that. (But I am sensitive to that kind of stuff)
4. I am a less is more type of person too when it comes to decor. I love simplicity and you picked bright colours. More than enough again IMHO.

[mag]

1. No programs
2. No menu - unless you know of someone who has a food allergy, than it might be nice to give them a heads up.
3. We've gone to weddings when our kids were little, we dealt with a break in between the wedding and the reception. Parents will deal.
4. Go with what you want. If you want less, do less.

Aside, people can get a little silly with decorations. We went to one where they had an aisle runner. I thought it was over the top.

ITA with this. When I have taken my kids to a wedding, we usually like a break between the ceremony and the reception. It gives us time to take the kids to a park or somewhere to run off some energy so they will be content at the reception.

[flyingsit]

Personally I don't think programs are necessary. Everyone knows what's going to happen anyway.

[PDilemma]

I've never been to a church ceremony without a program that lists the readings, the music, and the members of the wedding party. At outdoor weddings, I've never been given one.

I have seen overly detailed ones and simple ones. Ours was simple. We were at a wedding once that listed how the bride and groom knew everyone in the wedding party, as in:

Matron of Honor, Jane Smith--The Bride's College Roommate
Flower Girl, Susie Doe--Younger Cousin of the Groom

That was a bit much. Especially since it was pretty obvious that the flower girl was younger than the groom!

[Garden Kitty]

1. No programs
2. No menu, but make sure the items are labelled on the table if something isn't obvious
3. How long is the break? If possible it would be nice to at least suggest a place where families with kids could go during thre break, especially for out of town visitors who may not be familiar with the area.
4. Doesn't matter to me. Go with your instinct and I'm sure it will be fine.

[Murdoch]

See - this is why I come here!!

Ok - no programs - THANK YOU!! I am forwarding this to my FMIL, who thinks it is the best idea ever!

No menu either - it is a Ukrainian buffet - not hard quite honestly. My caterer does the labels up before hand - so I don't even need to worry about that (just found this out today).

Break is 2:00-5:00 - I figure a good time for naps!! LOL! However, on our wedding website, we have a list of things people can do in and around town - so hopefully they will look there? We MIGHT be getting a bounce house for the hall, so if we do, perhaps I will get that set up a little earlier and open the hall for kids around 4 - though there will be a lot of people going in and out (vendor wise) around that time...

I want to try a mock up of our table... because I don't think we need everything the mothers think we do...

THANKS AGAIN!!!

[Murdoch]

Programs are programs for me - but this one my grandmother is insisting on and my mother is doing... she is making a fan out of the program, so functional and serving a purpose. I just hate the wording! LOL!

[Aceon6]

1) I was contemplating doing programs for the reception, but I have a lot of faith in our MC, plus there are surprises along the way. Do you like to know how much of the program is left, don't know, don't care? Unless you need to prepare the guests for something (everyone move outside to watch the fireworks or a special guest entertainer who won't appear until 8:30 p.m.) programs are overkill.

2) We are doing a buffet dinner - people say I need menus (I will withhold my response). Do you like to know what your choices are before you get up there (especially since you can then plan the lay of the land on your plate), or you like a surprise or you don't care? Identifying the food may be helpful to those who need to restrict their diets. A description in the buffet line is usually sufficient.

3) There is a break between the church and the reception, which is apparently becoming more and more taboo... but we have planned something in between at the bar we met at - unfortunately kids cannot be involved, though this doesn't effect alot of our guests. FMIL thinks I should plan something for families too (again I will withhold my response). Thoughts? How big is the break? If it's more than 2 hours, you'll need somewhere for the out of towners to go. Remember, many will check out of their hotels in the morning and may not have any options.

4) The decor. How much does the decor of the hall REALLY matter? It looks pretty when you walk in, the tables are colorful, and I didn't do table runners, I used rose petals instead... my mother wants table runners. I think it would be too much color (our colors are lime green and purple - say HELLO to popping color everywhere)... I told her it won't matter. People will remember the band and the food. Thoughts? Personally, I hate runners. Folks always seem to catch their stemware or silverware on them.

[BigB08822]

I will be honest, I would not be happy at all if I had to do something between the wedding and reception, whether I had kids or not. Is it safe for everyone to go to a bar, where I presume everyone will drink, and then drive to the reception? I know people can be DD but they will not enjoy that at all. At least at the reception there is food, music to dance to, big tables to sit, etc. I can't stand when the wedding parties don't take ANY photos before the wedding which means everyone is waiting at the reception for an hour or so before it can really get started. I know this is your wedding but I would skip the bar trip, maybe incorporate that into a pre wedding party somehow?