I love my family...really I do, but I'm done with them. Christmas was just not fun. My Dad, who wants to divorce my mom (they've been separated 16 years when my mom moved out and she is completely content never to move back but pitching a hissy fit if he even mentions divorce, both of them are completely dysfunctional) He spends the night rolling his eyes behind her back at all she says or does. She is oblivious to it all, and he can't deny her entry to the "family" house as her name is still on the mortgage, even though only he still lives there. Yes, they're a fun bunch at holidays (actually, anyday in fact). She is addicted to QVC shopping and fox news, has no friends anymore, and sits at home getting her brain beat to death with developed conspiracy theory's by the fox newscasters. Everything out of her mouth is negative. everything. Merry Merry.
My uncle spent a good portion of the evening in the bathroom. To which my aunt said out loud, "he's in there texting his girlfriend, as if he thinks I'm stupid". Sigh. Sadly, she was probably right.
My cousin....smartly got married and moved to another state and spent christmas with his wife.
Me, stuck. I didn't want to be there amongst all their miserableness that they veiled with fake happines for appearances sake. And...I worked hard to find the right gifts for everyone, and my mom basically tossed mine in the trash (a card offering lunch and a shopping trip for me to buy her any microwave of her choice...as she said hers was getting a broken latch). She promtly told me she intended to use her microwave until it died and didnt want a new one. Um, okay, fine, I won't take you out shopping then. Fortunately my aunt pulled me aside later and said it was a nice gesture, even if the recipient didnt appreciate. so I felt a bit better. BUt still soured the whole evening, and to make it worse my mother gave me clothes, upon clothes, as she does every year. ANd about two months before christmas I ask her to not buy me clothes, every year. And every year insists on buying clothes, nothing fits right (which is why I despise getting clothes, I'm a hard fit). ANd of course, she refuses to ever put a gift receipt in the box with clothes, so I'm stuck. All the years before, honestly I've either silently dumped the clothes to goodwill with the tags still on, or just taken it back and only gotten back at the significantly reduced post-christmas price as I had no receipt. With her none the wiser. And I feel as if I'm ungrateful for being this way this year, but after her behavior with the microwave, and the fact that she always buys people gifts of stuff she thinks they should have, completely ignoring what they might prefer or like. So I opened the clothes, actually put one on this year out of the box since it was a zipper shirt....had it fit only down to my belly button (as I have a long torso) and couldn't fit the zip closed over my chest (as I'm a 34 DD). Maybe I just felt like being a bitch, but I was so done with it all. Showed her, and asked for a gift receipt for all the clothes. And she had a bitch fest all over me and said she didn't keep any of the receipts and that I should lose weight so it will fit. (because I'm apparently so fat at a size 8/10). So I have clothes with no receipt to once again dump elsewhere, which is such a waste of her money. I feel like an ungrateful bitch for feeling like this, as its the thought that counts in gifts, but I know with my mother, that is not the case, otherwise she would have cared about the fact that none of it fits. And I got insulted twice by her. Argh!
Done, Done, Done. I am so frickin done. Done with the 60+ year olds in my family dumping their relationship problems on my (yes father, I don't need to hear about how you want to bring a 24 year old stripper by my house when I'm not home to avoid my mother using her key on your house and finding you-the answer is NO. Mother, I don't need to hear you tell me how much a bastard my father supposedly is, if he's such an ass, divorce him, he's already told me you won't sleep with him and haven't done so since 1994, aint no marriage left! THe man actually stayed celibate for the first 10 years of your separation, thanks to his oversharing. Aunt and Uncle, go do whoever you want behind each other's back, leave me out of it). And above all....I'm just the 30 year old "kid" in the family...stop sharing this stuff with me. I may be an adult now, but it's so innapropriate. soon I will start charging therapy fees.
Honestly...the only part of christmas I enjoyed this year was going to church christmas eve (alone) and then hanging out with my boyfriend and his young son christmas morning at their house, sharing breakfast and watching all the excitement a 4 year old has with his santa gifts. None of the happiest parts involved any of my relatives. None.In fact, they made it miserable. And that's very sad.
So, can I cancel Christmas next year?