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  1. #1

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    Is it natural to get grumpy as you get older?

    Do people's levels of intolerance get higher as they get older?

    My mum who is in her mid-60's certainly complains about a lot more things but is also a lot more racist than she used to be. But there is also a woman here at work who is also in her 60s and seems to hate so many people and always complaining.

    Maybe I see it more because of the particular people I am around. But they have also had those shows about Grumpy Old Men and Women.

    Is it just me or is it something that really is quite common?

    I just know I certainly don't want to end up like that!
    When you are up to your arse in alligators it is difficult to remember you were only meant to be draining the swamp.

  2. #2

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    My mom is a wonderful person, but she is definately more grumpy than she used to be. Where did her sense of humor go? As she has really aged, she doesn't have much interest in staying young at heart.

    Luv ya mom - who knows what I'll be like at your age (though I would always like to stay young at heart...)
    Nubka - Unpaid Slave Laborer...

  3. #3

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    My mom is in her mid 50s and she is substantially grumpier than even 5 years ago.
    Logic is in the eye of the logician --Gloria Steinem

  4. #4
    Skating Pairs with Drew
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    %&^$*#& What the hell kind of question is that?

  5. #5

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    my dad's declining health I think contributed to this. Empty nest, chronic pain, cataracts, loss of mobility, etc. I get grumpy thinking about it; but I have too much to do right now to dwell on it.
    "awwww....shades of Janet Lynn" - Dick Button on anyone who makes more than one mistake in their program.

  6. #6
    Hey, Kool-Aid!
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    My theory is with each passing decade your bullshit radar improves that you have less and less tolerance for crap.

    So you appear grumpier and I guess you are grumpier but it's because you've seen it all so many times before that you won't bother wasting a second more of your time on the same old same old because you really weren't born yesterday
    Tessa and Scott: Thank you

  7. #7
    Tranquillo
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    My mother always says that as you get older you've got your same personality - only more so. The happy people seem to get even happier, and the grumpy ones tend to get grumpier.
    "The Devil is joining in, and that's never a good sign." Phil Liggett

  8. #8

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    My 72 year old mother has not gotten grumpier, but I have with her. I love her to death but sometimes I just want to stick my fingers in my ears and start singing Row row row your boat... Actually I find I'm less tolerant of things as I age (4 years shy of 50 here), except for in coaching. I have an autistic adult skater I teach and people say I have the patience of a saint to teach her. I wouldn't call it that at all as I'm just doing my job. She's such fun to teach I wouldn't give her up for anything.
    I guess the hard thing for a lot of people to accept is why God would allow me to go running through their yards, yelling and spinning around.


  9. #9
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    From The Ballad of Lucy Jordan:
    At the age of thirty-seven she realised she'd never
    Ride through Paris in a sports car with the warm wind in her hair.
    So she let the phone keep ringing and she sat there softly singing
    Little nursery rhymes she'd memorised in her daddy's easy chair.

    Her husband, he's off to work and the kids are off to school,
    And there are, oh, so many ways for her to spend the day.
    She could clean the house for hours or rearrange the flowers
    Or run naked through the shady street screaming all the way.
    As the weight of our unfulfilled dreams settles on us, some of us go crazy, but most of us just get more impatient and grumpy. I see it a lot in myself. (age 49)
    ‎"You emerge victorious from the maze you've been travelling in." Oct 21,2012- Best Fortune Cookie Ever!

  10. #10

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    My grandmothers have both been terribly negative in their old age (though one of them was pretty much always like that). The negativity just seems to come from them in waves. No one does anything right and everyone is against them. I'm terrified of ending up like that. I try really, really hard to fight my critical tendencies now so I won't fall into the habit.
    Charter member of the "We Always Believed in Ashley" Club and the "We Believe in Ricky" Club
    Old, lonely, pathos-hungry, and extremely gullible

  11. #11

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    Quote Originally Posted by Garden Kitty View Post
    My mother always says that as you get older you've got your same personality - only more so. The happy people seem to get even happier, and the grumpy ones tend to get grumpier.
    I think I like this one. When I was fairly young, I visited my grandma in the hospital - and she was fun to visit. Shortly after that, I visited my aunt in a hospital, and she was a B*tch. Ten years later, I learned my aunt was in for something fairly serious, whereas Grandma was healthy as a horse. So maybe that accounted for their moods. Twenty years after that, I again visited Grandma in the hospital, except this time she was dying, and yet she was still fun to visit. And the aunt? She's still a B*tch.

    So I made up my mind to be happy. It's a lot more fun. And when I am down, I call my friend and she makes me laugh so when I get off the phone life is good again. I can do the same for myself, but it takes a little longer.

  12. #12
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    I think part of it is actually fear- fear that the majority of their lives has passed, fear of being alone or helpless, fear of not being able to keep up with the speed that the world changes. What comes across as negativity might just be a reaction to feeling less in control.

  13. #13

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    Quote Originally Posted by 1lutz2klutz View Post
    I think part of it is actually fear- fear that the majority of their lives has passed, fear of being alone or helpless, fear of not being able to keep up with the speed that the world changes. What comes across as negativity might just be a reaction to feeling less in control.
    This is a very wise messsage. But for me, I think at age 61, I'm just pissed off that I don't have another 70 years to enjoy life! Seriously, I'm not grumpy at all. In fact, I feel lighter and happier in some respects and heavier in others. I don't have to work so hard, but I don't have many of the wonderful things of younger life to re-live, like young children and youthful emotions. But then again, I have two gorgeous grandchildren that I can enjoy and love but don't have to worry about raising. There is such encouragement in the idea that you have "time" when you are younger. Now I don't have as much, but I am also so grateful for the life I have had and can still reasonably expect good days to come. Heck-good decades!

    When you hit your 50's....your parents or other older relatives and friends begin to pass away or suffer....and yet you are still strong and healthy but you realize there is nothing you can do to save your loved ones from dying, no matter how strong you are or how much money you have. It's like a wake-up call of reality. Maybe one is not invincible or omniscient or have all the answers. I think anyone can experience this at any age, but the mid-50's seems to be a common time. One begins to see the finish line and know that there is still time, but we must use it wisely!

    Perhaps a sense of impatience with those who "have all the time in the world" plays a part. It's like I want to shake the shoulders of the young and say "Don't take this for granted!" But yet I love youth and love young people and their spirit and energy so much. Each era is a treasure. I do not like older people who shake fingerrs and admonish young people. I do not like older people who think they "know it all." Some might know more-some might not depending on how they've lived their lives.

    Here's to life. Joi de vivre!

  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by Holley Calmes View Post
    Perhaps a sense of impatience with those who "have all the time in the world" plays a part. It's like I want to shake the shoulders of the young and say "Don't take this for granted!" But yet I love youth and love young people and their spirit and energy so much. Each era is a treasure. I do not like older people who shake fingerrs and admonish young people. I do not like older people who think they "know it all." Some might know more-some might not depending on how they've lived their lives.

    Here's to life. Joi de vivre!
    You know, I've never met you, but this quality about you comes across so well in your other posts. And until a post I read I think yesterday, I thought you were actually decades younger

  15. #15

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    I have two theories about this, and I just hope that I can remember them long enough to type them!

    First, after a certain age, say 60, we may no longer feel that we have to please everyone. If we don't like something we will say so. Chances are we can't get fired or punished for speaking our mind. We could also be set in our ways and like things done the right way.....OUR WAY!

    Second, the body no longer produces as many hormones, and people get grumpy for physiological reasons.

    For myself, I like to think that I am more cheerful than I was in my 40s & 50s. I am certainly much happier now. However, when I am in pain I am definitely grumpy.

  16. #16

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    Getting older doesn't mean one has to become an old crank.

    I practice Chi Kung and Tai Chi, and I and my many friends and classmates (of all ages above and below 60) are all getting happier... not crankier!

  17. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by Garden Kitty View Post
    My mother always says that as you get older you've got your same personality - only more so. The happy people seem to get even happier, and the grumpy ones tend to get grumpier.
    I can definitely see this in my mom. Now that us kids are grown and taking care of ourselves, she's happy to chirp, "It's your life, do whatever you want!" rather than yelling at us to study. She's so much more happy-go-lucky than she was before, even though she's gone through a bunch of health issues.

    Even my dad has chilled out a bit, although he'll still give you a long lecture if you ask a simple question.

  18. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by Holley Calmes View Post
    This is a very wise messsage. But for me, I think at age 61, I'm just pissed off that I don't have another 70 years to enjoy life! Seriously, I'm not grumpy at all. In fact, I feel lighter and happier in some respects and heavier in others. I don't have to work so hard, but I don't have many of the wonderful things of younger life to re-live, like young children and youthful emotions. But then again, I have two gorgeous grandchildren that I can enjoy and love but don't have to worry about raising. There is such encouragement in the idea that you have "time" when you are younger. Now I don't have as much, but I am also so grateful for the life I have had and can still reasonably expect good days to come. Heck-good decades!

    When you hit your 50's....your parents or other older relatives and friends begin to pass away or suffer....and yet you are still strong and healthy but you realize there is nothing you can do to save your loved ones from dying, no matter how strong you are or how much money you have. It's like a wake-up call of reality. Maybe one is not invincible or omniscient or have all the answers. I think anyone can experience this at any age, but the mid-50's seems to be a common time. One begins to see the finish line and know that there is still time, but we must use it wisely!

    Perhaps a sense of impatience with those who "have all the time in the world" plays a part. It's like I want to shake the shoulders of the young and say "Don't take this for granted!" But yet I love youth and love young people and their spirit and energy so much. Each era is a treasure. I do not like older people who shake fingers and admonish young people. I do not like older people who think they "know it all." Some might know more-some might not depending on how they've lived their lives.

    Here's to life. Joie de vivre!
    I need to take this approach to life (and remind my husband about it).

  19. #19
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    I forget who said this first, but the quote is something like this:

    As one gets older, their broad mind trades places with their narrow waist.

  20. #20
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    My mom, who just lost my dad a few months ago, has definitely gotten grumpier - but we call it depression, and she sees a doctor (and takes meds) for it.

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